Thread: Bizarre News
12.17.01, 10:07 AM #1Test5150Guest
+-------------------- Bizarre Revenge ---------------------+
After his wife left him, spurned husband Donald Niblett wrecked their home with a bulldozer, causing damage in excess of 15,000 English pounds.
In 1988, an Egyptian belly-dancer paid back her unfaithful husband by going on a massive spending spree with his credit card totaling $46,000 before flying to his villa in France and smashing the place up.
A married pilot dismissed his mistress from his London apartment. The young woman agreed to leave but asked for a day to pack her belongings. When he returned from an overseas flight he found the phone off the hook. His mistress had made a long distance call to the speaking clock in Washington D.C.
A housewife, distraught over her husband's unfaithfulness, decided to throw herself out of the window of their third floor apartment. She didn't realize her husband was walking beneath. She survived, he did not.
---------- Repeat Voyeur Uses Sneakercam at Church ---------
TAMPA, Florida - "Peep Shoe" voyeur Daniel Searfross has struck again. Searfross was originally arrested on New Year's Eve for wiring a camera hidden in his shoe so he could video tape under women's skirts. The case was called "sneakercam", and the voyeur was sentenced to a year probation. Searfross couldn't control his voyeuristic habits, though, and was arrested again for using the device at a flea market. Once again on probation, Searfross took his fun and games to a new level. This time, he hooked up the video camera on his sneaker to look up women's skirts at church and even at his parole office. He is currently in jail on a $75,000 bond. Circuit Judge Walker R. Heinrich said, "I tell you, there's something that just rubs me wrong when you're on probation and you're
doing this offence."
------------------- Virus Writers Nabbed -------------------
You thought it would never happen. Those insidious computer viruses that paralyze computers and ruin lives have to be written by someone, but the shadowy villains are rarely, if ever, even identified, much less prosecuted. That changed earlier this week when Israeli police arrested the creators of the "Goner" worm which wreaked havoc on tens of thousands of personal computers and communications networks around the world. And the identity of the evil geniuses behind the worm? Four snot-nosed teenagers who wrote the virus as a game to disable each others computers. If convicted, the teens could face a jail sentence of up to five years.
-- Man Becomes Aroused Vacuuming and Loses Part of Penis ---
ITALY - A 63-year-old Italian man was vacuuming and decided to watch a porn tape to keep him entertained. Strike one. He became so aroused that he put his penis into the vacuum cleaner and part of it was chopped off by the cleaner's fan. Strike two. He hastily put the severed part into the freezer as he called an ambulance for help. He carried the separate piece to the hospital wrapped in a newspaper where he told doctors he had cut it off when shaving his pubic hair. Officials alerted the police anyway. Police later found blood on the man's vacuum, and he finally admitted how this happened. The severed piece was reattached during surgery, but doctors don't expect it to function properly again. Strike three.
----------- Michigan Woman Sex Slave to Dentist ------------
A 26-year-old woman from Farmington Hills, MI got more than a cleaning when she went to her dentist back in November. After the appointment the dentist charmed her into having dinner with him, but once he got her into his apartment he allegedly drugged her and held her captive from November 1 to December 10. Police found the dazed woman after she made a 911 call from the apartment. Detectives searched the dentist's apartment, office and car. They confiscated about a dozen videotapes, including videos of the 44-year-old man engaging in sex acts with the victim who is described as appearing drugged.
Classic Bizarre Moments from the Archives
"Society is safe again," announced police officer William Foster, following the capture of a pet rabbit that had terrorized the town of Ashland, Massachusetts. AP reports that "Snowball", who is described as being "about the size of a big kitten," had attacked three adults and a child in the past two weeks.
12.17.01, 10:08 AM #2Test5150Guest
+------------------ Sexual Urban Legends ------------------+
A woman is suing the pharmacy that sold her a contraceptive jelly. The woman ate the stuff on toast and got pregnant anyway. Many legal experts are convinced that she's got an excellent chance of collecting...FALSE
Residents of an apartment building hear a neighbor screaming for help and find a naked woman tied to a bed. She and her husband had been engaged in a superhero role-playing fantasy, and the costumed husband had knocked himself out attempting to jump onto his wife from atop the dresser...FALSE
After a young man slips his date an aphrodisiac and leaves her alone in the car, he returns to find that she has impaled herself on the stick shift handle in a sexual frenzy...FALSE
A man was shot in the groin area. The bullet passed through one of his testicles destroying it. This bullet traveled on and struck a young woman, passing through her uterus. This bullet deposited sperm within her uterus resulting in pregnancy. She carried the child to term...FALSE
One day, a woman is prank called by two DJ's from a local radio station. One of the DJ's claims that he is her husband's boss. He tells the woman that her husband has just been fired because he stole something and because he slept with a colleague. The woman gets mad and shouts that this means that she doesn't have to feel guilty anymore about her adultery with her husband's brother a couple of months ago. TRUE (according to the Youngstown, OH radio station CD 93.3)
--- Canadian Man Makes "Bear-proof" Suit with Duct Tape ----
Troy Hurtubise of North Bay, Ontario has invested fifteen years of tinkering and nearly $100,000 in what he hopes is a bear-proof suit. The design, which incorporates rubber, chainmail, galvanized steel, titanium - and thousands of feet of duct tape, has so far proven itself to be virtually indestructible. An overly-confident Hurtubise has survived two strikes with a tree trunk, 18 collisions with a 3-ton
truck at 40 mph, numerous strikes by arrows, axes and even bullets. "I've never had a bruise," he commented. The final test, however, will be against a nine foot Kodiak bear. Hurtubise is banking on the titanium layers around the chest, head and lower body to protect him. If there's a weakness, he says, it's the chainmail joints.
