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  1. #1
    Atomic Punk Wolfman's Avatar
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    07.20.17 @ 03:43 PM
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    This thread is dedicated to our resident comedienne, Angel4U.

    We've got threads dedicated to everything under the sun here from drinking to teen porn (sorry, just kidding E.B.A.S. crew. ), so I figured we can save poor Angel some work and keep a home for the humor she lightens our days with - Here's lookin' at you, kid -

    I'll start it off -

    A little girl was playing in the garden when she spotted two spiders mating. "Daddy, what are those two spiders doing?" she asked. "They're mating," her father replied. "What do you call the spider on top, Daddy?" she asked. "That's a daddy longlegs." her father answered. "So, the other one is a mommy longlegs?" the little girl asked. "No," her father replied. "Both of them are daddylonglegs,"

    The little girl thought for a moment, then took her foot and stamped them flat.

    "Well, we're not having THAT sort of shit in our garden."



    ------------------


    *gulp* - Down In Flames

    "...like falling down the stairs and landing on your feet." - Edward Van Halen describing his solos.

    "And I swore to myself, I swore to myself that some day, some day...I was going to smoke joints that big." - DLR, Crazy From The Heat

    Wolfman's Van Halen Shrine - http://home.earthlink.net/~theflyingwolfman

    [This message has been edited by Wolfman (edited February 16, 2001 at 04:43 PM).]

  2. #2
    Baluchitherium
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    That's so sweet of you, Wolfman

    I really appreciate it, and would like to request the viewers of this thread give feedback

    Great joke, BTW

    I'll see what I can dig up

  3. #3
    Baluchitherium
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    > A man is dining in a fancy restaurant and there is
    > a gorgeous redhead
    > sitting at the next table. He has been
    > checking her out since he sat
    > down, but lacks the nerve to talk with her.
    >
    > Suddenly she sneezes and her glass eye comes
    > flying out of its socket
    > towards the man.He reflexively reaches out,
    > grabs it out of the air, and
    > hands it back.
    >
    > "Oh my, I am sooo sorry," the woman says as
    > she pops her eye back in
    > place."Let me buy your dinner to make it up
    > to you," she says.
    >
    > They enjoy a wonderful dinner together, and
    > afterwards the theater
    > followed by drinks. They talk, they laugh,
    > she shares her deepest dreams
    > and he shares his. She listens.
    >
    > After paying for everything, she asks him if
    > he would like to come to
    > her place for a nightcap...and stay for
    > breakfast the next morning.
    >
    > The next morning, she cooks a gourmet meal
    > with all the trimmings. The
    > guy is amazed!! Everything had been
    > incredible!!!!
    >
    > "You know," he said, "you are the perfect
    > woman. Are you this nice to
    > every guy you meet?"
    >
    > "No, she replies........."
    >
    >
    > (Wait for it...)
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    > (It's coming.............)
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    > (The suspense is killing you........)
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    > "You just happened to catch my eye."
    >-------------------------------------------

    BABY QUIZ

    Q: Should I have a baby after 35?
    A: No, 35 children is enough.

    Q: I'm two months pregnant now. When will my baby move?
    A: With any luck, right after he finishes college.

    Q: How will I know if my vomiting is morning sickness or the flu?

    A: If it's the flu, you'll get better.

    Q: What is the most common pregnancy craving?
    A: For men to be the ones who get pregnant.

    Q: What is the most reliable method to determine a baby's sex?
    A: Childbirth.

    Q: The more pregnant I get, the more often strangers smile at me.
    Why?
    A: 'Cause you're fatter than they are.

    Q: My wife is five months pregnant and so moody that sometimes
    she's borderline irrational.
    A: So what's your question?

    Q: What's the difference between a nine-month pregnant woman and
    a model?
    A: Nothing (if the pregnant woman's husband knows what's good for
    him).

    Q: How long is the average woman in labor?
    A: Whatever she says divided by two.

    Q: My childbirth instructor says it's not pain I'll feel during
    labor, but pressure. Is she right?
    A: Yes, in the same way that a tornado might be called an air
    current.

    Q: When is the best time to get an epidural?
    A: Right after you find out you're pregnant.

    Q: Is there any reason I have to be in the delivery room while my
    wife is in labor?
    A: Not unless the word "alimony" means anything to you.

    Q: Is there anything I should avoid while recovering from
    childbirth?
    A: Yes, pregnancy.

    Q: Does pregnancy cause hemorrhoids?
    A: Pregnancy causes anything you want to blame it for.

