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View Poll Results: Who do I side with

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17. You may not vote on this poll
  • my best friend

    15 88.24%
  • my girlfriend

    2 11.76%
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  1. #1
    Eruption Jizzo's Avatar
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    01.25.09 @ 07:22 PM
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    Default I need relationship advice

    So I just began dating this girl that I work with. Everything is great. Since dating at work is kinda frowned upon, not illegal but you know they'd prefer it didn't happen we agreed to keep it on the downlow for the time being. Out of the 120 people we work with only 12 know, and only 5 of them are completely aware, the other 7 just assume.

    So I told one of my friends who doesn't work with us about it and she told another of her friends (who does work with us), who just happens to be my best friend about it, yes I was gonna tell her about it, i just felt that it wouldn't be just to do it in any other way but in person. so she came in today to see me today while i was on my lunch just chillen with my new girlfriend in her department of the store. So being that she happens to be my best friend i end up excusing myself so i can go clock back in from lunch and chat with her about the fact i have a new girlfriend.

    So a little later I find my way back to my girlfriends department, and she's mad that I told another co-worker about the fact we are going out. I try and defend myself saying, she's my bestfriend, I've known her for years, she needs to know. Then my girlfriend comes out and is like you can so tell she has a crush on you, i could see it just by the way she was looking at you right now.

    So my problem is this, how can I explain that, that path has been traveled and that if she really did have a crush on me i'd probably have been dating her for years by now. I know for a fact she doesn't have a crush on me, but how can I explain it without saying how I know that.

    And how do i explain the fact that being that she is my best friend that I still plan to talk to her as much as I currently do and hang out with her, no matter what my relationship status is
    "I'm late to everything. I've always wanted to have it written in my will that when I die, the coffin shows up a half hour late and says on the side, like in gold, 'Sorry I'm Late'." - Axl Rose

    Can You Feel It, See It, Hear It Today
    If You Can't, Then It Doesn't Matter Anyway

  2. #2
    Atomic Punk fast98dodge's Avatar
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    08.07.17 @ 08:14 PM
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    The only thing that crosses my mind is maybe you should settle all this nonsense with a threesome!
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  3. #3
    Good Enough VivaVH's Avatar
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    04.02.15 @ 09:23 AM
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    First, since your girlfriend is mad that a co-worker knows about the relationship, make sure you tell your best friend to keep it on the DL just like you and your girlfriend are doing. Then, once that is taken care of, tell your girlfriend she has nothing to worry about as far as word getting out further goes, because your best friend will keep it confidential.

    As far as your best friend's "crush" on you goes, this is very complex. First off, your girlfriend is going to have to accept the fact that your best friend is your best friend. The most vital aspect to a relationship is trust, and without that the relationship will go nowhere. I'm not trying to sound like a pessimist here, but if your relationship just recently started and your girlfriend is already doubting your faithfulness to her, there are going to be mega problems along the way.

    You might have to approach this in a very direct way. If your girlfriend is not going to take your word for it, tell your best friend about your girlfriend's worries. Then, maybe the three of you can sit down and talk about it, and your friend can reassure her that there is nothing between the two of you. If your girlfriend still doesn't buy it, she obviously still has some maturing to do when it comes to dating, because she should know that adult relationships require trust. If this is the case, and she does not believe you after the three of you discuss it, it's your call as to what you do next.

    Good luck. Hope this helps somewhat.
    If it's BROWN, flush it DOWN.

    GO STEELERS!

  4. #4
    Sinner's Swing! VH122's Avatar
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    12.10.17 @ 12:18 PM
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    Abandon Ship!

    Dump the nut case girlfriend you have.
    Hurry,before it's to late!

  5. #5
    Hot sauce on everything Red's Avatar
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    12.06.17 @ 06:36 AM
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    Retail relationships are tough. Gossip and speculation usually spoil all the fun.

    Honestly, though, this is a really bad sign of what may lie ahead with the girlfriend, and it could mean several things. Possibly, she's the jealous type. Possibly, she finds trouble where none exists. And possibly, she just likes drama.

