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  1. #1
    Atomic Punk ZeoBandit's Avatar
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    01.29.02
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    Chicago
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    Favorite VH Album

    F.U.C.K.
    Favorite VH Song

    Humans Being
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    12.13.17 @ 06:12 AM
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    Default Great Pick Up Lines

    1. I wish you were a door so I could slam you all day.
    2. Nice legs...what time do they open?
    3. Do you work for UPS? I thought I saw you checking out my package.
    4. You've got 206 bones in your body, want one more?
    5. Can I buy you a drink or do you just want the money?
    6. I may not be the best looking guy in here, but I'm the only one
    talking to you.
    7. I'm a bird watcher and I'm looking for a Big Breasted Bed Thrasher:
    have you seen one?
    8. I'm fighting the urge to make you the happiest woman on earth
    tonight.
    9. Want to play army? I'll lay down and you can blow the hell outta me.
    10. I wish you were a Pony Carousel outside Superdrug, so I could ride
    you all day long for a quarter.
    11. Oh, I'm sorry, I thought that was a Braille name tag.
    12. I'd really like to see how you look when I'm naked.
    13. Is that a ladder in your stockings or the stairway to heaven?
    14. You might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a
    light switch away.
    15. Are those real?
    16. You must be the limp doctor because I've got a stiffy.
    17. I'd walk a million miles for one of your smiles, and even farther
    for that thing you do with your tongue.
    18. If it's true that we are what we eat, then I could be you by
    morning.
    19. (Look down at your crotch) Well It's not just going to suck itself.
    20. You know, if I were you, I'd have sex with me.
    21. You. Me. Whipped cream. Handcuffs. Any questions?
    2 2. F@# me if I'm wrong, but is your name Sherry Titsbottom?
    23. Those clothes would look great in a crumpled heap on my bedroom
    floor.
    24. My name is (name)...remember that, you'll be screaming it later.
    25. Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by again?
    26. Hi, I'm Mr. Right. Someone said you were looking for me.
    27. My friend wants to know if YOU think I'M cute.
    28. Hi. The voices in my head told me to come over and talk to you.
    29. My name isn't Elmo, but you can tickle me anytime you want to.
    30. I know milk does a body good, but DAMN, how much have you been
    drinking?
    31. If you were the last woman and I was the last man on earth, I bet we
    could do it in public.
    32. Wanna come over for some pizza and sex? No? Why? Don't you like
    pizza?
    33. Baby, I'm an American Express lover...you shouldn't go home without
    me.
    34. Do you sleep on your stomach? Can I???
    35. Do you wash your pants in Windex? Because I can see myself in them.
    36. I lost my puppy. Can you help me find him? I think he went into this
    cheap motel room.
    37. (Lick finger and wipe on her shirt) Let's get you out of these wet
    clothes.
    "What we are dealing with here, is a complete lack of respect for the law" - Jackie Gleason, Smokey and the Bandit

    www.geocaching.com - The site where you are the search engine.

  2. #2
    Casting Shade
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    Favorite VH Album

    Fair Warning
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    Light Up The Sky
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    05.04.08 @ 05:05 PM
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    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by ZeoHalen
    2. Nice legs...what time do they open?
    That's a good list. Heard most of them, but it's funny to have a whole comprehensive list.

    But anyway, I have a t-shirt with #2 on it!
    "Rehab is for Quitters"

    "It is not possible to have life after death since death is the end of life." -OV

    "What doesn’t kill you, will only make you pissed off!"
    -Alexi Laiho

    "If I know I'm going crazy...I must not be insane." -Dave Mustaine

    "Simpson, QUICK! Honk at that broad." -Mayor Quimby

  3. #3
    Sinner's Swing! 79th and Sunset's Avatar
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    10.22.17 @ 12:35 PM
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    Premium Member
    Awesome !!

    I'll have to let you know how many times I get slapped. Ha !!

  4. #4
    Good Enough
    Join Date
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    35
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    where Conan O'Brien is no longer president, a.k.a. Finland
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    Favorite VH Album

    All of them.
    Favorite VH Song

    As Is.
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    10.03.17 @ 11:49 PM
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    Default

    That was an awesome list. I don't use any pick up lines but these are really funny:

    1. I wish you were a door so I could slam you all day.
    6. I may not be the best looking guy in here, but I'm the only one
    talking to you.
    12. I'd really like to see how you look when I'm naked.
    14. You might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a
    light switch away.
    19. (Look down at your crotch) Well It's not just going to suck itself.
    26. Hi, I'm Mr. Right. Someone said you were looking for me
    37. (Lick finger and wipe on her shirt) Let's get you out of these wet
    clothes.

