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Thread: Has anyone seen

  1. #1
    Baluchitherium Guitar Shark's Avatar
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    Default Has anyone seen

    Wengie? I miss that dude and his stories.

  2. #2
    Atomic Punk sixstring's Avatar
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    Me, too. Funny bastard he is...
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]


    "20 minutes (late to work)? Shit. Last year I woke up three weeks too late.
    My advice is to go for the alien abduction story. Look bemused, dishevelled and on the verge of tears as you recount your story of intrusive and degrading medical tests.
    Worked for me anyway. I still have colleagues asking me what it is like to fuck a green womanoid with seventeen breasts.
    Alternatively just walk in and inform everyone that alcoholism is indeed a disease and that they should be less judgemental and perhaps a little more supportive."
    - graeme on the addiction to this place.

    "something tells me that after the nuclear holocaust, there'll be twinkies, cockroaches, and a dave vs. sammy argument going on somewhere".
    - han valen, 6.11.04

    "in my best "saw" scary movie voice: "oh, yes, there will be beagles."
    - hatchetforce, 6.7.06

  3. #3
    Don't Touch the Dog There axebrian's Avatar
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    I didn't know this dude but, here's one of his post I dug up
    BTW....he only had 2 posts

    Originally posted by Wengie:

    Yes I do kick ass. I kick everything including ass.
    I remember you. You're the one who wanted advice from me. I gave you advice but it didn't help did it wood fingers.
    Retirement? You wish.
    I've been succesfully touring the continent.
    I've eaten Big Macs in every city in Europe. Can you say that?
    I didn't think so.

    And yes VanHalen5150, I am "extremely" cool.
    ####......###,
    #............#.....#
    ###........#......#
    #............#.....#
    ####......###'

    February 10, 1978...The day that changed the Rock N Roll guitar world!!!

  4. #4
    Emperor of VHLinks.com Brett's Avatar
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    Most of Wengie's brilliance was lost when the board was hacked.

    I'm sure he will return.
    Webmaster
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  5. #5
    Atomic Punk sixstring's Avatar
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    Default Wengie Part One:

    I guess his best stuff was lost in the Great Hack...but you guys are in luck! I just happened to save two of his best posts because I think they're some of the funniest shit that's ever been posted here...enjoy


    Well fans, I know you've all been waiting on pins and needles for my personal interview with the band so I won't keep you in suspense any longer. I knew they would never speak to anyone but yours truly, regarding their plans for the upcoming tour so I decided to take matters in my own hands.
    First, I knew I would have to approach the Van Halen household quickly and quietly, so being the mental giant I am, I went to Mr. Ozuru's Martial Arts of Beverly
    Hills to find a costume which would enable me to slip undetected onto the grounds, where I would surprise Edward, and after we both had a good good laugh we would all sit down and I would get the interview of the decade for my
    fans.

    After Mr. Ozuru picked out a secret ninja outfit for yours truly, I tried it on, twirling and dancing around in front of the mirror for 15 or 20 minutes to get the feel of the
    outfit.
    I tell you I moved like a jungle cat, and black is very slimming in the mirror so it was doubly enjoyable. I imagined myself whispering through the woods like a shadow, until "I" was ready to be seen, at which point I would suddenly appear, using the patented ninja moves Mr. Ozuru demonstrated for me, after I forked over 3000. in twenties.
    The only low point came when I insisted I wanted to practice with the specially patented ninja nachuckas. I really thought they were rubber, but they turned out to be wood.
    After I cracked myself in the back of the head with them I couldn't remember anything for a few hours, but when I came to I was packed for action and ready to go.

    Unfortunately Mr. Ozuru didn't have the ninja outfit in silk so I had to have my tailor redesign the whole thing, but I kept to the secret black ninja colors so I could blend in like the wind through the trees, as I made ready to climb the hill behind Ed's house.

