Follow us on...
Follow us on Twitter Follow us on Facebook Watch us on YouTube
Register
Page 1 of 5 1234 ... LastLast
Results 1 to 15 of 72
  1. #1
    Good Enough Ace Ventura's Avatar
    Join Date
    01.07.04
    Age
    47
    Location
    New Hampshire
    Posts
    2,013
    Favorite VH Album

    Fair Warning
    Favorite VH Song

    So this is love?
    Last Online

    01.01.13 @ 04:06 PM
    Likes
    0
    Liked 1 Time in 1 Post

    Default Questions about Love vs. friendship....

    Hey all....

    I have a bit of a situation here and was hoping someone can point me in the right direction.

    I have been friends with this absolutely amazing woman since we were in high school. We were close then and lost touch for a bit when we graduated. After a few years and divorces for both of us, we had a reunion of sorts and have been very close. Here's the problem: I think I'm falling in love with her. She has everything that a man could possibly ask for. Sparkling personality, incredible looks, extremely intelligent and actually has her shit together. We always laugh when we talk and can be on the phone for hours without running out of things to say. Our personalities are almost identical.

    What do I do? I don't want to run the risk of losing her as a friend if I "make the move" but I really think I'm in love with her. Is this another case of "guys can't REALLY be friends with women?" I really would appreciate any advice. Every ounce of me is aching for this woman.....
    "It doesn't mean that much to me to mean that much to you..." -Neil Young

    "The sun's not yellow, it's chicken." -Bob Dylan

    "If you go out and buy a Van Halen record and put it in your collection, it'll melt your other records." -David Lee Roth, 1981.

    Guy of Gisborne: Why a spoon, cousin? Why not an axe?
    Sheriff of Nottingham: Because it's DULL, you twit!!! It'll HURT MORE!!!

  2. #2
    Atomic Punk MikeL's Avatar
    Join Date
    02.17.00
    Posts
    11,536
    Last Online

    03.03.15 @ 08:31 PM
    Likes
    0
    Liked 2 Times in 1 Post


    Donor

    Default

    Talk with her about it. That'll give you clarity that you'll never find here or just mulling it over in your head.

  3. #3
    Sinner's Swing! VH122's Avatar
    Join Date
    01.03.05
    Age
    47
    Location
    Motor City
    Posts
    3,926
    Favorite VH Album

    5150
    Favorite VH Song

    Poundcake
    Last Online

    12.15.17 @ 05:13 PM
    Likes
    808
    Liked 305 Times in 225 Posts

    You should make your move using the red light green light method.
    Leave the talking bullshit where it belongs.(With her mother.)

  4. #4
    Eruption Icecream-man's Avatar
    Join Date
    10.05.99
    Age
    37
    Location
    Cleveland, Ohio, USA
    Posts
    884
    Favorite VH Album

    Fair Warning
    Favorite VH Song

    Big Trouble
    Last Online

    12.17.17 @ 07:44 AM
    Likes
    115
    Liked 111 Times in 54 Posts

    Default

    When in doubt whip it out...and ask "You in or you out baby?"...No just kidding...

    Its a tough situation because just like when your feeding a small animal you want it to come to you so you can't make any sudden, fast, and animated movements...

    Best thing to do is ask her out for drinks or dinner or both...nothing too extravagant..you know...don't go to a 5-Star restaurant that Mario Betali is cooking at...but don't shintz on it either by taking her to Applebees/Chilis/Fridays/Houlahans...you know those chain restaurants that are a 1/2 notch above fast food places...sushi bars are always good places for dates

    Since you said you have great conversations thats perfect...Now once you guys have some drinks in you...not too many but just enough to give you some bravado...be truthful...tell her straight out how you feel...trust me it will be a huge load off your back and you can find out if you are wasting your time waiting for someone who is not interested in you...when a stud-muffin like yourself could be out there breakin' hearts all over the "Live Free or Die" state...
    Kosovo Je Srbija

  5. #5
    Hot sauce on everything Red's Avatar
    Join Date
    08.07.03
    Age
    47
    Location
    North Carolina
    Posts
    5,864
    Favorite VH Album

    Fair Warning
    Favorite VH Song

    Hear About It Later
    Last Online

    12.06.17 @ 06:36 AM
    Likes
    304
    Liked 119 Times in 56 Posts


    Premium Member

    Donor

    Default

    I rather enjoy Chili's, myself.


