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  1. #1
    Romeo Delight
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    08.20.05 @ 05:52 AM
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    Default Favourite drinking stories.

    DISCLAIMER. The poster in no way endorses or condones over- indulgence in alcohol and would stress that this is no way meant to be a light-hearted view of what is undoubtedly an extremely serious social menace.

    of course.

    A friend of mine went to a works party several years ago and proceeded to get trashed on the available free booze. After grabbing several co-workers arses, several of the same sex I am reliably informed, and telling his bosses wife that she had nice tits, he ran between two cars at traffic lights. Unfortunately he was not aware that one was towing the other. A face full of tarmac ensued.
    Later, at an after-party bash he managed to lose a shoe, a shoe that he never recovered.
    Eventually he made it back to a mate's house and was deposited on the lounge floor. His mate worked early at a bakery so at an ungodly hour went downstairs to find that the drunken menace had stripped down to his underwear and, sometime during the night, had succumbed to a serious and very "voluminous and liquid" bout of Diahorrea. The bum stood up as his underwear slid down his legs with the weight of the shit. The entire living room carpet had become a mud wrestling pit, courtesy of a lot of "rolling around"..
    The exchange of words, i am told, was frank.
    A hurried clean up did not work and my friend ran away to avoid his friend's parent's wrath.
    A final insult was that he had discarded his "used" underwear and was in relatively clean clothes after a hasty shower when he hailed a cab. Unfortunately he hadn't looked in a mirror and two minutes from home realised that the inquisitive looks in the rear view mirror were at a streak of shit on his nose, this being discovered through the medium of touch. Parental embarrasment, loss of friendship and self esteem, loss of money for a demanded professional carpet clean etc followed rapidly.

  2. #2
    Atomic Punk sixstring's Avatar
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    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]


    "20 minutes (late to work)? Shit. Last year I woke up three weeks too late.
    My advice is to go for the alien abduction story. Look bemused, dishevelled and on the verge of tears as you recount your story of intrusive and degrading medical tests.
    Worked for me anyway. I still have colleagues asking me what it is like to fuck a green womanoid with seventeen breasts.
    Alternatively just walk in and inform everyone that alcoholism is indeed a disease and that they should be less judgemental and perhaps a little more supportive."
    - graeme on the addiction to this place.

    "something tells me that after the nuclear holocaust, there'll be twinkies, cockroaches, and a dave vs. sammy argument going on somewhere".
    - han valen, 6.11.04

    "in my best "saw" scary movie voice: "oh, yes, there will be beagles."
    - hatchetforce, 6.7.06

  3. #3
    Hot For Teacher Han Valen's Avatar
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    01.06.13 @ 08:51 PM
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    Quote Originally Posted by sixstring
    I was thinking the same thing sixstring!
    "The music of Van Halen is vital."-David Lee Roth-1978

    VH Shows....
    10-22-1988 - Spectrum - Philadelphia, PA
    10-15-1991 - Spectrum - Philadelphia, PA
    10-16-1991 - Spectrum - Philadelphia, PA
    04-28-1995 - Spectrum - Philadelphia, PA
    05-24-1998 - Spectrum - Philadelphia, PA
    09-09-2004 - Tampa Forum - Tampa, FL
    02-14-2008 - Amway Arena - Orlando, FL
    05-09-2008 - Boardwalk Hall - Atlantic City, NJ
    04-12-2012 - Amway Center - Orlando, FL

  4. #4
    Atomic Punk sixstring's Avatar
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    07.20.17 @ 02:42 PM
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    Listen...I'm ALL for having a good time but CHRIST!!! Never, Never, Never, not ONCE, have I come CLOSE to being that bad. That's almost impossible for me to imagine! That dude needs some help...scary!

    Again...
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]


    "20 minutes (late to work)? Shit. Last year I woke up three weeks too late.
    My advice is to go for the alien abduction story. Look bemused, dishevelled and on the verge of tears as you recount your story of intrusive and degrading medical tests.
    Worked for me anyway. I still have colleagues asking me what it is like to fuck a green womanoid with seventeen breasts.
    Alternatively just walk in and inform everyone that alcoholism is indeed a disease and that they should be less judgemental and perhaps a little more supportive."
    - graeme on the addiction to this place.

    "something tells me that after the nuclear holocaust, there'll be twinkies, cockroaches, and a dave vs. sammy argument going on somewhere".
    - han valen, 6.11.04

    "in my best "saw" scary movie voice: "oh, yes, there will be beagles."
    - hatchetforce, 6.7.06

  5. #5
    Eruption Perrott's Avatar
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    08.30.06 @ 10:32 AM
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    OUCH!

    The only one I really have is after blanking out, I woke up at 4pm the next day with blood on my shoulder, and a sock tied around my wrist. I couldnt feel my hand due to the sock, so when I look down and see blood on my shirt, I freaked! I thought I had cut off my hand in the night or something. I forgot the golden rule that night, Beer before liquor, never been sicker. 6 Molson Export, 4 jack and cokes, 4 shots of jack, and two other random shots, all running on one peice of toast [rookie mistake, I know I know.]