    Rule of thumb: don't get your honey where you get your money. It rarely works, and you can rest assured that things you wouldn't want people to know about will be public knowledge....you'll just be the last to know.

    However, there are exceptions to every rule.

    I'm positive that my observations and experiences won't help at all. I could be wrong, though.

    Cheers!!! And welcome to the gloriously booby-trapped world of that which could be a huge mistake, or the best thing that ever happened to ya.

    Remember...discretion rules. It minimizes these types of issues. Just know that all you'll ever really be able to control is what comes out of your mouth.

    Sorry if this sounds cold and matter-of-fact, and I hope things work out for you.

  6. #6
    Good Enough Ace Ventura's Avatar
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    01.01.13 @ 04:06 PM
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    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by VH122
    Dump the nut case girlfriend you have.
    Hurry,before it's to late!
    More brilliant advice from the master of what women want...

    I would say stick to your guns, man. Your best friend will always be just that no matter what happens in your life. If the new g/f is as great as you think she is, she will understand and adapt to what you bring to the table.
    "It doesn't mean that much to me to mean that much to you..." -Neil Young

    "The sun's not yellow, it's chicken." -Bob Dylan

    "If you go out and buy a Van Halen record and put it in your collection, it'll melt your other records." -David Lee Roth, 1981.

    Guy of Gisborne: Why a spoon, cousin? Why not an axe?
    Sheriff of Nottingham: Because it's DULL, you twit!!! It'll HURT MORE!!!

  7. #7
    Eruption Icecream-man's Avatar
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    12.11.17 @ 03:15 AM
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    Default

    I have to agree with VH122 and VivaVH...if this chick is already playing the freaking jealousy card she's got some major issues...and its going to take a long time and a lot of effort to change that in her and you have to think to yourself is it really worth it...she might be the greatest girl in the freaking world when you are together...but if she is always casting a suspicious eye when you go out with your friends the tension and turmoil just might not be worth it...as i told Ace V yesterday on another thread there are plenty of awesome-o broads out there for you and all of us...its the fucking moniker of the millenium man...Don't Settle...Keep Your Options Open...find yourself someone that can truly trust you...that does not get jealous when you go out with your friends etc...it may seem crazy but those kind of girls do exist and when you find her you won't be coming on this board asking relationship advice because you will already know the answers to all your questions

    Good Luck jizzo...remember your young/dumb/and full of cum my friend go out there and have a good time
    Kosovo Je Srbija

  8. #8
    Atomic Punk LLFHS's Avatar
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    07.30.17 @ 08:59 PM
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    Quote Originally Posted by Icecream-man
    I have to agree with VH122 and VivaVH...if this chick is already playing the freaking jealousy card she's got some major issues...and its going to take a long time and a lot of effort to change that in her and you have to think to yourself is it really worth it...
    I agree with everything stated here except the part about changing her. That you will never, ever do. Best to just move on while it is still relatively painless.
    LowLifeFlatHeadScum

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  9. #9
    Good Enough
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    12.10.17 @ 12:26 PM
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    Quote Originally Posted by fast98dodge
    The only thing that crosses my mind is maybe you should settle all this nonsense with a threesome!
    I agree, threesome is defiantely the answer....If she doesn't go for it, send her packing. Life's to short, my friend!

  10. #10
    Good Enough
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    12.10.17 @ 12:26 PM
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    On second thought, just see if she would rather be your fuck buddy instead of a full blown girlfriend. It takes all the pressure off (in more ways than one) and you still get the pussy. You're to young to be fretting over this jealousy shit anyway.....

