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  1. #1
    Romeo Delight
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    08.13.09 @ 01:54 PM
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    Default help from other parents!!!

    hi guys. i'm a father of a 6 year-old and a 3.5 year old. this morning, as we're getting the kids around and ready for school, i tell my 6 year-old it's time to brush our teeth. she tells me she already did. i knew she didn't so i proceed to check and see if her toothbrush is wet. it's not. she's lying. as she normally does not do this, it immediately raises a huge flag for me. this little lie today could easily turn into huge lies when she's 16'ish.

    i call her on her lie but she does not back down, 'i did brush my teeth dad'. we left it open after i dropped her off at the sitter who gets her on the school bus.

    to me, it's not finished. how do you guys handle this one? am i over-reacting?

    jay

  2. #2
    Good Enough ScottRoberts's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by the insider
    hi guys. i'm a father of a 6 year-old and a 3.5 year old. this morning, as we're getting the kids around and ready for school, i tell my 6 year-old it's time to brush our teeth. she tells me she already did. i knew she didn't so i proceed to check and see if her toothbrush is wet. it's not. she's lying. as she normally does not do this, it immediately raises a huge flag for me. this little lie today could easily turn into huge lies when she's 16'ish.

    i call her on her lie but she does not back down, 'i did brush my teeth dad'. we left it open after i dropped her off at the sitter who gets her on the school bus.

    to me, it's not finished. how do you guys handle this one? am i over-reacting?

    jay
    My 5 and 4 year-old boys tell fibs all the time, including not brushing their teeth when they're supposed to. I just make 'em go back into the bathroom and brush them "again", with me or my wife checking on them periodically to make sure they're doing what they're told.

    You're not over-reacting. You gotta be firm and try to take care of the problem right there and then. You have to call them on it (but of course, don't overly humiliate them, just do it in a firm but nice way). They'll eventually get the picture.
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  3. #3
    Good Enough BottomzUp's Avatar
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    03.12.07 @ 01:18 PM
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    My kids are 5 and 3 and my five year old did the same ONCE...then we sat her down, had a quick talk about honesty and integrity and she has been good with it ever since. You need to address this for sure. Little things will one day turn into big things so get it while it's minor!
    I am with ya' man...this parenting shit is not easy lol!
    "Maybe I was the only one, but I really felt like we could surprise these guys. Obviously, that was not the case."

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  4. #4
    Eruption ericjt's Avatar
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    10.20.06 @ 08:33 AM
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    If you haven't had the "lying is bad and here's why" talk, you might want to. She might not be lying as much as she is just trying to get out of doing something (similar I know). Make sure she knows a "lie" is.

    I agree with Scott, though. Get her to brush "again" so you can be sure she did it. Try something like "show me you brushed" and check her teeth and let her do it again.

    I wouldn't overreact to the "lying" now unless she starts lying about other stuff; kids are always gonna try to get out of their chores.
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  5. #5
    Hang 'Em High perticelli's Avatar
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    11.30.15 @ 02:22 PM
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    MY 6 YR OLD son is doing the same thing, and we've had the talk..but he still does it..he doesnt listen when i talk to him, his mind is elsewhere..
    my wife isnt in to spanking and i agreed, but what else can i do?
    soap in the mouth?

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  6. #6
    Good Enough BottomzUp's Avatar
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    Take away whatever means the most to them when they act out. My litte guy Ty LOVES a motocross game on the PS2. If he acts out he simply can't play the game all. To each his own as far as discipline goes. I have also whooped his ass(by that I mean a smack or two on the butt with my hand) and that proved to be effective at the time. I got my butt spanked when I was a kid and I turned out just fine. When I get out on parole I have a good job lined up and will be a great success!
    Parenting is tough and there is NO right or wrong no matter how many 'experts' weigh in. Just do whatever works for you.
    "Maybe I was the only one, but I really felt like we could surprise these guys. Obviously, that was not the case."

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  7. #7
    Hang 'Em High RRMB's Avatar
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    05.21.17 @ 06:42 PM
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    When you proved that she hadn't by feeling the toothbrush, you march that little girl right back in to the bathroom and make her brush again. While you stand there watching. I do that with mine. I also use the "I'm very disappointed in you" line on her. That crushes her everytime.