    Q: What does it mean when a baby is born with teeth?
    A: It means that the baby's mother may want to rethink her plans
    to nurse.

    Q: What is the best time to wean the baby from nursing?
    A: When you see teeth marks.

    Q: Do I have to have a baby shower?
    A: Not if you change the baby's diaper very quickly.

    Q: Our baby was born last week. When will my wife begin to feel
    and act normal again?
    A: When the kids are in college.
    ----------------------------------------
    The room was full of pregnant women and their partners, and=20
    the Lamaze class was in full swing. The instructor was=20
    teaching the women how to breathe properly, along with=20
    informing the men how to give the necessary assurances at=20
    this stage of the plan.=20
    =20
    The teacher then announced,=20
    =20
    "Ladies, exercise is good for you. Walking is especially=20
    beneficial. And, gentlemen, it wouldn't hurt you to take the=20
    time to go walking with your partner!"=20
    =20
    The room really got quiet. Finally, a man in the middle of the=20
    group raised his hand.=20
    =20
    "Yes?" replied the teacher.=20
    =20
    "Is it all right if she carries a golf bag while we walk?"
    --------------------------------------------
    this is from a contest on Long Island. The requirements were=20
    >>to=20
    >>use=20
    >>the two words Lewinsky and Kaczynski (the Unabomber)=
    =20
    >>in=20
    >>a limerick.=20
    >> > > >Here are the three winners:=20
    >> > > >=20
    >> > > > Third place:=20
    >> > > >=20
    >> > > > There once was a gal named Lewinsky=20
    >> > > > Who played on a flute like Stravinsky=20
    >> > > > 'Twas "Hail to the Chief"=20
    >> > > > On this flute made of beef=20
    >> > > > That stole the front page from Kaczynski.=20
    >> > > >=20
    >> > > > Second place:=20
    >> > > >=20
    >> > > > Said Bill Clinton to young Ms. Lewinsky=20
    >> > > > We don't want to leave clues like Kaczynski,=20
    >> > > > Since you look such a mess,=20
    >> > > > Use the hem of your dress=20
    >> > > > And wipe that stuff off of your chinsky.=20
    >> > > >=20
    >> > > > And the winning entry:=20
    >> > > >=20
    >> > > > Lewinsky and Clinton have shown=20
    >> > > > What Kaczynski must surely have known:=20
    >> > > > That an intern is better=20
    >> > > > Than a bomb in a letter=20
    >> > > > Given the choice of how to be blown.=20
    ------------------------------------------

    Well this came out strange but I guess ya'll can follow

  4. #4
    Baluchitherium
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    12.31.69 @ 04:00 PM
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    =20
    Firm Up=20
    =20
    One morning while making breakfast, a man walked up to his wife and pinc=
    hed=20
    her on the butt and said, "If you firmed this up, we could get rid of yo=
    ur=20
    control top pantyhose." While this was on the edge of intolerable, she=20
    kept=20
    silent.=20
    =20
    The next morning, the man woke his wife with a pinch on each of her brea=
    sts=20
    and said, "You know, if you firmed these up, we could get rid of your br=
    a."=20
    =20
    That did it! She rolled over and grabbed him by his penis. With a deat=
    h=20
    grip in place, she said, "You know, if you firmed this up, we could get=20=
    rid=20
    of the gardener, the postman, the poolman and your brother!

  5. #5
    Atomic Punk Wolfman's Avatar
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    <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by ANGEL4U:
    That's so sweet of you, Wolfman
    <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

    Aw, shucks, you're welcome. Now I'm myself. LOL

    Great stuff -

    Here's another one -
    A first grade teacher was having trouble with one of her students. The
    teacher asked, "Johnny what is your problem?"

    Johnny answered, "I'm too smart for the first grade. My sister is in the
    third grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think should be in the third grade too!"

    The teacher had had enough. She took Johnny to the principal's office.
    While Johnny waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal what the situation was.

    The principal told the teacher he would give the boy a test and if he
    failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the first grade and behave. The teacher agreed.

    Johnny was brought in and the conditions are explained to him and he
    agrees to take the test.

    Principal: "What is 3 x 3?"
    Johnny: "9".

    Principal: "What is 6 x 6?"
    Johnny: "36".

    And so it went with every question the principal thought a third grader
    should know.

    The principal looks at the teacher and tells her, "I think Johnny can go
    to the third grade."

    The teacher says to the principal, "Let me ask him some questions?"

    The principal and Johnny both agree.

    Teacher: "What does a cow have four of that I have only two of?"
    Johnny, after a moment, "Legs."

    Teacher: "What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?"