    After asking around, I guess when everyone was thinking about leaving the bar, I got up, walked outside, and sat in a cab, because I thought it was my car, and a family member here to pick me up. They got in the cab with me, then took me home.

    Never again. Well, till the next time.

  6. #6
    Sinner's Swing! chewbaccamonkeylunch's Avatar
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    02.16.16 @ 06:50 AM
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    sounds like he was drinking MadDog 20/20..... stuff can be painful!

    that or bombay gin. I heard that gives you the nasty shits.
    The trashman was my hero.......
    -Seenbad

  7. #7
    Atomic Punk sixstring's Avatar
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    07.20.17 @ 02:42 PM
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    Quote Originally Posted by chewbaccamonkeylunch
    sounds like he was drinking MadDog 20/20..... stuff can be painful!

    that or bombay gin. I heard that gives you the nasty shits.
    NEVER had the shits with Bombay...you tryin' to be sneaky or sumthin?
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]


    "20 minutes (late to work)? Shit. Last year I woke up three weeks too late.
    My advice is to go for the alien abduction story. Look bemused, dishevelled and on the verge of tears as you recount your story of intrusive and degrading medical tests.
    Worked for me anyway. I still have colleagues asking me what it is like to fuck a green womanoid with seventeen breasts.
    Alternatively just walk in and inform everyone that alcoholism is indeed a disease and that they should be less judgemental and perhaps a little more supportive."
    - graeme on the addiction to this place.

    "something tells me that after the nuclear holocaust, there'll be twinkies, cockroaches, and a dave vs. sammy argument going on somewhere".
    - han valen, 6.11.04

    "in my best "saw" scary movie voice: "oh, yes, there will be beagles."
    - hatchetforce, 6.7.06

  8. #8
    Hot For Teacher Han Valen's Avatar
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    01.06.13 @ 08:51 PM
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    The only times I've ever gotten sick are when I mix. I definitely don't drink like I used to (alot more health conscious now), but for some reason after 3 or 4 Captain and Coke's, I thought it was a good idea to do a few shots of absolut, and then a few shots of the Cabo!
    Next morning my head felt like this...:...my face looked like this......'cause I did too much of this...
    "The music of Van Halen is vital."-David Lee Roth-1978

    VH Shows....
    10-22-1988 - Spectrum - Philadelphia, PA
    10-15-1991 - Spectrum - Philadelphia, PA
    10-16-1991 - Spectrum - Philadelphia, PA
    04-28-1995 - Spectrum - Philadelphia, PA
    05-24-1998 - Spectrum - Philadelphia, PA
    09-09-2004 - Tampa Forum - Tampa, FL
    02-14-2008 - Amway Arena - Orlando, FL
    05-09-2008 - Boardwalk Hall - Atlantic City, NJ
    04-12-2012 - Amway Center - Orlando, FL

  9. #9
    Baluchitherium KT's Avatar
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    08.08.17 @ 07:44 PM
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    Quote Originally Posted by sixstring
    NEVER had the shits with Bombay...you tryin' to be sneaky or sumthin?

    ROFLMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Love ya', six!
    Meet me in Cabo!

  10. #10
    Atomic Punk smithjc's Avatar
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    08.04.17 @ 11:33 PM
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    Man that's one messed up story!!!!

    It was funny tho!!
    I think all I do is light up the wrong ends of cigarettes.
    RIP - Classic Van Halen

    "A lot of people take Van Halen more seriously than we do." The Diamond One



  11. #11
    Eruption Junior's Avatar
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    12.20.07 @ 05:39 PM
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    Default

    Can't top that....holy shit.

    Here's my favorite.

    I was 16 years old and in my first band. We practiced in the parents basement of the other guitar players house. They had gone out of town for the night. Our drummer had called his older brother to buy the four of us some alcohol. We were only expecting a 12 pack or something. Instead, he shows up with Goldschlager, Jack Daniels, Schnapps, a six pack and 17 Tequilla shooters. Well, not being a dumbass, I drink a beer and stop. The other guitar player (his house) drinks more booze than, to this day, I have ever seen any one person consume in such a short amount of time.

    As the night goes on he realizes that he may have overdone it. He says
    "I'm gonna....go to...bed. I feel like....shit."
    The other three of us are wathing him go upstairs. He gets 1 step away from making it up and tumbles head over ass in a fantastic display of grace and drunken stupidity. We, being good friends who only want the best for him, point and laugh our asses off. He gives us the finger tells us to fuck off. I compose myself and go to help him up, he refuses.
    "Get your hands off me! I can make it up my own fuckin' stairs!"
    Again, one step from the top and it's back down the stairs the fast way. This time he dosen't look so good.
    "Dude, get the trash can. I'm gonna throw up."
    We get the trash can and hold it in front of him as he's on his knees turning shades of green not found in nature. He then say's.......AND I QUOTE:
    NO! That's my Moms good trash can, she'll kill me."(I don't know what constitutes a good trash can but anyway)
    While on the hunt for another trash can he throws up right there at the bottom of the stairs. I guess it's OK to empty onto the carpet of the stairs, but not in the "good trash can". The other 3 of us stay up the rest of the night playing cards and smoking cigarettes. The next morning we hear
    "What the fuck? WHAT...THE...FUCK!!"
    His parents have arrived.

