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  1. #1
    Unchained TenaciousD21's Avatar
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    Default Official Kevin Smith Thread

    Ok, after watching Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back for the 1st time in like a year, and watching on Starz An Evening With Kevin Smith af ew days ago, i remembered the greatness that is Kevin Smith and his movies. From Clerks, to Mallrats, Chasing Amy, Dogma, Jay and silent Bob Strike Back and soon to be (i think) Clerks 2: Passion of the Clerks.

    Anyone else love the greatness that is Kevin Smith?

    Chris Rock:"What the fuck is that? Look at this, a gay hood ornament and the color purple."
    Jay:"Who the fuck are you?"
    Chris Rock: "Who the fuck am I? I'm the director Chaka Luther King, that's who the fuck I am!"
    Jay: "Now wait a second, I thought Banky and Holden created this shit."
    Chris Rock: "And I'm stealing it. I'm taking it back for the black man! To make up for all the shit you mother fuckers have taken from us. Did you know I came up with the idea for Sesame Street? I came up with it before PBS. The white man stole it! thats right. I was gonna call it NWP, Niggas With Puppets. Catchy aint it?"



    Jay: "Why do they call you Cockknocker?"
    Mark Hammil: "Actually theres a funny story behind that. Haha, your gonna like this, true story!" (proceeds to punch Jay in the dick)


    Will Ferrel: "Why are you shooting at me?"
    Girls: "Because you're a man!"
    Will Ferrel: "Only on the outside."

    omg just Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back alone is awesome!!
    Last edited by TenaciousD21; 08.19.05 at 12:55 AM.
    "And I used to wonder why, then later i realized, cuz he's Eddie Fuckin Van Halen!"
    -Michael Ian Black on VH1's I Love the 80s as to why Eddie Van Halen is always smiling.

  2. #2
    The Dude Dan Halen's Avatar
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    Kevin Smith rules. I love all of his movies (except Jersey Girl). Here's how I'd rank them:

    Mallrats - Very underrated. Bombed at the box office but Jason Lee is hilarious as Brodie. Jay and Silent Bob steal every scene that they're in.

    Jay & Silent Bob Strike Back - Non-stop laughs and great cameos (especially Will Ferrell).

    Clerks - Started it all. Great performances by Brian O'Halloran and Jeff Anderson.

    Chasing Amy - More serious than his previous movies, but still very funny. Jason Lee and Ben Affleck have a lot of chemistry and Joey Lauren Adams was great.

    Dogma - The funniest parts are with Jay and Silent Bob. It was an enjoyable movie but IMO not as great as the others.

    Also, the short-lived cartoon series "Clerks" was hilarious. I think only two episodes aired but every episode made is on DVD.
    "It's so damn hot... milk was a bad choice." --Ron Burgundy, Anchorman

  3. #3
    Good Enough
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    I bow to the greatness that is Jay & Silent Bob....

    Smith is a really funny dude who can write some dialogue!!!!
    From 3-13 to 10-6 and NFC South Champs.....go Saints!

    My Hurricane Katrina pics

  4. #4
    Atomic Punk onefootoutthedoor's Avatar
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    Funny thing is, Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back is not even the best that he has done. His best stuff is in the first three movies he did.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  5. #5
    Good Enough LittleGuitars99's Avatar
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    12.23.05 @ 12:07 PM
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    Kevin Smith is plain genius, and based on all of the interviews I have seen he seems very down to earth.
    "So what's your story? Any tread left on the tires? Or is it like throwing a hotdog down a hallway?" Stewie Griffin

    Detroit Red Wings

    GP 34 Record: 22-9-3

  6. #6
    Atomic Punk sixstring's Avatar
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    Snoochie boochies!

    The Motherfuckin' Time!

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]


    "20 minutes (late to work)? Shit. Last year I woke up three weeks too late.
    My advice is to go for the alien abduction story. Look bemused, dishevelled and on the verge of tears as you recount your story of intrusive and degrading medical tests.
    Worked for me anyway. I still have colleagues asking me what it is like to fuck a green womanoid with seventeen breasts.
    Alternatively just walk in and inform everyone that alcoholism is indeed a disease and that they should be less judgemental and perhaps a little more supportive."
    - graeme on the addiction to this place.

    "something tells me that after the nuclear holocaust, there'll be twinkies, cockroaches, and a dave vs. sammy argument going on somewhere".
    - han valen, 6.11.04

    "in my best "saw" scary movie voice: "oh, yes, there will be beagles."
    - hatchetforce, 6.7.06

  7. #7
    Wear the fox hat... Filthy 150's Avatar
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    Default

    Kevin Smith has the best lines in each movie.
    In Clerks,
    "..........................................."
    In Jay & Silent Bob Strike Back,
    "..........................................."
    And the funniest one, Dogma,
    "..........................................."

