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  1. #1
    Atomic Punk LLFHS's Avatar
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    Default Here's what I wanna know about the sham known as Valentine's Day...

    Why is it that you can be the greatest, most princely mutherfukkin guy the other 364 days of the year, but if you don't recognize V-Day in some way, down the shitter you go for the next 24 hours??

    Sorry.....I fell for the old "We don't have to do anything for Valentine's Day" lie about 7 years ago and every year that question still haunts me like Carol Anne's TV set.
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  2. #2
    Good Enough T.RYAN's Avatar
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    If ladies want Valentines Day so bad either make Superbowl Sunday and actual holiday or give guys Steak and Blowjob Day and we'll call it even.
    No president puts joy in my life, but Van Halen puts joy in my ears.

    Never pet a burning dog.

  3. #3
    Atomic Punk LLFHS's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by T.RYAN
    If ladies want Valentines Day so bad either make Superbowl Sunday and actual holiday or give guys Steak and Blowjob Day and we'll call it even.
    Ever consider running for office?
    LowLifeFlatHeadScum

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  4. #4
    Outta Space Cowboy Scotty's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by T.RYAN
    If ladies want Valentines Day so bad either make Superbowl Sunday and actual holiday or give guys Steak and Blowjob Day and we'll call it even.
    Fuck yes.

  5. #5
    Atomic Punk Van Squalen's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by LowLifeFlatHeadScum

    Sorry.....I fell for the old "We don't have to do anything for Valentine's Day" lie about 7 years ago and every year that question still haunts me like Carol Anne's TV set.
    Rookie.

  6. #6
    Eruption ChrisTheEdHead's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by LowLifeFlatHeadScum
    Sorry.....I fell for the old "We don't have to do anything for Valentine's Day" lie about 7 years ago and every year that question still haunts me like Carol Anne's TV set.
    Just a friendly tip...more BS lines to watch out for, since you MUST be inexperienced:
    The check's in the mail...
    Your wife/husband will never find out...

    And you need to practice "Of course that doesnt make you look fat"
    "Look, I'll pay you for it, what the f**k?!"

    "If I don't make her happy in the bedroom the wife gets bitchy for days at a time, but when I come to bed ready for action she laughs and laughs. She even laughs while I make my moves so I know I must be pleasing her as only I can do."
    The one, the only..Wengie

    "Denny Crane" - Denny Crane

  7. #7
    Atomic Punk LLFHS's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ChrisTheEdHead
    Just a friendly tip...more BS lines to watch out for, since you MUST be inexperienced:
    The check's in the mail...
    Your wife/husband will never find out...

    And you need to practice "Of course that doesnt make you look fat"

    I like this one, too:
    "It's not you....It's me."

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  8. #8
    Atomic Punk LLFHS's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Van Squalen
    Rookie.

    Alright you, I got four words for ya: Frankie Goes To Hollywood.
    Pipe down, ya little........UUUURRRRGG!!

    <takes Squalen in a headlock>

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  9. #9
    Eruption ChrisTheEdHead's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by LowLifeFlatHeadScum
    Alright you, I got four words for ya: Frankie Goes To Hollywood.
    Pipe down, ya little........UUUURRRRGG!!

    <takes Squalen in a headlock>

    Relax....dont do it
    "Look, I'll pay you for it, what the f**k?!"

    "If I don't make her happy in the bedroom the wife gets bitchy for days at a time, but when I come to bed ready for action she laughs and laughs. She even laughs while I make my moves so I know I must be pleasing her as only I can do."
    The one, the only..Wengie

    "Denny Crane" - Denny Crane

  10. #10
    Atomic Punk Van Squalen's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by LowLifeFlatHeadScum
    Alright you, I got four words for ya: Frankie Goes To Hollywood.
    Pipe down, ya little........UUUURRRRGG!!

    <takes Squalen in a headlock>

    Aw, RELAX, Scum.

    Just outta curiosity, was the perp's name Rio? Did she dance on the sand?