    His Dad having just stepped in a semi-dried puddle of his 16 year old sons vomit, isn't happy. His mother, overcome by the stench, can't even stay in the house. His little brother stands in the doorway practically jumping up and down in anticipation, and us cowering in the living room looking for a back door. His Dad comes to the living room and say's..
    "Where's Nick!?"
    "He's upstairs" I said.
    "You guys been drinking too?"
    "No."
    He smells our breath and gives us a good look over and says
    "Now would be a good time to leave."

    We left and didn't hear from Nick for over a month.

    Thanks for reading a story with no real point.

  12. #12
    Atomic Punk smithjc's Avatar
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    08.04.17 @ 11:33 PM
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    No real point but funny story Junior!!!
    RIP - Classic Van Halen

    "A lot of people take Van Halen more seriously than we do." The Diamond One



  13. #13
    PM Goo with your concerns OLO's Avatar
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    12.12.17 @ 10:08 PM
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    Default

    As a recovering Alcholic I have many many many storys. The best one didnt happen to me but to my cousin who was my roommate at the time.

    He had gone out with some friends to a bachelor party and drank (SP)Yegermister all night long. I was awoke at 5:00AM by the ring ring of the phone. He was in Bellevue at a Denny's and needed me to come get him. I asked were is your car?? He had just purchased a new Mustang and it was his baby. He said he didnt know were his car was, he started to cry and said he REALLY need me to come HELLLLP him. I got into my car and drove 25 Minutes to Bellevue. As I pulled intot he parking lot of the Denny's I see my cousin and he looks horrible, I thought he had been mugged!! He was missing a shoe and was having trouble walking. I had to help him into my car, smelled of piss and barf, his hair was all matted up - He was a fucking mess!!
    When I asked him what the hell was going on, he said I dont know. He was at some club drinking, dancing etc etc when the lights went out, the next thing he remembered was waking up at the Sears in Bellevue. He could not stand up and was barfing on the sidewalk, he was so desperate at one point he was going to break a display window at Sears in hopes that the cops would come and help him. He thought his best chance was to get some what upright and fling himself into the large glass window in hopes of breaking it. All that happened was he bounced off the window and landed flat on his back, he gave himself a really nice shinner and bruised the left side of his face at the same time.

    He blacked out again and awoke about sun up, he had to pee so bad that he zipped his pants down and pissed while laying on the Sears sidewalk. The biggest problem was the sidewalk slanted back towards him, all of his urine mearly washed right back onto him!!! He was finally able to get upright a decided to try to make it to Denny's for help. When he walked into the Dennys they asked if he needed medical attention, he said no just a quarter for the phone. Turns out he was tripping hard and thought he had beat his girlfriend up in the club that night, he stayed in his room all day expecting the cops to come get him. He came and asked me to call his girlfreind to make sure she was ok. I called a few times and but she never ansewred the phone. She came by later that night, she said she didnt even see he the night before.

    I dont think he drank for atleast six months after this party.
    ((Just My Two Cents))
    And thats about what its worth.

  14. #14
    Atomic Punk LLFHS's Avatar
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    07.30.17 @ 08:59 PM
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    Kind of a sad tale OLO, but I cannot stop laughing at the vision of this utterly marinated individual flinging himself at a window and then bouncing off. LOL!!
    LowLifeFlatHeadScum

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    Your Hacked Nude Photo Here!

  15. #15
    Hang 'Em High janthraxx's Avatar
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    11.18.14 @ 07:57 PM
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    Last Friday I had a party at my apartment and I had just seen Judas Priest so I was really pumped up and I hadn't drank heavily in like 4-5 months but me and my buddy polished off 3/4 a bottle of brandy. We proceeded to totally trash my apartment like we were Zep or Halen or something, breaking or damaging several of my roommate's things, including a wooden bulletin board, a computer monitor box that he needed, some kind of a flotation device, and the light fixture in the kitchen

    hemingway and OLO, those stories are pretty fucked up but funny, LOL!
    Last edited by janthraxx; 07.16.05 at 10:58 AM.
    "Suck a fat one, faggot."
    -MikeL, showing off that sharp wit of his.

    "You may recognize some of these chemicals. Let's start with cyanide...The one the Aum Shinrikyo cult attempted to use to commit mass murder in a Tokyo subway in May 1995...The same cyanide produced routinely--1.4 million tons per year--for use in the production of plastics, adhesives, cosmetics, pharmaceuticals, and so on. It seems that those who put small amounts of cyanide in subways are terrorists. But those who produce it in mass quantities and contaminate broad reaches of soil, water, and air, killing countless living beings, are not terrorists, but rather capitalists, and are counted among the finest and most powerful people on the planet."

    -Derrick Jensen, "What We Leave Behind"

    "You know what's weird to me is Christians who are against the death penalty. After all, if it weren't for the death penalty, we wouldn't celebrate Easter!"

    -the late, great, Bill Hicks

 

 

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