    Ace, I'm thinking if you folks are truly talking for hours at a time on the phone, she's interested.

    You're just trying to avoid that emotional shrinkage that comes when a man's advances are spurned. That's where your own bravado comes into play.

    Ask yourself, what would Teddy Roosevelt do? What would George S. Bygod Patton do, soldier? What would Lee Marvin do? Why, they'd charge that hill, just like Matthew Broderick in "Glory", that's what they'd do!

    Simply stated, you won't know until you "go". So go!!! And then you'll know!!!

    As TV fitness product visionary Tony Little says on the Gecko commercial, "Yeah, baby!!! You can do it!!!"
    Last edited by Red; 07.13.05 at 06:38 AM.

  6. #6
    Good Enough ZORBA5150's Avatar
    Join Date
    02.04.04
    Age
    42
    Location
    New Jersey
    Posts
    2,503
    Favorite VH Album

    All of them
    Favorite VH Song

    Unchained
    Last Online

    12.17.17 @ 01:07 PM
    Likes
    0
    Liked 33 Times in 13 Posts

    Default

    Well, it sucks to be stuck in the "friend zone" with a girl that you like. I've been there. If she doesn't feel the same way, the friendship could be over, or it could stay the same, depending on how mature the both of you are. But I would just tell her how you feel. Even if you get rejected, you'll feel better for getting it off your chest. And yes,you can be friends with a girl, just not best friends. Also, I think there is always some kind of romantic attraction between friends of the opposite sex, no matter how faint. It's just that people refuse to acknowledge it- that's my personal opinion.

  7. #7
    Atomic Punk jrk5150's Avatar
    Join Date
    12.12.01
    Age
    48
    Location
    Massachusetts by way of the Great State of New Jersey
    Posts
    7,748
    Favorite VH Album

    5150
    Favorite VH Song

    Changes with the day
    Last Online

    12.17.17 @ 02:19 PM
    Likes
    30
    Liked 548 Times in 329 Posts


    Premium Member

    Donor

    Default

    Go for it. Two of the best relationships in my life were with my "best friend" and taking it to the next level. And a couple of my biggest regrets are not pursuing situations because of "friendship".

    Not sure if I'll say this right, but if you tell her, and she doesn't feel the same way, one of two things will happen. Either it'll be too wierd and you two will lose that closeness, or you'll friendship will continue without much of a blip. Obviously, no problem with #2. However, and this is where I'm not sure I'll say this right, if you two were going to stay friends long term, then even if #1 happens, you'll reconnect after a while. If your friendship isn't strong enough to ultimately overcome the disconnect (after a period of time), then it wouldn't have lasted anyway, therefore what's the point of denying yourself this chance to be happy for a friendship that wouldn't have lasted anyway.

    Does that make sense?

  8. #8
    Sinner's Swing! VH122's Avatar
    Join Date
    01.03.05
    Age
    47
    Location
    Motor City
    Posts
    3,926
    Favorite VH Album

    5150
    Favorite VH Song

    Poundcake
    Last Online

    12.15.17 @ 05:13 PM
    Likes
    808
    Liked 305 Times in 225 Posts

    Put her in check!

    If she backs down when you make your move,that's when you explain to her about how you feel.
    The talking part in your relationship has already been established,now is the time to make your move.Finish the game before someone else does,hurry!

  9. #9
    Atomic Punk
    Join Date
    11.12.03
    Posts
    17,322
    Favorite VH Album

    1978-1996
    Favorite VH Song

    1978-1996
    Last Online

    12.23.16 @ 10:32 AM
    Likes
    4,364
    Liked 2,068 Times in 1,102 Posts


    Donor

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by IED
    Go for it. Two of the best relationships in my life were with my "best friend" and taking it to the next level. And a couple of my biggest regrets are not pursuing situations because of "friendship".

