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  1. #1
    Atomic Punk Van Squalen's Avatar
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    Default The VH Net Community - Your Revelations

    Like many of you, I've lurked around the web for some time observing the cyber antics of the Van Halen 'net crew, whether it was the archaic official site, the VHND, the PD, the Army, the Forums/Links, DDLR dot whatever, Guitars 101 or VH Strungout or ClassicVanHalen.com, the red rocker's official site, mad anthony's cafe...even that little yawning black hole GaryCherone.com. Even, dare I say, pop-up temporary wastoid blog tributes like the ________who shall not be named, or Hitchworld.

    I've lurked at most of 'em over the years, only significantly contributing to one of 'em in the last year or so (I know I don't have to tell any of YOU da Links is da shizznit, but several of the others are good eatins', too).

    Anyway, so what are some of the biggest surprises you've incurred over the years, in regards to the supposed rest of the Van Halen world, outside of your local zone? What blew your mind, popped your bubble, what assertions or opinions or sects of folks just made you go..."whoa."? What various enigmas, riddles, and mysteries came forth from the web wasteland regarding Van Halen for you? Disregard the obvious fact of how the Sam & Dave wars just never die. That one's a given.

    Here's my top ten list of Van Halen mind boggling conundrums from the Net...

    1: Women and Children First.

    It is MANY people's least favorite VH album. What. The. Fuck. This truly staggers. WACF is one half of the core of Van Halen.

    2: The III tour praise.

    Lots of folks maintain this was among Ed's best playing. I have to think it's 'cause a lot of these same folks never saw some of the old stuff live. I mean, sure, Ed DID rip it up on the III tour, but no more so than the outings for Balance or Diver Down. IMO, of course. I guess people were just jonesing for So This is Love. Sam, take note. Play some old shit. Mix it up, have Ed play some old Montrose to even it out, I guess.

    3: The shroud of secrecy.

    Say what you want about the band's camp and their consistent lack of support for the fans...they do manage to keep things under wraps enough to levy all the hearsay and the rumors as just that. Nobody even moderately official manages to slip something juicy and truthful on a message board? You'd think Valerie or even Mikey might get bored sometime. Or vindictive. Rightfully so, I might add.

    4: The transfer of power from the PD to the Links/Army.

    Interesting to say the least, if you were watching over the long term. Senior and junior mongers, doing the mod shuffle, alliances and civil wars, satellite sites abounding. As bad as the band is with their stupid ass unnecessary politics, they're nowhere near the level of absurdity their so-called fans achieve.

    5: The self-proclaimed Rothtard culture.

    What is understood need not be discussed. Just kiddin.' Seriously, by my calculations, better than 90% of titled 'Tards never saw Dave live with VH. And sorry, but even the most massive pre-85 bootleg collection will not lend you credence to knowing how it really was. It's amusing. I suppose it's more about jumping on a rebellious cause bandwagon more than anything else. This is understandable. Yet the undying potency of this cult is truly amazing at times. Americans love classic shit. Coke, Van Halen, the 60s, the 80s, T-Birds and Mustangs. I love Dave, I love Sam, and if they ever worked it out with Dave, that'd make a lot of people happy. I just hope Dave wouldn't dissapoint. 'Cause back in the day, you had to like the skittin' and the scattin' through the rock and roll to fully appreciate. Know whatta mean?

    6: Fair Warning slack.

    This is probably my biggest aneurysm. More than a few times I've seen the words "Fair Warning is overrated." on my monitor. True blasphemy. Thanks for the heart murmur, assholes.

    7: The class (or lack thereof).

    People talking about Mikey not needing to be there, or that Ed's kid is fat. Man, but the band don't NEED you.

    8: The tequila empire backlash.

    Who fucking cares? Good for Sam. It's actually good fuckin' tequila, all Halen business deals aside. You can bet if the Diamond had created some product called Pasadena Dave's California Sippin' Whiskey, people woulda racked up the stock. Myself included. Know whatta mean?