    I couldn't decide whether to go like smoke through the forest at night, when all us ninjas usually travel, or during the day when I could see what I was doing.
    Unfortunately I only took 1 ninja lesson and that ended when I blacked out from a self inflicted shot to the head with the nanchuckas.
    I figured I'd be invisible in my special outfit anyway, and decided to slip unseen like the tiger, after a nice breakfast of bacon and flapjacks.
    I was up at the crack of dawn at 11 a.m., dressed, nearly ready to go.
    I had to stay in fighting form, and wanted to keep it light so I'd be ready for action, and instructed my cook helga not use more than half a bottle of syrup on the flapjacks, my wanting to be a jungle cat and all.
    I finished breakfast and after a short nap I was really ready to go.
    I put the special ninja notepad, and black ninja bic pens in that little pocket that usually has those funny little metal stars in it. I would have kept the stars, but couldn't figure out what I was supposed to do with them, and stabbed myself with one while trying a stretch that I was instructed to do by my sensei, Mr. Ozuru. He said to stretch for 20 minutes, but I stabbed myself during the first stretch so I figured there's no point if it hurts, and it would only wrinkle the silk anyway, so off I
    went.

    My wife just kept mumbling something in Latvian, or whatever the hell country she's from, and shaking her head so she wouldn't help as usual, but women don't understand the way of the ninja anyway so what can you do. She's actually not much good for much of anything these days, but that's another story. I had an important interview coming up, and had helga drop me off at the bottom of the hill
    so I wouldn't attract attention.
    As I slipped into the trees unnoticed, I began my climb, for you my fans.

    It went well for the first 10 minutes as I slipped from tree to tree like a ghost. Then I began to tire, and was getting very warm all dressed up like that in black.
    Silk holds the heat in pretty well, let me tell you.
    I decided not to wear those black slippers that came with the outfit because I thought they looked stupid so wore my snakskin cowboy boots instead, but my black silk pants kept riding up my legs and I could't keep them in my boots, so that probably wasn't the best idea I've ever had.
    Regardless, I moved on, keeping to the shadows. Of course it was pretty sunny so there weren't many shadows, but I did my best.
    Up and up I climbed, darting from bush to bush so as not to attract attention.

    Everything was going well, until I came across a couple of hikers.
    I was bent double over a log, trying to catch my breath when I heard someone yell, "Hey, what are you doing there?"
    Trying to be my usual diplomatic self, and breathe at the same time, I aswered, "fuck off idiot, I'm a ninja."
    I guess you don't get many ninjas here in Hollywood, because suddenly their walking sticks snapped up into the club position and they and came after me like pitbulls. I jumped up and posed in my special kung foo move, my best Bruce Lee enter the dragon pose. Unfortunately they didn't slow down, so my next special move was to turn and start running like my silk underwear was on fire.

    I was doing well too, until my black belt caught on a branch and I went down face first into a pile of logs.
    I did manage to get into my "ninja stance" and pull out my nunchakas, but Mr. Ozuru would only give me the rubber ones after my little "accident", so they didn't do a lot of good.
    After they got tired of laughing and beating me with the walking sticks they finally left.
    Let me tell you, they were the toughest women I'd ever met.
    It was hard to see exactly how big they were with those clubs bouncing off my head and groin like keys on a typewriter, but I bet they were lesbians.

    Anyway, I wasn't sure how long I blacked out for but when I came to a little while later, off I went to get the story.
    About an hour later I finally came to "the wall". Yes, "the" wall at the back of the property that only I, Wengie, know the secret path to.
    Now my hidden ninja reflexes kicked in, as I crept like the panther that I am, around to the base.
    I stopped and posed again to make sure no one was following me, but no one was there. I couldn't hold my pose very long cause the mosquitos were sucking blood by the pint, so I knew I'd better get over the wall quickly.
    As I stood and listened I thought I heard music coming from the other side, but couldn't be sure because my ears were still ringing from the attack by those lesbo assasins.

