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Thread: Blondes

  1. #1
    Baluchitherium
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    A blonde decides one day that she is sick and tired of all these blond jokes=
    ,=20
    and of how all blondes are perceived as stupid, so she decides to show her=20
    husband that blondes really are smart. While her husband is off at work, she=
    =20
    decides that she is going to paint a couple of rooms in the house. The next=20
    day, right after her husband leaves for work, she gets down to the=20
    task at hand. Her husband arrives home at 5:30 and smells the distinctive=20
    smell of paint. He walks into the living room and finds his wife lying on th=
    e=20
    floor in a pool of sweat. He notices that she is wearing a ski jacket and a=20
    fur coat at the same time. He rushes over and says, "Jeez, are you all=20
    right?" She slowly nods her=20
    head yes. "What are you doing?" he asks incredulously.
    "I wanted to prove that not all blonde women are dumb," she started, " I=20
    wanted to do it by painting the house."=20
    "Well, why do you have both a ski jacket and a fur coat on?" he asked=20
    dumbfounded. "Well," she says, "I was reading the directions on the paint ca=
    n=20
    and it=20
    said:=20
    "For best results, put on two coats."

  2. #2
    Baluchitherium
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    > > The World's First Blond Male Joke
    > > > >
    > > > > An Irishman, a Mexican and a blond guy were
    > > doing construction
    > > work on
    > > > > scaffolding on the 20th floor of a building.
    > > They were eating
    > > lunch
    > > and
    > > > > the Irishman said, "Corned beef and cabbage!If I
    > > get corned beef
    > > and
    > > > > cabbage one more time for lunch I'm going to
    > > jump off this
    > > building."
    > > > >
    > > > > The Mexican opened his lunch box and exclaimed,
    > > "Burritos again!
    > > If I
    > > get
    > > > > burritos one more time I'm going to jump off,
    > > too.
    > > > >
    > > > > The blond opened his lunch and said, "Bologna
    > > again.If I get a
    > > bologna
    > > > > sandwich one more time I'm jumping too."
    > > > >
    > > > > Next day the Irishman opens his lunch box, sees
    > > corned beef and
    > > cabbage
    > > > > and jumps to his death. The Mexican opens his
    > > lunch, sees a
    > > burrito
    > > and
    > > > > jumps too.The blond opens his lunch, sees the
    > > bologna and jumps to
    > > his
    > > > > death also.
    > > > >
    > > > > At the funeral The Irishman's wife is weeping.
    > > She says, "If I'd
    > > known
    > > > > how really tired he was of corned beef and
    > > cabbage I neverwould
    > > have
    > > given
    > > > > it to him again!"
    > > > >
    > > > >
    > > > > The Mexican's wife also weeps and says, "I could
    > > have given him
    > > tacos
    > > or
    > > > > enchiladas! I didn't realize he hated burritos
    > > so much."
    > > > >
    > > > > Everyone turned and stared at the blonde's wife.
    > > "Hey, don't look
    > > at
    > > me"
    > > > > she said. "He makes his own lunch." >>
    >
    >

  3. #3
    Good Enough
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    Drunk edit!

    ------------------
    Broken down n' dirty dressed in rags

    "It's like somebody stealing your car and coming back the next week saying, hey check out my new car!" -EVH talkin' bout his two-hand tapping technique

    [This message has been edited by Eyes of the Night (edited January 06, 2001 at 03:48 AM).]

    [This message has been edited by Eyes of the Night (edited January 07, 2001 at 03:32 AM).]

  4. #4
    Imperial Fascist Overlord Down In Flames's Avatar
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    Funny stuff, Angel. The second joke is really good.

    Blondes? I dig 'em. (Like there was a doubt? LOL.)

    But redheads are my favorite, rare as they are.

    (Although... I'm becoming quite partial to brunettes... )

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    "Hey Down, my brotha, never ever forget your priorities... Beer first, trash second." - A life lesson, courtesy of track 5

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  5. #5
    Sinner's Swing! diamondsgirl's Avatar
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    <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Down In Flames:
    Funny stuff, Angel. The second joke is really good.