    Numbers 12, 14, 37 might even work but you have to say number 14 to a really good looking girl..
    -nobody rules these streets at night but me-

  5. #5
    Sinner's Swing! csm5150's Avatar
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    03.04.04
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    46
    Location
    Louisiana
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    Favorite VH Album

    5150
    Favorite VH Song

    Humans Being
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    11.25.14 @ 09:53 PM
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    Premium Member

    Default

    Still my all time fave is from the stud daddies themselves, Beavis and Butthead: "Hey baby! You wanna wrestle?"
    LSU Tigers 2003 & 2007 National Champs
    Detroit Pistons 2004 NBA Champs

    If looks could kill, I'd stare at everybody!

  6. #6
    Atomic Punk stilleddiesangel's Avatar
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    03.30.04
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    A Brit in Texas
    Posts
    9,106
    Favorite VH Album

    Have a soft spot for F*U*C*K
    Favorite VH Song

    Unchained/Mine All Mine
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    08.25.17 @ 05:45 PM
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    Default

    LOL... I think pretty much all of these will lead to a smack in the kisser!!
    ****Texas - Home Of My Heart****

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  7. #7
    Atomic Punk sixstring's Avatar
    Join Date
    03.22.04
    Age
    45
    Location
    texas
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    Favorite VH Album

    1984 / 5150
    Favorite VH Song

    the ones with ed on them.
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    07.20.17 @ 02:42 PM
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    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by csm5150
    Still my all time fave is from the stud daddies themselves, Beavis and Butthead: "Hey baby! You wanna wrestle?"
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]


    "20 minutes (late to work)? Shit. Last year I woke up three weeks too late.
    My advice is to go for the alien abduction story. Look bemused, dishevelled and on the verge of tears as you recount your story of intrusive and degrading medical tests.
    Worked for me anyway. I still have colleagues asking me what it is like to fuck a green womanoid with seventeen breasts.
    Alternatively just walk in and inform everyone that alcoholism is indeed a disease and that they should be less judgemental and perhaps a little more supportive."
    - graeme on the addiction to this place.

    "something tells me that after the nuclear holocaust, there'll be twinkies, cockroaches, and a dave vs. sammy argument going on somewhere".
    - han valen, 6.11.04

    "in my best "saw" scary movie voice: "oh, yes, there will be beagles."
    - hatchetforce, 6.7.06

  8. #8
    Atomic Punk smithjc's Avatar
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    Favorite VH Album

    Women & Children First
    Favorite VH Song

    Fools/All things Halenized
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    08.04.17 @ 11:33 PM
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    Liked 29 Times in 14 Posts


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    Quote Originally Posted by atomic_punk
    That was an awesome list. I don't use any pick up lines but these are really funny:

    1. I wish you were a door so I could slam you all day.
    6. I may not be the best looking guy in here, but I'm the only one
    talking to you.
    12. I'd really like to see how you look when I'm naked.
    14. You might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a
    light switch away.
    19. (Look down at your crotch) Well It's not just going to suck itself.
    26. Hi, I'm Mr. Right. Someone said you were looking for me
    37. (Lick finger and wipe on her shirt) Let's get you out of these wet
    clothes.

    Numbers 12, 14, 37 might even work but you have to say number 14 to a really good looking girl..

    Those are great!!!

    Boy what some guys will do to see themselves in a girl's pants!!!

    Are those mirrors on your shoes??
    Cause I can see myself in your pants. - Doug Butabi/Night at the Roxbury
    Last edited by smithjc; 07.27.05 at 10:05 AM.
    RIP - Classic Van Halen

    "A lot of people take Van Halen more seriously than we do." The Diamond One



  9. #9
    Eruption Infinite Cactus's Avatar
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    12.05.04
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    29
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    Indiana
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    Favorite VH Album

    MCMLXXXIV
    Favorite VH Song

    Dirty Movies/Mean Street
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    12.01.17 @ 02:40 AM
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    Premium Member

    Default

    Here's two from Futurama that always make me smile:
    "If I said you had a beautiful body would you take off you shirt and run around in circles?"

    and my all time favorite.

