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  1. #1
    Sinner's Swing! racefan8's Avatar
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    04.01.11 @ 07:59 PM
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    My mother taught me...

    1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE . "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."

    2. My mother taught me RELIGION. "You better pray that will come out of
    the carpet."

    3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL . "If you don't straighten up,
    I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

    4. My mother taught me LOGIC. "Because I said so, that's why."

    5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC. 'If you fall out of that swing and
    break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."

    6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT. "Make sure you wear clean underwear,
    in case you're in an accident."

    7. My mother taught me IRONY. "Keep crying, and I'll give you something
    to cry about.."

    8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS. "Shut your mouth
    and eat your supper."

    9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM . "Will you look at that dirt
    on the back of your neck!"

    10. My mother taught me about STAMINA. 'You'll sit there until all that
    spinach is gone."

    11. My mother taught me about WEATHER. "This room of yours looks as if a
    tornado went through it."

    12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY. "If I told you once, I've told
    you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

    13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE. "I brought you into this
    world, and I can take you out."

    14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
    "Stop acting like your father!"

    15. My mother taught me about ENVY. "There are millions of less
    fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."

    16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION. " Just wait until we get
    home."

    17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING. "You are going to get it when
    you get home!"

    18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE. "If you don't stop crossing
    your eyes, They are going to freeze that way."

    19. My mother taught me ESP . "Put your sweater on; don't you think I
    know when you are cold?"

    20. My mother taught me HUMOR. "When that lawn mower cuts off your toes,
    don't come running to me."

    21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT. "If you don't eat your
    vegetables, you'll never grow up."

    22. My mother taught me GENETICS. "You're just like your father."

    23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS. " Shut that door behind you. Do
    you think you were born in a barn?"

    24. My mother taught me WISDOM. "When you get to be my age, you'll
    understand."

    25. And my favorite : my mother taught me about JUSTICE. "One day you'll
    have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"

    I'm turning into my mother - just ask my kids!!!!
    Stupid is forever, ignorance can be fixed.
    False words are not only evil in themselves, but they infect the soul with evil.
    Compassion is the basis of all morality.
    The stupid neither forgive nor forget; the naive forgive and forget; the wise forgive but do not forget.
    www.myspace.com/getracefan8

  2. #2
    Baluchitherium Leo Van Newhouse's Avatar
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    08.14.13 @ 03:25 AM
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    13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE. "I brought you into this
    world, and I can take you out."

    15. My mother taught me about ENVY. "There are millions of less
    fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."


    Yeah, aren't we fortunate
    THE PEOPLE HERE TONIGHT : Representing DAVID LEE ROTH in all his glory!!!!!!!!!

    JH: "How was your New Years Eve show at the House Of Blues?"
    DLR: "James...I AM New Years Eve!"

    "To keep up with me, you must be fast. To sing like me, you must be great. To beat me? You must be kidding?" David Lee Roth

    "I'm gonna want to rock out w/ my cock out instead of playing anal taper dork." Colonel Sanders


    ANOTHER HOSTILE TAKEOVER COMING YOUR WAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  3. #3
    Sinner's Swing! InTheBeginning's Avatar
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    07.20.17 @ 05:17 PM
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    ...you better shop around.
    A little more volume in the headphones please.

  4. #4
    Casting Shade
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    05.04.08 @ 05:05 PM
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    Great list! I think I heard about 90% of those at one point or another.
    "Rehab is for Quitters"

    "It is not possible to have life after death since death is the end of life." -OV

    "What doesn’t kill you, will only make you pissed off!"
    -Alexi Laiho

    "If I know I'm going crazy...I must not be insane." -Dave Mustaine

    "Simpson, QUICK! Honk at that broad." -Mayor Quimby

  5. #5
    Good Enough ScottRoberts's Avatar
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    04.05.12 @ 09:06 AM
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    Quote Originally Posted by LoveWalkinIn
    Great list! I think I heard about 90% of those at one point or another.
    I've heard most of them and now I'm starting to say them!
    Scott Roberts
    The Official Scott Roberts Blog - http://www.scottrobertsweb.com
    FORMER owner of The VH Trade Site - http://www.vhtrading.com

  6. #6
    Atomic Punk ZeoBandit's Avatar
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    12.14.17 @ 05:57 AM
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    #25 is sooooo true! And it became true with my sister's second daughter. She is my sister all over again!
    "What we are dealing with here, is a complete lack of respect for the law" - Jackie Gleason, Smokey and the Bandit

    www.geocaching.com - The site where you are the search engine.

