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  1. #1
    Hot For Teacher Ineedalogin's Avatar
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    09.30.17 @ 09:32 PM
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    I see you're from Michigan too. Well, this story takes place at Central Michigan University...that's where I attended college. At any rate, here's the rest of the story:

    So, the guy repairs his little CVS special radio & the middle of the night jams sessions start up again. Well, since we can't kick the guy's ass (because of his sexual orientation) we decide to "motivate" him to leave.

    Oh, and before I go into our "motivating" skills, let me explain a few other things. Ya see, we didn't hate the guy JUST because of this tendency to jam "No More Tears" 24 hours a day. There were other factors too.

    First off, the dude would eat all our food when we weren't around and then never pay us back. This one time, my buddies & I went home for the weekend and when we got back, ALL OF OUR FOOD WAS GONE. And I mean ALL. The 1 guy ate all the food of his 3 roommates. We fond out from the girls next door that the guy had a party while we were gone and he & his gay friends were sitting in the hallway eating all our food. When we got back we almost ripped the guy's head off. We immediately drove him to the ATM and made him withdrawl $300 to reimburse us for the food. Furthermore, we made sure that he knew that he was NEVER allowed to bring his buddies to our apartment again. If they ever showed up, they had to knock on his bedroom window from outside & he would have to go out there to talk to them. They weren't allowed in.

    Secondly, the guy NEVER paid his bills. He would run up $300 a month phone bills & never pay for them. He rarely contributed for any of the utility bills, and he never paid his rent either.

    Thirdly, he was a lying sack of sh*t. He would make the largest, most outlandish bull sh*t statements I've ever heard. My buddy would talk about his Mustang 5.0L car, and this guy would reply by saying, "I have the 2nd fastest car in Wisconsin. It goes from 0 to 60 in 4 seconds. But it's back home in Wisconsin with my family." He had the best EVERYTHING...but it was all back in Wisconsin. My one roommate likes to hunt, and when this gay guy saw my buddy's gun he claimed to have a $200,000 gun collection. But of course it was back in Wisconsin. The guy can't pay his bills, but he has a $200,000 gun collection back in Wisconsin. Freakin' idiot!

    Ok, on with the story. So, when the guy takes off for work (he dropped out of school & went to work instead) we'd go into his room & rewire the phone lines so that his phone jack was inactive. We'd put itching powder in his bed and we'd spit loogies in all his books.

    Also, we'd torment the guy whenever he was home. If he went to the bathroom, one of us would grab a rubber glove from under the sink, stick peanut butter on the fingers & then lay it on his pillow. We'd have what we called "Air Raids" in the middle of the night. You see, the walls of our apartment were solid wood. It's hard to describe the walls, but trust me, they were solid wood walls. And the guy's had the middle bedroom between myself & one of my buddies. His bed happened to be in the corner of his room with one side of the bed facing my bedroom wall and the head of the bed touching the outside wall. Well, on those nights of our "Air Raids," we'd set our alarm clocks for like 4:00am. Then one of my buddies would go outside his bedroom window while me and my other buddie would grab sauce pans from the kitchen. And at a syncronized time, we'd start slamming the pans against the walls while the guy outside started beating on the window. Scared the livin' crap out of the guy. This was kind of like our revenge for his midnight radio jam sessions.

    We finally got the guy to move out just before the start of the 2nd semester. By this time, the guy was over $500 in debt for the phone bill, and probably another $300 behind on the utility bills. We told him he was no longer allowed to use the phone or anything else until he forked over the cash that he owed us. We told him if we caught him, he would get his arse beat. Well, one day my roommates & I decided to skip class & play Madden on Sega. The loser didn't realize that we skipped class. So the phone rings and before we got a chance to answer it, we hear him talking to his buddy on the phone in his room. Well, my buddy just EXPLODES and storms into the guys bedroom. In an out-and-out fit of rage, my roommate says to the guy: "I told you NOT to use the phone until you pay us for the phone bill! That doesn't mean use it when you think we're all at class. If I hear you use the phone one more time, I'm gonna wrap that phone cord around your wormy little neck & pop your head off!!!!"

    Well my buddy & I are just rolling on the floor laughing our arses off. About 10 minutes later the guy comes out of his bedroom with a big army bag full of clothes. We think the guy is headed to the laundromat, but he never comes back. He leaves all his stuff and never comes back!

    Sure he stuck us with roughly $800 in bills. But my friends & I still laugh at all the stuff we did to him to drive him out of the apartment. I guess it was a fair trade-off.

