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  1. #1
    On Fire EVH Army's Avatar
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    Default Chances are you're a Gothic person if:

    This is a E-Mail that's going around. I'm not sure weather this is real or not but it made me laugh:

    If Your Child is a Gothic, Reform Through the Lord!
    Listed below are some warning signs to indicate if your child may have gone astray from the Lord.

    Gothic (or goth) is a very obscure and often dangerous culture that young teenagers are prone to participating in. The gothic culture leads young, susceptible minds into an imagined world of evil, darkness, and violence. Please seek immediate attention through counseling, prayer, and parental guidance to rid your child of Satan’s temptations if five or more of the following are applicable to your child:

    Frequently wears black clothing.
    Wears band and/or rock t-shirts.
    Wears excessive black eye makeup, lipstick or nail polish.
    Wears any odd, silver jewelry or symbols. Some of these include: reversed crosses, pentagrams, pentacles, ankhs or various other Satanic worshiping symbols.
    Shows an interest in piercings or tattoos.
    Listens to gothic or any other anti-social genres of music. (Marilyn Manson claims to be the anti-Christ, and publicly speaks against the Lord. Please discard any such albums IMMEDIATELY.)
    associates with other people that dress, act or speak eccentrically.
    Shows a declining interest in wholesome activities, such as: the Bible, prayer, church or sports.
    Shows an increasing interest in death, vampires, magic, the occult, witchcraft or anything else that involves Satan.
    Takes drugs.
    Drinks alcohol.
    Is suicidal and/or depressed.
    Cuts, burns or partakes in any other method of self-mutilation. (This is a Satanic ritual that uses pain to detract from the light of God and His love. Please seek immediate attention for this at your local mental health center.)
    Complains of boredom.
    Sleeps too excessively or too little.
    Is excessively awake during the night.
    Dislikes sunlight or any other form of light. (This pertains to vampires promoting the idea that His light is of no use.)
    Demands an unusual amount of privacy.
    Spends large amounts of time alone.
    Requests time alone and quietness. (This is so that your child may speak to evil spirits through meditation.)
    Insists on spending time with friends while unaccompanied by an adult.
    Disregards authority figures; teachers, priests, nuns and elders are but a few examples of this.
    Misbehaves at school.
    Misbehaves at home.
    Eats excessively or too little.
    Eats goth-related foods. Count Dracula cereal is an example of this.
    Drinks blood or expresses an interest in drinking blood. (Vampires believe this is how to attain Satan. This act is very dangerous and should be stopped immediately.)
    Watches cable television or any other corrupted media sources. (Ask your local church for proper programs that your child may watch.)
    Plays videos games that contains violence or role-playing nature.
    Uses the internet excessively and frequently makes time for the computer.
    Makes Satanic symbols and/or violently shakes head to music.
    Dances to music in a provocative or sexual manner.
    Is homosexual and/or bisexual.
    Pursues dangerous cult religions. Such include: Satanism, Scientology, Philosophy, Paganism, Wicca, Hinduism and Buddhism.
    Wears pins, stickers or anything else that contains these various phrases: “I’m so gothic, I’m dead”, “woe is me”, “I’m a goth”.
    Claims to be a goth.
    If five or more of these apply to your child, please intervene immediately. The gothic culture is dangerous and Satan thrives within it. If any of these problems persist, enlist your child into your local mental health center.

    ~ St. Mary’s Catholic Church
    So obviously I'm Gothic for wearing black clothing, including shirts with band logos. And of course they are as well sinse wine has alcohal, wine being of course, what Jesus turned water into, making Jesus sound Satanic. I'm a Devil Worshipper for being bored and for either not not sleeping enough or too much, a fucking cereal that I ate once makes me a Anyi-Christ. I know a Christian channel that is a cable only so I guess Christians are Satanic as well. Oooooooooh, I'm evil for playing Halo. Sue me. And the person who made this(if this is a serious E-mail) is a Gothic person himself sinse the Internet, an E-Mail no less, is Satanic. And excuse me for headbanging to Van Halen. I don't dance but if I was to do the moonwalk will I become an evil fucked-up-in-the-head guy whose looks like a woman with my nose falling off? "Pursues dangerous cult religions. Such include: Buddhism"? Oh yes, Buddhism, a pieceful Religon is Satanic. Oh, and no shit if they claim to be Goth.
    "I am the party" ~David Lee Roth

    Quote Originally Posted by Elwood P.
    Uhura: Mr. Spock, what happened?
    Spock: The occipital area of my head seems to have impacted with the arm of the chair.

  2. #2
    Eruption Infinite Cactus's Avatar
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    Premium Member

    Default

    Is it 1962?
    That list made me laugh.
    Van Halen Reunion Tour
    Louisville, Kentucky July 6th, 2004
    "It's a little hot in here tonight!"


    Van Halen 2012 Tour
    Louisville, Kentucky February 28th, 2012

    Van Halen 2015 Tour
    Noblesville, Indiana September 2nd 2015

    Assistant Director of Personnel
    The 3 Brigade

  3. #3
    Baluchitherium sisca's Avatar
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    06.12.16 @ 07:51 PM
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    UH OH. I drink, stay out late, wear band/black shirts, known to wear a pentagram or two, have a few piercings, like mosh pits, listen to bands like the cure, siouxsie and the banshees, sisters of mercy,etc.....Guess I'm a devil worshipper now.
    """"\//-/""""


    The Marines I have seen around the world have the cleanest bodies, the filthiest minds, the highest morale, and the lowest morals of any group of animals I have ever seen. Thank God for the United States Marine Corps!


    www.myspace.com/mikesisca

    "If ladies want Valentines Day so bad either make Superbowl Sunday an actual holiday or give guys Steak and Blowjob Day and we'll call it even." T.RYAN, sharing thoughts on valentine's day.

    " SHUT UP, FAGGOT." - Vinnie Velvet, showing off that sharp wit of his.

    DIRTY SANCHEZ- It's not just for breakfast anymore!



    Originally posted by FORD
    History tells us that oppressive nations build walls to keep people IN, not out.
    (See "Berlin Wall" and "Likud Israel" for examples) FORD- when i told him i'd build a wall between the US and Mexico.

    then ill build it from the mexican side. -my reply.

  4. #4
    On Fire EVH Army's Avatar
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    Default

    I think it's 1962, just seven more years until Woodstock.
    "I am the party" ~David Lee Roth

    Quote Originally Posted by Elwood P.
    Uhura: Mr. Spock, what happened?
    Spock: The occipital area of my head seems to have impacted with the arm of the chair.

  5. #5
    Good Enough evhslilhottie's Avatar
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    01.13.07 @ 11:34 AM
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    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by sisca
    UH OH. I drink, stay out late, wear band/black shirts, known to wear a pentagram or two, have a few piercings, like mosh pits, listen to bands like the cure, siouxsie and the banshees, sisters of mercy,etc.....Guess I'm a devil worshipper now.
    Hey, me too! Let's go up on a graveyard and cry together!!!!
    So you broke down, trying to leave town, I broke down crying on your return. You left me feeling hopeful, I'll never see your face again. You made for a bad lover's liver. You stole all the covers and busted my head. You made me such an asshole, I wish we'd never met. I'm tired of being bored. I'm through with the headaches. Hiding my hands that tremble like earthquakes. Under the table, under the daytime sky, Good Fucking Bye- Good Fucking Bye, Alkaline Trio

  6. #6
    Atomic Punk onefootoutthedoor's Avatar
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    07.24.15 @ 10:25 PM
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    Eats goth-related foods. Count Dracula cereal is an example of this.