  7. #7
    Sinner's Swing! racefan8's Avatar
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    04.01.11 @ 07:59 PM
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    Quote Originally Posted by ZeoHalen
    #25 is sooooo true! And it became true with my sister's second daughter. She is my sister all over again!

    LOL - I've wished (or cursed) my oldest daughter with triplets just like her. It would be justice for sure. She's not a bad kid, but I would love for her to have to deal with one just like her!
    Stupid is forever, ignorance can be fixed.
    False words are not only evil in themselves, but they infect the soul with evil.
    Compassion is the basis of all morality.
    The stupid neither forgive nor forget; the naive forgive and forget; the wise forgive but do not forget.
    www.myspace.com/getracefan8

  8. #8
    Atomic Punk ZeoBandit's Avatar
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    12.14.17 @ 05:57 AM
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    Quote Originally Posted by racefan8
    LOL - I've wished (or cursed) my oldest daughter with triplets just like her. It would be justice for sure. She's not a bad kid, but I would love for her to have to deal with one just like her!
    My sister actually called my parents at 3am a few years ago crying and saying "I'm sooo sorry for everything I did as a kid......"

    I laughed my ass off when I heard about that!
    "What we are dealing with here, is a complete lack of respect for the law" - Jackie Gleason, Smokey and the Bandit

    www.geocaching.com - The site where you are the search engine.

  9. #9
    Sinner's Swing! Sunya's Avatar
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    02.10.10 @ 10:42 PM
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    As a grandparent I am already enjoying #25 as I watch my son with his daughter.
    "Suppose you were an idiot ... And suppose you were a member of Congress... But I repeat myself."
    --Mark Twain


    There's no one as smart as a gambler at the track putting thier last $10.00 on the longest shot of the day.

  10. #10
    Atomic Punk stilleddiesangel's Avatar
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    08.25.17 @ 05:45 PM
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    I'm sooo looking forward to seeing my eldest deal with a kid just like her!!!
    ****Texas - Home Of My Heart****

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  11. #11
    Atomic Punk ZeoBandit's Avatar
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    12.14.17 @ 05:57 AM
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    I sent this to my mom and she said approximately 50% of it applied to the way she spoke to us kids growing up.
    Last edited by ZeoBandit; 09.01.05 at 08:54 AM.
    "What we are dealing with here, is a complete lack of respect for the law" - Jackie Gleason, Smokey and the Bandit

    www.geocaching.com - The site where you are the search engine.

  12. #12
    Sinner's Swing! racefan8's Avatar
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    04.01.11 @ 07:59 PM
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    Quote Originally Posted by ZeoHalen
    My sister actually called my parents at 3am a few years ago crying and saying "I'm sooo sorry for everything I did as a kid......"

    I laughed my ass off when I heard about that!
    That is beautiful Ah sweet justice...
    Stupid is forever, ignorance can be fixed.
    False words are not only evil in themselves, but they infect the soul with evil.
    Compassion is the basis of all morality.
    The stupid neither forgive nor forget; the naive forgive and forget; the wise forgive but do not forget.
    www.myspace.com/getracefan8

  13. #13
    Atomic Punk ZeoBandit's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by racefan8
    That is beautiful Ah sweet justice...

    "What we are dealing with here, is a complete lack of respect for the law" - Jackie Gleason, Smokey and the Bandit

    www.geocaching.com - The site where you are the search engine.

  14. #14
    Sinner's Swing! Sunya's Avatar
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    One of the best things my son has said to me has been. Mom now I know why you made me change into play clothes when I got home from school. Kids clothes are really expensive!

    hehehehehehehehehe
    Zoie acts more like him everyday. Bull headed, vocal and into everything.
    "Suppose you were an idiot ... And suppose you were a member of Congress... But I repeat myself."
    --Mark Twain


    There's no one as smart as a gambler at the track putting thier last $10.00 on the longest shot of the day.

 

 

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