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Thread: Help!!!!

  1. #1
    Romeo Delight
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    11.14.05 @ 09:44 PM
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    Default Help!!!!

    Hey guys,

    This is kinda long and will most likely bore most of you , but I really am turning towards giving up music for good and well, anyway........

    It all started about 9 months ago when I quit the band I was in very suddenly becasue they eally had no clue about musicianship, or what it took to put on a show and well not to be concided cause I'm really not, but thier talent level was nowhwere near mine.

    I'm not a great guitarist, but I can handle Crazy Train, and can hold my own lead wise, but the thing is that around here, I am probably only one of 5 guitarists that can play rytyhm at all and know more than 2 chords.

    The rest of them can't keep time, don't know half the chords they should and dont know what it takes to play WITH a band.

    I actually consider myself more of a musician than a guitarist cause I can actully play Bass ,Drums and some keyboards,so when I am playing , I know what is going on with the other instruments.

    So that brings me to the problem with the band, they just had no clue and I had to argue with them JUST to get then to learn the stuff half right and to try an sound at least ok. It took me a long time to get in this band as this area just sucks as far as bands and musicians go.

    I mean the bass player would be playing some major runs in minor keys and telling me stuff like, Oh it doesn't matter if I play 3 wrong notes , yyou can't tell and stuff like that , so you can see where that ca nbe annoying.

    Well anyway they decided that we needed another guitar player, and I realized that we really needed one also for the stuff we were doing, but didn't want to go through dealing with the caliber of guys listed above.

    For the first year the singer also played guitar when needed and I was satuisfied with that, but they finnally got another guy in and after 2 gigs of him being on stage and not knowing HALF th songs, I quit very quickly!

    He had 8 weeks to learn the stuff, and because of our schedule, we couldn't actaully practice with him, but he told the 3 other guys in the band he knew the stuff so they said , " OK, you can get on stage and start playing gigs with us".

    Well the idiot couldn' play all 3 chords to Some Kind of Wonderful after 8 weeks and , well dn't think it needs to be said that you guys can tell he couldn't play Crazy Train, or I don't know or ANY of the stuff . He was up there looking at me for Chord changes and wll it was horrible.

    After the first time , I told thekm if it happened again I was gone and well, it happened a second time and they said , he sounds fine to us.

    SO now that I have written a book( Sorry) , the thing is I quit back in September and up until about JAnuary , I busted my ass tryin to get into another band, only to realize, there are way too many guys like them around and honestly NOONE worth even playig with around here anymore.

    So in the meantime, I havn't played hardly at all, I just move into an apartment and I finnally turned on the gear and felt like I didn't even ever want to touch it again.

    To begin with My stuff is way to loud now for an aparment, I just have no interest in playing anything and I am getting frustrated about having a couple thousand dollars worth of gear that I don't need , but would take a BIG hit on if I tried to sell it.

    I have a Marhsall dsl50 head and a 4x12, an 18 space rack with a switching system and to many other things to list. I have a Jackson Soloist and a Charvel strat and well I just hate this situation that I am in right now.

    I guess I can safely asume that if any of you have ever gotten like this that you got out of it or you wouldn't be here reading this.

    At first I tried to just play in the bedroom and be a bedroom gutarist, and just do it for fun. Just about 3 months ago I was learning every Van Halen song I could and even went and got an MXR Flanger, but all that has worn off over the last 2 or so months and I just don't even feel liek playing ever again.

    Is there anything anyone can say that may make me feel any different or at least give me some hope of getting out of this rut?

    I'm sory for th long post , but I feel like this ...

  2. #2
    Good Enough kowski's Avatar
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    12.03.17 @ 11:54 AM
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cazmarzak
    Is there anything anyone can say that may make me feel any different or at least give me some hope of getting out of this rut?
    That's just what it is, a rut. It's likely nothing permanent. You obviously care about musicianship and playing music, so I am sure you will come around and want to play again. It may just take a little time.

    I know I have days when I don't feel like playing guitar for some reason or another. When that happens, sometimes I play keyboard so I am doing something different, but still making music. Or I go out and find some music I haven't heard before that kicks my butt and makes me want to play more. Maybe doing something like that will get you back into the groove of wanting to play, or perhaps you just need to wait to find some other source of inspiration. It could just hit you one day out of nowhere!

    Many musicians have dry spells that last six months, or a year, or many years, so don't give up hope...chances are that you will come out of this rut a lot sooner than any of those lengths of time.

    By the way, where do you live? Perhaps there are some people around here that you could jam with. It always feels great to play with competent musicians. Maybe that could pick you back up.

  3. #3
    Atomic Punk ziggysmalls's Avatar
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    12.15.17 @ 08:52 AM
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    Well my life lesson here would be don't give up hope and music is supposed to be fun and uplifting.

    You can find decent players out there. Not sure how old you are or where you live but I would think that younger people out there are probably not as adapt on guitar due to soloing and non-drop D rhythms have been out of style since 1993. You may need to find some older guys to jam with.

    Another avenue for you is to do home recording. I play in a cover band however sometimes that does not do it for me. Therefore I do some originals at home with midi drums, keyboards and have a crappy bass.

    With that you are in control of the whole band. You don't have to wait for somebody to catch up or learn a song.

    Whle you are doing that you look for another band. If one comes up within a month, great. 6 months that is fine too.

    I would not give it up because someday you will regret it and will buy all your stuff back.

  4. #4
    Hot For Teacher riddick's Avatar
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    12.14.17 @ 09:07 PM
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cazmarzak
    Hey guys,

    This is kinda long and will most likely bore most of you , but I really am turning towards giving up music for good and well, anyway........

    It all started about 9 months ago when I quit the band I was in very suddenly becasue they eally had no clue about musicianship, or what it took to put on a show and well not to be concided cause I'm really not, but thier talent level was nowhwere near mine.

    I'm not a great guitarist, but I can handle Crazy Train, and can hold my own lead wise, but the thing is that around here, I am probably only one of 5 guitarists that can play rytyhm at all and know more than 2 chords.

    The rest of them can't keep time, don't know half the chords they should and dont know what it takes to play WITH a band.

    I actually consider myself more of a musician than a guitarist cause I can actully play Bass ,Drums and some keyboards,so when I am playing , I know what is going on with the other instruments.

    So that brings me to the problem with the band, they just had no clue and I had to argue with them JUST to get then to learn the stuff half right and to try an sound at least ok. It took me a long time to get in this band as this area just sucks as far as bands and musicians go.

    I mean the bass player would be playing some major runs in minor keys and telling me stuff like, Oh it doesn't matter if I play 3 wrong notes , yyou can't tell and stuff like that , so you can see where that ca nbe annoying.

    Well anyway they decided that we needed another guitar player, and I realized that we really needed one also for the stuff we were doing, but didn't want to go through dealing with the caliber of guys listed above.

    For the first year the singer also played guitar when needed and I was satuisfied with that, but they finnally got another guy in and after 2 gigs of him being on stage and not knowing HALF th songs, I quit very quickly!

    He had 8 weeks to learn the stuff, and because of our schedule, we couldn't actaully practice with him, but he told the 3 other guys in the band he knew the stuff so they said , " OK, you can get on stage and start playing gigs with us".

    Well the idiot couldn' play all 3 chords to Some Kind of Wonderful after 8 weeks and , well dn't think it needs to be said that you guys can tell he couldn't play Crazy Train, or I don't know or ANY of the stuff . He was up there looking at me for Chord changes and wll it was horrible.

    After the first time , I told thekm if it happened again I was gone and well, it happened a second time and they said , he sounds fine to us.

    SO now that I have written a book( Sorry) , the thing is I quit back in September and up until about JAnuary , I busted my ass tryin to get into another band, only to realize, there are way too many guys like them around and honestly NOONE worth even playig with around here anymore.

