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  1. #1
    Good Enough Vince G.'s Avatar
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    Favorite VH Album

    "Fair Warning" & "OU812"
    Favorite VH Song

    "Romeo Delight" & "Cabo Wabo"
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    09.21.15 @ 03:44 PM
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    Since Xmas is almost here, I thought I'd see what was the worst Xmas gift you ever received? I'll start it off here:

    Back in '88 or '89, my wife Loni and I had already been dating for about 2 or 3 years, so it was already known within her family my likes and dislikes. Her father is working on his second divorce and shacking up with his then-girlfriend, Betty, who eventually became his third wife. Keep in mind, Loni is his only daughter. The rest of his kids are all boys. I mean, if it was my daughter, my only daughter, I'd make sure her gift was a bit more special, y'know?

    Well, Betty calls Loni, asks what we would like for Xmas. Loni throws some ideas out to her, all very inexpensive. Xmas Eve rolls around and we stop by their house to say "Hi" and give them their stuff. So, here comes to big moment. Like anyone else, we're excited about seeing what they got us. We get handed an envelope with our names on it. We open it up, and guess what's in there?

    $20 in McDonald's gift certificates.

    No, not $20 each, but $20 for the both of share! Then we empty out our stockings, and it's a myriad of "crapola"; mini-bottle of "Armor All", plastic color-coded paperclips, candy canes, colored pencils, liquid paper, and other crap you'd find at a .99 store near the register. Yeah, we were a bit pissed. We didn't show it, but we were pissed. She has never let him forget about that, either.

    The second worst gift I got was around '92. My mom gave me thick, purple ski gloves. I mean, these things were T-H-I-C-K ! I was barely able to move my fingers. When I asked my mom, respectfully, why she got me these, it was the usual mom thing, "Oh, in case you got cold." I told her, "Mom, I live in San Diego. Just how cold do you think it gets there? And, when was the last time I ever went skiing?"

    Anyone else???
    "Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that."

    "This is a lttle prayer dedicated to the separation of church and state. I guess if they are going to force those kids to pray in schools they might as well have a nice prayer like this: Our Father who art in heaven, and to the republic for which it stands, thy kingdom come, one nation indivisible as in heaven, give us this day as we forgive those who so proudly we hail. Crown thy good into temptation but deliver us from the twilight's last gleaming. Amen and Awomen. ."

    "I think it's the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately."

    -George Carlin 1937 - 2008

  2. #2
    Top Of The World
    Join Date
    Halifax, Canada
    Favorite VH Album

    Fair Warning or VH3... it varies.
    Favorite VH Song

    too many to count... I\'m diggin\' Can\'t Get This Stuff No More right now.
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    12.31.69 @ 04:00 PM
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    Most of my horrible gifts come from my grandmother. She's a hardcore Reader's Digest subscriber, and often sends all the free shit she gets from it to us as christmas gifts. Some of them have included:

    cheap-plastic, shit-brown "desktop organizers"

    pencils with our names on them

    my dead grandfathers' zip-around wallet

    some of my dead grandfathers' clothes, including a bloodstain on the pant-leg and mouse-shit in the box

    And alas, I too, have been a victim of McDick's gift certificates as x-mas presents. Horrible stuff, isn't it?
    "The common thing on governments as an institution is: they're all bad worldwide. It might be the only thing that binds all nations together: the incompetence of their governments. Look at the people who have been president in the US so far... could I DO ANY WORSE?"<br /> <br />~ Frank Zappa

  3. #3
    Eye suffacozza YEWW! Goo's Avatar
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    Sydney, Australia
    Favorite VH Album

    Fair Warning
    Favorite VH Song

    Me Wise Magic
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    10.22.16 @ 01:11 PM
    Liked 54 Times in 33 Posts

    Premium Member
    This wasn't a Xmas gift - it was a birthday pressie - my brother gave me a packet of chewing gum!

    I 'gave' it back to him.
    A little zen....... Headed your way.......

  4. #4
    Sinner's Swing! twonabomber's Avatar
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    cleveland, oh
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    01.02.16 @ 11:19 AM
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    i gave my mom a vacuum cleaner for Xmas about ten years ago, and i still hear about it...

    i can't think of anything really crappy that i've gotten. my dad gave me a kind of ugly "old man's" jacket last year, left it in the outlet store bag and everything. there have been a couple times my brother and i have traded new shirts we've gotten, but not too often...and at work one time, i got a combination lint remover/shoehorn in the secret Santa thing. i don't even know if i kept it...
    "is this a good show tonight, or fuckin' what?" - DLR, Montreal, 11/10/07

    Toronto 10/7...Cleveland 10/10...Toronto 10/12...Montreal 11/10

  5. #5
    Romeo Delight Ben Italiano's Avatar
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    04.24.05 @ 01:20 PM
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    Worst xmas gift which wasnt a gift I wanted, I found out my mother had cancer it was the day after really and it was one xmas I will never forget she past 9 month later 2 day before my birthday [img]graemlins/cry.gif[/img] pretty sad sorry to bring some down but just be greatful for what you have or got [img]smile.gif[/img] ..... Merry Xmas everyone
    Cheers <br />Webmaster of <br /><a href="" target="_blank"></a><br /><a href="" target="_blank"></a><br /><a href="" target="_blank">www.Van Halen</a>



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