    I guess my fate was sealed at age 6...
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  7. #7
    Atomic Punk ZeoBandit's Avatar
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    12.11.17 @ 06:24 AM
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    Uh oh! I have to go to confession now! I've been worshiping the wrong person!
    "What we are dealing with here, is a complete lack of respect for the law" - Jackie Gleason, Smokey and the Bandit

    www.geocaching.com - The site where you are the search engine.

  8. #8
    Eruption arcticwolf64's Avatar
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    Hear about it later
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    Wow and I thought was a was being a noraml run of the mill teenager..
    All you need in this life is a tremendous sex drive and a great ego , brain's don't mean a shit! ~ Captain Tony Tarracino

    I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me. ~ Hunter S. Thompson

    When you figure out that you can't figure it out, your finally gettin your shit together. ~ Jimmy Buffett

    http://www.myspace.com/palm_trees_and_mojitos

  9. #9
    Atomic Punk Viking's Avatar
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    11.02.17 @ 09:45 PM
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    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by onefootoutthedoor
    Eats goth-related foods. Count Dracula cereal is an example of this.

    I guess my fate was sealed at age 6...
    Does Frankenberry count? If it does, I'm fucked.

    Last edited by Viking; 07.01.05 at 07:58 AM.
    "Viking - last to sleep, first to rise, last to leave, that's how the Nords of old rocked the house." ~ timmac in the 'Texas Linkers' thread talking about yours truly. :-)

  10. #10
    Sinner's Swing! Sunya's Avatar
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    02.10.10 @ 10:42 PM
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    Default

    That's what Tom Cruise's problem is he's a Goth! He wears a lot of black, acts really strange, disregards authority figures (news anchors), misbehaves in public(I saw that clip from Oprah), and is into a cult religion Scientology! LMAO!!!!!!
    "Suppose you were an idiot ... And suppose you were a member of Congress... But I repeat myself."
    --Mark Twain


    There's no one as smart as a gambler at the track putting thier last $10.00 on the longest shot of the day.

  11. #11
    Sinner's Swing! twonabomber's Avatar
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    Default

    goth chix are cool.

    if i tried to go goth i'd look like Uncle Fester.

  12. #12
    Top Of The World MackieMan's Avatar
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    Default


  13. #13
    Attention Whore ArtVandelay's Avatar
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    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by EVH Army
    Eats goth-related foods. Count Dracula cereal is an example of this.

    Watches cable television or any other corrupted media sources. (Ask your local church for proper programs that your child may watch.)
    Now that is fucking funny as hell!!!
    (.)(.)

  14. #14
    Eruption Junior's Avatar
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    12.20.07 @ 05:39 PM
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    Default

    Check them into your local mental health center?

    Don't most of those things typical of any teenager? :

    Misbehaves at school.
    Sleeps too excessivly.
    Insists on spending time with friends, unaccompanied by an adult.
    Disregards authority ficgures.
    Uses the internet excessivly
    Complains of boredom
    Etc.....Etc...Etc...

    Count Chocula!!!???? You can't be serious? Is there an christian alternative in cereal? There are no Jes-Os or Bible Bits.

    It looks as though the only way to ensure you don't have a "goth" child is to adopt a 24 year old with their own apartment.

  15. #15
    Good Enough evhslilhottie's Avatar
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    01.13.07 @ 11:34 AM
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    Quote Originally Posted by MackieMan
    That's not a diagram of a goth girl, that's a diagram of a hardcore girl (which is a goth, but they deny being goth. Go figure)!

    I apply to 20 of those signs. Oh well, my parents think I'm weird because I "dress like a whore" already, so now, they have a daughter who not only dresses like a whore, but is goth.
    So you broke down, trying to leave town, I broke down crying on your return. You left me feeling hopeful, I'll never see your face again. You made for a bad lover's liver. You stole all the covers and busted my head. You made me such an asshole, I wish we'd never met. I'm tired of being bored. I'm through with the headaches. Hiding my hands that tremble like earthquakes. Under the table, under the daytime sky, Good Fucking Bye- Good Fucking Bye, Alkaline Trio

 

 

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