Follow us on...
Follow us on Twitter Follow us on Facebook Watch us on YouTube
Register
Results 1 to 9 of 9

Thread: The Love Dress

  1. #1
    Baluchitherium
    Join Date
    06.10.00
    Posts
    4,228
    Last Online

    12.31.69 @ 04:00 PM
    Likes
    0
    Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts


    >> > >
    >> > > > > The mother-in-law stopped unexpectedly by the
    >> > > > > recently married couple's
    >> > > > > house.
    >> > > > > She rang the doorbell and stepped into the house to
    >> > > > > see her
    >> > > > > daughter-in-law
    >> > > > > standing naked by the door.
    >> > > > >
    >> > > > > "What are you doing," the mother-in-law asked.
    >> > > > >
    >> > > > > "I am waiting for my husband to come home from
    >> > > > > work," the
    >> > > > > daughter-in-law replied.
    >> > > > >
    >> > > > > "Why are you naked," asked the mother-in-law.
    >> > > > >
    >> > > > > "This is my love dress," the daughter-in-law
    >> > > > > replied.
    >> > > > >
    >> > > > > "LOVE DRESS! You are naked," said the mother-in-law.
    >> > > > >
    >> > > > >
    >> > > > > "But my husband loves it when I wear this dress. It
    >> > > > > makes him happy and
    >> > > > > he
    >> > > > > makes me happy," said the daughter-in-law. "I would
    >> > > > > appreciate you
    >> > > > > leaving
    >> > > > > now because he will be home any minute," the
    >> > > > > daughter-in-law continued.
    >> > > > >
    >> > > > > Intrigued by all of this romantic stuff, the
    >> > > > > mother-in-law left. On the
    >> > > > > way
    >> > > > > home, she thought about the "LOVE DRESS" and got an
    >> > > > > idea. She undressed,
    >> > > > > showered,
    >> > > > > applied her best perfume, and waited by the door
    >> > > > > for her husband to
    >> > > > > come
    >> > > > > home.
    >> > > > > Finally, the pickup truck drove up the drive way,
    >> > > > > and she took her place
    >> > > > > by
    >> > > > > the door. The father-in-law opened the door, and
    >> > > > > immediately saw his
    >> > > > > wife
    >> > > > > naked by the door.
    >> > > > >
    >> > > > > "What are you doing," he asked.
    >> > > > >
    >> > > > > "This is my love dress," the mother-in-law replied.
    >> > > > >
    >> > > > > "Needs ironing," he replied.

  2. #2
    Baluchitherium
    Join Date
    06.10.00
    Posts
    4,228
    Last Online

    12.31.69 @ 04:00 PM
    Likes
    0
    Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    They keep telling us to get in
    * touch with our bodies. Mine
    * isn't all that communicative
    * but I heard from it the other
    * day after I said, "Body, how'd
    you like to go to the six
    o'clock class in vigorous
    toning?" Clear as a bell my
    body said, "listen bitch...do
    it and you die."
    ______________________________________________The trouble with some women is
    that they get all excited
    * about nothing and then they
    * marry him.
    _____________________________________________

  3. #3
    Beloved Glenn's Avatar
    Join Date
    11.16.99
    Posts
    16,192
    Last Online

    02.13.15 @ 08:56 AM
    Likes
    0
    Liked 8 Times in 1 Post


    Donor



    ------------------
    The Michael Jordan of Van Halen websites!!!
    www.vhlinks.com

    Hello Mr. Uppercut, how nice to have avoided you

  4. #4
    Super Duper Frontman YankeeRose's Avatar
    Join Date
    10.13.99
    Location
    I am a Van Halenized Canadian!
    Posts
    12,837
    Favorite VH Album

    OU812
    Favorite VH Song

    Why Can't This Be Love
    Last Online

    12.11.17 @ 05:55 PM
    Likes
    97
    Liked 197 Times in 123 Posts

    LOL! THat was a good one Angel.

