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Thread: Spanking Kids

  1. #1
    Sinner's Swing! jimmy's Avatar
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    Default Spanking Kids

    Just wondering what your take on spanking your kids on the butt when they've acted up? I am talking just hand on the bottom.

    I wasn't spanked as a child, but it retrospect, it might have been a good idea?
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    Hot sauce on everything Red's Avatar
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    Default

    I think it's the right thing to do, at times.

    I don't believe in abuse, but I don't believe in negotiating with kids, either. Or making idle threats of consequences.

    And no, I don't have kids.

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    I was spanked as a child. Borderline abused but I was a pretty wild and determined boy. I have a daughter that is almost five. As soon as she was old enough to know better, we started to discipline her. I started with a stern voice and gradually to spanking with my hand. It's true what they say, " this is gonna hurt me nore than it's gonna hurt you." So about two years ago, we were watching Dr. Phil ( I know, you don't have to say it!) And he suggested taking away something that your child likes instead of spanking. A movie adn favorite toy a trip to the park etc. to "alter" the kids behavior to a favorable outcome. IT WORKED. Try it and see if it will work for you because hitting your child will only make it alright for them to hit others.

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    I was spanked when I was little. I really didn't get it and I still don't! It didn't effect how I act now that much, just kinda showed me not to do this or that. I dunno if, when I have kids, I'll spank them or not. If they're as bad as I was at times, maybe.
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    04.30.16 @ 03:52 PM
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    Default

    Nice post, jimmy. My thoughts are--

    "Spare the rod, spoil the child."

    "I got me a hankerin' for some spankerin'." Homer J. Simpson

    If it's controlled and solely for the purpose of punishment, I say yes. I was spanked as a kid and (I think ) came out just fine.

    I would only disagree if the parent cannot control their emotions and spanks while in a fit of anger.


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    09.20.05 @ 06:14 PM
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    I was spanked as a child and when I was in my teens my father use to hit me in the mouth. When I talked back to him. But I think its wrong to hit a child. I could never do it.
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    Default

    Not a big fan of it, but I use it.
    I guess I'm just a big ol' wimp though, my Mom would hit me with her brush and that was usually enough to get me back on course. With mine I yell, scream, spank, threaten (and do) to take the X-Box privileges away for a week and it seems to phase 'em for all of five minutes...

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    Baluchitherium KT's Avatar
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    08.08.17 @ 07:44 PM
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    Default could go on all day about this...

    Quote Originally Posted by Red
    I think it's the right thing to do, at times.

    I don't believe in abuse, but I don't believe in negotiating with kids, either. Or making idle threats of consequences.

    And no, I don't have kids.

    I agree with what you've said. I am not a parent but have been a teacher of 5-yr. old children for the past 10 years. Here's my take as a child from a loving home and my take as a teacher:

    I was spanked once as a child. At the earliest age, I was taught that "no" meant "no" and there was no negotiating if my parents felt strongly about something. My parents were the parents. The reason I was only spanked once is that that's all it took. From that point on, all I needed was a look...not because I was scared of my parents but because I had a healthy respect for them (THEY were the parents, not ME). As a teacher, I see too many parents who are struggling with discipline b/c they waited too long to start it when their children were young. I think anything can be overused. For example, "time-outs", taking away priveledges/toys, spanking, etc. can all be worthless if used everytime a child acts in an inappropriate way. You've got to pick your battles...children are not going to be perfect all the time (they're children and everything is a learning and teaching experience). Redirection can be a very good tool but with all discipline, you can't wait until your child is 2 or 3 yrs. old to start. I believe that you have to start early letting your child know that you are the parent and there are certain things that are non-negotiable. Spanking, in my opinion, should be a last resort and used very rarely if needed. You don't want your children to be afraid of you...that's not a healthy relationship, but they do need to learn respect. I also see too many children in my school who flat out will not follow directions. For example, you ask a child to do something, he/she doesn't do it, you ask again, etc., etc., etc. It's very frustrating for teachers when parents have not taught their children to respect adults. I would like to see parents give an instruction, give a "warning" (i.e. I need you to do this because...and if you don't this is the consequence) and then follow up with the consequence. The empty threats are complete b.s. That's a classic example of a child being the parent. Do and mean what you say or children will learn at a very early age what buttons to push and will play you like a puppet. Just my $.02 worth from a teacher's perspective.
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    Good Enough avhevhmashdlr's Avatar
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    03.10.14 @ 08:22 PM
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    Default

    im not a big fan of spanking.

    the only times when i was spanked, was when i opened my mouth and said something that my father didnt like. now, my brother is younger than me, and he now thinks it is ok to hit me when i say something he doesnt like because he saw my dad do it.

    i personally think that taking something away like a video game or toy or something the child really adores, is just fine. thats what my mom thinks works best, and it does work for me, so i dont do anything that my mom doesnt like. my bro on the other hand, aknowladges that he is punished from lets say going out side or he has a curfew, and still doesnt pay attention to it.

    spanking, if done in a household with female and male children is a very bad thing because the spanking of the female by the father is proving to the male child that hitting females/ female siblings is the correct way to act.

