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  1. #1
    Atomic Punk
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    05.31.14 @ 08:17 PM
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    So, What's The Point Of SUVs Anyway?

    I had to run some stuff out to the dump today. I'd loaded up my little Nissan pickup truck with crud and got to the waste management center (dump) where I waited for about ten minutes in line. With time on my hands I looked up and down the pair of lines of vehicles and something stood out - all of the SUVs were towing a trailer. That got me to thinking, an SUV is a glorified truck yet people don't want to put things that you put in the back if a truck into their SUV. This is hillarious, these people spent $30,000 to $55,000 on a truck that they can't haul anything with. There was a Subrban, an Explorer and a Hummer and each was towing a sad little trailer.
    It dawned on me that we often get SUVs at the motel with those "Thule" cargo carriers strapped to the roof. Why would you buy something so big yet you can't load your gear in it? When I was a kid, we could load up five people and all of our lugage into our Dodge Colt station wagon. When we'd go camping with Dad we'd take his '63 Nova station wagon and again, we could get all of our gear crammed into it. What's the deal with these SUVs that you can't load all of your stuff into them? Is that the problem? If that's the case then isn't strapping one of those cargo carriers or hauling stuff in a trailer admitting defeat? I swear, you might as well paint the French flag on those things.

    On the other hand, I like driving to the dump because there are other, true, trucks out there. Big dump trucks and sanitation trucks of every shape and the big-rigs too. They're all doing what they were designed to do - haul things. There is no wasted asthetics, just pure function. Needless to say, my nipples are still erect after being around these monsters for a while.
    "Nothing is ever what it seems but everything is exactly what it is." - B. Banzai


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  2. #2
    Atomic Punk LLFHS's Avatar
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    07.30.17 @ 08:59 PM
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    I thought SUV's were to make soccer-moms more dangerous than they already were.
    LowLifeFlatHeadScum

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    Your Hacked Nude Photo Here!

  3. #3
    Atomic Punk TheresOnlyOneWay's Avatar
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    11.30.17 @ 11:15 AM
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    Quote Originally Posted by Axxman300
    On the other hand, I like driving to the dump because there are other, true, trucks out there.
    I personally like to stay away from dumps.
    Sammy did the impossible. He made Van Halen better. Deal with it.
    Michael did the impossible. He made Van Halen better. Deal with it.
    --------------------------
    IAMA I am a stage hand for big mainstream artists. (self.IAmA)

    Q: who was the biggest douche that you have worked with?

    A: Eddie Van Halen hands down he threatened all the stage hands that if we wernt all pushed to the side when he got off stage that he would "bash our faces in"

    Now the new David-Lee-Roth-Van Halen album, “Tokyo Dome In Concert,” is available for purchase, and it’s super, super, super, super, super, super, crazy bad. - Doug Elfman

  4. #4
    Good Enough
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    07.19.13 @ 08:52 PM
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    Default While I have seen a bit of small-girl-big-SUV-syndrome...

    ...the biggest assholes are uniformly my fellow white thirty-something males, who actually try to drag me in the damn things.

    It's not sporting at all, but their attitudes make them so much fun to humiliate.

    After a steady diet of German and Japanese cuisine, I'd swear the ride gets the occasional hankerin' for nice, bloody chunks of big ol' dumbass SUV beef...

    Last edited by The SLAWTERHOUSE Bug; 03.21.05 at 08:55 PM.
    Classic Van Halen. In Pace Requiescant.

    "...sure I'm on zoloft. That's so I don't hafta kill none o' y'all..." - Mike Tyson

    and by the way...

    Eat Us And Smile.

  5. #5
    Niners Fan! SactoFan's Avatar
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    Buy it if you want it, but at LEAST get some off-road dirt on it ONCE!!
    Can't stop...addicted to the shindig...

  6. #6
    Atomic Punk ZeoBandit's Avatar
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    12.11.17 @ 06:24 AM
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    Quote Originally Posted by LowLifeFlatHeadScum
    I thought SUV's were to make soccer-moms more dangerous than they already were.
    Yep!
    "What we are dealing with here, is a complete lack of respect for the law" - Jackie Gleason, Smokey and the Bandit

    www.geocaching.com - The site where you are the search engine.

  7. #7
    Sinner's Swing! InTheBeginning's Avatar
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    07.20.17 @ 05:17 PM
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    I think it's the mindset of today's soccer-mom mentality. They want to take it all with them but still have their space and freedom inside the truck for little Jimmy and Sarah to play and watch DVD's.

    I'm kinda embarrassed to be in the same age group!

    I never see any Expeditions, Navigators or Suburbans in the mountains when I'm up there with my '98 Rodeo <with my stuff inside>
    A little more volume in the headphones please.