    Dragging it around with you all day and them bringing it up later will serve no point. By tonight, she'll have forgotten about it. Thinking that if you don't quash it now will lead to problems when she's 16 is nothing more than psychobabble. By marching her back to the bathroom, putting the toothpaste on the brush and watching her brush...you have called her bluff AND got her to brush her teeth. DING DING...you win.
    "Jesus, that fucker just crawled out of his hen house that was destroyed by the Alabama tornados. Fucking 280mph plus winds sucked the gleam off this bitch and passed it on to a bird in Rhoad Island." - Hurricane Halen 5/3/11 (about my birthday chicken from seenbad)

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  8. #8
    Good Enough BottomzUp's Avatar
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    I also use the "I'm very disappointed in you" line on her. That crushes her everytime.


    Yeah...you are right about that one. With my little girl(5) I only use that 'in case of emergency'. It really does hurt her when I tell her I am simply disappointed in her, so I use it very sparingly. It helps maintain it's impact and it also avoids me seeing her feeling crushed. She is a great little girl and has done MAYBE 2 'bad' things in her five years!
    "Maybe I was the only one, but I really felt like we could surprise these guys. Obviously, that was not the case."

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  9. #9
    Damage your reputation seenbad's Avatar
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    11.30.17 @ 06:15 PM
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    Mines about to turn 8. She's a GREAT little girl and she went through the discovery of lies and how easy/convenient they can make life at about the same age.

    Our policy for just about anything is warning/education first, then discipline on the second offense to firm things up. Generally, there is a second offense. At that point, discipline varies. For lying, which we consider one of the absolute no-no's, there is a spank involved. It's not acceptable. Now on the other side, honesty is rewarded, especially when it's "hard", or just simply not as easy or convenient as it is to tell a lie. We try to build her integrity up and pride in telling the truth no matter how hard it might be by telling her how much we appreciate her doing that first, then addressing whatever it is she's fessing up to second.

    At that age, one thing we made mistakes with (I believe) is lecturing too much. They don't have the comprehension or attention span to get in to the evils of lying and a comparitive analysis with graphical charts displaying the effectiveness and consequences of each choice. They just need to know the basics. Lying is bad and disrespectful and not allowed. If they "choose" (they need to basically understand that it IS a choice) to lie, they will not like the consequences.
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  10. #10
    Good Enough weesfreewheelin's Avatar
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    Dude, wait till the pre-school teacher calls you up, and begins to tell you how dissapointed they are of your little tyke for calling them a (son of a bitch). Where do they hear that kinda shit?????
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  11. #11
    Baluchitherium loveevhsince79's Avatar
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    My 3-1/2 yr sons favorite right now (or was) Oh shit! Ya know, after the soap in the mouth a couple of times, I don't think he's said that recently.

  12. #12
    carpe damn diem billy007's Avatar
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    12.13.17 @ 05:35 AM
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    My two youngest (8 and 6) I found out today were taking the money that I was sending to school for their lunch and using it to buy breakfast also (after already having eaten at home), so their accounts, which I were thinking were paid up, were behind. My wife doesn't think I should yell at them for it, because it's important that they eat a good breakfast, and while I agree, this isn't the way to do it - if they want to eat breakfast at school - fine - ask! And don't eat breakfast at home, too. I consider what they did to be lying and stealing. The six year old got $10 for his birthday back in April - I informed him it is now his lunch money. If the 8 year old turns 9 in July - I plan to do the same. Even if we weren't a little short right now and money was no object, I would still think it was wrong, since it was made clear to them on multiple occasions (and written on the check and underlined usually as well - so part of the blame could go to the school) that the money was for lunch and lunch only - not breakfast, not snacks - lunch!
    Any thoughts?

  13. #13
    Damage your reputation seenbad's Avatar
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    11.30.17 @ 06:15 PM
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    Thoughts....

    Accountability is huge, and that's what you're trying to get across with the lesson. Not saying you were wrong, I don't know your kids, you do. I don't think I'd take the birthday money though. That was a gift. I'd consider it off limits. I would however have him do 10 bucks worth of work for you in some other area of the house or yard, and do it right.
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