  2. #2
    Beloved Glenn's Avatar
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    Seems like an obvious candidate for the Non-Music forum to me. [img]smile.gif[/img]

  3. #3
    Sinner's Swing! Aquatic Punk's Avatar
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    01.11.12 @ 06:57 PM
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    Hah, that was a good story...how'd you get stuck with this guy??? can't believe such a tool came from wisconsin. air raids...hahaha.

    I had a randomly assigned roomie my freshman year of college...I'll have to tell some stories about what I did to him some day.
    Gozer the Traveller will come in one of the pre-chosen forms. During the rectification of the Vuldronaii the Traveller came as a very large and moving Torb. Then of course in the third reconciliation of the last of the Meketrex supplicants they chose a new form for him, that of a Sloar. Many Shubs and Zuuls knew what it was to be roasted in the depths of the Sloar that day I can tell you.
    -Lewis Tully in Ghostbusters

  4. #4
    Good Enough THE MARD's Avatar
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    01.28.16 @ 03:05 AM
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    HaHA!
    LOL!
    ROTFLMAO!
    I LOVE it! Sounds like you guys worked him out to PERFECTION!

    Ineedalogin, GREAT STORY! You're going to PARTY Central Michigan, eh? I've heard a few good stories about that school.

    Good for You!

    Got anymore? How did you get stuck with such an asshole?

    Aquatic Punk let's hear your story?
    "Keep honking buddy. I'm reloading..." -The Mard

    "......HEY!.............alright............." -BIG FOOT

    " I know what you're thinking: "Do I want to watch Mard? We know that horses were very strong and could actually stop airplanes from flying away. The ones made out of stone called "statues" -- occasionally came to life and rode off is a colonial cliche. How many more times do we need to hear about how the oppressive Raj's wore villainous black capes, crafted cunning plastic masks to impersonate people, and drained all the blood from their slaves so they could keep the fluid in bottles in their dungeons? I mean, YAWN!

    But if you're willing to sit through this dry sort of historical drama one more time -- or even just this dry historical review -- you will not be disappointed. In fact, some of you might just learn something they didn't teach you in school!-
    MARD-The Movie

  5. #5
    Sinner's Swing! Aquatic Punk's Avatar
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    01.11.12 @ 06:57 PM
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    Originally posted by THE MARD:

    Aquatic Punk let's hear your story?
    Allright...it'd be a lot of typing...so here is part one

    Fall of 1998 (freshman year of college)

    My freshman year of college, I lived in an all freshman dorm with a randomly assigned roommate. dude's name was Jeff. We move in and we're unloading our stuff and I am seeing his collection of CD's that include Rod Stewart, the Titanic Soundtrack and a lot of accapella and choir CD's. His video tapes mostly include videos of his high school choir and dance performances. The move, Titanic was predictably in there too. So we start talkin and he says very intensly that "music drives his heart and soul". And of course he played soccer...so I am startin to think my roomie enjoys the company of other men....so I asked (I have never been big on being subtle), so are you gay? well, he shit a brick..practically started crying because he was made fun of all through HS because people thought he was gay. he wasn't by the way...direct quote from his mom. "Jeff never had much luck with girls". What a loser.

    so after a little while, I have made a considerable amount of good friends in the dorm...Jeff has made none, but has attatched himself to my friends, which I found annoying (as did my friends) because besides being a loser and a closet homo, this guy was kind of a prick.

    ex 1) he insisted on listening to his gay choir music and singing along, but asked me not to play my music on MY OWN stereo becuase he found it offensive.

    my screw up...told him I found his gay music and his gay voice offensive but I deal with it.

    result...roommate conflict.

    ex 2) when I did him a favor and taped his televised hs football game while he was gone (he actually wanted to see the dance team perform at the halftime show and not the actual game) he got to the tv (my tv btw) first on a sunday and insisted on wathing the tape during the Packer pre game which I wanted to watch...when I told him he could watch the tape when I was gone all day, he got pissed.

    my screw up...nothing

    result...he got pissed

    reason...he may have been menstrating

    there's more, but you've heard enough.

    so now, first semester is almost over and I am overly pissed at the little dude. especially when he insisted on tagging along everytime I did something with friends...I could never get rid of him.

    well, one time for a friends 18th b'day we all were gonna go the casino. I asked my lady friends (who were responsible for making my guy friends and I be "nice" to Jeff) if we could make this a Jeff free outing. they agreed and we didn't tell him we were going anywhere...he found out where we were going and insisted on going along, even when we said things like, "there's no room in the car" and "its this guy's b'day and you should talk to him". So he went and complained the whole time about how he had a headache and didn't wanna gamble. semester over.

