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  1. #1
    Unchained TenaciousD21's Avatar
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    01.23.03
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    30
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    California
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    Favorite VH Album

    Fair Warning
    Favorite VH Song

    Me Wise Magic, Beautiful Girls
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    01.11.12 @ 10:12 PM
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    Default Next time at Wal-Mart.....

    Things to do at Wal-Mart while your spouse/girlfriend is taking their sweet time:

    1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in peoples' carts when they aren't looking.

    2. Set all the alarm clocks in House wares to go off at 2-minute intervals.

    3 Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.

    4 Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in house wares and see what happens.

    5 Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.

    6 Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

    7 Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.

    8 When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'

    9 Look right into the security camera; use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.

    10 While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the antidepressants are.

    11 Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.

    12 In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different size funnels.

    13 Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say "PICK ME!"

    14 When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!"

    (And; last, but not least!)

    15 Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while; and, then, yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!"!
    "And I used to wonder why, then later i realized, cuz he's Eddie Fuckin Van Halen!"
    -Michael Ian Black on VH1's I Love the 80s as to why Eddie Van Halen is always smiling.

  2. #2
    Baluchitherium
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    VH, WACF, FW, 5150, OU812
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    Dreams/Unchained/InASR/5150
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    11.25.17 @ 04:30 AM
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    Default

    Ha ha ha! I am SO gonna put condoms in other people's carts! That is funny!

    "The shit I read on this site." -- Dave's Dreidel (Nov 6th, 2013)

    "Don't ever confuse talent with fame." -- Bob Lefsetz

    "There's very little greatness in this world, but in the crucible of quality there's a special corner reserved for Van Halen." -- Bob Lefsetz

  3. #3
    The Atomic Punk
    Join Date
    03.13.04
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    pa
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    fair warning
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    unchained
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    12.22.07 @ 10:11 AM
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    Default wal-mart

    First thing first.Wal-mart sucks.They destroy the economy of every town they slime into.Ask the people who work there for 6 bucks an hour.They come into town with low prices untill all the competitors go under.Then like theives in the night they slowly raise there prices.I will never set foot in that
    rat store.Besides there is target,or K-mart to go to.At least they have union labor.You cant support a family working at walmart!!!there SCUM!

    Thanks :joey-tromollo

  4. #4
    Good Enough ScottRoberts's Avatar
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    07.31.00
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    St. Louis, MO, U.S.A.
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    04.05.12 @ 09:06 AM
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    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by joey-tromollo
    First thing first.Wal-mart sucks.They destroy the economy of every town they slime into.Ask the people who work there for 6 bucks an hour.They come into town with low prices untill all the competitors go under.Then like theives in the night they slowly raise there prices.I will never set foot in that
    rat store.Besides there is target,or K-mart to go to.At least they have union labor.You cant support a family working at walmart!!!there SCUM!

    Thanks :joey-tromollo
    Tell us what you really think, Joey.

    I'm not anti-Wal-Mart or anything (I still shop there ocassionally), but I've found that the Target close to where I live is SO much better. There's less crowds, cleaner, more spacious stores, the cashiers are far better looking (usually beautiful 18-year-old girls compared to Wal-Mart's fat-ass, slowpoke, middle-aged women), and SURPRISE! -- the prices are just as low on average. It's like, "Wow! How come I didn't start shopping here sooner?"

    BTW, I think I'll try the fitting room/no toilet paper gag.
    Scott Roberts
    The Official Scott Roberts Blog - http://www.scottrobertsweb.com
    FORMER owner of The VH Trade Site - http://www.vhtrading.com

  5. #5
    On Fire IconJJ's Avatar
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    01.05.05
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    41
    Location
    Virginia
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    Jump
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    01.09.07 @ 07:39 PM
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    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by ScottRoberts
    the cashiers are far
    better looking (usually beautiful 18-year-old
    girls compared to Wal-Mart's fat-ass, slowpoke,
    middle-aged women)?"
    LMAO!!!!! Thats funny cause it's so true......
    ~Van Halen will live on thru their music, despite their fate as a band~

    *1,000 poster on the ORIGINAL "Beautiful Girls" Thread*

    The Original BaronVanHalen

  6. #6
    Good Enough Phatie's Avatar
    Join Date
    11.25.03
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    52
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    took the 5:15 to Kalamazoo
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    09.01.07 @ 03:35 PM
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    Premium Member

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    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by joey-tromollo
    First thing first.Wal-mart sucks.They destroy the economy of every town they slime into.Ask the people who work there for 6 bucks an hour.They come into town with low prices untill all the competitors go under.Then like theives in the night they slowly raise there prices.I will never set foot in that
    rat store.Besides there is target,or K-mart to go to.At least they have union labor.You cant support a family working at walmart!!!there SCUM!

    Thanks :joey-tromollo
    Joey, try this. It worked for me

    http://www.better-english.com/easier/theyrec.htm

  7. #7
    Good Enough
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    12.19.16 @ 05:15 PM
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    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by joey-tromollo
    First thing first.Wal-mart sucks.They destroy the economy of every town they slime into.Ask the people who work there for 6 bucks an hour.They come into town with low prices untill all the competitors go under.Then like theives in the night they slowly raise there prices.I will never set foot in that
    rat store.Besides there is target,or K-mart to go to.At least they have union labor.You cant support a family working at walmart!!!there SCUM!

    Thanks :joey-tromollo
    Wow. Sorry they fired ya.

  8. #8
    Atomic Punk jrk5150's Avatar
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    12.12.01
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    Massachusetts by way of the Great State of New Jersey
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    12.11.17 @ 07:19 AM
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    Default

    I'll say this, the Walmart employee benefits are cheaper than mine, and they make them available to part time employees, which is pretty rare.

    And fuck unions, they just cause high prices and layoffs. Killed the American car industry. On the other hand, not saying they aren't necessary in some places, though. From what I hear about Home Depot, wouldn't shock me if they got in there.

 

 

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