    Kills me every time.
    "Here's to swimmin' with bow legged women."
    Quint- Boat Captain
    --------------------------------------------------


    "As God as my witness...I thought turkeys could fly"
    Arthur Carlson- Radio Station GM
    --------------------------------------------------


    "I think you're all fucked in the head. We're ten hours from the fucking fun park, and you wanna bail out! Well, I'll tell you something, this is no longer a vacation . . . it's a quest! It's a quest for fun! I'm gonna have fun, and you're gonna have fun! We're all gonna have so much fucking fun we'll need plastic surgery to remove our Goddamn smiles! You'll be whistling Zip-a-dee-doo-da out of your assholes! "
    Clark W. Griswold- Food Additive Designer
    ---------------------------------------------------


    VIVA TEXAS LINKERS WEEKEND!
    Round I = Done!
    Round II = Done!
    Round III = Done!
    Round IV = Done!
    Round V = Done!
    Round VI = Done!
    Round VII = Done!
    Round VIII = Done!

  8. #8
    Good Enough EJC's Avatar
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    Jason Mews used to hang out at a bar I was working at in Sea Bright, NJ back in my college days. I hadn't seen the movie yet, and I turned him away at the door because he was underage, and didn't even have a fake ID. Then the waitress there who was dating him was like "Dude, that's my boyfriend, Jay from the Clerks movie, you can let him in." So he started coming in alot, and he was totally cool. No attitude at all, but he wasn't really a big star at that point. I never met Kevin, but we had a few mutual friends and they said he was cool too. I think all their shit is funny as hell, but sometimes you really need to be from NJ to fully appreciate it....

  9. #9
    Unchained JCM 800's Avatar
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    Customer: Cute cat, what's its name?
    Randal: Annoying Customer.
    Customer: Fuckin' dickhead!

    I was in tears the first time I saw Clerks...Smith is definitely a genius.
    "You will respect my authoritah!" Ptl.Cartman

  10. #10
    Good Enough Vince G.'s Avatar
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    He gave a really good lecture (and VERY blue!) at Comic-Con a few weeks ago. He is really quick witted, and I think he would've made a great standup comedian. He made mincemeat out of some bible-thumper who kept trying to interrupt him during his speech, and graciously accepted a film from an unknown film student for review. How cool is that?
    "Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that."

    "This is a lttle prayer dedicated to the separation of church and state. I guess if they are going to force those kids to pray in schools they might as well have a nice prayer like this: Our Father who art in heaven, and to the republic for which it stands, thy kingdom come, one nation indivisible as in heaven, give us this day as we forgive those who so proudly we hail. Crown thy good into temptation but deliver us from the twilight's last gleaming. Amen and Awomen. ."

    "I think it's the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately."

    -George Carlin 1937 - 2008

  11. #11
    Damage your reputation seenbad's Avatar
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    Default

    yo yo, bus dis'...

    Fuck fuck fuck, motha motha fuck, motha motha fuck fuck.

    Shmokin' weed shmokin' weed....etc etc.

    Classic shit.
    sheepa latta peepah dabba looka foh a moopy

    Gunter glieben glauchen globen

  12. #12
    Eruption jaybird's Avatar
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    Saw Kev on his "Evening With" tour a couple years back. I almost peed my pants a couple of times. He tells a great story and really gives you your money's worth. Went on for over 3-1/2 hours and was still going at midnight when they started turning the lights out in the auditorium! Talk about rude!

    Told some classic ones about Affleck and Mewes. Jay was in rehab then and Kev talked about how he went totally downhill on heroin after Strikes Back. He eventually had to kick him completely out his life and tell him to stay away from his house and family. You could tell it really hurt him, because they're so tight.

    If you want to keep up with what's what with KS, go to www.viewaskew.com and click on his blog (aptly titled "My Boring Ass Life"). He goes into a lot of detail about virtually EVERYTHING in his life, even his sex life with his wife Jennifer. BTW--she played one of the hotties in Strike Back, the tall skinny brunette with the pony tails.

    "Would you like a chocolate covered pretzel?"

  13. #13
    The Dude Dan Halen's Avatar
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    "You know, there's a million fine looking women in the world, dude. But they don't all bring you lasagna at work. Most of 'em just cheat on you."
    "It's so damn hot... milk was a bad choice." --Ron Burgundy, Anchorman

  14. #14
    Sinner's Swing! Buckeye's Avatar
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    Just finished reading Silent Bob Speaks. I highly recommend it to any Kevin Smith fans. Very entertaining and a quick read.

  15. #15
    Little Dreamer
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    Wow great to see the Kevin Smith love here! And I can confirm that he's very cool in real life too - he doesn't have the attitude that often comes with celebrity and he's just an incredibly nice guy!

    You know every so often he holds a little film festival called Vulgarthon (I've been lucky enough to have attended four out of the five that he's held so far) - and this years surprise movie was an early screening of...



    It's an excellent film and it was very cool of Kevin to let his fans see it before the official release!

 

 

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