    After about another hour and a half of dragging logs and brush up to the base of the wall, I had a platform high enough to climb onto, so I could hook my fingers over the top and pull myself up.
    It's been a few years since I did any finger pulling though, and I think I've gained a pound or two along the way so it took another half hour to get enough wood so I
    could just stand about a foot beneath the top. I was about 20 feet in the air and my colection of logs and brush was pretty shakey so I knew I'd better get up there quickly.

    I pulled on my special black ninja head cover and peeked over the top, but no one was there, so I used my powerfully trained muscles to pull myself up the last foot or so.
    15 minutes later I was sitting on the top, waiting for the ringing in my ears to stop so I could make my way up to the studio, and yell "SURPRISE".
    Boy I had to use Ed's bathroom badly. I stopped peeing blood about an hour after those brides of satan attacked me, but those flapjacks were really kicking in and wanted out like you know what through a goose.
    I sat there rocking back and forth trying not to think about it, holding my stomach, passing gas and hoping farts had lumps, and was just about to hop down into the yard when the side door opened, and who should come out but Sammy Hagar and Alex Van Halen.
    They were talking and hadn't noticed me in my secret invisible diguise. Sammy was eating one of those big California oranges they grow out here.
    I was just about to yell "Hey Sammy, surprise", when he looked up and noticed me. I pulled off my head cover and yelled "Hey Sa...", when something orange cracked off my forhead like a cannon ball and sent me flying backwards over the wall like humpty fuckin dumpty.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]


    "20 minutes (late to work)? Shit. Last year I woke up three weeks too late.
    My advice is to go for the alien abduction story. Look bemused, dishevelled and on the verge of tears as you recount your story of intrusive and degrading medical tests.
    Worked for me anyway. I still have colleagues asking me what it is like to fuck a green womanoid with seventeen breasts.
    Alternatively just walk in and inform everyone that alcoholism is indeed a disease and that they should be less judgemental and perhaps a little more supportive."
    - graeme on the addiction to this place.

    "something tells me that after the nuclear holocaust, there'll be twinkies, cockroaches, and a dave vs. sammy argument going on somewhere".
    - han valen, 6.11.04

    "in my best "saw" scary movie voice: "oh, yes, there will be beagles."
    - hatchetforce, 6.7.06

  6. #6
    Atomic Punk sixstring's Avatar
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    Default Wengie Part Deux

    I must have shot back pretty good because I never even touched the wooden platform on my way down. Just hit a log or two at the bottom. I also left one of my cowboy boots on the other side, and I think part of my scrotum on one of the logs.
    I bounced two or three times, and it took me a minute or so to catch my breath but I had to find a tree fast.

    Time to deliver my payload, if you know what I mean.
    I heard Alex yelling, "who the hell's there?". but I couldn't talk right at the moment.
    A couple of minutes later I was back at the wall. I yelled "Hello...hello Alex, Sammy. Are you still there?"
    I heard giggling from the other side of the wall, so I knew the boys were there.

    Ignorant bastards.
    I yelled "it's me Wengie, you fuckin retards. I'm here for an interview. Help me over the wall. Don't make me kick some serious ass!"
    I managed to drag my nuts back up the platform but I don't think they recognized me in my outfit. I probably looked too scary in my ninja costume because just as I peeked over the top the missing cowboy boot bounced off my face. I just caught sight of Edward coming out the door as I rolled backwards off the platform again.
    I suppose the good part is, this time I didn't hit any wood on my way down.

    Let me tell you, this ninja crap is harder than it looks on tv. Jackie Chan, my ass.
    After picking myself up again I noticed my costume was all dirty and I didn't smell too good, probably because I forgot to bring toilet paper again, but I was here for my
    fans and I was going to get that VH interview that only I could get. Fucking A holes.

    Once again I tried to be diplomatic, and said, "Edward, it's me Wengie you little knob. Did you watch my video, and use the silk outfit I sent you?"
    More giggling.
    One more damn climb up to the top of the pile and a peek over the top and sure enough, they were all standing there with stupid grins on their faces. Now I was starting to get pissed.
    "See, it's me, Wengie, you fuckin mutants. It's not really a ninja. Don't be scared. Now help me over the wall, or Edward I want my damn video back."

