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  1. #1
    Sinner's Swing!
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    10.09.12 @ 02:50 PM
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    I'm sure my good Irish American buddy will close yet another political thread. But I found this on usenet and it made me laugh.

    > > " NOTICE OF REVOCATION OF INDEPENDENCE
    > >
    > > To the citizens of the United States of America,
    > >
    > > In the light of your failure to elect anybody as President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves and, by extension, the freeworld, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective today.
    > >
    > > Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchial duties over all states, commonwealths and other territories including New Jersey.
    > >
    > > To aid in the transition to a British Crown Dependency, please comply with the following acts:
    > >
    > > 1. Look up "revocation" in the now official Oxford Dictionary ($75). Start spelling English words correctly.
    > >
    > > 2. Learn at least the first 4 lines of "God Save The Queen"
    > >
    > > 3. Start referring to "soccer" as football
    > >
    > > 4. Declare war on Quebec and France
    > >
    > > 5. Arrest Mel Gibson for treason
    > >
    > > 6. Close down the NFL. Learn to play rugby
    > >
    > > 7. Enjoy warm flat beer and steak and kidney pudding. Train waitresses to be more aggressive with customers and not to tell you their names before you eat.
    > >
    > > 8. July 4th is no longer a public holiday, this has been replaced with November 5th
    > >
    > > 9. All members of this British Crown Dependency will be required to take 6 weeks annual vacation and observe statutory tea breaks.
    > >
    > > 10.Driving on the left is now compulsory - recall all cars to effect the change immediately.
    > >
    > > 11.Report to our Consulate General in NY - M Wragg - for your new passport and job allocation.
    > >
    > > 12. Have Meg Ryan report to the Prince Andrews Bedchamber.
    > >
    > > 13. Add the Royal insignia to the top of the Washington Monument - and the Queens Christmas speeches to the Lincoln Memorial.
    > >
    > > 14. Stop referring to the World Series of Baseball and instead call it the National Series of USA, Cuba and Japan.
    > >
    > > Tax collectors from Her Majesty's Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisiton of all revenues due (backdated to 1776)."

  2. #2
    Super Duper Frontman track 5's Avatar
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    12.03.17 @ 09:00 PM
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    I would imagine that buddy you speak of will get a kick out of this. This is some funny shit. LMAO As for # 3, NEVER, NEVER I SAY! Funny stuff Jonathan. Out.

  3. #3
    Imperial Fascist Overlord Down In Flames's Avatar
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    <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Jonathan:
    I'm sure my good Irish American buddy will close yet another political thread. But I found this on usenet and it made me laugh.
    <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

    Your good Irish American buddy is laughing his ass off, Jonathan.

    (And if nothing else, I'm with you on #4... LOL.)

    Ever the one to flip the script and switch up my channels, I'm going to keep this thread open on ONE condition...

    That it doesn't have ANYTHING to do with political arguments.

    How can it work?

    Simply, if you ask me. (Please don't, thank you very much. )

    Anyone who finds something funny in their E-mail (or otherwise) about the United States'... um, 'situation', you can post it here.

    After all, humor *is* the best medicine when supidity is the disease...

    ("Kick ass!! Another political thread!!" - As interpreted by t 5. )

    ("Kick ass!! Another political thread, that I didn't close!!" - As interpreted by Down In Flames. )

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  4. #4
    Eruption
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    02.27.09 @ 02:39 AM
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    Yup, that all makes good sense to me. Now if you could get a yank called 'Iggie' (who is currently living in MY hometown) to return a girl called 'Nikki' (whom he stole from under my nose while I was ill last week), then we can settle this whole thing in time for my afternoon tea break. 'Kay?

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  5. #5
    Atomic Punk FORD's Avatar
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    10.22.17 @ 08:55 PM
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    Does this mean we get the real 8% full strength Guinness now?

    If so, GOD SAVE THE QUEEN!!!

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  6. #6
    Sinner's Swing!
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    <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by FORD:
    Does this mean we get the real 8% full strength Guinness now?

    If so, GOD SAVE THE QUEEN!!!
    <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

    As far as Guinness goes, you haven't really tasted the real thing until you've been to Ireland. US Guinness isn't so great in my experience though it's better in the larger cities with significant Irish population. In the UK it can be very good - but it doesn't travel well. Irish Guinness is the nectar of the gods, I spent two weeks in Galway a few years back - we drank gallons of the stuff and never once got a hangover. It's incredibly pure, the Irish water helps I guess - plus the fact that they keep the real thing for themselves

  7. #7
    carpe damn diem billy007's Avatar
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    12.14.17 @ 06:29 PM
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    <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Jonathan:
    1. Look up "revocation" in the now official Oxford Dictionary ($75). Start spelling English words correctly.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

    Prob'ly ain't gonna be hap'nin'

    2. Learn at least the first 4 lines of "God Save The Queen"

    "God Save the Queen
    She ain't no human being
    There is no future
    In England's dreaming..." - is that right?