    9: The RoR Hall of Fame.

    I guess we really need this to happen for validation. Not sure why.

    10: How Many Say I.

    That there's even one fan who digs this song is cracking good impossible fun.

    Whew. That was harder than I thought. Sorry.

  2. #2
    Top Of The World tingting78's Avatar
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    fair warning IS overrated.

  3. #3
    Atomic Punk Van Squalen's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by tingting78
    fair warning IS overrated.
    So is Pennsylvania.

    Think you missed the gist, punkin.

  4. #4
    Baluchitherium Rovus's Avatar
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    Favorite VH Album

    Van Halen
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    Ain't Talkin' 'Bout Love
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    07.09.11 @ 09:31 PM
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    I foresee his thread being moved to VH Discussion or Opinions/Speculation.
    Bobby Cohn: Who's going to be at Waynestock?
    Wayne Campbell: Um, uh...Aerosmith & Pearl Jam!
    Garth Algar: Ha ha ha ha ho!
    Bobby: Who else?
    Garth: Uh, me...and...and Wayne...
    Wayne: ...and uh...VAN HALEN!!!
    Garth: Wow. Van Halen. Who else?
    Bobby: Yeah, who else?
    Wayne: Uh, an old man fashioning a kayak out of a log?

    - Wayne's World 2

    "God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at the same time." - Robin Williams

    "Continuous effort - not strength or intelligence - is the key to unlocking our potential." - Winston Churchill

  5. #5
    Atomic Punk LLFHS's Avatar
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    Anything Mike played on
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    Quote Originally Posted by Van Squalen
    So is Pennsylvania.

    Think you missed the gist, punkin.

    FUCKIN OUCH! LOL

    Don't mince words or anything, Squalen!
    LowLifeFlatHeadScum

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  6. #6
    Atomic Punk Van Squalen's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by LowLifeFlatHeadScum
    FUCKIN OUCH! LOL

    Don't mince words or anything, Squalen!
    <snicker>

    You of all people know the wrath of the 'Warning, methinks. You've struck a poor boy down a time or two.

  7. #7
    Atomic Punk LLFHS's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Van Squalen
    <snicker>

    You of all people know the wrath of the 'Warning, methinks. You've struck a poor boy down a time or two.

    Warning? Don't be taking the name in vain now, son. God's watching yo' ass.
    LowLifeFlatHeadScum

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  8. #8
    Atomic Punk Van Squalen's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by LowLifeFlatHeadScum
    Warning? Don't be taking the name in vain now, son. God's watching yo' ass.
    And the archangel David Lee Raphael said to thee, "Carry yon Swing of Sinners banner unto battle, and all who stand against its sacred glory shall fall unto Cheronal disgrace."

    And the prophet Templeman said, "Let there be a light, a glorious light such as the blinding brilliance of a Sunday afternoon in the park."

    And there was light.

    And it was good.

  9. #9
    Eruption Badhorsie551's Avatar
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    all of them
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    pretty much all of them
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    04.02.13 @ 10:13 AM
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    ugh women and children first

    production isnt up to par to the previous albums
    songwriting isnt either

    I like the album but i just dont pop it in and jam on it like the others.

    Fair Warning owns!

    Eddies playing on the balance tour? Sure he played good on it but it was a new beginning for him on that tour and he played much better on the 3 tour. IMO from a guitarist standpoint.
    What do you mean i dont believe in god?
    I talk to him everyday!

  10. #10
    Atomic Punk LLFHS's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Van Squalen
    And the archangel David Lee Raphael said to thee, "Carry yon Swing of Sinners banner unto battle, and all who stand against its sacred glory shall fall unto Cheronal disgrace."

    And the prophet Templeman said, "Let there be a light, a glorious light such as the blinding brilliance of a Sunday afternoon in the park."

    And there was light.

