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  1. #1
    Good Enough Vince G.'s Avatar
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    09.21.15 @ 04:44 PM
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    Telemarketers.

    Fucking HATE them. Wish them all a fiery death. They manage to call at the wrong time, which, for me, is all the time.

    There is this thing out there called the "TeleZapper. Has anyone bought this, or know anyone that has? If so, does it actually work? I'd appreciate some feedback.

    Thanks! [img]smile.gif[/img]
    "Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that."

    "This is a lttle prayer dedicated to the separation of church and state. I guess if they are going to force those kids to pray in schools they might as well have a nice prayer like this: Our Father who art in heaven, and to the republic for which it stands, thy kingdom come, one nation indivisible as in heaven, give us this day as we forgive those who so proudly we hail. Crown thy good into temptation but deliver us from the twilight's last gleaming. Amen and Awomen. ."

    "I think it's the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately."

    -George Carlin 1937 - 2008

  2. #2
    Good Enough
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    12.19.16 @ 05:15 PM
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    Donor

    About 4 years ago I sent a coupla letters to Farmington, NY (one for mail, one for phone) to stop the stuff and it worked. My understanding is that it is good for 2 years. Got the address from the phone book.
    BTW, telemarketing is heavily legislated where I live.

  3. #3
    Damage your reputation seenbad's Avatar
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    11.30.17 @ 06:15 PM
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    Donor

    Start acting retarded like those crank yankers guys and have some fun with it. [img]graemlins/devil.gif[/img]
    sheepa latta peepah dabba looka foh a moopy

    Gunter glieben glauchen globen

  4. #4
    Romeo Delight
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    12.31.69 @ 04:00 PM
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    I come home and see the answering machine message button beeping and then check the caller ID and see "12 messages" so I go and check them and 95% of the time, all of the #'s are "unavailable" and there's no messages. I check the call times and they're usually in exact intervals like 20 minutes, 30 minutes, 45 minutes etc. It's ridiculous. It's gotten to the point where my mother even leaves the phone off the hook just to avoid them while missing calls from actual people. I fuckin' HATE telemarketers.

  5. #5
    Sinner's Swing! el_jalepeno's Avatar
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    10.28.15 @ 05:22 PM
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    Donor

    Originally posted by Vince G.:
    Telemarketers.

    Fucking HATE them. Wish them all a fiery death. They manage to call at the wrong time, which, for me, is all the time.

    There is this thing out there called the "TeleZapper. Has anyone bought this, or know anyone that has? If so, does it actually work? I'd appreciate some feedback.

    Thanks! [img]smile.gif[/img]
    Here you go my man. From CNN...
    http://www.cnn.com/2002/TECH/ptech/0...nna/index.html

  6. #6
    Eruption
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    01.23.09 @ 11:26 AM
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    I just do the Sienfeld bit;
    "Hello?.. Oh.. well, I'm a little busy right now.. Tell ya what... Just give me YOUR home phone number & when I have some free time I'll call YOU back.... Oh? You dont want a stranger to call you when you're in the privacy of your own home ay?... ASSHOLE"!
    [img]graemlins/thumb.gif[/img]
    Plstrcast everywhere else, Smudge NYC here.. so kiss my arse!<br /><br /><a href="http://www.cdbaby.com/cd/smudgenyc" target="_blank">http://www.cdbaby.com/cd/smudgenyc</a>

  7. #7
    Atomic Punk Raldo's Avatar
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    12.13.17 @ 02:13 AM
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    Yes, they are pain-in-the-asses but I try to give them some slack. It's not a fun job but if it puts food on the table, what can you say. And no, I'm not one of them.
    Remember the Heroes - 9/11/01

    In 2012, the phoenix has risen!!

    "High speed, low drag."

    "Look at all the people here tonight!!!" - 10/5/07, 5/20/08 Mohegan Sun

    Congratulations to Van Halen as part of the Class of 2007 Rock and Roll Hall of Fame!