    So in the meantime, I havn't played hardly at all, I just move into an apartment and I finnally turned on the gear and felt like I didn't even ever want to touch it again.

    To begin with My stuff is way to loud now for an aparment, I just have no interest in playing anything and I am getting frustrated about having a couple thousand dollars worth of gear that I don't need , but would take a BIG hit on if I tried to sell it.

    I have a Marhsall dsl50 head and a 4x12, an 18 space rack with a switching system and to many other things to list. I have a Jackson Soloist and a Charvel strat and well I just hate this situation that I am in right now.

    I guess I can safely asume that if any of you have ever gotten like this that you got out of it or you wouldn't be here reading this.

    At first I tried to just play in the bedroom and be a bedroom gutarist, and just do it for fun. Just about 3 months ago I was learning every Van Halen song I could and even went and got an MXR Flanger, but all that has worn off over the last 2 or so months and I just don't even feel liek playing ever again.

    Is there anything anyone can say that may make me feel any different or at least give me some hope of getting out of this rut?

    I'm sory for th long post , but I feel like this ...

    Don;t give up hope, a couple of months back, my band turned to shit, and it was all because one band member was too lazy, and didn't/couldn't learn his parts, we got rid of him, then another band member got lazy, l left, and the hunt start for another band, so many auditions l went through, so many shitty songs l learnt, so many shitty musicians, just recently, l joined a band of some of the best musicians l've ever played with, they complement my song ideas so well, and l complement their songs.

    Believe me, it so easy to give up, l was going to, but don't be a weak prick, get out there auditon for bands, one will come your way that will suit you, you just have to hang in there.

    Trust me,

    Riddick.

  5. #5
    Romeo Delight
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    Hey man thank for the support. The only problem is I live in such an area where there just isn't a music scene anymore and guys don't want to be in bands.

    There just isn't anyone for me to even try to jam with that I haven't already, I know that sound like a excuse but , if any of you are from the Newark DE area, then you know what I am talking about.


    The other thing that I should have mentioned is that the clubs around here are also getign away from the band thing and going more for Dj's, or just plain closing down.

    I hae never really been into this for money either, BUT to have to haul around all this gear and go through all the normal crap associated with being in a band , to only get paid 300.00, then have to pay a sound guy 200.00 of it, then split it 5 ways,well you see the picture.

    Like I said, I really wasn't in it for the money, but it was starting to cost me a lot more than I was getting back.

    So I really kind of have given up on the live part of it, but I'm upset that I don't want to play AT ALL Anymore. I know that sounds wierd, but I'm stuck inbeteween desicions of giving up and not and it is driving me crazy

  6. #6
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    Dude, you aren't going to give it up for good. Take some time off and cool down, and then come back to playing when you feel the itch. And you WILL feel it.
    How open-minded do I have to be before my brains start spilling out?

  7. #7
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    Man ... this is all too familiar.

    I'm in the same situation, sorta ...
    I quit my band about two years ago for similar reasons, went through the different "stages" of "I gotta find a band" to "I never want to play music again". The thing is, it has happened before and will most likely happen again.

    DO NOT, I repeat ... DO NOT sell your equipment.
    I made that mistake once before and it cost me dearly.
    My suggestion is to just "take a break".

    Since I left my band, I've done some home recording and most recently I've really gotten into painting and building guitars. Sometimes I'll look at the classified ads, and think ... "ya know, the band thing really was a BIG pain in the ass". Dealing with all of the different personalities, different taste in music, different levels of talent, all of the time spent practicing and learning songs .... hell, the ONLY thing I really miss is the playing out part!

    As it now stands, I'll probably never do the band thing again, BUT ...
    there's a real nice 5150/Marshall stack just waiting for me if I should ever change my mind.

  8. #8
    Romeo Delight
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    Thanks guys, I appreciate it.

    I did go through all this once before and sold all my gear and I really regretted selling my custom shop 2500.00 Jackson for 300.00 !