    Not sure if I'll say this right, but if you tell her, and she doesn't feel the same way, one of two things will happen. Either it'll be too wierd and you two will lose that closeness, or you'll friendship will continue without much of a blip. Obviously, no problem with #2. However, and this is where I'm not sure I'll say this right, if you two were going to stay friends long term, then even if #1 happens, you'll reconnect after a while. If your friendship isn't strong enough to ultimately overcome the disconnect (after a period of time), then it wouldn't have lasted anyway, therefore what's the point of denying yourself this chance to be happy for a friendship that wouldn't have lasted anyway.

    Does that make sense?
    That about sums it up Great post my man.

    Just one thing, when you "make you move" do it by talking to her and letting her know your feelings, do NOT do it physically

  10. #10
    Good Enough Ace Ventura's Avatar
    Join Date
    01.07.04
    Age
    47
    Location
    New Hampshire
    Posts
    2,013
    Favorite VH Album

    Fair Warning
    Favorite VH Song

    So this is love?
    Last Online

    01.01.13 @ 04:06 PM
    Likes
    0
    Liked 1 Time in 1 Post

    Default

    Wow...Thanks for all the advice!

    I honestly think she's having the same feelings. She's dropped a few little hints over the past couple of weeks. I normally have a pretty good sense of intuition and it's telling me this is going to happen. I honestly think I am meant to be with her and her with me. I really do thank those of you who replied.

    I'm going to set it up for one night this week, (not Applebee's ). We have this cool little place we like to go and have dinner every once in a while. I'm just going to spill my guts to her and profess my love. I guess the worst that can happen is she says "not interested". I'm just terrified about losing her as a friend...



    Quote Originally Posted by Icecream-man
    ...when a stud-muffin like yourself could be out there breakin' hearts all over the "Live Free or Die" state...
    Aww, shucks Icecream... LOL!
    "It doesn't mean that much to me to mean that much to you..." -Neil Young

    "The sun's not yellow, it's chicken." -Bob Dylan

    "If you go out and buy a Van Halen record and put it in your collection, it'll melt your other records." -David Lee Roth, 1981.

    Guy of Gisborne: Why a spoon, cousin? Why not an axe?
    Sheriff of Nottingham: Because it's DULL, you twit!!! It'll HURT MORE!!!

  11. #11
    Atomic Punk
    Join Date
    11.12.03
    Posts
    17,322
    Favorite VH Album

    1978-1996
    Favorite VH Song

    1978-1996
    Last Online

    12.23.16 @ 10:32 AM
    Likes
    4,364
    Liked 2,068 Times in 1,102 Posts


    Donor

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Ace Ventura
    I guess the worst that can happen is she says "not interested". I'm just terrified about losing her as a friend...

    If it's meant to be, it will happen.... good or bad. I was friends with a girl for about 3 years and it grew to the point where you are at now......I was in the same dilemma, afraid to tell her my true feelings, afraid to lose her as a friend
    It's a tough situation, but I followed my heart and told her how I felt.........

    We've been together since 1996 and married since 2001
    Last edited by Greenpaw; 07.13.05 at 08:26 AM.

  12. #12
    Good Enough Ace Ventura's Avatar
    Join Date
    01.07.04
    Age
    47
    Location
    New Hampshire
    Posts
    2,013
    Favorite VH Album

    Fair Warning
    Favorite VH Song

    So this is love?
    Last Online

    01.01.13 @ 04:06 PM
    Likes
    0
    Liked 1 Time in 1 Post

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Greenpaw
    If it's meant to be, it will happen.... good or bad. I was friends with a girl for about 3 years and it grew to the point where you are at now......I was in the same dilemma, afraid to tell her my true feelings, afraid to lose her as a friend
    It's a tough situation, but I followed my heart and told her how I felt.........

    We've been together since 1996 and married since 2001
    That just put a HUGE smile on my face!

