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Thread: Van Lesbian

  1. #1
    Good Enough
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    12.31.69 @ 04:00 PM
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    A strikingly handsome young man walked into the office of a Hollywood agent with his resume and portfolio in hand. The agent reviewed the young man's slim resume and small portfolio with the care that was deserving of this fine young specimen.

    "You have the very obvious good looks and excellent demeanor of an actor. Tell me, have you had any roles that I might be aware of other
    than the requisite high school and college plays?

    "No Sir," said the handsome young man.

    "I dare say I know the reason why... with a name like yours," said the agent.


    "Your name, Penis Van Lesbian. That's not a name that will go far in Hollywood. I'd love to represent you, but you'll have to change your

    "Sir," the handsome young man protested, "The Van Lesbian name was my father's, my grandfather's and his father's name. We have carried this
    name for generations and I will not change it for Hollywood or any other reason."

    "If you won't change your name, I cannot represent you, young man."

    "Then I bid you farewell my name will not change." And with that, Penis Van Lesbian left the agent's office never to return.

    Five Years Later...

    The Hollywood agent returned to his office after lunch with some producers and shuffled through his mail. Mostly junk mail, trade journals and the like. There was one letter. He opened the envelope and removed the letter. As he unfolded the fine linen paper, a check dropped from the folds and onto his desk. It was for $50,000! He read the letter:

    Dear Sir:

    Several years ago, I entered your office determined to become an actor. You refused to represent me unless I changed my name. I bjected,
    saying that the Penis Van Lesbian name had been in my family for generations and left your office. However, upon leaving, I decided to
    reconsider my hastiness and after considerable reflection, I decided to heed your advice and endeavored to change my name.

    Now I am a famous actor with many roles and known to millions world wide. Having achieved this fame and fortune, it is often that I think back to my meeting with you and your insistence that I change my name.
    I owe you a debt of gratitude, so please accept this check with my humble thanks, for it was your idea which has brought me to such wealth and fame.

    Very Sincerely Yours,

    Dick Van Dyke

    (Same Friend...)
    <a href="" target="_blank">VHWalkathon - Project 316</a><br /><br />EVH: The music is first and foremost. That's the way it's always been and that's the way it will always be. Because without the music, what is there? Nothing. There's nothing without the music. You can't even cop an attitude without the music (laughs).

  2. #2
    Atomic Punk Wolfman's Avatar
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    07.20.17 @ 02:43 PM
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    LOL! That's funny.

    I thought Gully had changed his name there for a sec.



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