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  1. #1
    Atomic Punk FORD's Avatar
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    10.22.17 @ 08:55 PM
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    BREAKING NEWS: GOD OVERRULES SUPREME COURT VERDICT

    Bush to be smitten later today

    In a stunning development this morning, God invoked the "one nation, under God" clause of the Pledge of Allegiance to overrule the Supreme Court decision that handed the White House to George W. Bush.
    "I'm not sure where the Supreme Court gets off," God said this morning on a rare Today Show appearance, "but I'm sure as hell not going to lie back and let Bush get away with this bull."
    "I've watched analysts argue for weeks now that the exact vote count in Florida 'will never be known.' Well, I'm God and I DO know exactly who voted for whom. Let's cut to the chase: Gore won Florida by exactly 20,219 votes."
    Shocking political analysts and pundits, God's unexpected verdict overrules the official Electoral College tally and awards Florida to Al Gore, giving him a 289-246 victory. The Bush campaign is analyzing God's Word for possible grounds for appeal.
    "God's ruling is a classic over-reach," argued Bush campaign strategist Jim Baker. "Clearly, a divine intervention in a U.S. Presidential Election is unprecedented, unjust, and goes against the constitution of the state of Florida."
    "Jim Baker's a jackass," God responded. "He's got some surprises ahead of him, let me tell you. HOT ones, if you know what I mean."
    God, who provided the exact vote counts for every Florida precinct, explained that bad balloting machinery and voter confusion were no grounds to give the White House to "an idiot."
    "Look, only 612 people in Palm Beach County voted for Buchanan. Get real! The rest meant to vote for Gore. Don't believe me? I'll name them: Anderson, Pete; Anderson, Sam, Jr.; Arthur, James; Barnhardt, Ron..."
    Our Lord then went on to note that he was displeased with George W. Bush's prideful ways and announced that he would officially smite him today. In an act of wrath unlike any reported since the Book of Job, God has taken all of Bush's goats and livestock, stripped him of his wealth and possessions, sold his family into slavery, forced the former presidential candidate into hard labor in a salt mine, and afflicted him with deep boils.
    Dick Cheney will reportedly receive leprosy.

    ------------------
    F.O.R.D. Country
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    Van HALEN is: Dave, Eddie, Mikey, Alex. Any questions?

    preaching the gospel of the one true Van HALEN for the redemption of a rock n roll world that's gone
    to boy band Hell.

  2. #2
    Sinner's Swing!
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    10.09.12 @ 02:50 PM
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    I wondered why Gore mentioned God about 100 times in his concession speech - thanks for clearing it up.

  3. #3
    Baluchitherium JWS_5150's Avatar
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    05.18.09 @ 11:19 PM
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    Donor



    God only knows what happened to those ballots.

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    Right Now, Ray Danniels must be GONE.

  4. #4
    Baluchitherium
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    09.15.15 @ 08:40 AM
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    your closing sentence about cheney was a nice touch.

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    i am a Dirty Faced Kid, although i do fancy myself a good lookin' fellow...
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  5. #5
    Eruption Icecream-man's Avatar
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    12.13.17 @ 02:58 AM
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    Yeah i dont think God would really rule in favor of Gore and his Democrats considering while he was vice president of our nation he took part along with his buddy Willie in illegally bombing a soverign nation that never even thought of warring with the US
    frankly i'm happy we'll have someone in the office that is not a Democrat and someone that will get rid of that Mad Bomber Madeleine Albright

    Late.

    ------------------
    The Rock N Roll Hall of Fame Sucks, Van Halen is too good for that disgraceful establishment! OUT!

    [This message has been edited by Icecream-man (edited December 20, 2000 at 08:55 PM).]

  6. #6
    Atomic Punk MikeL's Avatar
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    03.03.15 @ 08:31 PM
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    Donor

    You're suggesting that Democrats are more hawkish than Republicans?

    What about that weekend all the tourists in Grenda were so grouchy?

    It's meant to be funny, man.

  7. #7
    Sinner's Swing!
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    10.09.12 @ 02:50 PM
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    <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Icecream-man:
    Yeah i dont think God would really rule in favor of Gore and his Democrats considering while he was vice president of our nation he took part along with his buddy Willie in illegally bombing a soverign nation that never even thought of warring with the US
    frankly i'm happy we'll have someone in the office that is not a Democrat and someone that will get rid of that Mad Bomber Madeleine Albright

    Late.
    <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

    God loves genocide and massacres. Haven't you ever read the bible?

  8. #8
    Eruption Icecream-man's Avatar
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    12.13.17 @ 02:58 AM
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    Yeah well considering that these "massacres" and this "genocide" was being done by the people that NATO was supposedly protecting makes me sick...God didnt protect these scumbags, NATO and the US did

    Late.

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  9. #9
    Baluchitherium
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    <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Jonathan:
    God loves genocide and massacres. Haven't you ever read the bible? <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>



    which bible???




  10. #10
    Unchained
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    12.31.69 @ 04:00 PM
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    Gore lost and you know it. HA HA HA

    After eight years of having big Bubba throw our foreign policy down the tubes (Somalia, great triumph...if it wasn't for the fact that the country didn't back it and our troops were pulled behind pickup trucks.) (Siding 100% with Israel while turning our backs to their disgusting violations of human rights and ignoring the wishes of, I don't know, the rest of the world)

    And thank God for the economy big bubba created. (Or did it start at the end of Bush's term in '92...hmmmm)

    I'm just as well off as I was in '92. If anything has changed, I'm paying more taxes.

