Follow us on...
Follow us on Twitter Follow us on Facebook Watch us on YouTube
Register
Page 1 of 3 123 LastLast
Results 1 to 15 of 37
  1. #1
    Atomic Punk TheresOnlyOneWay's Avatar
    Join Date
    04.13.04
    Location
    Avengers Tower
    Posts
    10,149
    Favorite VH Album

    Chickenfoot III
    Favorite VH Song

    Different Devil
    Last Online

    11.30.17 @ 11:15 AM
    Likes
    0
    Liked 340 Times in 184 Posts


    Donor

    Default Condom Horror in Pacific

    Vast Condom Horror in Pacific
    30-May-2005


    A huge floating reef made up of millions of disposed condoms has been discovered in the mid Pacific. The condom mass is two miles long, up to sixty feet deep, and in places so tightly compressed that a small plane could be landed on it.

    The mass was discovered by the Australian Oceanographic Laboratory Outpost on Macquarie Island in the South Pacific. Scientists there explained that the accumulation, which consists almost exclusively of condoms, is explained by a principle of physics called "like aggregation." Like aggregation is caused by the massing of similar objects due to ocean currents and winds, the response of the objects to the earth's magnetic field, and other factors.

    The tendency of dust to clump and mass in a house or under a bed is explained by the same principle.

    The Australian scientists are mapping the reef by satellite because it is a serious marine hazard. The world disposes of an estimated 300 million condoms a year.
    Sammy did the impossible. He made Van Halen better. Deal with it.
    Michael did the impossible. He made Van Halen better. Deal with it.
    --------------------------
    IAMA I am a stage hand for big mainstream artists. (self.IAmA)

    Q: who was the biggest douche that you have worked with?

    A: Eddie Van Halen hands down he threatened all the stage hands that if we wernt all pushed to the side when he got off stage that he would "bash our faces in"

    Now the new David-Lee-Roth-Van Halen album, ďTokyo Dome In Concert,Ē is available for purchase, and itís super, super, super, super, super, super, crazy bad. - Doug Elfman

  2. #2
    Atomic Punk
    Join Date
    01.29.02
    Age
    49
    Location
    somewhere over the rainbow
    Posts
    22,946
    Last Online

    12.11.17 @ 04:37 PM
    Likes
    842
    Liked 1,229 Times in 448 Posts

    Default

    source?

  3. #3
    Atomic Punk TheresOnlyOneWay's Avatar
    Join Date
    04.13.04
    Location
    Avengers Tower
    Posts
    10,149
    Favorite VH Album

    Chickenfoot III
    Favorite VH Song

    Different Devil
    Last Online

    11.30.17 @ 11:15 AM
    Likes
    0
    Liked 340 Times in 184 Posts


    Donor

    Sammy did the impossible. He made Van Halen better. Deal with it.
    Michael did the impossible. He made Van Halen better. Deal with it.
    --------------------------
    IAMA I am a stage hand for big mainstream artists. (self.IAmA)

    Q: who was the biggest douche that you have worked with?

    A: Eddie Van Halen hands down he threatened all the stage hands that if we wernt all pushed to the side when he got off stage that he would "bash our faces in"

    Now the new David-Lee-Roth-Van Halen album, ďTokyo Dome In Concert,Ē is available for purchase, and itís super, super, super, super, super, super, crazy bad. - Doug Elfman

  4. #4
    Eruption ChrisTheEdHead's Avatar
    Join Date
    02.29.00
    Age
    48
    Location
    Philadelphia, PA USA
    Posts
    1,136
    Favorite VH Album

    the next one!
    Last Online

    03.11.12 @ 12:55 PM
    Likes
    0
    Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts


    Donor

    Default

    Can anybody guess where I WONT be skin-diving?
    "Look, I'll pay you for it, what the f**k?!"

    "If I don't make her happy in the bedroom the wife gets bitchy for days at a time, but when I come to bed ready for action she laughs and laughs. She even laughs while I make my moves so I know I must be pleasing her as only I can do."
    The one, the only..Wengie

    "Denny Crane" - Denny Crane

  5. #5
    Atomic Punk smithjc's Avatar
    Join Date
    04.12.00
    Location
    The US of A
    Posts
    16,463
    Favorite VH Album

    Women & Children First
    Favorite VH Song

    Fools/All things Halenized
    Last Online

    08.04.17 @ 11:33 PM
    Likes
    130
    Liked 29 Times in 14 Posts


    Donor

    Wow.

    So people do use those things?????
    RIP - Classic Van Halen

    "A lot of people take Van Halen more seriously than we do." The Diamond One



  6. #6
    Hang 'Em High janthraxx's Avatar
    Join Date
    05.12.03
    Age
    32
    Location
    Emerald Triangle
    Posts
    6,614
    Favorite VH Album

    CVH minus DD, FUCK, Balance
    Favorite VH Song

    Humans Being, 5150
    Last Online

    11.18.14 @ 07:57 PM
    Likes
    0
    Liked 1 Time in 1 Post

    Default

    That's one of the most bizarre and coolest things I've heard
    "Suck a fat one, faggot."
    -MikeL, showing off that sharp wit of his.

    "You may recognize some of these chemicals. Let's start with cyanide...The one the Aum Shinrikyo cult attempted to use to commit mass murder in a Tokyo subway in May 1995...The same cyanide produced routinely--1.4 million tons per year--for use in the production of plastics, adhesives, cosmetics, pharmaceuticals, and so on. It seems that those who put small amounts of cyanide in subways are terrorists. But those who produce it in mass quantities and contaminate broad reaches of soil, water, and air, killing countless living beings, are not terrorists, but rather capitalists, and are counted among the finest and most powerful people on the planet."

    -Derrick Jensen, "What We Leave Behind"

    "You know what's weird to me is Christians who are against the death penalty. After all, if it weren't for the death penalty, we wouldn't celebrate Easter!"

    -the late, great, Bill Hicks

  7. #7
    Good Enough avhevhmashdlr's Avatar
    Join Date
    04.28.04
    Age
    29
    Location
    New Jersey
    Posts
    2,127
    Favorite VH Album

    Women and Children First
    Favorite VH Song

    Somebody Get Me a Doctor
    Last Online

    03.10.14 @ 08:22 PM
    Likes
    0
    Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by smithjc
    Wow.

    So people do use those things?????

    thats the first thing that came to my head......
    [On the House Un-American Activities Committee] "They'll nail anyone who ever scratched his ass during the National Anthem."- Humphrey Bogart
    The very existence of flamethrowers proves that sometime, somewhere, someone said to themselves, "You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I'm just not close enough to get the job done".- George Carlin
    "I just think people should be very free with sex. They should draw the line at goats." - Elton John
    "I'm just trying to figure out why you donít have any clothes on," the deputy said.

    "Me too," Krauss replied.

    "Donít forget! One sperm can ruin your whole day!"

  8. #8
    Eruption ChrisTheEdHead's Avatar
    Join Date
    02.29.00
    Age
    48
    Location
    Philadelphia, PA USA
    Posts
    1,136
    Favorite VH Album

    the next one!
    Last Online

    03.11.12 @ 12:55 PM
    Likes
    0
    Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts


    Donor

    Default

    And, uh....WHAT EXACTLY is holding them all together?
    "Look, I'll pay you for it, what the f**k?!"

    "If I don't make her happy in the bedroom the wife gets bitchy for days at a time, but when I come to bed ready for action she laughs and laughs. She even laughs while I make my moves so I know I must be pleasing her as only I can do."
    The one, the only..Wengie

    "Denny Crane" - Denny Crane

  9. #9
    Atomic Punk smithjc's Avatar
    Join Date
    04.12.00
    Location
    The US of A
    Posts
    16,463
    Favorite VH Album

    Women & Children First
    Favorite VH Song

    Fools/All things Halenized
    Last Online

    08.04.17 @ 11:33 PM
    Likes
    130
    Liked 29 Times in 14 Posts


    Donor

    Quote Originally Posted by ChrisTheEdHead
    And, uh....WHAT EXACTLY is holding them all together?


    Now that's something to think about!!!
    Kinda gross, in'it???
    Last edited by smithjc; 05.31.05 at 04:30 PM.
    RIP - Classic Van Halen

    "A lot of people take Van Halen more seriously than we do." The Diamond One



  10. #10
    PM Goo with your concerns OLO's Avatar
    Join Date
    12.13.99
    Age
    49
    Location
    Enumclaw, WA
    Posts
    18,055
    Favorite VH Album

    Fair Warning
    Favorite VH Song

    Unchained
    Last Online

    12.12.17 @ 07:05 PM
    Likes
    91
    Liked 84 Times in 35 Posts

    Default

    Sounds like a sticky situation.
    ((Just My Two Cents))
    And thats about what its worth.

  11. #11
    Good Enough LittleGuitars99's Avatar
    Join Date
    09.16.02
    Location
    Ontario
    Posts
    2,546
    Favorite VH Album

    OU812
    Favorite VH Song

    littleguitars
    Last Online

    12.23.05 @ 12:07 PM
    Likes
    0
    Liked 3 Times in 3 Posts


    Donor

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by avhevhmashdlr
    thats the first thing that came to my head......
    No puns intended.

  12. #12
    Good Enough avhevhmashdlr's Avatar
    Join Date
    04.28.04
    Age
    29
    Location
    New Jersey
    Posts
    2,127
    Favorite VH Album

    Women and Children First
    Favorite VH Song

    Somebody Get Me a Doctor
    Last Online

    03.10.14 @ 08:22 PM
    Likes
    0
    Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by LittleGuitars99
    No puns intended.
    eeek i just noticed that!
    [On the House Un-American Activities Committee] "They'll nail anyone who ever scratched his ass during the National Anthem."- Humphrey Bogart
    The very existence of flamethrowers proves that sometime, somewhere, someone said to themselves, "You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I'm just not close enough to get the job done".- George Carlin
    "I just think people should be very free with sex. They should draw the line at goats." - Elton John
    "I'm just trying to figure out why you donít have any clothes on," the deputy said.

    "Me too," Krauss replied.

    "Donít forget! One sperm can ruin your whole day!"

  13. #13
    Baluchitherium KT's Avatar
    Join Date
    03.26.04
    Age
    45
    Location
    Texas
    Posts
    5,148
    Favorite VH Album

    5150
    Favorite VH Song

    Humans Being,5150,WhenIt'sLove
    Last Online

    08.08.17 @ 07:44 PM
    Likes
    0
    Liked 18 Times in 2 Posts


    Donor

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by ChrisTheEdHead
    And, uh....WHAT EXACTLY is holding them all together?

    Mmmmmm...YUMMY!
    Meet me in Cabo!

  14. #14
    Good Enough Wolfgang Slinger's Avatar
    Join Date
    07.06.04
    Age
    33
    Location
    Canada
    Posts
    2,414
    Favorite VH Album

    Van Halen
    Favorite VH Song

    Beautiful Girls
    Last Online

    03.03.17 @ 11:34 AM
    Likes
    11
    Liked 25 Times in 4 Posts

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by OLO
    Sounds like a sticky situation.

  15. #15
    Atomic Punk
    Join Date
    01.29.02
    Age
    49
    Location
    somewhere over the rainbow
    Posts
    22,946
    Last Online

    12.11.17 @ 04:37 PM
    Likes
    842
    Liked 1,229 Times in 448 Posts

    Default

    I hope those condoms are Dolphin-safe!

    Then again, here's the best excuse for editable condoms, safe for the environment... How many licks would she take to reach the, umm nevermind <LOL>

 

 

Similar Threads

  1. The Pacific Northwest According To Jeff Foxworthy
    By OLO in forum VH Fans Meeting Place (Non-Music)
    Replies: 8
    Last Post: 01.28.06, 01:18 PM
  2. Boat sank in the Pacific today...
    By seenbad in forum VH Fans Meeting Place (Non-Music)
    Replies: 145
    Last Post: 08.23.05, 05:15 AM
  3. I'm a euro-horror fan!!!
    By Women And Roth First in forum VH Fans Meeting Place (Non-Music)
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 10.15.02, 05:48 PM
  4. Ladies and Gentlemen: THE CONDOM THREAD!!!!
    By seenbad in forum VH Fans Meeting Place (Non-Music)
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 01.28.02, 12:56 PM

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •