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  1. #1
    Baluchitherium
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    12.31.69 @ 04:00 PM
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    >>It is impossible to lick your elbow.
    >>
    >>
    >>A crocodile can't stick it's tongue out.
    >>
    >>
    >>A shrimp's heart is in their head.
    >>
    >>
    >>People say "Bless you" when you sneeze because when you sneeze, your
    >heart
    >>stops for a mili-second.
    >>
    >>
    >>In a study of 200,000 ostriches over a period of 80 years, no one
    >reported
    >>a single case where an ostrich buried its head in the sand (or attempte=
    d
    >to
    >>do so - apart from Bones).
    >>
    >>
    >>It is physically impossible for pigs to look up into the sky.
    >>
    >>
    >>A pregnant goldfish is called a twit.
    >>
    >>
    >>Between 1937 and 1945 Heinz produced a version of Alphabetti Spaghetti
    >>especially for the German market that consisted solely of little pasta
    >>swastikas.
    >>
    >>
    >>More than 50% of the people in the world have never made or received a
    >>telephone call.
    >>
    >>
    >>Rats and horses can't vomit.
    >>
    >>
    >>The "sixth sick sheik's sixth sheep's sick" is said to be the toughest
    >>tongue twister in the English language.
    >>
    >>
    >>If you sneeze too hard, you can fracture a rib. If you try to suppress
    >a
    >>sneeze, you can rupture a blood vessel in your head or neck and die. I=
    f
    >>you keep your eyes open by force, they can pop out.
    >>
    >>
    >>Rats multiply so quickly that in 18 months, two rats could have over
    >>million descendants.
    >>
    >>
    >>Wearing headphones for just an hour will increase the bacteria in your
    >ear
    >>by 700 times.
    >>
    >>
    >>If the government has no knowledge of aliens, then why does Title 14,
    >>Section 1211 of the Code of Federal Regulations, implemented on July 16=
    ,
    >>1969, make it illegal for U.S. citizens to have any contact with
    >>extraterrestrials or their vehicles?
    >>
    >>
    >>In every episode of Seinfeld there is a Superman somewhere.
    >>
    >>
    >>The cigarette lighter was invented before the match.
    >>
    >>
    >>Thirty-five percent of the people who use personal ads for dating are
    >>already married.
    >>
    >>
    >>A duck's quack doesn't echo, and no one knows why.
    >>
    >>
    >>23% of all photocopier faults worldwide are caused by people sitting on
    >>them and photocopying their buttocks.
    >>
    >>
    >>In the course of an average lifetime you will, while sleeping, eat 70
    >>assorted insects and 10 spiders.
    >>
    >>
    >>Most lipstick contains fish scales.
    >>
    >>
    >>Cat's urine glows under a black-light.
    >>
    >>
    >>Like fingerprints, everyone's tongue print is different.
    >>
    >>
    >>Over 75% of people who read this will try to lick their elbow.

    so who tried to lick their elbow...???
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<br /><br />God Bless the USA!!!!<br />~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  2. #2
    carpe damn diem billy007's Avatar
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    12.11.17 @ 09:09 AM
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    1. The numbers on the blackboard in the Hot For Teacher video correspond to numbers that spell "Holy Sh*t" backwards.

    2. What the painting looks like that the Fair Warning cover art came from? Click Here!

    3. Van Halen currently holds the World Record for the most Number One singles on the Billboard Mainstream Rock Tracks chart with 11.

    4. 1984 was the first album recorded at the 5150 studio, where every VH album has been recorded since.

    5. The Japanese cover for Balance only features one child. This is the only VH album released with alternate cover art.

    6. The song Top Jimmy from 1984 is about LA-based blues band Top Jimmy & The Rhythm Pigs.

  3. #3
    Eruption
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    12.31.69 @ 04:00 PM
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    Originally posted by billy007:
    1. The numbers on the blackboard in the Hot For Teacher video correspond to numbers that spell "Holy Sh*t" backwards.

    2. What the painting looks like that the Fair Warning cover art came from? Click Here!

    3. Van Halen currently holds the World Record for the most Number One singles on the Billboard Mainstream Rock Tracks chart with 11.

    4. 1984 was the first album recorded at the 5150 studio, where every VH album has been recorded since.

    5. The Japanese cover for Balance only features one child. This is the only VH album released with alternate cover art.

    6. The song Top Jimmy from 1984 is about LA-based blues band Top Jimmy & The Rhythm Pigs.
    ROFLMGFAO! [img]graemlins/thumb.gif[/img]
    I'm a Dirty-Faced Kid... so could some cute female do me the favor and lick me clean, please?!<br /><br />"Nobody rules these streets at night but me... the ATOMIC PUNK!" - DLR (1978)<br /><br />"This must be just like living in paradise... and I don't wanna go home" - DLR (1988)<br /><br />"So put it off until judgment day... I bear the cross on judgment day" - Sammy Hagar (1991)<br /><br />Obey the DFK!<br /><br /><b>IF YOU'RE DFK... YOU'RE DFK 4 LIFE!</b>

  4. #4
    Super Duper Frontman track 5's Avatar
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    12.03.17 @ 09:00 PM
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    Premium Member
    Originally posted by ANGEL4U:
    People say "Bless you" when you sneeze because when you sneeze, your
    heart
    stops for a mili-second.

    Actually that saying came from the middle ages when people thought that when one sneezes, they were ridding the body of evil spirits.

    They were just so damn nutty back in the day. Out.
    Quin-a-se-i-co

    You're a dick for putting ian on "ignore" DIF

    "You stupid fuck!" Seen

    "Well if you saw it, stats and scientific studies be damned!" Lovemachine 97 v. 2.

  5. #5
    Good Enough
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    12.31.69 @ 04:00 PM
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    Wearing headphones for just an hour will increase the bacteria in your
    &gt;ear
    &gt;&gt;by 700 times.
    you know how long i'm on the computer a day ?!1 like 4-5 hours week day 7-9 hours on weekend days AND ALL THAT TIME I PLAY MUSIC in headphones. [img]graemlins/scared.gif[/img]
    This is home, this is Mean Street!<br /><br /><b><br />Then one year you find ten years have gotten behind, no one told you when to run, you missed the starting gun. - Pink Floyd, Time</b><br /><br />"Everyone knows that Van Halen with Roth is the only real Van Halen."- Mike Tramp<br /><br /><a href="http://www.vhforums.com/vhlforum/ultimatebb.php?ubb=get_topic;f=12;t=001366&p=66#00 1635" target="_blank"> OBEY THE DFK!!</a>

  6. #6
    Atomic Punk BREW CREW's Avatar
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    08.27.17 @ 09:39 AM
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    I dislocated my shoulder trying to lick my elbow!!!!!! can I sue???? Ohh shit!!! I just sneezed and I have headphones on and I smoke and drank a couple of beers..and about to have sex with a beautiful blonde in a water bed...can I drown or should I just call 911 now so they can take me away before I have a stroke because I farted near my gas stove which is more than 10 years old and is by a bathroom door that is installed near a ceiling that may have asbestos that causes cancer in the nostrils if you breathe the dust.
    Just go for it!

  7. #7
    Baluchitherium
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    05.12.06 @ 06:39 PM
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    I tried to lick my elbow
    I am awesome

  8. #8
    Atomic Punk BREW CREW's Avatar
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    08.27.17 @ 09:39 AM
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    Originally posted by Unchained Wolfie:
    I tried to lick my elbow
    It hurts ...doesn't it!!!! [img]graemlins/cry.gif[/img]
    Just go for it!

  9. #9
    Hot For Teacher
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    12.31.69 @ 04:00 PM
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    Wearing headphones for just an hour will increase the bacteria in your
    &gt;ear
    &gt;&gt;by 700 times.
    This has caused many an ear infection when i was a bit younger cuz i lived with my headphones on. [img]redface.gif[/img] ALthough, the doc i had to go to was a really cute guy, plus, he was a VH fan! [img]graemlins/thumb.gif[/img]
    The pessimist says the cup is half empty. The optimist says it's half full. The pragmatist says its liquid contents are at 50% capacity. The ironist says its half full of air. The plumber says the cup must be leaking. George Carlin says the cup is too big. The Starbucks employee says its so you have room for cream. The conspiracy theorist says aliens took the other half. The baseball player says his cup is definitely full. MacGuyver says he can build a powerful explosive with it. The psychoanalyst says the cup is your mother. The punk sitting next to you also says the cup is your mother. The romance novelist says the cup is a willing receptacle to the wild gushing torrents of pure passion from the hard chiseled urn. The zen master says There is no cup. Pamela Anderson says her cups are definitely full. Me? Refill!

  10. #10
    XTC man! homeunit's Avatar
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    09.05.15 @ 12:20 PM
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    Eagles can't look up.

    Neither can owls.

  11. #11
    Damage your reputation seenbad's Avatar
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    11.30.17 @ 06:15 PM
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    Donor

    That contained some really fascinating shit! [img]graemlins/thumb.gif[/img]

    Track5, I feel I must contest the bless you thing, but will offer that there may be two interpretations. Yours does indeedy sound quite legit.

    God Bless you did stem from the fact that your heart stops briefly during a sneeze. When this was discovered, people started saying god bless you to assure that it kicks back into gear ok, with the good graces of God.

    And Homey, I feel the need to argue that eagles cant look up. I'm pretty sure I've seen them doing it. lol
    sheepa latta peepah dabba looka foh a moopy

    Gunter glieben glauchen globen

  12. #12
    Damage your reputation seenbad's Avatar
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    11.30.17 @ 06:15 PM
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    Donor

    And thats bullshit that a ducks quack doesnt echo. No way man. Scientifically impossible. If its audible, it echos. ....theres just no way. lol
    sheepa latta peepah dabba looka foh a moopy

    Gunter glieben glauchen globen

  13. #13
    Super Duper Frontman track 5's Avatar
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    12.03.17 @ 09:00 PM
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    Premium Member
    Originally posted by seenbad:
    That contained some really fascinating shit! [img]graemlins/thumb.gif[/img]

    Track5, I feel I must contest the bless you thing, but will offer that there may be two interpretations. Yours does indeedy sound quite legit.

    God Bless you did stem from the fact that your heart stops briefly during a sneeze. When this was discovered, people started saying god bless you to assure that it kicks back into gear ok, with the good graces of God.

    And Homey, I feel the need to argue that eagles cant look up. I'm pretty sure I've seen them doing it. lol
    You see this I what I get when I try to remember things that I thought I had learned in college. I'll do some research and will prove my point damn you.

    I'm still trying to figure out why a ducks quack dosen't echo. I've never heard that theory before. Out.
    Quin-a-se-i-co

    You're a dick for putting ian on "ignore" DIF

    "You stupid fuck!" Seen

    "Well if you saw it, stats and scientific studies be damned!" Lovemachine 97 v. 2.

  14. #14
    Atomic Punk BREW CREW's Avatar
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    08.27.17 @ 09:39 AM
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    Before toilet paper was invented, people used to wipe their ass with their left hand...that is why people shake hands with their right hand...to be polite! [img]graemlins/thumb.gif[/img]
    Just go for it!

  15. #15
    Atomic Punk BREW CREW's Avatar
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    08.27.17 @ 09:39 AM
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    Also: If a doctor tells you to not drink regular caffein coffee..ask them how they make de-caff....
    they actually soak the coffee beans in formeldahyde to neutralize the caffeine to "suck" out the caffeine. Anyone want decaff tomorrow? [img]graemlins/irked.gif[/img] [img]graemlins/wtf.gif[/img]
    Just go for it!

 

 

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