    [ October 14, 2002, 09:35 AM: Message edited by: Aquatic Punk ]
    Gozer the Traveller will come in one of the pre-chosen forms. During the rectification of the Vuldronaii the Traveller came as a very large and moving Torb. Then of course in the third reconciliation of the last of the Meketrex supplicants they chose a new form for him, that of a Sloar. Many Shubs and Zuuls knew what it was to be roasted in the depths of the Sloar that day I can tell you.
    -Lewis Tully in Ghostbusters

  6. #6
    Sinner's Swing! Aquatic Punk's Avatar
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    Part II...Attack of the Bored Jerks

    February 1999

    So now it is second semester and my friends from down the hall, Bryant and Tony were growing hostile towards Jeff, who we now considered the least likable person on the planet. So one night, I was sittin in there room late at night after Jeff went to bed, we decided to prank call him. well, he didn't answer the phone..heavy sleeper. so we decided to run down the hall and jump into the closed door to Jeff and my room...still didn't wake him up, but about 10 amused on lookers from the lounge took interest and suggested we duct tape the door top to bottom, trapping the weakling in his room. My response was "fuck you guys, that's my room too!" "so sleep in Bryant and Tony's room tonight...Jeff has an earier class, so by the time you have to get uip, Jeff will be out the door and the duct tape will be gone." so we used 3 roles of duct tape and dumped garbage bags in between the duct tape and the door (about a 3" space). and I crashed on the couch down the hall for the night. 7 am...there is a knock on the door. it is jeff, with an armload of duct tape and garbage. "WHAT THE HELL IS THIS" he said. I said, "oh yeah, I was down in the lounge studying late last night (that in itself would be hard to believe) and when I came up the door was like that. I was too tired to deal with it so I spent the night here in B & T's room." he said, "oh, ok...I wonder who did this then?"

    so he's dumb too.

    he got out with a box cutter btw.

    [ October 14, 2002, 09:46 AM: Message edited by: Aquatic Punk ]
    Gozer the Traveller will come in one of the pre-chosen forms. During the rectification of the Vuldronaii the Traveller came as a very large and moving Torb. Then of course in the third reconciliation of the last of the Meketrex supplicants they chose a new form for him, that of a Sloar. Many Shubs and Zuuls knew what it was to be roasted in the depths of the Sloar that day I can tell you.
    -Lewis Tully in Ghostbusters

  7. #7
    Sinner's Swing! Aquatic Punk's Avatar
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    Part III Scared Shitless

    Late February 1999

    Jeff, as usual, went to bed early, so I went out to the lounge. about 1 am, some guy runs into the lounge with a Scream mask and a black trench coat. we all jump a little bit and then have a good laugh. Then somebody mentions that it'd be funny if he went into Jeff's room and woke him up by screaming in his face with the mask on...well, Jeff's door was locked so I gave him the key. we all went to watch by the doorway as the guy quietly walked in, got about 1 foot above Jeff's face and started screaming and shakin him in bed. Jeff's reaction "ohmigod please don't hurt me ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!" yeah, he was scared. then he noticed that I was part of the crowd by the door way...."WHY DID YOU UNLOCK THE ROOM?!?!?!" "well, I just came to get my tootbrush so I could brush my teeth (communal b rooms and no sink in the rooms) and go to bed and when I came back these guys were all here."

    Jeff, said, "oh, ok"...gullible

    when I finally decided to go to bed at about 330, jeff was still awake because of the adreniline rush 2 hours earlier.
    Gozer the Traveller will come in one of the pre-chosen forms. During the rectification of the Vuldronaii the Traveller came as a very large and moving Torb. Then of course in the third reconciliation of the last of the Meketrex supplicants they chose a new form for him, that of a Sloar. Many Shubs and Zuuls knew what it was to be roasted in the depths of the Sloar that day I can tell you.
    -Lewis Tully in Ghostbusters

  8. #8
    Sinner's Swing! chewbaccamonkeylunch's Avatar
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    [img]graemlins/thumb.gif[/img] MORE MORE PART IV [img]graemlins/thumb.gif[/img]
    The trashman was my hero.......
    -Seenbad

  9. #9
    Sinner's Swing! Aquatic Punk's Avatar
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    01.11.12 @ 06:57 PM
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    Part IV April Fool's Day
    (I had little to do with this one, but it was funny as hell)
    April 1st, 1999

    Jeff and I are both sitting in the room studying, when the phone rings. Jeff answers and I can just here his side of the conversation..."what, ok...yeah...ok, I'll be right there". He looks at me and says rather suspiciously, "I gotta go...do something". he leaves.