    Now I don't know what happened to that spotted hound shernam, or sherwood, or durwood, or whatever that mutt's name was, but it doesn't matter cause a few seconds later I heard a bark, and two rottweilers the size of racehorses came barreling at the wall. I jumped back just in time, lost my balance and...well you know what happened. Fuckin A holes.

    As I tried to pick myself up off the ground one more time I heard footsteps. Finally those useless dinks were coming to escort me in. About time.
    I managed to get to my hands and knees, and was just beginning to breathe on my own again, when I realized it wasn't the boys but their squad of rented apes I recognized, pouring over the wall faster than my wife at a yard sale.

    Well, I took that as my cue that the interview was probably over for the moment.
    I just got to my feet when that damn cowboy boot took me in the back of my head.
    Saved me running though, because I rolled 75 feet or so down the hill, and would have got away clean if a tree hadn't jumped in my way.
    As it was I saw them coming and managed to get up long enough to slip into my special karate pose. Didn't stop the goons any better than it did the damn lesbos, so I was on my way again. Fuckin Ozuru.

    Unfortunately by now my special silk ninja pants were down around my knees, which made running somewhat more difficult, but made it much easier to roll the rest of the way.
    That was a good thing, considering I only had one boot on, and was too damn tired to stand up anyway. I did manage to yell, "you ignorant fucks, I want my boooot back" before I started tumbling again.
    The next thing I remember was lying at the bottom of the hill picking twigs out of my ass, at least the ones I could reach anyway, until helga managed to get her lazy ass in the car and pick me up at our prescribed secret ninja location.

    But I GOT THE SCOOP. It's a fact. Sammy Hagar is with VanHalen. I saw it with my own eyes, and remember, you heard it here first from Wengie.
    I have to go now. I'm waiting for Edward to email me an apology, which should be coming along any time now.
    And I want that fuckin cowboy boot back. Fuckin A holes.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]


    "20 minutes (late to work)? Shit. Last year I woke up three weeks too late.
    My advice is to go for the alien abduction story. Look bemused, dishevelled and on the verge of tears as you recount your story of intrusive and degrading medical tests.
    Worked for me anyway. I still have colleagues asking me what it is like to fuck a green womanoid with seventeen breasts.
    Alternatively just walk in and inform everyone that alcoholism is indeed a disease and that they should be less judgemental and perhaps a little more supportive."
    - graeme on the addiction to this place.

    "something tells me that after the nuclear holocaust, there'll be twinkies, cockroaches, and a dave vs. sammy argument going on somewhere".
    - han valen, 6.11.04

    "in my best "saw" scary movie voice: "oh, yes, there will be beagles."
    - hatchetforce, 6.7.06

  7. #7
    Atomic Punk sixstring's Avatar
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    Default Wengie Part Tres

    Well, I'm feeling better fans. Thankyou for your well wishes.
    I can almost pee standing up again, and there's no more wood splinters in my stool, so I'm told that's a good sign.
    As for donuts Wolfman, no, they offered me nothing, absolutely nothing.
    Fortunately I had helga pickup a two-four of Krispy Kreme's for the ride home.
    I think my outfit scared them too badly, all except for that little Mike Anthony guy. I think he's just plain mean little prick. I'm sure it was him that threw the cowboy boot at me. I thought I saw him duck behind Sammy just before impact and launch. I know I saw the evil grin on his face as I did a back flip off the top of the wall.