    Cinco de Cabo @ Foxwoods: "A giant party with live music" - S. Hagar

    got tequila?

    http://keepitaliveforever.com

  8. #8
    5150 Crown Royal's Avatar
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    12.07.17 @ 01:08 PM
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    Tormenting Telemarketers

    Tormenting Telemarketers. A Game You Can Play at Home!
    Everyone has gotten a call from a Telemarketer. The new
    Scourge of the Telephone System. Previously when the phone
    rang, you always wondered if it was someone you knew, or
    another schmuck with something to sell. Well, the time has
    come to turn the tables. We need to take control of our own
    phones. We need to take the "market" out of Telemarketing.

    Premise:
    Telemarketers take the brute force approach to making sales.
    If you talk to a whole bunch of people, someone will buy what
    you are selling.

    Counter-Tactic:
    Waste as much of their time as you can. For each
    minute that you waste means several potential customers that
    will not be reached. Make Telemarketing unprofitable.
    Hanging up only increases the changes for them to make a
    sale. Don't let this happen!

    Hints:
    Most of the preliminary stuff is done by someone making
    minimum wage, and reads a script. Let them finish. It's easy
    points, and you were watching Star Trek and weren't using
    your phone anyway. It's easy to keep them interested using
    "attentive grunting", similar to when your mother calls.

    Scoring:

    Basic Point System:

    For each minute spent on the phone - 10 pts.

    Getting transferred to someone who makes
    more than minimum wage - 15 pts.

    For each minute spent on the phone with person making more
    than minimum wage - 25 pts

    Bonus Points:

    Getting them to repeat part of the "script" - 5 pts/each.

    Getting answers to stupid questions - 15 pts/each

    Changing the subject - 50 pts/each.

    Making the salesperson angry - 175 pts.

    Making the salesperson hang up - 750 pts.

    Call back, get their boss on the phone, and
    tell them the salesperson hung up on you - 1500 pts.

    Getting their 1-800-number - 10 pts.

    Checking the number a week later and it is
    busy or disconnected - 5000 pts.

    Example:

    Ring
    Me: Yes?
    Them: Hi, I'm with Fly-By-Night Carpet Cleaning and we're
    in your area [...] [start clock-&gt;]
    Them: [...] would like to know it you are interested?
    Me: Sure...
    Them: Well, we are currently offering [...]
    Them: [...] depending on the size of the rooms.
    Me: Well, how much for the whole house? [15 bonus
    pts!]
    Them: Let me transfer you to
    Them: Sir?
    Me: Yes? [25 pts/min!]
    Them: How large is your house?
    Me: Oh, about 2,000 sqft.
    Them: [...] Well, that would be about $xxx
    Me: [duh?] It won't hurt the floor, will it?
    Them: Oh, no! We use a [...this usually takes some
    time!...] and is completely safe.
    Me: [duh?] Even with my pets?
    Them: Oh, yes. The chemicals we use [...]
    Me: Do you have to pre-treat, since I have pets?
    Them: Yes, and we do that with [...]
    Me: [repeat!] But the original offer was for
    $39.95, does that include treating for pets?
    Them: [...]
    Me: [subject change] Well, it is kind of dirty. The
    guys were over for the game. Did you see the Cowboys vs. the
    Rams?
    Them: Yes.
    Me: What a game! That last touchdown pass! Wasn't that
    a great play?
    Them: Well, back to your house...
    Me: Oh yes, what about moving the furniture?
    Them: [...]
    Me: [subject change] Do you clean furniture, too?
    Those guys spilled some beer. Have you smelled old beer on
    furniture before? But what a game, eh?! I couldn't believe
    that they couldn't move the ball in the second
    quarter...[...]
    Them: [angry???] Ahem... Would you like us to come out?
    Me: Well, when could you come out?
    Them: How about next week?
    Me: Hmmm... Morning or afternoon?
    Them: Either would be fine.
    Me: Do you have anything the week after?
    Them: Sure, can I put you down for Tuesday?

    [Okay, let's try for those last big bonus points:]

    Me: Well, I don't think it matters, since I have all
    hardwood floors here!
    Them: click Yes! 750 points!

