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  1. #1
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    12.31.69 @ 04:00 PM
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    Time for more cooking tips from yours truly. Aprons optional...
    Don't bark at me...<b>I</b> didn't name ya.

  2. #2
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    12.31.69 @ 04:00 PM
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    Steak tip:

    For those of you who still haven't figured out how to keep your steaks from turning into leather, try this simple trick...

    Turn your grill to the highest temperature you can get. While it's heating up, put some olive oil in a skillet, and heat that up as high as you can. Toss each steak in the skillet for a few seconds on each side, just long enough to sear it.

    When you grill them, do it quickly. When you flip them over, pour a little beer on the cooked side.

    If they still come out dry, either you bought the wrong steaks, the wrong grill, or you're hopeless. If such is the case, find the nearest Outback or similar establishment and let them do it for ya.
    Don't bark at me...<b>I</b> didn't name ya.

  3. #3
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    12.31.69 @ 04:00 PM
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    Breaded chicken/pork chop tip:

    Do everything as you normally would, except add Abe's secret breading ingredient to your mix:

    taco seasoning

    It may sound strange, but it works wonders. Just don't overdo it.
    Don't bark at me...<b>I</b> didn't name ya.

  4. #4
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    12.31.69 @ 04:00 PM
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    Still working with barbeque sauce straight from the bottle? COWARDS!!!!!!

    Try this: For a normal size bottle of sauce (16 oz. I think), you need to add two extra ingredients--&gt;1 shot of whiskey (brand of your choice; no need for a fine Scotch here!), and the other ingredient is tea. Not brewed tea, or powdered tea, I mean the actual tea leaves as you would find in a tea bag. Just rip one open, and sprinkle about one third of the contents into your BBQ sauce/whiskey mix. Your sauce will take on a whole new life.
    Don't bark at me...<b>I</b> didn't name ya.

  5. #5
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    12.31.69 @ 04:00 PM
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    Abe's Politically Incorrect Pot Roast

    Those of you with slow cookers/Crock Pots have the edge here.

    You need:

    a roast, preferably chuck
    water
    whiskey
    red cooking wine
    white cooking wine
    pepper
    beef bouillion cubes (2 or 3)
    corn starch

    First, cut the extra fat off of the meat, unless of course you want the fat, and in that case leave it on.

    Smash, pulverize, or otherwise reduce the bouillion cubes to dust, and toss them into the pot.

    Add 1-1.5 cups of water, 1/2 cup of red cooking wine, one shot of whiskey, and some pepper (enough to give it zing, but not enough to make ya sneeze) to the pot. Stir until somewhat blended.

    Put the meat into the pot. No veggies here; usually people add potatoes, carrots, etc, to a roasting pot, but not here. This is the ultra-carnivorous recipe.

    Cook on low for 8-10 hours. You'll know it's done when it falls apart upon contact. Carefully remove the roast from the pot.

    Now for the kicker: the gravy.

    The pot should have a wonderful combination of water, red wine, pepper, bouillion, whiskey, and pepper in it. Slowly add in corn starch. Stir constantly. Use enough corn starch to make the gravy a little TOO thick, thicker than what normal gravy would be, but thinner than pudding. To get the desired consistency, stir in the white cooking wine. Use the wine to make it as thick or thin as you want. Leave the gravy in the pot for 5-10 minutes to fully blend. Shake in some more pepper if desired.

    Caution: the resulting gravy is rich. High in fat, calories, and booze; just the thing to piss off the wheat-germ crowd. Anyway, a little gravy will go a LONG way.

    This has to be tasted to be believed. Many people dread the mere mention of pot roast, since it's often tough, dry, and bland. Those words do not apply to this recipe, I assure you.
    Don't bark at me...<b>I</b> didn't name ya.

  6. #6
    Master Bluesman Elwood P.'s Avatar
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    12.11.17 @ 12:58 PM
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    Premium Member
    Originally posted by AbeVanHalen:
    Steak tip:

    When you flip them over, pour a little beer on the cooked side.

    I'm all for that.
    "I'm the opposite of Bill Cosby. Diamond Dave always gets your approval." (DLR)

    "Kids, just say NO to marriage". (Al Bundy)

    Rawhide in "A"

    OAA

  7. #7
    Sinner's Swing! chewbaccamonkeylunch's Avatar
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    02.16.16 @ 06:50 AM
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    Donor

    Best thing so far is that booze comes with each and every tip so far. Yes....a trend I sense [img]graemlins/thumb.gif[/img]
    The trashman was my hero.......
    -Seenbad

  8. #8
    Sinner's Swing! chewbaccamonkeylunch's Avatar
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    02.16.16 @ 06:50 AM
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    Donor

    Chewi's Heartburn Heaven

    Any of you folks need something to go with your ribs, steak, or chicken on the grill?
    Try this one out..........

    Core a head of cabbage, place a few heads of garlic and some butter where the core was.
    Wrap that sucker in some foil and throw it on the grill for an hour or so.

    MMMMMM Good [img]graemlins/thumb.gif[/img]
    The trashman was my hero.......
    -Seenbad

  9. #9
    On Fire TopJimmy1978's Avatar
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    12.11.17 @ 02:48 PM
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    Originally posted by AbeVanHalen:
    Abe's Politically Incorrect Pot Roast

    Those of you with slow cookers/Crock Pots have the edge here.

    You need:

    a roast, preferably chuck
    water
    whiskey
    red cooking wine
    white cooking wine
    pepper
    beef bouillion cubes (2 or 3)
    corn starch

    First, cut the extra fat off of the meat, unless of course you want the fat, and in that case leave it on.

    Smash, pulverize, or otherwise reduce the bouillion cubes to dust, and toss them into the pot.

    Add 1-1.5 cups of water, 1/2 cup of red cooking wine, one shot of whiskey, and some pepper (enough to give it zing, but not enough to make ya sneeze) to the pot. Stir until somewhat blended.

    Put the meat into the pot. No veggies here; usually people add potatoes, carrots, etc, to a roasting pot, but not here. This is the ultra-carnivorous recipe.

    Cook on low for 8-10 hours. You'll know it's done when it falls apart upon contact. Carefully remove the roast from the pot.

    Now for the kicker: the gravy.

    The pot should have a wonderful combination of water, red wine, pepper, bouillion, whiskey, and pepper in it. Slowly add in corn starch. Stir constantly. Use enough corn starch to make the gravy a little TOO thick, thicker than what normal gravy would be, but thinner than pudding. To get the desired consistency, stir in the white cooking wine. Use the wine to make it as thick or thin as you want. Leave the gravy in the pot for 5-10 minutes to fully blend. Shake in some more pepper if desired.

    Caution: the resulting gravy is rich. High in fat, calories, and booze; just the thing to piss off the wheat-germ crowd. Anyway, a little gravy will go a LONG way.

    This has to be tasted to be believed. Many people dread the mere mention of pot roast, since it's often tough, dry, and bland. Those words do not apply to this recipe, I assure you.
    Dude that definetly sounds like my kind of pot roast [img]graemlins/thumb.gif[/img] [img]graemlins/drunk.gif[/img] [img]graemlins/thumb.gif[/img]

  10. #10
    Sinner's Swing! chewbaccamonkeylunch's Avatar
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    02.16.16 @ 06:50 AM
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    Donor

    Abe, when you say "cook on low" does that mean like 250 degrees?
    The trashman was my hero.......
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  11. #11
    Sinner's Swing! chewbaccamonkeylunch's Avatar
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    02.16.16 @ 06:50 AM
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    Donor

    Aaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh, gotta get a crock pot! Today is payday, they can't cost that much. Anyone know of a good brand?
    The trashman was my hero.......
    -Seenbad

  12. #12
    Good Enough ScottRoberts's Avatar
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    04.05.12 @ 09:06 AM
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    Donor

    Originally posted by chewbaccamonkeylunch:
    Aaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh, gotta get a crock pot! Today is payday, they can't cost that much. Anyone know of a good brand?
    We have a Rival crock pot that does a fairly good job.
    Scott Roberts
    The Official Scott Roberts Blog - http://www.scottrobertsweb.com
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  13. #13
    Sinner's Swing! chewbaccamonkeylunch's Avatar
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    Donor

    Ok, a Rival it will be.
    I guess since it is fucking raining here all the time....I will cook in the pot all weekend.
    I'll do the roast on Sat. anything else good in one of those things?
    The trashman was my hero.......
    -Seenbad

  14. #14
    Eruption BigBadBrian's Avatar
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    08.12.10 @ 07:15 AM
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    Also: Friends don't let friends use a gas grill!
    "Tardy? I don't feel tardy!"

    "I won't go down in history, but I will go down on your sister!" - DLR

    Pride and Glory - the Packer Story!

  15. #15
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    12.31.69 @ 04:00 PM
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    Originally posted by chewbaccamonkeylunch:
    Abe, when you say "cook on low" does that mean like 250 degrees?
    Damn, I was hoping I wouldn't get that question.

    The recipe I gave is geared towards the crock pot crowd. Using a conventional oven for it is something I haven't tried. So, I will make a guess...

    Generally, roasting meat in the oven is done at 325 degrees, and for a MUCH shorter period of time. I imagine that simply using the same ingredients would work fairly well, even though the cooking environment is different. If you have to resort to an oven, I guess everything would remain the same except that the length of time needed to cook would not only be much shorter, but would vary depending on the weight of the roast itself. I'm sure you can cook at a much lower temperature for a longer period of time, but I don't know what the figures are. (the crock pot I use has low and high settings, nothing more)If I would actually read a cookbook, I'd be of more help.

    If I was going to try it that way, I would probably marinate the meat in the bouillion/wine/whiskey/water mix for a couple hours before cooking, and hope for the best. I would also cover the cooking container the whole time to prevent all the moisture from evaporating away.

    But this is summer, and I don't want to run the oven for a few hours during the day. It's been hot enough as it is; no need to make it worse! So, the slow cooker is an ideal appliance: it's very forgiving (in terms of cooking time), it makes things tasty, and it doesn't lose much heat to the room it's in. Also, you can prepare your ingredients for whatever you're making the night before or in the morning, let it cook all day unattended, and come home to have it almost completely ready for you, so you don't have to make dinner after you've just been through a long day.

    $#$#&#*&%#$@$%(*%(*%*#^%$#$^%(**^%&#@

    One more thing to add to the recipe...

    If you don't want to eat it as a lump of meat, you can shred the meat (once it's cooked), mix it into the gravy, and make sandwiches out of it. This works well if you've got leftover roast; it makes a great next-day lunch. [img]graemlins/thumb.gif[/img]

    Gee, I hope that helped. [img]graemlins/bounce.gif[/img]
    Don't bark at me...<b>I</b> didn't name ya.

 

 

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