    Anyway, this all happend when Nirvana came around a ruined music. I got out of it and had absolutely NO regrets. I took up Ice Hockey and got to become a really good goalie , soing the leage thing an such, and then as always seems to happen......................

    I got hurt at work and to make a real long story short, I am on disability and can't play hockey and that is gonna be forever.

    So I took up the music thing again and it lasted for about 3 years this time, but just seems SOOOOO Far gone right now.

    That was the other issue about quiting the band, hauling a stack and a rack and pedal board Etc, all over with a Spinal Fusion just wasn't worth 40 -50 bucks a night.

    On one hand I fell like I am wasting you guys time cause I feel like , screw it , I just won't play anymore and on the other there is this part of me that keeps posting, searching for something to ease this mess up on me

    If at times I seem like I am answering my own questions and like I know what I want to do, well I have no clue and I do appreciate all the posts you guys are doing to try and help.

    Oh and for a few of you who asked, I live in Newark Delaware. About 50 minutes from Philly or an hour or two from New York

  9. #9
    Sinner's Swing! Rick S's Avatar
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    hey dude i live 5 minutes from newark. im in wilmington but all my bandmates live in newark. weve played the ground floor , mr docs , gators all the local places.... were on hiatus now but maybe we can hook up if you like metal.
    www.rickshick.tumblr.com

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  10. #10
    XTC man! homeunit's Avatar
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    09.05.15 @ 12:20 PM
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    If you want to do it, there's always a way to make it work. My band used to live a hours away from each other but we found a way to get together a couple of times a week.

    It's all about hunger and inspiration. If you're playing with fuckwads you're going to get sour to the whole thing pretty quick. If you're anywhere near a bigger city, do the ad thing in the local artists paper. You'll eventually find a fit for yourself.

    If you're burnt out right now, put the guitar down till you start getting the goose bumps from hearing you're fav music. Stop until you get inspired, but make sure to suround yourself with great music to get inspired by. Once the fire is back you'll be surprised at what you'll be willing to do to get a band together.
    My Band
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  11. #11
    Atomic Punk
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    05.31.14 @ 08:17 PM
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    Okay, I've had three back surgeries since 2001.

    Get a good 1/12 and maybe a good 1/12 extension. Easy to lift/move and store. I bought a big tool box with wheels and a handle for the rest of my gear. A good amp modeler can act as a pre-amp and solve the problem of playing in your apratment.

    Since I don't know how old you are I'll keep it simple.

    Do you love playing rock in a band?

    If yes, don't quit. If no, not any more then hang it up, keep a guitar for days when you are bored.

    If it's something that you've gotta do, consider moving. You are close to Boston and New York and New Jersey. Those places are crawling with bands and musicians.

    I'm just giving to you straight, and I hope I'm not coming across as too much of an asshole. Here's the thing, I quit back in 1989, just when things had started to heat up for me. I felt that I was burned out, I wasn't happy playing guitar anymore and I was pissed off all of the time. Turns out that the reason I was burned out was I had gone the studio guitarist route and it wasn't what I'd thought it was going to be. Playing other people's music, often music that sucked, was just stomach-turning. Factor in technology that made guys like me obsolete and my chosen path had lead me to a dead-end.

    So I quit.

    Big mistake, in 1988 I had the oppertunity handed to me to move to Seattle. Worse, it was an offer from a woman that I loved. I passed up on it and stayed here and went into the toy business which 12 years later spit me out with a bad back. I could have gone to Seattle two years before Nirvana hit, hooked up with guys who wanted to slam it out and who knows? If nothing else I'd be with one of the coolest women on the planet.

    Now I'm trying to get back into playing again and after 14 years out of the picture I'm left feeling like a fish out of water. This is mostly due to technology but the other problem is that I am out of practice. So I'm starting over in so many ways and it sucks. The 25 year old Axxman is gone and his fingers don't remember what to do anymore. It's taken me since last September to rebuild my technique and my skills but on the bright side, I've picked up a bunch of new stuff to add with the old stuff. Now I just have to figure out who I am as a player and then put my head down and charge.
    Like I said before, technology allows for a smaller amp that sounds great, thus saving my back. I've got friends down south who will put up with me when I want to move down there.