    ------------------
    Right Now you're reading my post!
    She's a vision from coast to coast...
    Kicking back ain't kicking you...
    Don't disturb my paradise,
    i've asked you once, I asked you nice...
    Up Front Fanatics!

  5. #5
    Baluchitherium JWS_5150's Avatar
    Join Date
    06.26.00
    Age
    33
    Location
    Charleston, SC
    Posts
    4,366
    Favorite VH Album

    Fair Warning
    Favorite VH Song

    Right Now
    Last Online

    05.18.09 @ 11:19 PM
    Likes
    0
    Liked 1 Time in 1 Post


    Donor



    ------------------
    Classic VH. Ain't nothin' like it in the world.

    Dirty Faced Kid - not literally

    Strange is beautiful.

  6. #6
    Baluchitherium
    Join Date
    06.10.00
    Posts
    4,228
    Last Online

    12.31.69 @ 04:00 PM
    Likes
    0
    Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts


    >Cute Snippets
    >Adam and Eve had an ideal marriage. He didn't have
    >to hear about all the
    >men she could have married, and she didn't have to
    >hear about the way his mother cooked.
    >_________________________________________
    >An elderly woman died last month. Having never
    >married, she requested no
    >male pallbearers. In her handwritten instructions
    >for her memorial
    >service, she wrote, "They wouldn't take me out while
    >I was alive, I
    >don't want them to take me out when I'm dead.
    >___________________________________________ _
    >A police recruit was asked during the exam, "What
    >would you do if you
    >had to arrest your own mother?" He said, "Call for
    >backup."
    >___________________________________________ _
    >A Sunday school teacher asked the children just
    >before she dismissed
    >them to go to church, "And why is it necessary to be
    >quiet in church?"
    >Annie replied, "Because people are sleeping."
    >___________________________________________ _
    >A Sunday School teacher asked her class why Joseph
    >and Mary took Jesus
    >with them to Jerusalem. A small child replied: "They
    >couldn't get a baby-sitter."
    >___________________________________________ __
    >A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten
    >Commandments with her
    >five and six year olds. After explaining the
    >commandment to "honor thy
    >father and thy mother," she asked "Is there a
    >commandment that teaches
    >us how to treat our brothers and sisters?" Without
    >missing a beat one little boy answered, "Thou shall not
    >kill."
    >___________________________________________ _
    >At Sunday School they were teaching how God created
    >everything,
    >including human beings. Little Johnny seemed
    >especially intent when they
    >told him how Eve was created out of one of Adam's
    >ribs. Later in the week his mother noticed him lying down
    >as though he were ill, and said,
    >Johnny what is the matter? Little Johnny responded,
    >"I have a pain in my side. I think I'm going to have a
    >wife."
    >___________________________________________ _
    >A very dirty little fellow came in from playing in
    >the yard and asked
    >his mother, "Who am I?" Ready to play the game she
    >said, "I don't know!
    >Who are you?" "WOW!" cried the child. "Mrs. Johnson
    >was right! She said I was so dirty, my own mother
    >wouldn't recognize me!"
    >___________________________________________ _
    >A wise schoolteacher sends this note to all parents
    >on the first day of school: "If you promise not to believe
    >everything your child says
    >happens at school, I'll promise not to believe
    >everything he says happens at home.
    >

  7. #7
    Baluchitherium
    Join Date
    06.10.00
    Posts
    4,228
    Last Online

    12.31.69 @ 04:00 PM
    Likes
    0
    Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    The Lone Ranger and Tonto are camping in the desert, set up
    >>> > their tent, and are asleep. Some hours later, The Lone Ranger wakes
    >>his
    >>> > faithful friend.
    >>> >
    >>> >"Tonto, look up at the sky and tell me what you see."
    >>> >
    >>> > Tonto replies, "Me see millions of stars."
    >>> >
    >>> > "What does that tell you?" ask The Lone Ranger.
    >>> >
    >>> > Tonto ponders for a minute.
    >>> >
    >>> > "Astronomically speaking, it tells me that there are
    >>> > millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets.
    >>> >
    >>> > Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo.
    >>> >
    >>> >Time wise, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three.
    >>> >
    >>> >Theologically, it's evident the Lord is all powerful and we are small
    >>and
    >>> >insignificant.
    >>> >
    >>> > Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow.
    What
    >>it
    >>> >tell you,
    >>> > Kemo Sabi?"
    >>> >
    >>> > The Lone Ranger is silent for a moment, then speaks.
    >>> >
    >>> > "Tonto, you idiot, someone has stolen our tent."

