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  1. #1
    Good Enough
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    From a Marine in Bosnia. Note the signature, but read it last.


    A funny thing happened to me yesterday at Camp Bondsteel (Bosnia): A French army officer walked up to me in the PX, and told me he thought we (Americans) were a bunch of cowboys and were going to provoke a war. He said if such a thing happens, we wouldn't be able to count on the support of France.

    I told him that it didn't surprise me. Since we had come to France's rescue in World War I, World War II, Vietnam, and the Cold War, their ingratitude and jealousy was due to surface at some point in the near future anyway. That is why France is a third-rate military power with a socialist economy and a bunch of faggots for soldiers.

    I additionally told him that America, being a nation of deeds and action, not words, would do whatever it had to do, and France's support was only for show anyway. Just like in ALL NATO exercises, the US would shoulder 85% of the burden, as evidenced by the fact that the French officer was shopping in the American PX, and not the other way around.

    He began to get belligerent at that point, and I told him if he would like to, I would meet him outside in front of the Burger King and beat his ass in front of the entire Multi-National Brigade East, thus demonstrating that even the smallest American had more fight in him than the average Frenchman. He called me a barbarian cowboy and walked away in a huff.

    With friends like these, who needs enemies?

    Mary Beth Johnson LtCol, USMC

  2. #2
    Good Enough weesfreewheelin's Avatar
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    Going to war without France is like going to war without a Banjo
    Know Roth
    Know Van Halen

    No Roth
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  3. #3
    Sinner's Swing! el_jalepeno's Avatar
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    Hehe.. I dig chicks who kick ass [img]graemlins/thumb.gif[/img]

  4. #4
    Eruption BigBadBrian's Avatar
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    08.12.10 @ 07:15 AM
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    French President Jacques Chirac debuted his stand-up act today:

    How many Frenchmen does it take to change a lightbulb? Nobody knows, they're too afraid of the dark to try it.

    Why do the French smell? So blind people can hate them, too.

    How many Frenchmen does it take to win a war? Give up? So did they!

    How can you tell who are the French soldiers on the battlefield? They are the ones wearing running shoes.
    "Tardy? I don't feel tardy!"

    "I won't go down in history, but I will go down on your sister!" - DLR

    Pride and Glory - the Packer Story!

  5. #5
    Hang 'Em High MAX's Avatar
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    06.03.10 @ 11:18 AM
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    I don't trust any country with that many French-speaking people, okay? They treat Americans like shit. You know why? Because years ago, they gave us the croissant--Le cwah-soh--and what'd we do? We turned it into a Croissandwich. Thank you very much. Thank you very much!

    You got any PATE? I'd like some of that, too, some chicken liver PATE would be very nice. I don't pronounce it paté--I'm not gonna pronounce that little faggly squiggly mark over the "e," okay? I'm an American, I pay my taxes, it's "pate," as far as I'm concerned. Like that singer, Sadé. "Well, my name is spelled "Sade," but I pronounce it "Sha-day." Hey, my name's Dennis, I'm gonna pronounce it "Teh-fleh," okay? Then we can all be fuckin' French. Pronounce your name the way it's spelled! And then you can suck on my pené, okay? (Freaks out imitating French)

    I have enough problems in my life, worrying about cancer and tumors and war and everything else. I have to walk into a coffee shop in the middle of Manhattan every morning and go, "Yeah, gimme a cup of coffee, and then gimme one of those"--what do I say? "Cre-saah? Cre-sah? Cre-saw?" (Makes unintelligible French-type noises) "Hey, gimme a fuckin' donut, okay, pal? Gimme a donut with chocolate icing on top and nothing inside"--I don't trust people who put shit inside of fuckin' donuts, okay? "Well, it's only hot blueberry sauce." "It could be hot French semen for all I know, pal! I want a donut!" (More French noises)

    France. France. A country that made Jerry Lewis famous, for Chrissakes. France. Fraance. Fraance. "What's your name?" "Jean-Paul." "Where do you live?" "Pon-peh."

    -Dennis Leary, No Cure For Cancer
    EAT US AND SMILE!!!!