    Yes I did take my extremely valuable time out, ThecaboKid, and did they appreciate it?
    Not that it matters because I can pickup my instrument anytime and burn like a california forest on any given weekend, so practice isn't as important for someone
    like me. It is for you though so practice practice practice. If you want to be as good as me it's important for you to keep at it.
    One day it may happen.
    Hahahaha...you see, I haven't lost my sense of humor. One day it may happen..hahahaha

    Where was I? Oh yes.
    It's true Cabo, there was no bee farm to contend with this time, like that vulcan scarecrow Vai has (and who won't return my calls by the way), but the VH ape patrol isn't much better.
    The 450 Ib. head troll, Baby Huey, is particularly nasty. Probably comes from having no neck. Him and I have had some run ins at the VH front gate in the past.
    I'm going to continue my ninja lessons for another couple of weeks though, and show him what it means to mess with a ninja master.
    Of course I have to protect my hands so I'll probably use a special ninja martial arts weapon like a hammer, or bat, or a pickup truck. I don't think I'll be using nanchukas anymore though. I haven't had too much luck with those, and the rubber ones don't seem as effective as I'd like.
    I don't know about any food differences though. If helga makes it, it must be good so I eat it. I don't pay her to think, just cook my favourite fried foods, and do odd
    jobs for me now and then, when she can get her lazy ass out of the kitchen.

    Throb. Throb? What kind of a name is throb? Wait, don't tell me, I don't want to know.
    Anyway, I'm afraid Mrs. Wengie made me burn my ninja outfit before I was allowed in the house. Either that, or the little viking wouldn't be leaving the harbor for a long time, if you get my drift.
    If I don't make her happy in the bedroom the wife gets bitchy for days at a time, but when I come to bed ready for action she laughs and laughs. She even laughs while I make my moves so I know I must be pleasing her as only I can do.
    First I parade around in front of her in my speedo to show her what it's like to be with a real man. Then 45 seconds later I fall asleep, and I can here her giggling as
    I drift off so I know I've satisfied her as only the Weng can do.
    She doesn't fall asleep as fast as me cause she says she likes to play with her toys afterwards. I don't understand that. I don't think she's the the sharpest knife in
    the drawer if you know what I mean.
    I mean, a woman her age playing with toys? Come on, what's up with that?
    Idiot.
    I've tried to play with her stupid toys when she wasn't home. They're not even any fun. They don't do anything, just lay there and make buzzy sounds.
    I suppose you can roll them back and forth on the ground, and she has enough of them to stack up and build a small log house but that's no fun.
    Well, I didn't marry her for her brains. I'm smart enough for the both of us.

    I'm not waiting for the VH's to tour though. I'm going to be paying Mr. Edward Van Halen and the boys a visit just as soon as I stop seeing double and can drive again.
    I will have that apology this time. I've been checking my email every 15 minutes but nothing yet so it looks like I'll have to confront them in person.
    I have a better way to get in this time. Just wait. Heeheehee, it's absolute genius.
    Even that thumbsucking lowland gorrilla that heads up security won't know.
    Heads up boys, Wengie's coming.
    Heeheehee....
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]


    "20 minutes (late to work)? Shit. Last year I woke up three weeks too late.
    My advice is to go for the alien abduction story. Look bemused, dishevelled and on the verge of tears as you recount your story of intrusive and degrading medical tests.
    Worked for me anyway. I still have colleagues asking me what it is like to fuck a green womanoid with seventeen breasts.
    Alternatively just walk in and inform everyone that alcoholism is indeed a disease and that they should be less judgemental and perhaps a little more supportive."
    - graeme on the addiction to this place.

    "something tells me that after the nuclear holocaust, there'll be twinkies, cockroaches, and a dave vs. sammy argument going on somewhere".
    - han valen, 6.11.04

    "in my best "saw" scary movie voice: "oh, yes, there will be beagles."
    - hatchetforce, 6.7.06

  8. #8
    Pope Of Greenwich Village SuckaInA3Piece's Avatar
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    LOL Bring back Wengie damnit!