  9. #9
    Sinner's Swing! Aquatic Punk's Avatar
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    01.11.12 @ 06:57 PM
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    their are lots of ways to deal with telemarketers. I say, have some fun with 'em. Like people have suggested....they're treating you like some faceless "potential customer"...they don't care that your eating, or takin a nap, or rubbin one off in the bathroom. So, why should you care about them...There is no limit to what you can do...when they ask for you be name, say the person is dead...hit on the person on the other end (once, I got a telemarketer to hang up on ME).

    just have fun with it.
    Gozer the Traveller will come in one of the pre-chosen forms. During the rectification of the Vuldronaii the Traveller came as a very large and moving Torb. Then of course in the third reconciliation of the last of the Meketrex supplicants they chose a new form for him, that of a Sloar. Many Shubs and Zuuls knew what it was to be roasted in the depths of the Sloar that day I can tell you.
    -Lewis Tully in Ghostbusters

  10. #10
    Atomic Punk Bob_R's Avatar
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    12.13.11 @ 02:09 PM
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    Donor

    Originally posted by SMUDGE NYC:
    I just do the Sienfeld bit;
    "Hello?.. Oh.. well, I'm a little busy right now.. Tell ya what... Just give me YOUR home phone number & when I have some free time I'll call YOU back.... Oh? You dont want a stranger to call you when you're in the privacy of your own home ay?... ASSHOLE"!
    [img]graemlins/thumb.gif[/img]
    Yeah that was a great bit bro! [img]graemlins/thumb.gif[/img]

  11. #11
    Eye suffacozza YEWW! Goo's Avatar
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    12.11.17 @ 05:34 PM
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    Premium Member
    Originally posted by Aquatic Punk:
    their are lots of ways to deal with telemarketers. I say, have some fun with 'em. Like people have suggested....they're treating you like some faceless "potential customer"...they don't care that your eating, or takin a nap, or rubbin one off in the bathroom. So, why should you care about them...There is no limit to what you can do...when they ask for you be name, say the person is dead...hit on the person on the other end (once, I got a telemarketer to hang up on ME).

    just have fun with it.
    I agree. You ring me up, you put up with my shit. Don't like it? Don't ring me up.

    Easy
    A little zen....... Headed your way.......

  12. #12
    Good Enough
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    05.17.09 @ 06:50 AM
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    Donor

    Originally posted by seenbad:
    Start acting retarded like those crank yankers guys and have some fun with it. [img]graemlins/devil.gif[/img]
    I only use my cell now but the last time I got a telemarketing phone call I let the guy go through his thing and mustered up a pretty raunchy fart, put the phone to my ass and cut him off with it. I was laughing so hard when I did it that I almost crapped my drawers.

  13. #13
    no stinkin click! muffdiver's Avatar
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    02.28.14 @ 07:54 PM
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    Premium Member

    Donor

    LMFAO.....i bet the telemarketerwas even laughinm'

  14. #14
    5150 Crown Royal's Avatar
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    12.07.17 @ 01:08 PM
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    Originally posted by ericgtr:
    </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by seenbad:
    Start acting retarded like those crank yankers guys and have some fun with it. [img]graemlins/devil.gif[/img]
    I only use my cell now but the last time I got a telemarketing phone call I let the guy go through his thing and mustered up a pretty raunchy fart, put the phone to my ass and cut him off with it. I was laughing so hard when I did it that I almost crapped my drawers.</font>[/QUOTE]LMFAO!!!!!!!

    I can just imagine the guys thoughts "I'm gonna get tis one".

    Then all of a sudden..... [img]graemlins/wtf.gif[/img] [img]graemlins/wtf.gif[/img] [img]graemlins/wtf.gif[/img]

    !!!!!

  15. #15
    Romeo Delight
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    12.31.69 @ 04:00 PM
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    They have reached the breaking point with me... I used to try to have fun with them, but now my patience has ended. Whenever a fucking telemarketer calls, I THREATEN to kill them. They usually hang up pretty fast.
    <b>In my veins courses the blood of the ancients... I am one of the rightful heirs to this planet!</b>

 

 

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