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  6. #6
    Sinner's Swing! chewbaccamonkeylunch's Avatar
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    02.16.16 @ 06:50 AM
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    Oh yeah, just so no one says "but that story is fake just check snopes" ........sure its fake, but it sure is funny [img]tongue.gif[/img]

    [ February 24, 2003, 02:25 PM: Message edited by: chewbaccamonkeylunch ]
    The trashman was my hero.......
    -Seenbad

  7. #7
    Good Enough
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    Donor

    Originally posted by chewbaccamonkeylunch:

    LMAO... That is fuckin funny man!

  8. #8
    Good Enough badkaraoke's Avatar
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    01.15.14 @ 05:39 AM
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    http://www.snopes.com/military/marine.htm

    For anyone who thinks that's real, click above.

    As if that were close to being funny. The cartoons were much more of a laugh.

    That's just more bullshit copy-n-paste hateful propaganda that probably didn't even come from an American soldier. At least I hope not. To paraphrase Snopes...a real soldier, especially one serving in the Balkans, would know Camp Bondsteel is in Kosovo, not Bosnia.

    [ February 24, 2003, 03:37 PM: Message edited by: badkaraoke ]

  9. #9
    Eruption BigBadBrian's Avatar
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    08.12.10 @ 07:15 AM
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    Originally posted by Ou812max:
    I don't trust any country with that many French-speaking people, okay? They treat Americans like shit. You know why? Because years ago, they gave us the croissant--Le cwah-soh--and what'd we do? We turned it into a Croissandwich. Thank you very much. Thank you very much!

    You got any PATE? I'd like some of that, too, some chicken liver PATE would be very nice. I don't pronounce it paté--I'm not gonna pronounce that little faggly squiggly mark over the "e," okay? I'm an American, I pay my taxes, it's "pate," as far as I'm concerned. Like that singer, Sadé. "Well, my name is spelled "Sade," but I pronounce it "Sha-day." Hey, my name's Dennis, I'm gonna pronounce it "Teh-fleh," okay? Then we can all be fuckin' French. Pronounce your name the way it's spelled! And then you can suck on my pené, okay? (Freaks out imitating French)

    I have enough problems in my life, worrying about cancer and tumors and war and everything else. I have to walk into a coffee shop in the middle of Manhattan every morning and go, "Yeah, gimme a cup of coffee, and then gimme one of those"--what do I say? "Cre-saah? Cre-sah? Cre-saw?" (Makes unintelligible French-type noises) "Hey, gimme a fuckin' donut, okay, pal? Gimme a donut with chocolate icing on top and nothing inside"--I don't trust people who put shit inside of fuckin' donuts, okay? "Well, it's only hot blueberry sauce." "It could be hot French semen for all I know, pal! I want a donut!" (More French noises)

    France. France. A country that made Jerry Lewis famous, for Chrissakes. France. Fraance. Fraance. "What's your name?" "Jean-Paul." "Where do you live?" "Pon-peh."

    -Dennis Leary, No Cure For Cancer
    [img]graemlins/thumb.gif[/img]
    "Tardy? I don't feel tardy!"

    "I won't go down in history, but I will go down on your sister!" - DLR

    Pride and Glory - the Packer Story!

  10. #10
    Atomic Punk MikeL's Avatar
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    No career officer would make the mistake of calling the frogs faggots in print.

  11. #11
    Good Enough badkaraoke's Avatar
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    01.15.14 @ 05:39 AM
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    Originally posted by MikeL:
    No career officer would make the mistake of calling the frogs faggots in print.
    Oooooh...enfante terrible MikeL just used a bad word. What's that, 5800 posts Mr. Van Halen message board War Expert? Get out much?

    Mwahahahahahaha...fuck.


    bk

    [ February 24, 2003, 05:23 PM: Message edited by: badkaraoke ]

  12. #12
    Baluchitherium dirtymovies's Avatar
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    11.12.17 @ 09:04 PM
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    Donor

    Originally posted by ericgtr:
    From a Marine in Bosnia. Note the signature, but read it last.


    A funny thing happened to me yesterday at Camp Bondsteel (Bosnia): A French army officer walked up to me in the PX, and told me he thought we (Americans) were a bunch of cowboys and were going to provoke a war. He said if such a thing happens, we wouldn't be able to count on the support of France.

    I told him that it didn't surprise me. Since we had come to France's rescue in World War I, World War II, Vietnam, and the Cold War, their ingratitude and jealousy was due to surface at some point in the near future anyway. That is why France is a third-rate military power with a socialist economy and a bunch of faggots for soldiers.

    I additionally told him that America, being a nation of deeds and action, not words, would do whatever it had to do, and France's support was only for show anyway. Just like in ALL NATO exercises, the US would shoulder 85% of the burden, as evidenced by the fact that the French officer was shopping in the American PX, and not the other way around.

    He began to get belligerent at that point, and I told him if he would like to, I would meet him outside in front of the Burger King and beat his ass in front of the entire Multi-National Brigade East, thus demonstrating that even the smallest American had more fight in him than the average Frenchman. He called me a barbarian cowboy and walked away in a huff.

    With friends like these, who needs enemies?

    Mary Beth Johnson LtCol, USMC
    This is a GREAT post! It sums up my thoughts perfectly! [img]graemlins/thumb.gif[/img]

  13. #13
    Eruption BigBadBrian's Avatar
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    Q. How many Frenchmen does it take to defend Paris?
    A. Nobody knows, they have never tried it.

    Q. The French have just ordered a new national flag.
    A. It's a white cross on a white background.

    Q. Why did the French plant trees on the Champs Elysées?
    A. So the Germans could march in the shade.

    Q. Where do you find 60 million French jokes?
    A. In France.

    Q. What's the difference between a Wonderbra and the French World Cup (football) squad?
    A. A Wonderbra has decent support - and a cup.

    Q. Define confusion.
    A. Father's Day in Paris.

    Q. What is the first thing you are taught when joining the French army?
    A. To say "I surrender" in German. (or Arabic!)

    Q. Why was Jesus not born in France?
    A. Because they couldn't find three wise men or a virgin.

    Q. A British, American and French soldier were offered a wish each by a genie after rubbing a lamp they found while training in the desert.
    A. The British soldier said: "I want to be in the Bahamas with a beautiful girl." The American said: "I want to be in Hawaii with a hula dancer and a crate of beer." After they were whisked off, the French soldier thought for a moment and said: "I wish the Brit and American were here to help me decide."

    Q. Jacques Chirac walked into a bar with a parrot on his head and the landlord said: "How did that happen?"
    A. The parrot said: "It all started as a little pimple on my bottom."

    Q. Why don't the French like the fireworks at Disneyland Paris?
    A. Because every time they go off, people start trying to surrender.

    Q. Why do the French eat snails?
    A. It gives them speedier reactions.

    Q. When East and West Germany got back together there were talks to relocate the capital city . . .
    A. . . . back to Paris.

    Q. What's the difference between a French woman and a werewolf?
    A. The French woman is not quite as hairy but the werewolf smells better.

    Q. In a rare show of bravery, a French soldier answered an order from his commanding officer and ran out on to the field of battle - in the line of fire - to retrieve a dispatch case from a dead soldier and dashed back to his HQ.
    A. The officer said: "I'm recommending you for a medal for risking your life to save the details of the locations of our secret warehouses." "Warehouses?" said the soldier. "Sacré bleu! I thought you said whorehouses."
    "Tardy? I don't feel tardy!"

    "I won't go down in history, but I will go down on your sister!" - DLR

    Pride and Glory - the Packer Story!

  14. #14
    Banned!
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    03.20.07 @ 12:01 PM
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    Originally posted by badkaraoke:
    </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by MikeL:
    No career officer would make the mistake of calling the frogs faggots in print.
    Oooooh...enfante terrible MikeL just used a bad word. What's that, 5800 posts Mr. Van Halen message board War Expert? Get out much?

    Mwahahahahahaha...fuck.

    bk
    </font>[/QUOTE]So true, so true.
    [img]graemlins/thumb.gif[/img] [img]tongue.gif[/img]

  15. #15
    Good Enough Van Gully's Avatar
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    strungout you're a communist turd, so shut yer yap! Or I'll take away your civil rights.
    "Gully, watch yourself. I am dead serious." - Brett Norton, Emperor of VHLinks.com

 

 

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