  8. #8
    Baluchitherium
    Join Date
    06.10.00
    Posts
    4,228
    Last Online

    12.31.69 @ 04:00 PM
    Likes
    0
    Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Q. What should you do if you see your ex-husband rolling around iN pain on
    > the ground?
    > * > > > > A. Shoot him again.
    >
    > Q. How can you tell when a man is well-hung?
    > * > > > > A. When you can just barely slip your finger
    > in between his neck and the noose.
    >
    > Q. How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
    > * > > > > A. One - he just holds it up there and waits
    > for the world to revolve around him
    >
    > Q. How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
    > * > > > > A. Three - one to screw in the bulb, and two
    > to listen to him brag about the screwing part.
    >
    > Q. What do you call a handcuffed man?
    > * > > > > A. Trustworthy.
    >
    > Q. What does it mean when a man is in your bed
    > gasping for breath and calling your name?
    > * > > > > A. You didn't hold the pillow down long enough.
    >
    > Q. Why do doctors slap babies butts right after they're born?
    > * > > > > A. To knock the penises off the smart ones.
    >
    > Q. Why do men name their penises?
    > * > > > > A. Because they don't like the idea of having
    > a stranger make 90% of their decisions.
    >
    > Q. Why does it take 100,000,000 sperm to fertilize one egg?
    > * > > > > A. Because not one will stop and ask directions.
    >
    > Q. Why do female black widow spiders kill their males after mating?
    > * > > > > A. To stop the snoring before it starts.
    >
    > Q: How does a man keep his youth?
    > * > > > > A: By giving her money, furs and diamonds.
    >
    >
    >
    >

  9. #9
    Good Enough Cabo Kid's Avatar
    Join Date
    02.16.00
    Age
    48
    Location
    Fayetteville, AR
    Posts
    2,679
    Favorite VH Album

    VH 1
    Favorite VH Song

    On Fire
    Last Online

    08.27.15 @ 02:07 AM
    Likes
    0
    Liked 9 Times in 4 Posts


    Donor

    "Thanks for coming tonight everyone! Don't forget to tip your waitresses and please come back! Next show in 30 minutes!"



    Awesome, ANGEL!!!

    One of those jokes must explain why I am such a dumb-dumb!

    ------------------
    "Whenever we come to Milwaukee, we try and have a special surprise for you here and tonite we got a whole sh*tload of 'em for you and right now, we want to whip the first one at you here! Y'know, usually Ed doesn't sing this part of the song and when he does tonight for the first time, you'll find out why!"

    -David Lee Roth, Milwaukee 1980

 

 

Similar Threads

  1. Anyone know how to "dress" frets?
    By AFU in forum Guitar Room
    Replies: 6
    Last Post: 04.11.05, 06:35 AM
  2. When It's Love VS. Love Walks In
    By Hulk5150 in forum VH Songs/Albums/Videos
    Replies: 13
    Last Post: 03.08.05, 03:49 PM
  3. I love
    By Fabulous Shadow aka VHL in forum VH Fans Meeting Place (Non-Music)
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 02.25.02, 01:27 PM
  4. Feel Your Love Tonight vs. So This Is Love?
    By Dan Halen in forum VH Songs/Albums/Videos
    Replies: 18
    Last Post: 04.04.01, 07:28 AM
  5. Geena Davis' Dress
    By dropdeadlegs in forum VH Fans Meeting Place (Non-Music)
    Replies: 9
    Last Post: 09.15.00, 05:29 AM

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •