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  1. #1
    Atomic Punk FH's Avatar
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    10.22.09 @ 11:47 AM
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    An Open Letter To General Mills

    To Whom It May Concern,

    I've been a fan of your cereals since I was old enough to chew. I spent many happy years of my childhood with Cheerios, Cocoa Puffs, and Cinnamon Toast Crunch. I have been a fan of your cereals ever since.

    I love your company's profile. Kids love the taste, but you still provide the essential vitamins and minerals. And I love that you've continued your attention to health with your use of whole grain in all of your cereals.

    However, I am losing faith in your company. Recently, I tried your new Chocolate Lucky Charms. The original was indeed magically delicious, especially after you added the coating to the cereal peices. But this new version isn't good enough for the $3 price tag.

    Let's get this straight. I LOVE the marshmallows. The rainbows, four-leaf-clover hats, horseshoes, the ones that change color when you pour milk, etc. Those are great marshmallows. There's nothing wrong with them. Unfortunately, your new cereal falls apart in the chocolate department.

    At the time of writing, you have more than 20 varieties of cereal on the market. Now, if only that were the actual number, instead of repackaging the same cereals under different "flavors" (Cheerios, Honey Nut Cheerios, Frosted Cheerios, etc, Rice Chex, Wheat Chex, Corn Chex, and of course, Lucky Charms and Chocolate Lucky Charms).

    To avoid ranting for pages, here's a list of things to consider for your next cereal:

    1. Variety. Chocolate Lucky Charms is not a new cereal. It is Count Chocula.

    2. Advertise. It would seem that Chocolate Lucky Charms is meant to replace Count Chocula. This wouldn't be necessary had you actually ever advertised it. I don't recall having seen a commercial for it since I was in elementary school.

    3. Innovation. TRUE innovation. Cheese is a great flavor, but I have yet to see it in a cereal.

    4. Flavor. The chocolate peices in Chocolate Lucky Charms don't taste right. You could have at least used the Cocoa Puffs recipe.

    Basically, it seems you have lost sight of what fuels your company: little kids. The people who eat your cereal. They can only be fooled by a colorful box so many times before they grow up and realize "Hey, this tastes like crap." I love your classic cereals, so I would hate to see your lose.

    Currently, however, your cereal IS losing. Unless some changes are made, I fear your company will go the way of Ralston Purina (yeah, the guys you got Cookie Crisp from).

    With much hope,
    FH

  2. #2
    Good Enough Ace Ventura's Avatar
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    01.01.13 @ 04:06 PM
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    I don't even know how to respond to that! LOL!!! Best of luck in your endeavors, FH!
    "It doesn't mean that much to me to mean that much to you..." -Neil Young

    "The sun's not yellow, it's chicken." -Bob Dylan

    "If you go out and buy a Van Halen record and put it in your collection, it'll melt your other records." -David Lee Roth, 1981.

    Guy of Gisborne: Why a spoon, cousin? Why not an axe?
    Sheriff of Nottingham: Because it's DULL, you twit!!! It'll HURT MORE!!!

  3. #3
    Good Enough BottomzUp's Avatar
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    03.12.07 @ 01:18 PM
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    These days $3.00 for a box of REAL cereal not Wal-Charms is pretty much the norm.
    "Maybe I was the only one, but I really felt like we could surprise these guys. Obviously, that was not the case."

    Brett Favre 09/10/06

    http://www.myspace.com/lionzrule

  4. #4
    Good Enough
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    06.29.07 @ 03:57 PM
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    Ahhhhhhhhh.....cereal reminds me of the great Green Jello song!!

    Cereal Killer

    Follow your nose, it always knows the flavor of death where ever it goes,
    Terror in the supermarket, shoppers are in horror,
    Shredded boxes in the aisles, corpses on the floor,
    Those who ran, this joy is mine, now they're going to pay,
    Super gory slaughter now the order of the day!
    Toucan Son of Sam!!
    Silly rabbit, Trix are for kids.
    Follow your nose, it always knows the flavor of death where ever it goes,
    Orphaned at the age of five, parental guidance missed,
    Reschudwich (???) wouldn't talk to him and he got really pissed,
    The remittal chemicals have driven him insane,
    Now we know the calling like it's ringing 'round his brain,
    Toucan Son of Sam!
    Snap! Crackle! Pop!
    Toucan Son of Sam!
    Part of your nutritious breakfast

  5. #5
    Baluchitherium dirtymovies's Avatar
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    11.12.17 @ 09:04 PM
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    lmao

  6. #6
    Atomic Punk
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    12.11.17 @ 04:37 PM
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    BTW: Cinnamon Toast Crunch w/75% less sugar tastes like SHIT !

  7. #7
    Atomic Punk Lodewijk's Avatar
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    05.21.17 @ 06:59 AM
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    Yeah ! And bring back the GOOD prizes you rat bastards ! You and Cracker Jack have really screwed the pooch in the prize department for the last 20 years !

    I want baking soda powered sub-marines
    I want rubber band powered plastic cars
    I want the little plasic propellars that you attach to a pencil to make it fly !