    Blondes? I dig 'em. (Like there was a doubt? LOL.)

    But redheads are my favorite, rare as they are.

    (Although... I'm becoming quite partial to brunettes... )

    <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

    Good save, Down.



    ------------------
    Nothin' says lovin' like Moonshine and Twinkies.
    _________________________
    "I want to have my cake, I want to eat it, too. I want pink frosting, I want it pre-sliced, delivered and paid for." -DLR

  6. #6
    Imperial Fascist Overlord Down In Flames's Avatar
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    <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by diamondsgirl:
    Good save, Down. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

    You know it, DG...

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    "Hey Down, my brotha, never ever forget your priorities... Beer first, trash second." - A life lesson, courtesy of track 5

    Official Bartender Of VHForums

  7. #7
    Baluchitherium
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    ah, so i see that DG is a brunette.

    anyway, i thought that i'd post one that i heard recently...

    so this ventriloquist is doing an act and his dummy is the king of telling blonde jokes...
    dummy: (insert blonde joke here)
    and then a beautiful blonde woman stands up from the audience with this really angry look on her face and starts yelling towrds the stage.
    blonde: hey, i'm tired of you people always making fun of us. we have feelings too, you know, it's getting pretty annoying!!!
    ventriloquist: oh, i'm sorry ma'am, i didn't mean to upset you. many people before have loved my act. sorry again. (he feels terrible)
    blonde:not you moron, i'm talking to that asshole on your knee!!!


    ------------------
    EBAS!!!!
    i know i would!!!
    i am a Dirty Faced Kid, although i do fancy myself a good lookin' fellow...
    AD for life...
    Diamond Mafia... respect the family...fuhgetaboutit

  8. #8
    Unchained
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    Hey Flames, it doesn't sound like you are partial to anyone! Doesn't matter to me either- as long as they're "semi good lookin'".

    ------------------
    Some eras may be better than others, but VH is VH to me!

  9. #9
    Hot For Teacher
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    What do you call:
    Blonde, brunette, blonde, brunette, blonde, brunette, blonde, brunette?

    Cheerleader doing kart-wheels.

  10. #10
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    What do dyed blondes and commercial jetliners have in common?

    Both have black boxes.

    ------------------
    Some eras may be better than others, but VH is VH to me!

  11. #11
    Baluchitherium
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    <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Doucet:
    What do you call:
    Blonde, brunette, blonde, brunette, blonde, brunette, blonde, brunette?

    Cheerleader doing kart-wheels.
    <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>
    hey, now there's a vivid thought.


    ------------------
    EBAS!!!!
    i know i would!!!
    i am a Dirty Faced Kid, although i do fancy myself a good lookin' fellow...
    AD for life...
    Diamond Mafia... respect the family...fuhgetaboutit

  12. #12
    Imperial Fascist Overlord Down In Flames's Avatar
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    <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Miah:
    Hey Flames, it doesn't sound like you are partial to anyone! <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

    I might surprise you, man.

    For beneath the gruff and rugged exterior that is Down In Flames, lies a warm-hearted soul in need of nuturing and tender loving care, a weary spirit looking to settle down with a good woman...

    (Or 80... )

    ------------------
    "Hey Down, my brotha, never ever forget your priorities... Beer first, trash second." - A life lesson, courtesy of track 5

    Official Bartender Of VHForums

  13. #13
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    Boy I feel stupid. Flames.... I meant IMpartial. Not sure if you got what I meant. I kinda go through the same process you did when others ask me what I like. "Hmmmm... let's see.... I prefer brunettes. Then again, blondes are pretty hot.... yeah, and redheads aren't too bad either." hehehehe.

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  14. #14
    Imperial Fascist Overlord Down In Flames's Avatar
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    That's the great thing about the gals, a wide selection from which to pick your poison.

    ------------------
    "Hey Down, my brotha, never ever forget your priorities... Beer first, trash second." - A life lesson, courtesy of track 5

    Official Bartender Of VHForums

 

 

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