    3. Start referring to "soccer" as football

    don't make us have to go over there...

    4. Declare war on Quebec and France

    I'd rather just declare them the winner and give them Maine

    6. Close down the NFL. Learn to play rugby

    But I like my teeth!

    9. All members of this British Crown Dependency will be required to...observe statutory tea breaks.

    Do they break more often than smokers?

    14. Stop referring to the World Series of Baseball and instead call it the National Series of USA, Cuba and Japan.

    Why, who else is there?


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    Eat Us And Smile!!!

    [This message has been edited by billy007 (edited November 13, 2000 at 11:23 AM).]

  8. #8
    Atomic Punk FORD's Avatar
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    10.22.17 @ 08:55 PM
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    <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by billy007:

    2. Learn at least the first 4 lines of "God Save The Queen"

    "God Save the Queen
    She ain't no human being
    There is no future
    In England's dreaming..." - is that right?


    <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

    Nope, that's the second verse. The first verse is....

    "God Save the Queen
    Her fascist regime
    They made you a moron
    Potential H bomb"


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  9. #9
    Sinner's Swing!
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    10.09.12 @ 02:50 PM
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    Hey DIF, does the Pistols vs the Ramones count as a politics? I'll take the Pistols as the greatest ever punk rock band, with Ramones, Clash and Dead Kennedys as the only others worth a damn. The Brits invented punk rock, that's what Malcolm Mclaren said anyway

  10. #10
    carpe damn diem billy007's Avatar
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    12.14.17 @ 06:29 PM
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    <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by FORD:
    Nope, that's the second verse. The first verse is....

    "God Save the Queen
    Her fascist regime
    They made you a moron
    Potential H bomb"
    <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

    Oops - first and only time I plan to say this - "my bad" - gotta dig that tape I made off my college roommate out again, I guess!


  11. #11
    Atomic Punk FORD's Avatar
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    10.22.17 @ 08:55 PM
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    <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Jonathan:
    Hey DIF, does the Pistols vs the Ramones count as a politics? I'll take the Pistols as the greatest ever punk rock band, with Ramones, Clash and Dead Kennedys as the only others worth a damn. The Brits invented punk rock, that's what Malcolm Mclaren said anyway<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

    Mc Laren tried to say that HE created punk rock, which is a load of crap. But it wasn't all the Brits. The Ramones weren't British, nor were Iggy & the Stooges or the Mc5, arguably the first punk bands.

    And whattya got against Black Flag anyway



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  12. #12
    Sinner's Swing!
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    <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by FORD:
    Mc Laren tried to say that HE created punk rock, which is a load of crap. But it wasn't all the Brits. The Ramones weren't British, nor were Iggy & the Stooges or the Mc5, arguably the first punk bands.

    And whattya got against Black Flag anyway
    <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

    Actually nothing, that's a band I keep meaning to check out but never got around to. The McLaren thing was a joke - it's from his little speech at the start of the Swindle album (great album IMO)

    I love the Ramones, saw them once. 30 songs in a one hour show, and *very* loud.

  13. #13
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    02.27.09 @ 02:39 AM
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    <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by FORD:
    Mc Laren tried to say that HE created punk rock, which is a load of crap. But it wasn't all the Brits. The Ramones weren't British, nor were Iggy & the Stooges or the Mc5, arguably the first punk bands.

    And whattya got against Black Flag anyway

    <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

    I was gonna point out the Stooges & The MC5. Can't argue with that. 2 points to the US.

    DIF: I thought she was a hot ticket, but now I ain't got no chance I realise that she has a moustache. How's that for pragmatism?

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  14. #14
    Imperial Fascist Overlord Down In Flames's Avatar
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    <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by TDR:
    Yup, that all makes good sense to me. Now if you could get a yank called 'Iggie' (who is currently living in MY hometown) to return a girl called 'Nikki' (whom he stole from under my nose while I was ill last week), then we can settle this whole thing in time for my afternoon tea break. 'Kay? <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

    I'll see what I can do.

    No promises, though.

    Especially if she's a hot ticket.

    I might have to take her away from Iggie... and not hand her back over to you. LOL

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  15. #15
    Imperial Fascist Overlord Down In Flames's Avatar
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    <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Jonathan:
    As far as Guinness goes, you haven't really tasted the real thing until you've been to Ireland. US Guinness isn't so great in my experience though it's better in the larger cities with significant Irish population. In the UK it can be very good - but it doesn't travel well. Irish Guinness is the nectar of the gods, I spent two weeks in Galway a few years back - we drank gallons of the stuff and never once got a hangover. It's incredibly pure, the Irish water helps I guess - plus the fact that they keep the real thing for themselves <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

    We drunken Irish know what we're doing.

    (Damn... Now I'm thirsty for Guinness. )



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