    "You know I find the most erotic part of a woman is the boobies."
    Van Halen Reunion Tour
    Louisville, Kentucky July 6th, 2004
    "It's a little hot in here tonight!"


    Van Halen 2012 Tour
    Louisville, Kentucky February 28th, 2012

    Van Halen 2015 Tour
    Noblesville, Indiana September 2nd 2015

    Assistant Director of Personnel
    The 3 Brigade

  10. #10
    Beloved Glenn's Avatar
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    02.13.15 @ 08:56 AM
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    Great Pcik Up Lines
    Wanna fcuk??


  11. #11
    Sinner's Swing! Darkstar's Avatar
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    New Hampshire
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    Fair Warning
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    Too Many!
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    12.04.14 @ 11:23 PM
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    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by LoveWalkinIn
    That's a good list. Heard most of them, but it's funny to have a whole comprehensive list.

    But anyway, I have a t-shirt with #2 on it!

    Why do you have #2 on your shirt?!?! Outta toilet paper that day?!?!?
    Love should NOT be work, it should be as easy as breathing Dave's Dreidel

    My god, our government has less secrets than Van Halen. Emperor Brett

    I'm a Democrat and an Atheist, but I've yet to receive my ticket to Hell. Is this something I call Live Nation about or what? JakeK21

    I feel it takes far more energy to hate than love. Well outside of Obamacare, How Many Say I and Heineken beer. ziggysmalls

  12. #12
    Eruption HippieLettuce's Avatar
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    Women & Children 1st
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    Sinner's Swing!
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    12.10.17 @ 06:38 PM
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    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by LoveWalkinIn

    But anyway, I have a t-shirt with #2 on it!
    Might wanna wash that thing.....

  13. #13
    Casting Shade
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    Quote Originally Posted by HippieLettuce
    Might wanna wash that thing.....
    LMAO! I was sitting there thinking to myself, "Well, I can either wipe my ass with my hand and then wash it, or stink up my shirt with some shit." So I said, "Hey, why not, chicks dig a guy whose shirt smells like shit and has shit streaks all over it."
    "Rehab is for Quitters"

    "It is not possible to have life after death since death is the end of life." -OV

    "What doesn’t kill you, will only make you pissed off!"
    -Alexi Laiho

    "If I know I'm going crazy...I must not be insane." -Dave Mustaine

    "Simpson, QUICK! Honk at that broad." -Mayor Quimby

  14. #14
    Hang 'Em High jetguy5150's Avatar
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    Burlington, On, Canada, Earth
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    F.U.C.K. 1984
    Favorite VH Song

    Feels So Good (deal with it...
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    12.12.17 @ 11:16 AM
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    Liked 426 Times in 228 Posts


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    Default

    My favorite is: Speaking to woman: "I wouldn't kick you out of bed for eating crackers." Look down at crotch and say, "Right crackers?"
    Signature not currently available. You aren't missing much.

  15. #15
    Eruption Bono Vox's Avatar
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    Hear About It Later
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    12.27.16 @ 07:34 AM
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    Donor

    1)Have you ever kissed a bunny between the ears? (pulls pockets inside out)
    and then says, wanna try?

    2) Do you taste as good as you smell?

    3) Would you like to dance or should I go fuck myself again?

    4) I guess a blow job is out of the question?

    5) If you guess what I have in my hand, you can have a taste.

    6) Your place or mine? Tell you what? I'll flip a coin. Head at my place, tail at yours!

    7) Would you like to try an Australian kiss? It is just like a French kiss, but down under!


    Bono Vox: Poetic, Political, extremely generous and just a tiny bit egomaniacal.

    "You know twenty-five years ago, Tony Soprano was driving around Jersey in his iroc-Z just blasting the Van Halen"-David Lee Roth

    "Will there be a Van Halen reunion? “I have hope and faith, and that’s more than just the name of a couple of strippers from Albuquerque” -David Lee Roth

    "This band is three quarters original, one quarter inevitable" -David Lee Roth~2007

    "“We had a lot of fun on the tour – Dave was a blast. And next time we go out, we’re going to have some new stuff, too. I’m looking forward to getting on it. I’ve got tons of music written, such a variety of stuff… Actually, next week or the week after, Wolfie, Alex, and I are gonna start jamming. Maybe we’ll give Dave a call and see what he’s up to.” - Edward Van Halen ~ 2009


    ~Congratulations to 2009 World Series Champions the New York Yankees~

 

 

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