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  1. #1
    Atomic Punk ZeoBandit's Avatar
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    12.14.17 @ 05:57 AM
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    Default Most embarrassing first date

    I don't know if this is true or not, but it is funny as hell!


    This was on the "Tonight Show" with Jay Leno.

    Jay went into the audience to find the most embarrassing first date worst
    first date experience.
    There was absolutely no question as to why her tale took the prize!

    She said it was midwinter... snowing and quite cold...
    and the guy had taken her skiing in the mountains
    outside Salt Lake City, Utah.

    It was a day trip (no overnight! ). They were strangers, after all, and
    truly had never met before.
    The outing was fun, but relatively uneventful until they were headed home
    late that afternoon.
    They were driving back down the mountain, when she gradually began to
    realize that she should not have had that extra latte.

    They were about an hour away from anywhere with a rest room and in the
    middle of nowhere!
    Her companion suggested she try to hold it, which she did for a while.
    Unfortunately, because of the heavy snow and slow going, there came a point
    where she told him that he had better stop and let her go beside the road,
    or it would be the front seat of his car.

    They stopped and she quickly crawled out beside the car, yanked her pants
    down and started. In the deep snow she didn't have good footing, so she let
    her butt rest against the rear fender to steady herself. Her companion stood
    on the side of the car watching for traffic and indeed was a real gentleman
    and refrained from peeking.
    All she could think about was the relief she felt despite the rather
    embarrassing nature of the situation.
    Upon finishing however, she soon became aware of another sensation. As
    she bent to pull up her pants, the young lady discovered her buttocks were
    firmly glued against the car's fender.

    Thoughts of tongues frozen to poles immediately came to mind as she
    attempted to disengage her flesh from the icy
    metal.
    It was quickly apparent that she had a brand new problem
    due to the extreme cold.
    Horrified by her plight and yet aware of the humor of the moment, she
    answered her date's concerns about "what is
    taking so long" with a reply that indeed, she was "freezing her butt off
    and in need of some assistance!"

    He came around the car as she tried to cover herself with her sweater and
    then, as she looked imploringly into his eyes, he burst out laughing. She
    too, got the giggles and when they finally managed to compose themselves,
    they
    assessed her dilemma. Obviously, as hysterical as the situation was, they
    also were faced with a real problem. Both agreed it would take something
    hot to free her chilly cheeks from the grip of the icy metal!
    Thinking about what had gotten her into the predicament in the first
    place, both quickly realized that there was
    only one way to get her free. So, as she looked the other
    way, her first-time date proceeded to unzip his pants and pee her butt off
    the fender.

    As the audience screamed in laughter, she took the Tonight Show prize
    hands down... or perhaps that should be
    "pants down."
    And you thought your first date was embarrassing.

    Jay Leno's comment .. "This gives a whole new meaning to being pissed
    off."
    "What we are dealing with here, is a complete lack of respect for the law" - Jackie Gleason, Smokey and the Bandit

    www.geocaching.com - The site where you are the search engine.

  2. #2
    Atomic Punk smithjc's Avatar
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    08.04.17 @ 11:33 PM
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    Wow. That's hilarious!!

    Nothing like "assessing" the situation.
    RIP - Classic Van Halen

    "A lot of people take Van Halen more seriously than we do." The Diamond One



  3. #3
    Baluchitherium loveevhsince79's Avatar
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    10.23.15 @ 04:49 PM
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    Default

    Man, that's hilarious! Can't even imagine the embarrassment.

  4. #4
    Hang 'Em High janthraxx's Avatar
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    11.18.14 @ 07:57 PM
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    Default

    Yowza! That's pretty bad. And hilarious
    "Suck a fat one, faggot."
    -MikeL, showing off that sharp wit of his.

    "You may recognize some of these chemicals. Let's start with cyanide...The one the Aum Shinrikyo cult attempted to use to commit mass murder in a Tokyo subway in May 1995...The same cyanide produced routinely--1.4 million tons per year--for use in the production of plastics, adhesives, cosmetics, pharmaceuticals, and so on. It seems that those who put small amounts of cyanide in subways are terrorists. But those who produce it in mass quantities and contaminate broad reaches of soil, water, and air, killing countless living beings, are not terrorists, but rather capitalists, and are counted among the finest and most powerful people on the planet."

    -Derrick Jensen, "What We Leave Behind"

    "You know what's weird to me is Christians who are against the death penalty. After all, if it weren't for the death penalty, we wouldn't celebrate Easter!"

    -the late, great, Bill Hicks

  5. #5
    Casting Shade
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    05.04.08 @ 05:05 PM
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    Default

    I believe this was already posted a few weeks ago. But it is hilarious.
    "Rehab is for Quitters"

    "It is not possible to have life after death since death is the end of life." -OV

    "What doesn’t kill you, will only make you pissed off!"
    -Alexi Laiho

    "If I know I'm going crazy...I must not be insane." -Dave Mustaine

    "Simpson, QUICK! Honk at that broad." -Mayor Quimby

  6. #6
    Sinner's Swing! racefan8's Avatar
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    04.01.11 @ 07:59 PM
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    I got this as an email and I thought I posted it. Funny as hell!
    Stupid is forever, ignorance can be fixed.
    False words are not only evil in themselves, but they infect the soul with evil.
    Compassion is the basis of all morality.
    The stupid neither forgive nor forget; the naive forgive and forget; the wise forgive but do not forget.
    www.myspace.com/getracefan8

  7. #7
    Atomic Punk ZeoBandit's Avatar
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    12.14.17 @ 05:57 AM
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    Default

    Yep, RF beat me to it. I don't know how I missed it when it was first posted! :

    Here is RFs thread: http://www.vhlinks.com/vbforums/show...arrassing+date
    "What we are dealing with here, is a complete lack of respect for the law" - Jackie Gleason, Smokey and the Bandit

    www.geocaching.com - The site where you are the search engine.

  8. #8
    Sinner's Swing! racefan8's Avatar
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    04.01.11 @ 07:59 PM
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    Quote Originally Posted by ZeoHalen
    Yep, RF beat me to it. I don't know how I missed it when it was first posted! :

    Here is RFs thread: http://www.vhlinks.com/vbforums/show...arrassing+date
    See... racegirls are fast
    Stupid is forever, ignorance can be fixed.
    False words are not only evil in themselves, but they infect the soul with evil.
    Compassion is the basis of all morality.
    The stupid neither forgive nor forget; the naive forgive and forget; the wise forgive but do not forget.
    www.myspace.com/getracefan8

  9. #9
    Atomic Punk ZeoBandit's Avatar
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    Default

    "What we are dealing with here, is a complete lack of respect for the law" - Jackie Gleason, Smokey and the Bandit

    www.geocaching.com - The site where you are the search engine.

  10. #10
    Eruption Perrott's Avatar
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    08.30.06 @ 10:32 AM
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    Default

    haha beats anyone that I've had.

 

 

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