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  1. #1
    Atomic Punk Eddymon's Avatar
    Join Date
    3800 foot level in the Sierra
    Favorite VH Album

    all of them
    Favorite VH Song

    If its Eddie, its Van Halen
    Last Online

    05.21.18 @ 07:15 AM
    Liked 589 Times in 270 Posts

    Whats the fluid capacity of Monica Lewinsky's mouth?
    One U.S. Leader

    What does parsley & pubic hair have in common?
    You push both aside and keep on eating.

    What two words will clear out a mens room?
    Nice dick

    Whats the difference between a Harley and a Hoover?
    The position of the dirt bag.
    'Old Van Halen, when I was in it-classic Van Halen-makes you wanna drink, dance and screw, right? And the new Van Halen encourages you to drink milk, drive a Nissan and have a relationship.' - David Lee Roth.

  2. #2
    The Dude Dan Halen's Avatar
    Join Date
    Corvallis, OR, USA
    Last Online

    09.26.07 @ 01:38 PM
    Liked 2 Times in 1 Post


    A child's angry letter to Santa


    You must be surprised that I'm writing to you today, the 26th of December. Well, I would very much like to clear up certain things that have occurred since the beginning of the month, when filled with illusion,I wrote you my letter. I asked for a bicycle, an electric train set, a pair of roller blades, and a football uniform.I destroyed my brain studying the whole year. Not only was I the first in my class, but I had the best grades in the whole school. I'm not going to lie to you, there was no one my entire neighborhood that behaved better than me, with my parents, my brothers, my friends, and with my neighbors. I would go on errands, and even help the elderly cross the street. There was virtually nothing within reach that I would not do for humanity. What balls do you have leaving me a fucking yo-yo, a stupid whistle and a pair of socks? What the fuck were you thinking, you fat son of a bitch,that you've taken me for a sucker the whole fucking year to come out with some shit like this under the tree. As if you hadn't fucked me enough, you gave that little faggot across the street so many toys that he can't even walk into his house. Please don't let me see you trying to fit your fat ass down my chimney next year. I'll fuck you up. I'll throw rocks at those stupid reindeer and scare them away so you'll have to walk back to the fucking North Pole, just like what I have to do now since you didn't get me that fucking bike. FUCK YOU SANTA. Next year you'll find out how bad I can be, you Fat Son-Of-A-Bitch. Sincerely, Little Johnny

    "It's so damn hot... milk was a bad choice." --Ron Burgundy, Anchorman

  3. #3
    Hot For Teacher
    Join Date
    Western Australia
    Favorite VH Album

    1984, 5150
    Favorite VH Song

    Jamie\'s cryin\', Dreams, Right now
    Last Online

    02.27.07 @ 03:58 AM
    Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Here's a few sexist jokes sent to me by a friend some time ago......

    1)Why does a bride smile when she walks down the aisle?
    She knows she's given her last blow job

    2)How do you annoy your girlfriend during sex?
    Phone her

    3)Wht do women fake orgasms?
    Because they think men care

    4)What is the definition of 'making love'?
    Something a woman does while a guy is fucking her

    Hope ya like 'em....if ya do I've got more!!!! [img]smile.gif[/img]

    Peace from Oz.



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