    Chris from down the hall comes in with his chick friend.

    Chris: did Jeff just leave?
    Me: Yeah, what's up?
    Chick: I just called him and told him I was a stripper that was hired by one of his friends to flash him. I told him I was at 3M hall (note:3M is Mary Minihan McCormick Hall...it is right next to the dorm we lived in at the time.)
    Me: (laughs hysterically)

    5 minutes later

    Jeff re enters the room.

    Me: what was that about
    Jeff: I just had to do something
    Me: I see...
    Phone: rings
    Jeff: hello...yeah, where were you???VMC??? ok, I will be there soon. (note: VMC is Victor McCormick Hall..similar name, but it is all the way across campus).

    Jeff leaves

    Chris and Chick re enter

    Me: dude, did you just send him to VMC to look for a phantom stripper?
    Chris and Chick simultaneously: yup
    Me: wets self

    Jeff re enters

    Me: where the hell do you keep going
    Jeff: never mind, I just had to do something.
    Gozer the Traveller will come in one of the pre-chosen forms. During the rectification of the Vuldronaii the Traveller came as a very large and moving Torb. Then of course in the third reconciliation of the last of the Meketrex supplicants they chose a new form for him, that of a Sloar. Many Shubs and Zuuls knew what it was to be roasted in the depths of the Sloar that day I can tell you.
    -Lewis Tully in Ghostbusters

  10. #10
    Sinner's Swing! Aquatic Punk's Avatar
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    Part V The Secret Admirer

    April 1999

    Tony decides to set up a hotmail account under a made up female name and send Jeff (who is now desperate for a chick) an e-mail claiming she has been noticing Jeff around campus and would like to get to know him better. We didn't really expect Jeff to fall for it, but he was excited. He went around telling everyone he had a secret admirerer. We took it up a notch by sending him an e-card from bluemountain.com and arranging a meeting. we told Jeff to go to a house party at the address of some upperclassmen we knew but Jeff didn't know. There actually was no house party there which made it awkward when Jeff knocked on the door to find a couple dudes watchin tv. Well, now Jeff was starting to suspect something was up, so we sent an e-mail saying that she got the address of the house wrong and had him meet her at a house that actually was having a party. we all went too and watched Jeff look around for the chick. We let this go on for a week and got some great responses from the e-mails we sent to Jeff...unfortunately, the hotmail account expired and the messages were erased.

    yeah, we did tell Jeff that we were his admirerers and he was not pleased. he didn't see the humor. This was a week long joke that the entire dorm was following. kinda mean, but it was really funny and kept us entertained.
    Gozer the Traveller will come in one of the pre-chosen forms. During the rectification of the Vuldronaii the Traveller came as a very large and moving Torb. Then of course in the third reconciliation of the last of the Meketrex supplicants they chose a new form for him, that of a Sloar. Many Shubs and Zuuls knew what it was to be roasted in the depths of the Sloar that day I can tell you.
    -Lewis Tully in Ghostbusters

  11. #11
    Sinner's Swing! Aquatic Punk's Avatar
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    Part VI Tony Goes too Far

    May 1999

    It was that time of year when the rooms get packed up and emptied and we went home for the summer. I would not be living with Jeff my sophomore year. I became very good friends with a lot of people from the all freshman dorm and Jeff seemed to think he was friends be association. We all sent mass e-mails to each other at the end of the school year with home phone #'s and possible get togethers. Jeff did the same...he sent an e-mail saying he would have a b-day party at the end of July and we were all invited. he sent this to his friends from hs and some cousins and A LOT of people from college, including Tony, Bryant and Myself. Tony got the e-mail about the b-day party and decided another phony e-mail address needed to be created.....under Jeff's real name so when messages were sent, Jeff's name showed up in the from field. Tony copied Jeff's original e-mail, but changed b-day party to Coming Out Party (we still made fun of Jeff's gayness). Then, Tony went on to send the e-mail to everyone on Jeff's original list....including people Tony didn't even know. As expected, Jeff's bitch friend from HS (who I met and is a total bitch) showed Jeff the e-mail and he was beyond mad. He came right to Bryant and Tony's room where I was as usual and asked for the IP addresses from Tony and Bryant's computer. we played dumb, but Jeff left saying he would just have computer services do it and he would take the matter to campus security. Now Tony realized that he had gone too far. And he asked me if he could send the same type of phony e-mail under my name and do the same thing to me...I said yes. when the e-mail was sent (including one to Jeff) I laughed and said how funny I thought it was....Jeff immediately thougth he was over reacting and forgot the whole thing.