  11. #11
    Atomic Punk Viking's Avatar
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    11.02.17 @ 09:45 PM
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    Default

    My thoughts: There is no way in hell you could keep this thing secret in a place like that. You could crack off a big fart, and by the time it gets to the other side of the office/building, you shit your pants and had to go home and change. You said approx. 12 people somewhat knew about this? I'll guarantee that that number will be tenfold by the middle of next week. Trust me, I know. There are probably people at this moment talking about you and her getting married already.
    "Viking - last to sleep, first to rise, last to leave, that's how the Nords of old rocked the house." ~ timmac in the 'Texas Linkers' thread talking about yours truly. :-)

  12. #12
    Eruption Jizzo's Avatar
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    01.25.09 @ 07:22 PM
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    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Viking
    My thoughts: There is no way in hell you could keep this thing secret in a place like that. You could crack off a big fart, and by the time it gets to the other side of the office/building, you shit your pants and had to go home and change. You said approx. 12 people somewhat knew about this? I'll guarantee that that number will be tenfold by the middle of next week. Trust me, I know. There are probably people at this moment talking about you and her getting married already.
    lol, too true
    "I'm late to everything. I've always wanted to have it written in my will that when I die, the coffin shows up a half hour late and says on the side, like in gold, 'Sorry I'm Late'." - Axl Rose

    Can You Feel It, See It, Hear It Today
    If You Can't, Then It Doesn't Matter Anyway

  13. #13
    Good Enough ebmm_axis's Avatar
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    07.17.17 @ 12:03 PM
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    Quote Originally Posted by VivaVH
    First, since your girlfriend is mad that a co-worker knows about the relationship, make sure you tell your best friend to keep it on the DL just like you and your girlfriend are doing. Then, once that is taken care of, tell your girlfriend she has nothing to worry about as far as word getting out further goes, because your best friend will keep it confidential.

    As far as your best friend's "crush" on you goes, this is very complex. First off, your girlfriend is going to have to accept the fact that your best friend is your best friend. The most vital aspect to a relationship is trust, and without that the relationship will go nowhere. I'm not trying to sound like a pessimist here, but if your relationship just recently started and your girlfriend is already doubting your faithfulness to her, there are going to be mega problems along the way.

    You might have to approach this in a very direct way. If your girlfriend is not going to take your word for it, tell your best friend about your girlfriend's worries. Then, maybe the three of you can sit down and talk about it, and your friend can reassure her that there is nothing between the two of you. If your girlfriend still doesn't buy it, she obviously still has some maturing to do when it comes to dating, because she should know that adult relationships require trust. If this is the case, and she does not believe you after the three of you discuss it, it's your call as to what you do next.

    Good luck. Hope this helps somewhat.
    Who's who in this story? I agree with a previous post... Just to a menage.
    You can lead a horse to water, but that still won't make him a duck!

  14. #14
    Eruption Junior's Avatar
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    12.20.07 @ 05:39 PM
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    Default

    Tell your girlfirend straight up...

    "First off, she does not have a crush on me. Second, as long as I don't have one on her, why should you give a shit?"

    "Why is this even an issue? I'm sure there aer plenty of guys that are interested in you but you don't see me worried about it. NO! Why? Because I know you wouldn't cheat on me (who cares if it's true or not) just like I wouldn't cheat on you with her or anyone else for that matter. You're the one I want to be with. Period. She's a good friend of mine (DO NOT SAY BEST FRIEND!!) and that's it. If this is going to be a problem, tell me what you would like me to do to make you feel better about it.

    Then comprimise.

    Crisis averted leaving you ready to wrangle that 3 way.

  15. #15
    Sinner's Swing! racefan8's Avatar
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    04.01.11 @ 07:59 PM
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    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by fast98dodge
    The only thing that crosses my mind is maybe you should settle all this nonsense with a threesome!
    Class perv


    Two cents: Jealousy is and always will be a relationship killer. NEVER settle for that. Also, do not believe you can change a person - they can only change themselves.

    Stick with the best friend. This is not a fiance you're talking about. There will be other chicks.
    Stupid is forever, ignorance can be fixed.
    False words are not only evil in themselves, but they infect the soul with evil.
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    The stupid neither forgive nor forget; the naive forgive and forget; the wise forgive but do not forget.
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