    Oh yeah, and who can forget Clinton's little romp with that fat chick named Monica. And his little lie under oath and to his wife.

    Just a little note to Ford and the rest of the self-righteous cry baby ignorant liberals. You actually think if a God does exist, he would side with the Democrats or the Republicans? Nope. And that's exactly why he hasn't done anything. Just a little example of the pot calling the kettle black.

  11. #11
    Unchained
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    12.31.69 @ 04:00 PM
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    Just read your response to my previous post i.e. Bush won and Gore lost, Get over it. Once again, you prove my point. Die hard liberals are nothing but strongly opinionated, self-righteous, ignorant people.

    To compare Bush to OJ is pretty extreme. Furthermore, if you want to add another person on the list, how about Clinton and his bone head cabinet? Hmm....Turning their backs while the Israelis violate human rights and murder Palestinian civilians. Palestinians throw rocks while Israelis gun them down. Oh, and how about when the Israeli took a gatling gun, missile loaded chopper (probably paid for by the U.S.) and blasted the hell out of a Palestinian staff car. This vastly overdone operation also cost the lives of several women and children. Hell, if Barak were as much as wounded, the U.S. would go nuts. Yet, a staff car is blown to bits with several women and children and the U.S. just says "okay." Why we support the Israelis, I don't know. That's a question even my Jewish friends ask. The whole world seems to wonder. That is, except for Clinton and Gore and the lobbyists. By supporting Egypt or Iraq more heavily we would have a military base in the Middle east and have access to oil. Yes, that's Iraq on my list. At least Clinton could get beyond our bone headed idea that bombing and not trading with Iraq will get Saddam thrown out. (His son would be even worse) The only people we are hurting are the Iraqi civilians. Ah for the "social welfare" oriented Democrats.

    Oh, and the Reagan administration, those were great years. I don't know what planet you were living on, but the economy was booming, the Cold War was ending, the music was, for the most part positive. What a "horrible" decade. Certainly worse than the "wonderful term" of Jimmy Carter. I guess that's why he was "re-elected."

    Ah yes, and then there was Clinton. The economy had already started to rise in the last year of Bush's term, "it's the economy stupid." What do you know, unemployment went down. Then, over the next few years, Clinton signed legislation, created by a predominately Republican congress to fight crime. And foreign policy, he did an excellent job there. Palestine hates us (for good reason), Cuba still hates us, our troops were pulled behind pickup trucks, we sent troops to Russia with no apparent result, we bombed the hell out of Iraq in definance of Saddam, meanwhile killing or injuring huge numbers of civilians and little else. We bombed Kosovo with the intent to distract the nation from Clinton's impeachment process. Sounds like the country was run by Dan Quayle for the past eight years. Yes, I'll admit he was an idiot. What Bush was thinkning when he put him on the ticket,...I don't know. (He was a "young and attractive guy who the ladies might like." Go figure)

    Might point in all this ranting is simply to bring up the fact that God is on neither side. Before you jump to conclusions, usual Democrat, you might want to consider both sides. Neither one of the parties is without fault. The scales are even. At this point, God hasn't supported either side. Not even Joe "droopy dog-look-alike (comment made by Tucker Carlson on the Spin Room), and let's end violence on television...oh is that a check" Lieberman.

  12. #12
    Atomic Punk MikeL's Avatar
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    Donor

    Are you skipping school?

  13. #13
    Eruption Icecream-man's Avatar
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    12.13.17 @ 02:58 AM
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    I totally agree with you Hooligan

    and listen i'm not a democrat or a republican but the Clinton Administration foriegn policy wise was a disgrace

    Willie poked his nose in Kosovo when #1 he couldnt even pronounce it correctly, and #2 had no clue what the history of the region was. Its very disturbing to think that the president of the free world had to use Nazi like tatics ie blitzkrieging cities in yugoslavia to get his point across.
    And Lieberman was the first scumbag to back big Willie in the bombing of yugoslavia...Madeliene Albright..whom the Serbs in Yugoslavia saved in world war II after she fled from Czechoslovakia or Poland from the Nazis...they saved her and how does she repay them? By bombing the country into submission when all it was trying to do was prevent a known world terrorist org. the KLA from breaking there country apart.

    So i'm happy that we have someone in office who maybe a little wiser when deploying our loved ones all over the world

    Oliver North for President



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    The Rock N Roll Hall of Fame Sucks, Van Halen is too good for that disgraceful establishment! OUT!

  14. #14
    Sinner's Swing!
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    10.09.12 @ 02:50 PM
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    <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by MikeL:
    Are you skipping school?<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

    Dunno....but his sense of humour seems to have left for xmas vacation without him


  15. #15
    Atomic Punk MikeL's Avatar
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    Donor

    <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Jonathan:
    Dunno....but his sense of humour seems to have left for xmas vacation without him

    <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

    Hey, this is a serious holiday, about serious issues!

    Seriously, that kind of brain washing is pretty spooky stuff. If he went to school more often, at least his arguments might be based on fact instead of talk show opinions.

 

 

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