    Where are your fucking priorities ? Keep your granola bar coupons ! I want toys.....GOOD toys !

    Carry on !
    Lode's Facebook
    @Lode13 on Twitter

  8. #8
    The Frantic Antic TopTimi's Avatar
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    06.14.13 @ 10:39 PM
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    I do remember advertising for some of these. It was CountChocula, Frankenberry, and Booberry all together. I think it was supposed to be in a haunted house where they unsuccessfully tried to scare children. They ended up eating breakfast with them instead.

  9. #9
    Baluchitherium sisca's Avatar
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    06.12.16 @ 07:51 PM
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    Quote Originally Posted by FH

    3. Innovation. TRUE innovation. Cheese is a great flavor, but I have yet to see it in a cereal.
    I LOVE cereal, and I LOVE cheese, but man, there's no thought nastier than a cheese flavored cereal. Brie Bombs? Cheddar Chex? ugh.
    """"\//-/""""


    The Marines I have seen around the world have the cleanest bodies, the filthiest minds, the highest morale, and the lowest morals of any group of animals I have ever seen. Thank God for the United States Marine Corps!


    www.myspace.com/mikesisca

    "If ladies want Valentines Day so bad either make Superbowl Sunday an actual holiday or give guys Steak and Blowjob Day and we'll call it even." T.RYAN, sharing thoughts on valentine's day.

    " SHUT UP, FAGGOT." - Vinnie Velvet, showing off that sharp wit of his.

    DIRTY SANCHEZ- It's not just for breakfast anymore!



    “ Originally posted by FORD
    History tells us that oppressive nations build walls to keep people IN, not out.
    (See "Berlin Wall" and "Likud Israel" for examples) ” FORD- when i told him i'd build a wall between the US and Mexico.

    then ill build it from the mexican side. -my reply.

  10. #10
    carpe damn diem billy007's Avatar
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    12.11.17 @ 08:10 PM
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    My oldest is dead set against those Chocolate Lucky Charms - I tried 'em - were okay, but you're right - just Irish Count Chocula!

  11. #11
    Atomic Punk Van Squalen's Avatar
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    12.12.17 @ 01:57 AM
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    Don't be dissin' the Cookie Crisp, man.


    Cold cereal with 150% sugar content....is da shit.
    I heard they came out with a new flavor of Crunchberries....say it ain't so.

  12. #12
    Good Enough kowski's Avatar
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    12.03.17 @ 11:54 AM
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    Quote Originally Posted by BottomzUp
    These days $3.00 for a box of REAL cereal not Wal-Charms is pretty much the norm.
    I wouldn't complain about that, I have seen worse at the stores. The generic cereals here cost $2.50 to $3.00 for a large box now, and a small box of the name brand stuff often goes for $4.00 to $5.60 or so.

    As for the different types of Chex and Cheerios, they aren't just different flavors of the same thing, I tell ya! They are pretty different. I like Rice Chex and Honey Nut Cheerios more than the other varieties of those cereals.

  13. #13
    Good Enough Ace Ventura's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by sisca
    I LOVE cereal, and I LOVE cheese, but man, there's no thought nastier than a cheese flavored cereal. Brie Bombs? Cheddar Chex? ugh.

    Brie Bombs.... LOL!!!!
    "It doesn't mean that much to me to mean that much to you..." -Neil Young

    "The sun's not yellow, it's chicken." -Bob Dylan

    "If you go out and buy a Van Halen record and put it in your collection, it'll melt your other records." -David Lee Roth, 1981.

    Guy of Gisborne: Why a spoon, cousin? Why not an axe?
    Sheriff of Nottingham: Because it's DULL, you twit!!! It'll HURT MORE!!!

  14. #14
    Atomic Punk FH's Avatar
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    10.22.09 @ 11:47 AM
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    The new crack:

  15. #15
    Sinner's Swing! vh_chick's Avatar
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    What would we do for entertainment of this sort without our beloved VHLinks??? DAMN I love this place!

    For the record, Frankenberry and Booberry ROCK! They are the best part of Halloween, which is the about the only time they are in the stores around here.

    I like Rice Chex. Here's a little poem I wrote about it when I was about 13... (ahem)

    Rice is good
    Rice is good
    Eat it, it is food.

    I am laughing my ass off right now, and I know you are NOT. It's OK. You had to be there. I'm still laughing. Really hard.

    Shari
    "Hey, thanks for the bracelet! Was that one for me?" - Michael Anthony to me in the Golden Ring in Grand Rapids, MI July 9, 2004
    July 9, 2004 - Mike pressed a guitar pick into my hand!
    "We're in the right place!" EVH @ The Joe in Detroit, July 10, 2004
    "Hey! What's up!?" - Mikey, upon recognizing me in the Golden Ring in Chicago after getting his second bracelet, July 21, 2004
    "What is uuuuuuuuuup!!!???" - Mike to me in Detroit, May 12th, 2005, after receiving third bracelet.
    "You found me again!" - Mike to me in Detroit, Nov. 2, 2007

 

 

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