    I guess what I'm trying to say is that before you quit you should consider how often you are going to look back and miss it. Miss it in a way that hurts.
    "Nothing is ever what it seems but everything is exactly what it is." - B. Banzai


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  12. #12
    Unchained Van Murphenstein's Avatar
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    So why did you stay in this band? It sounds like you knew all along your band sucked and you were making that sacrifice to play in this band. I think that sacrifice is what made you want to quit; it drained you musically. Don't let those fuckers do that to you! Find one person at your level you can get together and jam with, maybe that can form into a band of your own.

  13. #13
    Sinner's Swing! Rick S's Avatar
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    06.23.17 @ 09:49 PM
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    what was the name of your band? i ve probably heard the name.

    once again if you ever want to jam or put something together drop me a pm or email. im in your area.
    www.rickshick.tumblr.com

    1love4chi

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    Dave or Sammy ?.........pffffft Eddie.

  14. #14
    Romeo Delight
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    Rick S,

    Backlash was the band. They are still playing, but they are playing places that I really don't want to play in now. Like Christiana Pub EVERY month and Bankshots, oh and the Crerand Ale house.

    They play out a lot more than when I was with them, but not in places that I wanted to play in. We never got into Gators, or Froggys, the best place we played was at The Pale Dog Tavern and that was cool.

    I just moved and I am still have a lot of settling in to do, but maybe we can get together and jam for a bit. Send Me an E-mail and I'll give you my info.

    Rickus@Fairwarning.com

    I only stayed in the band cause it took so long for me to find one to begin with. I did the ad thing for 2 years and was about to give up when these guys called. They already had gigs and I really wanted to Play out at that time. Plus it turned out that the drummer was my wifes EX best friends husband, she wasn't an EX best friend at the time though, I just never knew him well enough to know he was in this band, as they didn't keep in touch, but I had meet him before.

    Axemann,

    Your not comeing off like an asshole at all. The thing is, cause of my back injury , I lost my house and everything I had and ws forced to live with my friend, so I treally couldnt move to a better city as far as music is concerned and I realy didn't want to do that anyway.

    I just wanted to play out 2-3 times a month, but at some decent clubs around here, and that was it, but at first that is what these guys were all about, then all the sudden they deided that they want to become a "Touring band" as the singer put it and be all professional.

    But that was the whole thing , they thought they were profesional, but they didn't want to sound like it. They had this idea that noone cared cause they were all drunk, the drummer didnt' feel like that BUT, he wouldn't stand up wioth me when I was in these heated arguments with the bass player and the singer also wouldn't say anything.

    It was weird casue the drummer is the BEST drummer I have ever played with, and hte bass player was the WORST, the singer was OK, but was a great front man. When My brother joined the band, all the sudden we had great backup vocals, which we didnt before, we really had none cause the bass player couldn't sing but thought he could.

    Plus we had a GREAT ryth ym guitar player, my brother is an EXCELLENT guitar player, but doesn't play a lot of lead.

    We were doing some harmonized solo stuf and were able to do things like the intro to Rock Bottom by Kiss, it was great with him in the band, and other than the bass player, we actually had some potential.

    BUT he quit cause he could see the lame attitude that some of the ohter guys had and that is when I got up to where my initial post started, with the singer playing guitar when needed, but they wanted anoter guitarist, so I made the big mistake of trying to be a team player and got the other guy in the band.

    At first he agreed to do all the parts my brother was doing , but then just decided to lookat me and do the same parts I was doing, so ...........

    Here I am

  15. #15
    Sinner's Swing! Rick S's Avatar
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    email sent bro.
    www.rickshick.tumblr.com

    1love4chi

    Deftones , now and forever and only second to VH.

    Dave or Sammy ?.........pffffft Eddie.

 

 

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