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  1. #1
    Sinner's Swing! racefan8's Avatar
    Join Date
    To Hell and back ~ 26.2 miles
    Favorite VH Album

    Van Halen
    Favorite VH Song

    Mean Street
    Last Online

    04.01.11 @ 06:59 PM
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    Worst "First Date" ever

    If you didn't see this on the Tonight show,
    I hope you're sitting down when
    you read it. This is probably the funniest date story ever,
    first date or not!!!

    We have all had bad dates..
    but this takes the cake. This just tells you
    how tough it is to be single nowadays.
    This was on the "Tonight Show" with
    Jay Leno.
    Jay went into the audience to find the most embarrassing first
    date that a woman ever had.
    The winner described her worst first date
    There was absolutely no question as to why her tale took the prize!

    She said it was midwinter...
    snowing and quite cold...
    and the guy had
    taken her skiing in the mountains outside Salt Lake City, Utah.
    It was a day trip (no overnight). They were strangers,
    after all, and truly had never met before.
    The outing was fun but relatively uneventful until they
    were headed home late that afternoon.
    They were driving back down the mountain,
    when she gradually began to realize that she should not have had that extra
    They were about an hour away from anywhere with a rest
    room and in the middle of nowhere!
    Her companion suggested she try to hold
    it, which she did for a while.
    Unfortunately, because of the heavy snow and
    slow going,
    there came a point where she told him that he had better stop
    and let her pee beside the road,
    or it would be the front seat of his car.
    They stopped and she quickly
    crawled out beside the car, yanked her pants
    down and started.
    In the deep snow she didn't have good footing,
    so she let her butt rest against the rear fender
    to steady herself. Her companion
    stood on the side of the car watching for traffic
    and indeed was a real
    gentleman and refrained from peeking.
    All she could think about was the
    relief she felt despite the rather embarrassing
    nature of the situation. Upon finishing however,
    she soon became aware of another sensation.
    As she bent to pull up her pants,
    the young lady discovered her buttocks were
    firmly glued against the car's fender.
    Thoughts of tongues frozen to pump handles
    immediately came to mind
    as she attempted to disengage her flesh from the icy metal.
    It was quickly apparent that she had a brand new
    problem due to the extreme cold.
    Horrified by her plight and yet aware
    of the humor of the moment, she
    answered her date's concerns about
    "what is taking so long" with a reply
    that indeed, she was "freezing her butt off
    and in need of some assistance!"
    He came around the car as she tried to cover
    herself with her sweater and
    then, as she looked imploringly into his eyes,
    he burst out laughing.
    She too, got the giggles and when they finally
    managed to compose themselves,
    they assessed her dilemma.
    Obviously, as hysterical as the situation was,
    they also were faced with a real problem Both
    agreed it would take
    something hot to free her chilly cheeks
    from the grip of the icy metal!
    Thinking about what had gotten her into
    the predicament in the first place,
    both quickly realized that there was only
    one way to get her free. So, as she looked the other way,
    her first-time date proceeded to unzip his pants
    and pee her butt off the fender.
    As the audience screamed in laughter,
    she took the Tonight Show prize hands
    down... or perhaps that should be
    "pants down." ..And you thought your
    first date was embarrassing.

    Jay Leno's comment ..
    "This gives a whole new meaning to being pissed off.
    Stupid is forever, ignorance can be fixed.
    False words are not only evil in themselves, but they infect the soul with evil.
    Compassion is the basis of all morality.
    The stupid neither forgive nor forget; the naive forgive and forget; the wise forgive but do not forget.

  2. #2
    Atomic Punk Menlow's Avatar
    Join Date
    South Florida
    Favorite VH Album

    VH II
    Favorite VH Song

    Unchained, DOA
    Last Online

    06.14.17 @ 05:46 PM
    Liked 23 Times in 9 Posts



    I heard that one. It's pretty funny, but I don't know if I believe it.

  3. #3
    PM Goo with your concerns OLO's Avatar
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    Enumclaw, WA
    Favorite VH Album

    Fair Warning
    Favorite VH Song

    Last Online

    05.27.18 @ 09:03 AM
    Liked 107 Times in 44 Posts


    That made me laugh out loud!!
    ((Just My Two Cents))
    And thats about what its worth.



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