10) Morganna the Kissing Bandit replaced by J-Lo the Big-Bottomed Bandita.

09) Any player who successfully steals 3rd base will get to "go to 3rd base" with Anna Kournikova.

08) The Rangers to be officially renamed That other Texas Team that really Sucks.

07) Bud Selig to be promoted to President and CEO of Restroom Sanitation.

06) Any time a fan gets struck by a foul ball, he or she will receive one free chili dog and a bag of pork skins.

05) Singing of the National Anthem to be replaced with the playing of Pink Floyd's Money.

04) The walk is out. The skip is in!

03) "No Smoking Section" to be replaced with the "got pot?" zone.

02) It is perfectly legal for the 1st baseman to tackle any and all runners!

01) Two words. Free beer!