--------- Strapped for Cash? Sell Human Body Parts! --------
NIGERIA - Many of us are strapped for cash during the holiday season, and Nigerian mortuary and cemetery workers know this all too well. While some may take a second job, these workers took advantage of an opportunity right at their fingertips. They are selling human body parts at markets to earn some extra money. Research reflects that the demand for human parts is increasing, so the workers can fulfill this need. While dry human parts, like a skull, sell well, a fresh one sells for quite a bit more. In fact, Herbalists are specifically interested in heads, genitalia, eyes, breasts, kidneys, hearts, fingers, hair, blood and toes. Police are beginning
to crack down on such markets. Capitalism at its best.
12.17.01, 10:10 AM #3Test5150Guest
------- Court Comes to Decision in Sperm Donor Case --------
STOCKHOLM - In an indirect admonition to "keep it in your pants" no matter what, a court in Sweden has ruled that a man who donated sperm for artificial insemination must pay child support. The ruling came after the unhappy couple, a pair of Swedish lesbians, ended their ten-year relationship leaving the care of their three children in question. Normally, sperm donors are strictly anonymous and not liable for children conceived with their semen, while in this case the man was a friend of the couple and his identity as the father is in no doubt. [Clearly not THAT good of a friend.]
-- Would-Be Robbers Dejectedly Leave After Being Ignored --
BELGIUM - A gang of three would-be armed robbers entered a bowling hall with high hopes of a good score. The hall was so busy and packed with customers that no one even heard the robbers demands. As they shouted a demand for money from the till and waved their rifles, employees kept serving the customers and filling drinks. One server said, "We were so busy...we had really no time to find out what they wanted. It was only after they left and one visitor asked why they were wearing weapons, we realized they were robbers."
--------- Erotic Christ Play Lands Couple in Jail ----------
SANTIAGO - In an effort to illustrate to people how "worthless" their lives are, Maria Barrios, 21, and Luis Guzman, 26, were arrested for public indecency. The couple performed an erotic play about Christ just outside a Santiago cathedral. Wearing a see-through dress, Barrios began seducing Guzman as he was acting Christ's role on the cross. According to Guzman, he was so aroused that he dropped his pants to reveal his manhood to the audience. He told a newspaper that "Dropping my trousers isn't in the script. It was a moment of pure inspiration." The police didn't see it that way, however, and the couple faces prison time for their acts of indecency. Guzman explained the performances as a "form of protest. We try and show people that life is worthless. That's the most
pure art." Others would call it porn.
------ Romanian Students Up to Ears With Cockroaches -------
ROMANIA - The students at Bacau University should have cooperated when specialists wanted to disinfect their dorm rooms during the summer. Instead, they refused to let them into their quarters, and some are now paying the price. One 20-year-old student named Maria P couldn't get rid of a bad headache and went to the doctor for advice. The doctor discovered a cockroach had crawled into her ear and died. For this, the student should be thankful according to the doctor. Dr. Zenovia Dumbrava said, "The girl was lucky it died otherwise she could have lost her hearing." In a similar situation, a student named Ana N. thought she had a common
cold. She said, "I thought I'd caught a cold. When I blew my nose a cockroach came out. It was awful."
------------- "Take Me To Your Union Leader." --------------
LAS VEGAS - Has the United States government subcontracted the security of its most top-secret installation to rent-a-cops? 70 security guards known as the "camo dudes" walked off their jobs Monday in Las Vegas and at the covert base known as Area 51 where, rumor has it, the military keeps all of the flying saucers that crash across the country. When asked if he worked at Area 51, union President Vernell Hall said he can't talk about it. "Use your imagination," was his only comment. Hall said the association's members decided to go on strike after three months of negotiations for a new contract. They want $16 instead of $15 per hour to guard the nations secrets.
Classic Bizarre Moments from the Archives
LONDON - Two women were killed by a bolt of lightning in Hyde Park when their underwire bras acted as conductors, a coroner
said Wednesday. "I think this was a tragic case, a pure act of God," coroner Paul Knapman told an inquest into the deaths. He recorded a verdict of death by misadventure. The two women, Anuban Bell, 24, and Sunee Whitworth, 39, had been sheltering under a tree in the park during a thunderstorm. Pathologist Dr Iain West said both women were wearing underwire bras and had been left with burn marks on their chests from the electrical current that passed through their bodies. Death would have been instant, he said. The bodies were not discovered until the following day because passers-by thought they were vagrants.
12.17.01, 03:05 PM #4Test5150Guest
I wish I would have read that "I'm a daddy" thread before I posted this one. There ain't NOTHING Bizarre News has to offer that can possibly top that.
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