  8. #8
    Sinner's Swing! twonabomber's Avatar
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    12.08.16 @ 03:21 AM
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    Quote Originally Posted by Axxman300
    This is hillarious, these people spent $30,000 to $55,000 on a truck that they can't haul anything with.
    i remember an SUV ad that looked like it was the aftermath of Mt. St. Helens, and the tagline said "c'mon, you're not going to drive a $40,000 SUV here."

    i've put all kinds of crap in the back of my Jeep...small load of firewood...the old 14 inch tires and wheels from my last car...drove home from Toledo with a Jeep motor in the back...it hasn't been all "clean" stuff. i do need a trailer when i want to drag some 4x8 sheets of plywood home though.

  9. #9
    The Frantic Antic TopTimi's Avatar
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    06.14.13 @ 10:39 PM
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    I still drive my '87 GMC Jimmy that I bought new my senior yr in high school. I haul a kinds of crap in that thing. When the plywood doesn't fit, I tie up on top. The only thing I will tow is a boat.

  10. #10
    On Fire DaveB's Avatar
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    07.23.09 @ 07:52 PM
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    If you live in the northeast (like me) and have to drive regularly in a foot of snow on an unplowed roadway(like me), it's pretty obvious why you'd want one...but if you live somewhere without snow, and aren't going to use it for off road/utility, then you're right, those people are fools...
    Last edited by DaveB; 03.22.05 at 07:58 AM.

  11. #11
    Baluchitherium mistere's Avatar
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    07.11.09 @ 03:27 AM
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    I'm over it.
    I'm not even going to get into the hypocrasy inherent in the proliferation
    of said, but here's the thing; If the fucker is too big for you to keep in
    one lane/ one parking spot/ on your side of the road, get a goddammned
    Geo. Cause I'm gonna hold my line and scratch that bastard up if you
    insist on getting in my way, I could use a new paint job.

    Smiles everyone, smiles.
    Last edited by mistere; 03.22.05 at 10:28 AM.

  12. #12
    Hang 'Em High janthraxx's Avatar
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    11.18.14 @ 07:57 PM
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    I really hate when I see someone driving a hummer/SUV/monster truck when you just KNOW that thing has never hauled anything or seen a fleck of offroad/mountain dirt
    "Suck a fat one, faggot."
    -MikeL, showing off that sharp wit of his.

    "You may recognize some of these chemicals. Let's start with cyanide...The one the Aum Shinrikyo cult attempted to use to commit mass murder in a Tokyo subway in May 1995...The same cyanide produced routinely--1.4 million tons per year--for use in the production of plastics, adhesives, cosmetics, pharmaceuticals, and so on. It seems that those who put small amounts of cyanide in subways are terrorists. But those who produce it in mass quantities and contaminate broad reaches of soil, water, and air, killing countless living beings, are not terrorists, but rather capitalists, and are counted among the finest and most powerful people on the planet."

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  13. #13
    Atomic Punk jrk5150's Avatar
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    12.11.17 @ 02:34 PM
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    What's the use of a Camry? Why is an SUV "worse" than a Camry, which is "worse" than a little fuckin Metro?

    It's all sheet metal with an engine and wheels. If you're gonna bitch about anything, you better be driving the smallest available car that has a hybrid engine, otherwise, shut up, because there are "better" choices than yours too.

  14. #14
    Atomic Punk MikeL's Avatar
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    03.03.15 @ 08:31 PM
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    I kinda wonder about the bitching, too. I could really care less what a person wants to drive.

  15. #15
    Atomic Punk
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    05.31.14 @ 08:17 PM
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    Quote Originally Posted by MikeL
    I kinda wonder about the bitching, too. I could really care less what a person wants to drive.

    I wasn't bitching, I was making an observation.

    But...

    I care because we have a huge chunk of our armed forces in Iraq and the Persian Gulf to ensure the free flow of oil that is being wasted on vehicles that get low gas mileage.

    I care because in California, many of these people driving these SUVs support politicians and laws that have banned oil drilling off of much of the California coast.Nothing fries me more than a Greenpeace sticker on an SUV.

    I care because so many people who drive SUVs don't understand that they are driving a heavy truck, and that these vehicles handle differently than the BMW that they traded in when they bought their monster.

    I care because most of these SUV drivers think that 4 wheel drive is magic, so they can drive at 75mph in driving rain.

    I care because SUVs represent everything that is evil with big business' access to the federal government. Specail exemptions for emition and safety that have cost both lives and the environment.

    But hey, if you want to drive around in an over-priced lie, that's your choice.
    "Nothing is ever what it seems but everything is exactly what it is." - B. Banzai


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