  11. #11
    Atomic Punk LLFHS's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Van Squalen
    Just outta curiosity, was the perp's name Rio? Did she dance on the sand?
    Nice.

    (cough!...dickwad!...cough!)
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  12. #12
    Atomic Punk Van Squalen's Avatar
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    Make a one man weep make another man sing...


  13. #13
    Baluchitherium Texas Poundcake's Avatar
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    You know, I think Valentine's day is more for the kiddos and young dating couples. Just my opinion here. I don't think of it as a big thing anymore. Now when I was dating, it was a big deal, but I think it was more for show. You know, who got the most flowers, candy from their bf. I am now more excited about my daughter's Valentine's stuff now! Here is the history of Valentine's Day.........


    As early as the fourth century B.C., the Romans engaged in an annual young man's rite to passage to the God Lupercus. The names of the teenage women were placed in a box and drawn at random by adolescent men; thus, a man was assigned a woman companion for the duration of the year, after which another lottery was staged. After eight hundred years of this cruel practice, the early church fathers sought to end this practice... They found an answer in Valentine, a bishop who had been martyred some two hundred years earlier.

    According to church tradition St. Valentine was a priest near Rome in about the year 270 A.D. At that time the Roman Emperor Claudius-II who had issued an edict forbidding marriage.
    This was around when the heyday of Roman empire had almost come to an end. Lack of quality administrators led to frequent civil strife. Learning declined, taxation increased, and trade slumped to a low, precarious level. And the Gauls, Slavs, Huns, Turks and Mongolians from Northern Europe and Asian increased their pressure on the empire's boundaries. The empire was grown too large to be shielded from external aggression and internal chaos with existing forces. Thus more of capable men were required to be recruited as soldiers and officers. When Claudius became the emperor, he felt that married men were more emotionally attached to their families, and thus, will not make good soldiers. So to assure quality soldiers, he banned marriage.
    Valentine, a bishop , seeing the trauma of young lovers, met them in a secret place, and joined them in the sacrament of matrimony. Claudius learned of this "friend of lovers," and had him arrested. The emperor, impressed with the young priest's dignity and conviction, attempted to convert him to the roman gods, to save him from certain execution. Valentine refused to recognize Roman Gods and even attempted to convert the emperor, knowing the consequences fully.
    On February 24, 270, Valentine was executed.

    "From your Valentine"
    While Valentine was in prison awaiting his fate, he came in contact with his jailor, Asterius. The jailor had a blind daughter. Asterius requested him to heal his daughter. Through his faith he miraculously restored the sight of Asterius' daughter. Just before his execution, he asked for a pen and paper from his jailor, and signed a farewell message to her "From Your Valentine," a phrase that lived ever after.


    Valentine thus become a Patron Saint, and spiritual overseer of an annual festival. The festival involved young Romans offering women they admired, and wished to court, handwritten greetings of affection on February 14. The greeting cards acquired St.Valentine's name.

    The Valentine's Day card spread with Christianity, and is now celebrated all over the world. One of the earliest card was sent in 1415 by Charles, duke of Orleans, to his wife while he was a prisoner in the Tower of London. The card is now preserved in the British Museum.
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  14. #14
    Hot sauce on everything Red's Avatar
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    I got dumped on Valentine's Day once. I was 17. We were sitting in my parents' station wagon (the Dragon Wagon ). I handed over the loot, she said thanks, and dumped me. It's funny now, but at the time I was devastated.

    She ran into my mom a few weeks ago, was asking all about me. She said she had recently divorced the guy she married 2 months after dumping me. When she asked how I'm doing, my mom just beamed and said "Oh, he's GREAT, couldn't be happier."

    Pam was like, "I'd really like to see him, I think about him a lot....."

    Yeah, honey, I know you do.

  15. #15
    The Joker BradS's Avatar
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    Everyone is different. I just use Valentines Day as another excuse to go out to dinner with my lovely lady. Some guys can't remember stuff like that. Women need to understand that. If your man is one who has a hard time remembering stuff, try to think of the other ways throughout the year that he shows you he loves you.

    C'mon ladies....chill out a little.

 

 

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