    The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the
    answer, Johnny replied, "Pockets."

    Teacher: "What does a dog do that a man steps into?"

    Johnny: "Pants"

    Teacher: "What word starts with an 'F' and ends in 'K' that means a lot of
    excitement?"

    Johnny: "Fire truck"

    The principal breathed a sigh of relief and told the teacher, "Put Johnny
    in the fifth grade, I missed the last four questions myself."




    ------------------


    *gulp* - Down In Flames

    "...like falling down the stairs and landing on your feet." - Edward Van Halen describing his solos.

    "And I swore to myself, I swore to myself that some day, some day...I was going to smoke joints that big." - DLR, Crazy From The Heat

    Wolfman's Van Halen Shrine - http://home.earthlink.net/~theflyingwolfman

  6. #6
    Baluchitherium
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    Now this one does have "a bit of the Irish" in it.
    &gt;&gt; &gt; &gt; &gt; &gt;&gt;
    &gt;&gt; &gt; &gt; &gt; &gt;&gt; One fine day in Ireland, a guy is out golfing and
    &gt;&gt; &gt; &gt; &gt; &gt;&gt; gets up to the 16th hole. He tees up and cranks
    &gt;&gt; &gt; &gt; &gt; &gt;&gt; one. Unfortunately, it goes into the woods on the side
    &gt;&gt; &gt; &gt; &gt; &gt;&gt; of the fairway.
    &gt;&gt; &gt; &gt; &gt; &gt;&gt;
    &gt;&gt; &gt; &gt; &gt; &gt;&gt; He goes looking for his ball and comes across
    &gt;&gt; &gt; &gt; &gt; &gt;&gt; this little guy with this huge knot on his head and
    &gt;&gt; &gt; &gt; &gt; &gt;&gt; the golf ball lying right beside him. "Goodness,"
    &gt;&gt; &gt; &gt; &gt; &gt;&gt; says the golfer then proceeds to revive the poor little
    &gt;&gt; &gt; &gt; &gt; &gt;&gt; guy.
    &gt;&gt; &gt; &gt; &gt; &gt;&gt;
    &gt;&gt; &gt; &gt; &gt; &gt;&gt; Upon awakening, the little guy says,
    &gt;&gt; &gt; &gt; &gt; &gt;&gt; "Well, you caught me fair and square. I am a leprechaun.
    &gt;&gt; &gt; &gt; &gt; &gt;&gt; I will grant you three wishes."
    &gt;&gt; &gt; &gt; &gt; &gt;&gt; The man says "I can't take anything from you,
    &gt;&gt; &gt; &gt; &gt; &gt;&gt; I'm just glad I didn't hurt you too badly," and walks
    &gt;&gt; &gt; &gt; &gt; &gt;&gt; away.
    &gt;&gt; &gt; &gt; &gt; &gt;&gt;
    &gt;&gt; &gt; &gt; &gt; &gt;&gt; Watching the golfer depart, the leprechaun says,
    &gt;&gt; &gt; &gt; &gt; &gt;&gt; "Well, he was a nice enough guy, and he did
    &gt;&gt; &gt; &gt; &gt; &gt;&gt; catch me, so I have to do something for him. I'll
    &gt;&gt; &gt; &gt; &gt; &gt;&gt; give him the three things that I would want. I'll
    &gt;&gt; &gt; &gt; &gt; &gt;&gt; give him unlimited money, a great golf game, and a great
    &gt;&gt; &gt; &gt; &gt; &gt;&gt; sex life."
    &gt;&gt; &gt; &gt; &gt; &gt;&gt;
    &gt;&gt; &gt; &gt; &gt; &gt;&gt; Well, a year goes past (as they often do in jokes
    &gt;&gt; &gt; &gt; &gt; &gt;&gt; like this) and the same golfer is out golfing on the
    &gt;&gt; &gt; &gt; &gt; &gt;&gt; same course at the 16th hole. He gets up and hits
    &gt;&gt; &gt; &gt; &gt; &gt;&gt; one into the same woods and goes off looking for
    &gt;&gt; &gt; &gt; &gt; &gt;&gt; his ball. When he finds the ball he sees the same
    &gt;&gt; &gt; &gt; &gt; &gt;&gt; little guy and asks how he is doing.
    &gt;&gt; &gt; &gt; &gt; &gt;&gt;
    &gt;&gt; &gt; &gt; &gt; &gt;&gt; The leprechaun says, "I'm fine, and might I ask how your
    &gt;&gt; &gt; &gt; &gt; &gt;&gt; golf game is?"
    &gt;&gt; &gt; &gt; &gt; &gt;&gt;
    &gt;&gt; &gt; &gt; &gt; &gt;&gt; The golfer says, "It's great! I hit under par every time."
    &gt;&gt; &gt; &gt; &gt; &gt;&gt;
    &gt;&gt; &gt; &gt; &gt; &gt;&gt; "I did that for you," responds the leprechaun, "and might
    &gt;&gt; &gt; &gt; &gt; &gt;&gt; I ask how your money is holding out?"
    &gt;&gt; &gt; &gt; &gt; &gt;&gt;
    &gt;&gt; &gt; &gt; &gt; &gt;&gt; "Well, now that you mention it, every time I put
    &gt;&gt; &gt; &gt; &gt; &gt;&gt; my hand in my pocket, I pull out a hundred dollar bill"
    &gt;&gt; &gt; &gt; &gt; &gt;&gt; he replied.
    &gt;&gt; &gt; &gt; &gt; &gt;&gt;
    &gt;&gt; &gt; &gt; &gt; &gt;&gt; The leprechaun smiles and says, "I did that for you.
    &gt;&gt; &gt; &gt; &gt; &gt;&gt; And might I ask how your sex life is?"
    &gt;&gt; &gt; &gt; &gt; &gt;&gt;
    &gt;&gt; &gt; &gt; &gt; &gt;&gt; Now the golfer looks at him a little shyly and says,
    &gt;&gt; &gt; &gt; &gt; &gt;&gt; "Well, maybe once or twice a week."
    &gt;&gt; &gt; &gt; &gt; &gt;&gt;
    &gt;&gt; &gt; &gt; &gt; &gt;&gt; Floored, the leprechaun stammers, "Once or twice a
    &gt;&gt; &gt; &gt; &gt; &gt;&gt; week?!! That's all?!!"
    &gt;&gt; &gt; &gt; &gt; &gt;&gt;
    &gt;&gt; &gt; &gt; &gt; &gt;&gt; The golfer looks at him sheepishly and says,
    &gt;&gt; &gt; &gt; &gt; &gt;&gt; "Well, that's not too bad for a Catholic priest in a
    &gt;&gt; &gt; &gt; &gt; &gt;&gt; small parish."