    that is just my opinion and please dont bash me about it.
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    I have a 6 1/2 year old and a 3 year old - both boys. We rarely have to spank them, but when taking away a toy, TV time, play time with friends, etc. doesn't work, we do do it. I was spanked as a child and so was my wife. That's just part of being a kid, IMO - you do stupid stuff and get spanked occasionally. I don't see anything wrong with it as long as it's a "last resort" and doesn't become a chronic abuse type thing.
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    07.22.17 @ 01:18 PM
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    Quote Originally Posted by ktgiles
    I agree with what you've said. I am not a parent but have been a teacher of 5-yr. old children for the past 10 years. Here's my take as a child from a loving home and my take as a teacher:

    I was spanked once as a child. At the earliest age, I was taught that "no" meant "no" and there was no negotiating if my parents felt strongly about something. My parents were the parents. The reason I was only spanked once is that that's all it took. From that point on, all I needed was a look...not because I was scared of my parents but because I had a healthy respect for them (THEY were the parents, not ME). As a teacher, I see too many parents who are struggling with discipline b/c they waited too long to start it when their children were young. I think anything can be overused. For example, "time-outs", taking away priveledges/toys, spanking, etc. can all be worthless if used everytime a child acts in an inappropriate way. You've got to pick your battles...children are not going to be perfect all the time (they're children and everything is a learning and teaching experience). Redirection can be a very good tool but with all discipline, you can't wait until your child is 2 or 3 yrs. old to start. I believe that you have to start early letting your child know that you are the parent and there are certain things that are non-negotiable. Spanking, in my opinion, should be a last resort and used very rarely if needed. You don't want your children to be afraid of you...that's not a healthy relationship, but they do need to learn respect. I also see too many children in my school who flat out will not follow directions. For example, you ask a child to do something, he/she doesn't do it, you ask again, etc., etc., etc. It's very frustrating for teachers when parents have not taught their children to respect adults. I would like to see parents give an instruction, give a "warning" (i.e. I need you to do this because...and if you don't this is the consequence) and then follow up with the consequence. The empty threats are complete b.s. That's a classic example of a child being the parent. Do and mean what you say or children will learn at a very early age what buttons to push and will play you like a puppet. Just my $.02 worth from a teacher's perspective.

    KT, I am with %100! My 7 yr old daughter is being brought up the same way you were KT. I have only had to spank her a few times. SNIC takes off her shoe and spanks the bottom of her foot. I know it sounds strange but it worked and he didn't have to spank her butt! Anyway, she KNOWS that no means no. We have never really had any problems out of her. I have seen plenty children who are lacking in the discipline department. I too have been a teacher for 12 years, 10 of those pre-school! Now I am in an elementary school, and let me tell you, I wish more parents would put their foot down! It does make it hard on us as teachers. There is only so much we can do at school! I say do whatever works best for your child.
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  12. #12
    On Fire Genghis_John's Avatar
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    08.22.16 @ 01:22 PM
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    Yes, I do believe in spanking children if the situation warrants it. I am the father of 4 children. I have spanked all of them at various times. When I mean spank, I mean a swat on the hind end. I have never "hit" my kids.

    Spanking has always gotten their attention and has shown them that we mean business. Their mother and I do not make idle threats (there is nothing more pathetic than a parent threatening their children with a spanking or other form of discipline and then not following through - kids need to know that they can trust their parents - even if it means discipline).

    Anyways, I believe they have learned that there is a limit to how much you can get away with. If you cross the line, there will be a consequence. I think this is a good life lesson. A spanking is a good way to reinforce this. Sending them for a time out is a good trick to use, but sometimes, if the situation warrants it, a good spanking will reinforce who the boss is and that "when we law down the law, that's exactly what it is"!. Do I like spanking my kids? Hell no! I feel awful, but I want to be their Dad, not their friend. Its my responsibility to teach them right from wrong. And you know what? I think they want a Dad too.

    Also, if you spank them, take the time later to sit down and talk it over with the kid. Hugs and kisses are powerful motivators as well as a swat on the backside. They need to know that you were angry with their behavior, but you still love them.

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    I use the minimal amount of punishment to change behavior. Sometimes it does come to spanking, so yes.

  14. #14
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    04.23.17 @ 12:14 PM
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    Spare the rod, spoil the child is damn right..


    I was spanked during my childhood days and I plan to do the same for my child, however it does take a responsible, mature adult to know not to go over the line of correctional spanking to abuse.

    I've seen just with my own family and their kids which ones act up and which ones don't...it's amazing to see how a little spanking will go a long way.
    Last edited by rrussou812; 03.01.05 at 04:24 PM.

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    05.31.14 @ 08:17 PM
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    As a bachelor there are two things I hate to see, a child being spanked and a child not being spanked.

    I'm in an interesting position because I was spanked as a small child by my father (twice) and my mother (maybe four times). I also got the shit beaten out of me by my scumbag, ex-con, stepfather. Nothing irks me more than people who equate spanking with abuse. My parents loved me and I could be a handfull at times and it broke their hearts to spank me and my brother. My step-scumbag-father was simpley an evil man who took pleasure in inflicting pain. Thankfully the marriage was short,but the damage was perminant. He died a few years back and I couldn't be happier.

    I don't know that I'll spank my own kids should I ever have any. But this is my own choice that I make for my own family. I make no judgement on parents who do or don't spank their own kids.
    Last edited by Axxman300; 03.01.05 at 04:41 PM.
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