    He was last seen over at Guitars101 not too long ago, as well as the wonderful Steve Vie. I miss those dudes.
    "It's always a Catch-22 situation. They hate you if you're the same, and they hate you if you're different."
    ~Eddie Van Halen~

    "The perfect woman has an IQ of 150, wants to make love until 4 in the morning, and then turns into a pizza."
    ~David Lee Roth~

    Sucka'sFacebook

  9. #9
    Good Enough Thai Boxer 9901's Avatar
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    That story that sixstring told was FUCKIN HILARIOUS!!!!!! I about pissed myself laughing so hard!!!! Fuckin Awesome!
    Facebook http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=504401115
    YouTube http://www.youtube.com/user/jedimasterkyle

    BOISE STATE BRONCOS! - They're awesome. Deal with it!

    11/16/04 - VAN HALEN in Boise, Idaho. Changed my life forever

    8/8/06 - Sammy Hagar and the Wabos w/Michael Anthony in Boise, Idaho. Sam and Mike still kick ass

  10. #10
    Little Dreamer
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    I've returned and I'm pissed. I was over at guitars 101 for a few posts, but that was months ago, and I didn't like it there because the office they gave me smelled like the bathroom at a Tijuana biker bar and they did nothing but argue with me and I couldn't argue back.
    It's hard to argue with someone who has the IQ of a trout. Idiots.
    There have been a few imposters over there, and probably still are, but there's only one Wengie and I'm him, or me. You toadstools know what I mean.

    This post, by the way,

    "Yes I do kick ass. I kick everything including ass.
    I remember you. You're the one who wanted advice from me. I gave you advice but it didn't help did it wood fingers.
    Retirement? You wish.
    I've been succesfully touring the continent.
    I've eaten Big Macs in every city in Europe. Can you say that?
    I didn't think so."

    was not mine. It was one of those six toe'd wengie wannabe's.
    Wood fingers? I'd never say that.
    And I haven't been touring the continent. He's a fucking moron.
    I've been away cause that asshole Alex VH told me he'd had enough of Ed during the tour, and he was sending a special plane to pick me up so I could complete the tour with them. He said sammy was constantly begging him to hire me because Ed was a prick and everyone knows how easy it is to get along with me. It brought tears to my eyes as I stood on the tarmac at the airport waiting for my plane to take off. I was ushered into the back of the plane and the guys pushing me into the plane told me it was a cargo plane bringing more equipment to the band. It was kind of cramped but being the incredible trooper I am, I went along with it. Well it was a cargo plane alright. The next thing I know I had to hold my poopoo for 18 hours and I'm landing in Iraq.
    They weren't even playing in fucking Iraq. Assholes.
    And let me tell you, a lot of those Iraqians have no fucking sense of humor.
    All I did was wander into town to tell them I was an American, and I'd better be treated as such, and then I snapped my fingers at a group of kids, and said in my most cultured voice, "hey you, nutsack, where's the nearest bar?
    Well let me tell you, it's bad enough that no one even has the courtesy to speak english over there, but the next thing you know I'm dodging goats left and right trying to get away while rocks are flying by my head like beer bottles at a Steve Vai concert. To make a long story short, all my leather clothes are gone, including 4 pairs of cowby boots, and it's taken me months to get back here, but that's another story. I mean who the fuck needs cowboy boots when all you ride are donkeys and your feet touch the ground.
    And let me tell you, goat milk tastes like shit.


    Also, that impersonating dickhead should have known that Wengie doesn't touch that fast food greasy macdonald crap. I have an exclusive contract with those dumbf*#^s at Burger king ever since my huge triumphant concert at the Cleveland burger king years ago. At first I thought it was the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame but it was close enough. They let me wear the burger crown and everything.
    By the way, have you ever seen the feet on that Ronald macdonald. That's not natural. He has no taste, no manners, orange hair, and his clothes look like they exploded on him. That asswipe.
    And he's rude and has no regard for other people's feelings. Hello boys and girls have a happy meal. Kiss my white hairy ass Ronald.
    Just because he got that cushy job he thinks I'm bitter but nothing could be farther from the truth. Jerkoff.
    And you know what else? When I got back I looked and looked for Ed's apology in my email folder and nothing. Nothing!!
    Helga told me there were lots of men here while I was gone, but not one of them was Edward coming over to make an apology. My wife said they were all gardeners that she had to hire to keep my lawns immaculate. What a wonderful woman. Always thinking of me. I have big plans for her, if you know what I mean....heeheehee