  7. #7
    Imperial Fascist Overlord Down In Flames's Avatar
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    <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Wolfman:
    Aw, shucks, you're welcome. Now I'm myself. LOL <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

    Come on, get a room!



    The daddy longlegs joke was great, Wolf. And Angel, I liked the last one about the Catholic priest.

    Leprechauns rule.

    ------------------
    "Dude, he looks like Rumplestiltskien. Get back under the bridge mu-fugger!!" - An enlightened assessment after having viewed a photograph of Ray Daniels, provided by seenbad

    Official Bartender Of VHForums

  8. #8
    Baluchitherium
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    DIF? Are you Irish?

  9. #9
    Imperial Fascist Overlord Down In Flames's Avatar
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    Me, Irish? Whatever gave you that idea? LOL.

    I'm a Catholic priest.

  10. #10
    Atomic Punk Wolfman's Avatar
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    <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Down In Flames:
    Come on, get a room!



    <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

    LMAO - Like you should talk, Mr. Ronco Pimp-O-Matic.



    ------------------


    *gulp* - Down In Flames

    "...like falling down the stairs and landing on your feet." - Edward Van Halen describing his solos.

    "And I swore to myself, I swore to myself that some day, some day...I was going to smoke joints that big." - DLR, Crazy From The Heat

    Wolfman's Van Halen Shrine - http://home.earthlink.net/~theflyingwolfman

  11. #11
    Baluchitherium
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    You tell him, Wolfman

  12. #12
    Baluchitherium
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    <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Wolfman:
    LMAO - Like you should talk, Mr. Ronco Pimp-O-Matic.

    <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>that's funny shit, right there.



    ------------------
    EBAS!!!!
    i know i would!!!
    i am a Dirty Faced Kid, although i do fancy myself a good lookin' fellow...
    AD for life...
    Diamond Mafia... respect the family...fuhgetaboutit

  13. #13
    Romeo Delight Cabo5150's Avatar
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    Here's a tasteless joke for ya.

