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  1. #1
    Little Dreamer
    Join Date
    12.08.01
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    Favorite VH Album

    Diver Down/OU812
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    12.31.69 @ 04:00 PM
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    T'was the night before Christmas - Old Santa was pissed
    He cussed out the elves and threw down his list

    Miserable little brats, ungrateful little jerks
    I have good mind to scrap the whole works

    I've busted my ass for damn near a year
    Instead of "Thanks Santa" - what do I hear

    The old lady bitches cause I work late at night
    The elves want more money - The reindeer all fight

    Rudolph got drunk and goosed all the maids
    Donner is pregnant and Vixen has AIDS

    And just when I thought that things would get better
    Those assholes from IRS sent me a letter

    They say I owe taxes - if that ain't damn funny
    Who the hell ever sent Santa some money

    And the kids these days - they all are the pits
    They want the impossible ...Those mean little shits

    I spent a whole year making wagons and sleds
    Assembling dolls...Their arms, legs and heads

    I made a ton of yo yo's - No request for them
    They want computers and robots...I'm not IBM!

    If you think that's bad...just picture this
    Try holding those brats...with their pants full of piss

    They pull on my nose - they grab at my beard
    And if I don't smile...parents think I'm weird

    Flying through the air...dodging the trees
    Falling down chimneys and skinning my knees

    I'm quitting this job...there's just no enjoyment
    I'll sit on my fat ass and draw unemployment

    There's no Christmas this year...now you know the reason
    I found me a blonde...and going SOUTH for the season!!
    "Clinton lied. A man might forget where he parks or where he lives, but he never forgets oral sex, no matter how bad it is."--Barbara Bush (Former US First Lady)

  2. #2
    Good Enough
    Join Date
    12.06.01
    Location
    Jacksonville, FL
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    06.29.07 @ 03:57 PM
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    [img]smile.gif[/img]
    From 3-13 to 10-6 and NFC South Champs.....go Saints!

    My Hurricane Katrina pics

  3. #3
    Sinner's Swing! Sunya's Avatar
    Join Date
    02.09.01
    Location
    Winter Haven, FL
    Posts
    3,053
    Favorite VH Album

    Balance
    Favorite VH Song

    Girl Gone Bad
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    02.10.10 @ 10:42 PM
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    "Suppose you were an idiot ... And suppose you were a member of Congress... But I repeat myself."
    --Mark Twain


    There's no one as smart as a gambler at the track putting thier last $10.00 on the longest shot of the day.

  4. #4
    Test5150
    Guest
    <blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Gwen South:
    going SOUTH for the season!!<hr></blockquote>


    HA! I get it.

  5. #5
    Baluchitherium
    Join Date
    02.18.00
    Location
    Cowtown
    Posts
    5,196
    Favorite VH Album

    Van Halen
    Favorite VH Song

    Me Wise Magic
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    09.15.15 @ 08:40 AM
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    <blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Gwen South:
    Those assholes from IRS sent me a letter

    They say I owe taxes - if that ain't damn funny
    Who the hell ever sent Santa some money
    <hr></blockquote>the north pole is in canada, so he doesn't have to worry about the IRS.

    but actually that's pretty damn funny. [img]smile.gif[/img]

  6. #6
    Little Dreamer
    Join Date
    12.08.01
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    Favorite VH Album

    Diver Down/OU812
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    12.31.69 @ 04:00 PM
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    Here's another Christmas Joke:

    RAIN OR SNOW IN ST PETE

    A Russian couple was walking down the street in St. Petersburg, when the man felt a drop hit his nose.

    "I think it's raining," hesaid to his wife.

    "No, that felt more like snow to me," she replied.

    "No, I'm sure it was just rain," he said.

    Well, as these things go, they were about to have a major argument about whether it was raining or snowing. Just then they saw a minor communist party official walking toward them.

    "Let's not fight," the man said, "Let's ask Comrade Rudolf whether it's officially raining or snowing."

    As the official approached, the man said, "Tell us, Comrade Rudolf, is it officially raining or snowing?"

    "It's raining, of course," he answered and walked on.

    But the woman insisted: "I know that felt like snow!"

    To which the man quietly replied: "Rudolf the Red knows rain, dear!"
    "Clinton lied. A man might forget where he parks or where he lives, but he never forgets oral sex, no matter how bad it is."--Barbara Bush (Former US First Lady)

 

 

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