    Freshman year over.
    Gozer the Traveller will come in one of the pre-chosen forms. During the rectification of the Vuldronaii the Traveller came as a very large and moving Torb. Then of course in the third reconciliation of the last of the Meketrex supplicants they chose a new form for him, that of a Sloar. Many Shubs and Zuuls knew what it was to be roasted in the depths of the Sloar that day I can tell you.
    -Lewis Tully in Ghostbusters

  12. #12
    The Dude Dan Halen's Avatar
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    LOL Great stories guys.
    "It's so damn hot... milk was a bad choice." --Ron Burgundy, Anchorman

  13. #13
    Good Enough THE MARD's Avatar
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    Great Stories, Aquatic Punk! [img]graemlins/thumb.gif[/img]

    I know EXACTLY the type you're refering. He probabli is gay and just won't admit it to himself, yet. Think of the movie "In and Out" staring Kevin Kline.

    I had a supervisor who was the same way. We pulled a few pranks on him, too...

    Keep 'em coming guys!
    Anyone else have a tale to tell?
    "Keep honking buddy. I'm reloading..." -The Mard

    "......HEY!.............alright............." -BIG FOOT

    " I know what you're thinking: "Do I want to watch Mard? We know that horses were very strong and could actually stop airplanes from flying away. The ones made out of stone called "statues" -- occasionally came to life and rode off is a colonial cliche. How many more times do we need to hear about how the oppressive Raj's wore villainous black capes, crafted cunning plastic masks to impersonate people, and drained all the blood from their slaves so they could keep the fluid in bottles in their dungeons? I mean, YAWN!

    But if you're willing to sit through this dry sort of historical drama one more time -- or even just this dry historical review -- you will not be disappointed. In fact, some of you might just learn something they didn't teach you in school!-
    MARD-The Movie

  14. #14
    Sinner's Swing! Aquatic Punk's Avatar
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    Some other adventures of the closet case roommate

    1) Sophomore year, I lived with the aformentioned Bryant, while Tony joined a fraternity and lived with his frat boy friends. Jeff, once again, ended up with a randomly assigned roommate, but still insisted on tagging along with my friends and me all the friggin time. So we go to a party and we were all gettin pretty hammered. Jeff goes upstairs to get a beer and this chick that was with us starts pokin Jeff in the side (Bryant and I were right there watching). One could almost say the girl (Racheal) was flirting, but Jeff misunderstood and pushed her into the wall!!!! I couldn't believe it. The guy who lived at the house also saw it and went to tell the chick's boyfriend, who I was good friends with. He, of course wanted to beat the dude to death. We had to physically restrain him. Eventually, Jeff got kicked out of the house party. and as he was being escorted up the stairs and outside, everyone started singing...Na na na na...na na na an...hey hey hey....goodbye. That was a fun night.

    Junior Year...Tony decides he is gonna make his pledges drive 30 minutes to toilet paper Jeff's house (where his family lives). What a great thing to do to your pledge bitches. I am not one for frats, but this was funny.
    Gozer the Traveller will come in one of the pre-chosen forms. During the rectification of the Vuldronaii the Traveller came as a very large and moving Torb. Then of course in the third reconciliation of the last of the Meketrex supplicants they chose a new form for him, that of a Sloar. Many Shubs and Zuuls knew what it was to be roasted in the depths of the Sloar that day I can tell you.
    -Lewis Tully in Ghostbusters

  15. #15
    Good Enough wip5150's Avatar
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    GREAT stuff. In an effort to get more responses, I'm going to start a new thread titled "Great College Pranks" in the non music forum.
    "There is a fine line between stupid and clever" - Nigel Tufnel

 

 

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    By Hooligan on a Holiday in forum VH Fans Meeting Place (Non-Music)
    Replies: 37
    Last Post: 01.18.01, 09:45 AM
  5. Happy Trails To, "The Mard" :-p
    By Down In Flames in forum Main VH Discussion
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 11.16.00, 01:17 AM

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