    And it was good.
    Does your collection plate take checks?
    LowLifeFlatHeadScum

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  11. #11
    Atomic Punk Van Squalen's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by LowLifeFlatHeadScum
    Does your collection plate take checks?
    And all major credit cards, casino chips, and valid weekend passes to any Thai brothel.

  12. #12
    Baluchitherium mistere's Avatar
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    07.11.09 @ 03:27 AM
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    I think a lot of the negative love for WACF comes from the fact that Ed
    has been quoted as saying it was his least favorite album (this was when
    Dave was in the band - I'd be curious to see how he ranks em all now).
    And as far as the Dave stuff goes, I guess I can see Ed's point; it was
    a lot of his older material, and even compared with DD, there are one
    or two fewer standout cuts.

    I'm not sure I dig the angle of the thread - not that we have to be all PC
    and all, but is this group therapy or what? "Damnit Squalen, you do this
    every time!" I guess I was surprised that there seems to be a lot of VH
    fans with less than progressive taste, and in general, seem to be a
    pretty conservative bunch. But hey, joke em if they can't take a fuck
    right? Just illustrates another revelation that people like VH for
    different reasons.

    But for all the petty squabbles and general jack-assery, I like
    it here. Good vibes and something to be learned occasionally.
    At the end of the day, if you're down with VH, you're cool with
    me.

  13. #13
    Atomic Punk Van Squalen's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by mistere

    I'm not sure I dig the angle of the thread - not that we have to be all PC
    and all, but is this group therapy or what? "Damnit Squalen, you do this
    every time!" I guess I was surprised that there seems to be a lot of VH
    fans with less than progressive taste, and in general, seem to be a
    pretty conservative bunch. But hey, joke em if they can't take a fuck
    right? Just illustrates another revelation that people like VH for
    different reasons.

    But for all the petty squabbles and general jack-assery, I like
    it here. Good vibes and something to be learned occasionally.
    At the end of the day, if you're down with VH, you're cool with
    me.
    LOL...ditto that, Mister E, on the amount of conservative VH fans. I was just talkin' out loud, no therapy sessions required. Besides, my long post threads rarely last too long....people get bored before they finish. Agreed, people like VH for different reasons, and this is a good thing.

    I thought Ed was on record as stating Diver was his least favorite LP. Either way, I still believe the inclusion of Romeo, Whiskey, and Simple Rhyme automatically hoist WACF up past a bulk of the VH body of work.

  14. #14
    Hang 'Em High MAX's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Van Squalen
    4: The transfer of power from the PD to the Links/Army.

    Interesting to say the least, if you were watching over the long term. Senior and junior mongers, doing the mod shuffle, alliances and civil wars, satellite sites abounding. As bad as the band is with their stupid ass unnecessary politics, they're nowhere near the level of absurdity their so-called fans achieve.

    5: The self-proclaimed Rothtard culture.

    Seriously, by my calculations, better than 90% of titled 'Tards never saw Dave live with VH.
    I have seen Dave live with VH and expect a retort sheep. lol.
    EAT US AND SMILE!!!!

    "Please don't take my teddy bear... Please!!!" - diamondsgirl's Oscar nominated dramatic scene for best actress of 2007

    "and by Van Halen, I mean David Lee Roth" - diamondsgirl on Van Halen

  15. #15
    Eruption te5150's Avatar
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    Hey Squalen. Cool list. Since you did ask, I gotta say the surprises that come to mind are two.

    First, the bad. DLR-only fans come off as a miserable, seething lot. I still can't figure this one out. Why the hostility toward Sammy Hagar? Like you wouldn't take the call if Eddie rang ya? Sheesh.

    Second, the good. The common bond of enjoying a body of music (or half of it, see above), is an awfully thin one, I think. Add to it the anonymity of the 'Net, and those are the ingredients for, um, whatever the opposite of this place is. Meaning, unless I jump into a squabble, most everyone around here is friendly to me and to each other. It's quite refreshing. And the kindness stems from the fact that we all like Van Halen? Hey, that's cool.

 

 

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