    Thanks, paw!!!
    "It doesn't mean that much to me to mean that much to you..." -Neil Young

    "The sun's not yellow, it's chicken." -Bob Dylan

    "If you go out and buy a Van Halen record and put it in your collection, it'll melt your other records." -David Lee Roth, 1981.

    Guy of Gisborne: Why a spoon, cousin? Why not an axe?
    Sheriff of Nottingham: Because it's DULL, you twit!!! It'll HURT MORE!!!

  13. #13
    Hang 'Em High perticelli's Avatar
    Join Date
    02.07.03
    Age
    52
    Posts
    6,658
    Favorite VH Album

    fair warning, women & children
    Favorite VH Song

    unchained,take your whiskey
    Last Online

    11.30.15 @ 02:22 PM
    Likes
    0
    Liked 14 Times in 8 Posts


    Donor

    Default

    also, to add my 2 cents, if you are truly falling in love with her, you have no other option but to follow it. if you dont, you wont be real with her and the relationship wont grow anyways. and if she isnt interested, which im sure she is interested, you have to find out because you cant go back from love to like..

    and i believe the best,strongest and most fulfilling romances/relationships start as friendships! mine has lasted 23 yrs so far!!

    i cant wait til you tell her how you feel and the feeling you get when she returns the feeling!

    i would suggest one thing though..i would avoid using the word "LOVE" right out of the gate...i would say "you are beginning to really have feelings for her that go beyond the typical friendship thing..and ask how that makes her feel" and smile warmly and look her in the eyes when you do, shut your hole and wait for her to respond...

    god luck pal, nice days ahead for you two!!
    Eddie is the greatest, period

    The Unofficial VHLinks RRHOF

    SkyyeFM-Radio without the Rules(Webpage)

  14. #14
    Sinner's Swing! VH122's Avatar
    Join Date
    01.03.05
    Age
    47
    Location
    Motor City
    Posts
    3,926
    Favorite VH Album

    5150
    Favorite VH Song

    Poundcake
    Last Online

    12.15.17 @ 05:13 PM
    Likes
    808
    Liked 305 Times in 225 Posts

    They might be right,hmmmmm?

    Quote Originally Posted by Ace Ventura
    That just put a HUGE smile on my face!

    Thanks, paw!!!
    Some girls are attracted to the feminine type males.

  15. #15
    Good Enough Ace Ventura's Avatar
    Join Date
    01.07.04
    Age
    47
    Location
    New Hampshire
    Posts
    2,013
    Favorite VH Album

    Fair Warning
    Favorite VH Song

    So this is love?
    Last Online

    01.01.13 @ 04:06 PM
    Likes
    0
    Liked 1 Time in 1 Post

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by VH122
    Some girls are attracted to the feminine type males.
    You're funny.....

    The smile was that of being inspired by someone who can relate to my situation.
    "It doesn't mean that much to me to mean that much to you..." -Neil Young

    "The sun's not yellow, it's chicken." -Bob Dylan

    "If you go out and buy a Van Halen record and put it in your collection, it'll melt your other records." -David Lee Roth, 1981.

    Guy of Gisborne: Why a spoon, cousin? Why not an axe?
    Sheriff of Nottingham: Because it's DULL, you twit!!! It'll HURT MORE!!!

 

 

Similar Threads

  1. 2 questions
    By Chicoutimi CP in forum VH Songs/Albums/Videos
    Replies: 17
    Last Post: 09.11.06, 05:39 AM
  2. A Friendship Chain E-mail We Can Appreciate
    By Buckeye in forum VH Fans Meeting Place (Non-Music)
    Replies: 4
    Last Post: 05.26.06, 04:21 PM
  3. When It's Love VS. Love Walks In
    By Hulk5150 in forum VH Songs/Albums/Videos
    Replies: 13
    Last Post: 03.08.05, 03:49 PM
  4. 20 questions with...
    By Mr. Shikadance in forum Main VH Discussion
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: 03.04.03, 12:43 PM
  5. Feel Your Love Tonight vs. So This Is Love?
    By Dan Halen in forum VH Songs/Albums/Videos
    Replies: 18
    Last Post: 04.04.01, 07:28 AM

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •