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  1. #1
    Atomic Punk WinterlessIceness's Avatar
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    Default Double M Thread (Mishar's *cough* band)

    I don't think I'd qualify for 'pimp your band' topic 'cause I'm a single 3-weeks eh... songwriter but I hope you wouldn't mind me sharing some stuff with you from time to time :/

    10 minutes old, dedicated to my lovely girlfriend

    Oh Shut It

    You try to tell me what to do
    And screw my day again
    You wanna make me play for you
    Yeah yeah

    You stick to me just like a glue
    Don't let me go away
    You make my feelings turn to blue
    Damn

    Go get a life
    Don't fuck my mind
    Shut up and
    Bang the wall with head for what I know
    It is so wrong
    It's been so long
    Get over
    it, it's life and not a friggin show


    I start to feel so insecure
    Whenever u talk to meh
    I'd rather fight with biker's crew
    Oh-h, yeah!

    I love you still I know for sure
    I'd let the tartness be
    But babe that is so overdue

    Go get a life
    Don't fuck my mind
    Shut up and
    Bang the wall with head for what I know
    It is so wrong
    It's been so long
    Get over
    it, it' s life and not a friggin show


    And the tune is here. Please don't mind my emo vox . Enjoy in anyway, hope you do
    Last edited by Mishar McLeud; 08.16.05 at 10:57 AM.

  2. #2
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    02.26.17 @ 05:10 PM
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    does your girlfriend know you wrote those lyrics?
    let's be real...EVH was GOD

    Runnin' might put too much focus on the fact that there's a little kid on bass - knuck

    I see three bona fide ROCK GODS, and then somebody's kid. - CaboTime

  3. #3
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    That's an instant classic!
    -nobody rules these streets at night but me-

  4. #4
    Atomic Punk WinterlessIceness's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by elvhfan
    does your girlfriend know you wrote those lyrics?
    She would be 'ex' to me then

    So what do you think about the tune?

  5. #5
    Hang 'Em High janthraxx's Avatar
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    11.18.14 @ 07:57 PM
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    I really like the lyrics, nice attitude, but just for a little help: I think you're missing an article or a pronoun in each of these lines:



    Quote Originally Posted by Mishar McLeud

    Bang the wall with head for what I know



    I'd rather fight with biker's crew


    Bang the wall with head for what I know
    [/CENTER]

    Nice work otherwise
    "Suck a fat one, faggot."
    -MikeL, showing off that sharp wit of his.

    "You may recognize some of these chemicals. Let's start with cyanide...The one the Aum Shinrikyo cult attempted to use to commit mass murder in a Tokyo subway in May 1995...The same cyanide produced routinely--1.4 million tons per year--for use in the production of plastics, adhesives, cosmetics, pharmaceuticals, and so on. It seems that those who put small amounts of cyanide in subways are terrorists. But those who produce it in mass quantities and contaminate broad reaches of soil, water, and air, killing countless living beings, are not terrorists, but rather capitalists, and are counted among the finest and most powerful people on the planet."

    -Derrick Jensen, "What We Leave Behind"

    "You know what's weird to me is Christians who are against the death penalty. After all, if it weren't for the death penalty, we wouldn't celebrate Easter!"

    -the late, great, Bill Hicks

  6. #6
    Atomic Punk WinterlessIceness's Avatar
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    Haven't listened yet besides? I wonder where your speakers are



    And thanks I'll see if I could add those 'a'-s and 'the'-s to fit the rhyme

  7. #7
    Atomic Punk chefcraig's Avatar
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    03.07.10 @ 06:18 AM
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    I think it rocks.

    I like the vocal sychopation going with the phrasing in the chords of the chorus. That's cool songcraft.

    Don't fret the vocal...I think it carries it.

    Nice job.

    ...craig
    "The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore, all progress depends on the unreasonable man."
    George Bernard Shaw

  8. #8
    Hang 'Em High janthraxx's Avatar
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    11.18.14 @ 07:57 PM
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    Broken!
    "Suck a fat one, faggot."
    -MikeL, showing off that sharp wit of his.

    "You may recognize some of these chemicals. Let's start with cyanide...The one the Aum Shinrikyo cult attempted to use to commit mass murder in a Tokyo subway in May 1995...The same cyanide produced routinely--1.4 million tons per year--for use in the production of plastics, adhesives, cosmetics, pharmaceuticals, and so on. It seems that those who put small amounts of cyanide in subways are terrorists. But those who produce it in mass quantities and contaminate broad reaches of soil, water, and air, killing countless living beings, are not terrorists, but rather capitalists, and are counted among the finest and most powerful people on the planet."

    -Derrick Jensen, "What We Leave Behind"

    "You know what's weird to me is Christians who are against the death penalty. After all, if it weren't for the death penalty, we wouldn't celebrate Easter!"

    -the late, great, Bill Hicks

  9. #9
    Hang 'Em High janthraxx's Avatar
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    11.18.14 @ 07:57 PM
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    Okay I went to the other compter and listened to it.


    Dude it brought a smile to my face, cool tune. Excellent acoustic strumming and chord sequence, and I like how you sing except for like you said, the "emo"-ish chorus inflection.

    You gotta love the riff at the end, haha that cracked me up
    "Suck a fat one, faggot."
    -MikeL, showing off that sharp wit of his.

    "You may recognize some of these chemicals. Let's start with cyanide...The one the Aum Shinrikyo cult attempted to use to commit mass murder in a Tokyo subway in May 1995...The same cyanide produced routinely--1.4 million tons per year--for use in the production of plastics, adhesives, cosmetics, pharmaceuticals, and so on. It seems that those who put small amounts of cyanide in subways are terrorists. But those who produce it in mass quantities and contaminate broad reaches of soil, water, and air, killing countless living beings, are not terrorists, but rather capitalists, and are counted among the finest and most powerful people on the planet."

    -Derrick Jensen, "What We Leave Behind"

    "You know what's weird to me is Christians who are against the death penalty. After all, if it weren't for the death penalty, we wouldn't celebrate Easter!"

    -the late, great, Bill Hicks

  10. #10
    Atomic Punk chefcraig's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by janthraxx
    Okay I went to the other compter and listened to it.


    Dude it brought a smile to my face, cool tune. Excellent acoustic strumming and chord sequence, and I like how you sing except for like you said, the "emo"-ish chorus inflection.

    You gotta love the riff at the end, haha that cracked me up

    Emo my grandfather...the chorus works, bringing a stark nobility to the general thrust of the lyrics.

    I simply wish he would have stayed true to the lyrics, and said "fuck my mind" in the first volley.

    ...craig
    "The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore, all progress depends on the unreasonable man."
    George Bernard Shaw

  11. #11
    Atomic Punk WinterlessIceness's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by janthraxx
    Okay I went to the other compter and listened to it.


    Dude it brought a smile to my face, cool tune. Excellent acoustic strumming and chord sequence, and I like how you sing except for like you said, the "emo"-ish chorus inflection.
    Thanks Jan, honestly I wasn't sure which vocal style to go with but more hard-rocking didn't fit so I wanted to go with something in the mood of Coheed And Cambriad... although some would diss me hard for doing this


    You gotta love the riff at the end, haha that cracked me up [/QUOTE]
    I knew somebody would notice

  12. #12
    Atomic Punk WinterlessIceness's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by chefcraig
    Emo my grandfather...the chorus works, bringing a stark nobility to the general thrust of the lyrics.

    I simply wish he would have stayed true to the lyrics, and said "fuck my mind" in the first volley.

    ...craig
    I actually didn't want to use that line at all in the song, but remembering all the crazy stuff I'be been through with that girl I just could help myself

    Thanks, I wasn't sure if those vocals in chorus would sound good, I got the idea from hell knows where. Definately not the stuff I've usually been listening to

  13. #13
    Atomic Punk chefcraig's Avatar
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    OK...now, write another one. Write three more. Write 46 more.

    Get going.

    "The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore, all progress depends on the unreasonable man."
    George Bernard Shaw

  14. #14
    Atomic Punk WinterlessIceness's Avatar
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    ^ Actually that's my 6th...
    :/

  15. #15
    Atomic Punk
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    12.11.17 @ 04:37 PM
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mishar McLeud
    I wanted to go with something in the mood of Coheed And Cambriad... although some would diss me hard for doing this
    Mish, those guys rock!!
    "Watch what people are cynical about, and one can often discover what they lack.” -- Gen. George S. Patton

 

 

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