    I have plans for the VH boys too. Tonight...well maybe not tonight, helga is making my favorite " mountain 'o' fries " tonight, but as soon as I get my strength back I'm going to begin my ninja stealth training to slip into the VH compound and demand an apology. My black silk outfit is right where I left it, neatly folded and ready to go.
    First though I'm gonna hunt down that scrawny little buttplug Ozuru and demand my wooden nunchakas back. Rubber nunchakas can be very effective he says. Total bullshit. Try taking on 20 goons with rubber sticks and see how long it takes the surgeons to sew your scrotum back on.
    Well it's dinner time and nothing says loving like 8 pounds of french fries so I have to go, but I can feel the power building in me and soon I'll be ready for the hunt.

  11. #11
    Baluchitherium Guitar Shark's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Wengie
    I have plans for the VH boys too. Tonight...well maybe not tonight, helga is making my favorite " mountain 'o' fries " tonight, but as soon as I get my strength back I'm going to begin my ninja stealth training to slip into the VH compound and demand an apology. My black silk outfit is right where I left it, neatly folded and ready to go.
    You have shown remarkable restraint, Wengie. Lesser people would not have been able to control their anger over such an obvious lack of respect. I mean, come on.. you are the one and only WENGIE!

  12. #12
    Atomic Punk sixstring's Avatar
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    NOW THAT'S WHAT I'M FUCKIN' TALKIN' ABOUT!

    Good to have ya back stateside, Wengie.

    Give those fuckin' ingrates what's comin'...
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]


    "20 minutes (late to work)? Shit. Last year I woke up three weeks too late.
    My advice is to go for the alien abduction story. Look bemused, dishevelled and on the verge of tears as you recount your story of intrusive and degrading medical tests.
    Worked for me anyway. I still have colleagues asking me what it is like to fuck a green womanoid with seventeen breasts.
    Alternatively just walk in and inform everyone that alcoholism is indeed a disease and that they should be less judgemental and perhaps a little more supportive."
    - graeme on the addiction to this place.

    "something tells me that after the nuclear holocaust, there'll be twinkies, cockroaches, and a dave vs. sammy argument going on somewhere".
    - han valen, 6.11.04

    "in my best "saw" scary movie voice: "oh, yes, there will be beagles."
    - hatchetforce, 6.7.06

  13. #13
    Unchained JCM 800's Avatar
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    OMG. I fogot how classic Wengie's posts were and how much he "seriously kicks ass". The people in my office must think I'm nuts 'cause I've been laughing out loud for 20 minutes reading the "interview" post. That whole thing is brilliant.

    Wengie welcome back!!!
    "You will respect my authoritah!" Ptl.Cartman

  14. #14
    Baluchitherium Guitar Shark's Avatar
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    Yup. Major props for saving those, six.

  15. #15
    Atomic Punk sixstring's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Guitar Shark
    Yup. Major props for saving those, six.
    Thank you, thank you. I'll be here all week. Try the fish.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]


    "20 minutes (late to work)? Shit. Last year I woke up three weeks too late.
    My advice is to go for the alien abduction story. Look bemused, dishevelled and on the verge of tears as you recount your story of intrusive and degrading medical tests.
    Worked for me anyway. I still have colleagues asking me what it is like to fuck a green womanoid with seventeen breasts.
    Alternatively just walk in and inform everyone that alcoholism is indeed a disease and that they should be less judgemental and perhaps a little more supportive."
    - graeme on the addiction to this place.

    "something tells me that after the nuclear holocaust, there'll be twinkies, cockroaches, and a dave vs. sammy argument going on somewhere".
    - han valen, 6.11.04

    "in my best "saw" scary movie voice: "oh, yes, there will be beagles."
    - hatchetforce, 6.7.06

 

 

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