    &gt;A little boy comes home from school.
    &gt;His mom asks what he did in school today.
    &gt;The boy says well, I did some mat problems, read a story and had sex with my teacher.
    &gt;The mother can't believe what she has just heard. She scolds her son and tells him to get to his room until his father gets home.
    &gt;His father comes home and goes up to the boys room. He asks his son what's going on your mother wants me to talk to you.
    &gt;The son replies I don't know I just told mom I had sex with my teacher and she sent me to my room.
    &gt;Well the father is so happy for his son that he has sex at such a young age. He high fives his son and tells him to get his coat. He's going to take his son to the store and buy him whatever he wants to celebrate.
    &gt;They get to the store and after about 10 minutes the son decides on a bike.
    &gt;The father says if it's a bike you want it's a bike you'll get.
    &gt;So the father goes up and pays for it. He then asks his son if he wants him to put the bike in the trunk or does he want to ride it home.
    &gt;The son replies, you better put it in the trunk. My ass is still kinda sore!!!!!

    Not the greatest joke, but I've gotten a few laughs out of it

    ------------------
    Red Rocker Face Down in Cabo!!!

  14. #14
    Baluchitherium
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    This is good


    Subject: Bumper stickers
    &gt; &gt;
    &gt; &gt;
    &gt; &gt;
    &gt; &gt; 1. Constipated People Don't Give a Crap
    &gt; &gt; 2. Practice Safe Sex, Go Screw Yourself
    &gt; &gt; 3. If You Drink, Don't Park; Accidents Cause People
    &gt; &gt; 4. Who Lit The Fuse On Your Tampon?
    &gt; &gt; 5. If You Don't Believe In Oral Sex, Keep Your Mouth Shut
    &gt; &gt; 6. Please Tell Your Pants It's Not Polite To Point
    &gt; &gt; 7. If That Phone Was Up Your Butt, Maybe You Could Drive A Little Be=
    tter
    &gt; &gt; 8. My Kid Got Your Honor Roll Student Pregnant
    &gt; &gt; 9. Thank You For Pot Smoking
    &gt; &gt; 10. To All You Virgins - Thanks For Nothing
    &gt; &gt; 11. If At First You Don't Succeed...blame Someone Else And Seek
    &gt; Counseling
    &gt; &gt; 12. Impotence: Nature's Way Of Saying "No Hard Feelings"
    &gt; &gt; 13. If You Can Read This, I've Lost My Trailer
    &gt; &gt; 14. Horn Broken... Watch For Finger
    &gt; &gt; 15. It's Not How You Pick Your Nose, But Where You Put The Booger
    &gt; &gt; 16. If You're Not A Hemorrhoid, Get Off My Ass
    &gt; &gt; 17. You're Just Jealous Because The Voices Are Talking To Me
    &gt; &gt; 18. The Earth Is Full - Go Home
    &gt; &gt; 19. I Have The Body Of A God... Buddha
    &gt; &gt; 20. This Would Be Really Funny If It Weren't Happening To Me
    &gt; &gt; 21. So Many Pedestrians - So Little Time
    &gt; &gt; 22. Cleverly Disguised As A Responsible Adult
    &gt; &gt; 23. If We Quit Voting Will They All Go Away?
    &gt; &gt; 24. The Face Is Familiar But I Can't Quite Remember My Name
    &gt; &gt; 25. Eat Right, Exercise, Die Anyway
    &gt; &gt; 26. Illiterate? Write For Help
    &gt; &gt; 27. Honk If Anything Falls Off
    &gt; &gt; 28. Cover Me -- I'm Changing Lanes
    &gt; &gt; 29. He Who Hesitates Is Not Only Lost But Miles From The Next Exit
    &gt; &gt; 30. I Refuse To Have A Battle Of Wits With An Unarmed Person
    &gt; &gt; 31. You! Out Of The Gene Pool!
    &gt; &gt; 32. I Do Whatever My Rice Krispies Tell Me To
    &gt; &gt; 33. Where Are We Going And Why Am I In This Hand basket?
    &gt; &gt; 34. It's Been Lovely But I Have To Scream Now
    &gt; &gt; 35. I Haven't Lost My Mind, It's Backed Up On Disk Somewhere
    &gt; &gt; 36. If You Can Read This, The Bitch Fell Off. [Seen On The Back Of A
    &gt; &gt; Biker's
    &gt; &gt; Vest]
    &gt; &gt; 37. If Sex Is A Pain In The Ass, Then You're Doing It Wrong...
    &gt; &gt; 38. Fight Crime: Shoot Back!
    &gt; &gt; 39. If You Can Read This, Please Flip Me Back Over...[Seen Upside Do=
    wn,
    &gt; On
    &gt; &gt; A
    &gt; &gt; Jeep]
    &gt; &gt; 40. Remember Folks: Stop Lights Timed For 35mph Are Also Timed For 7=
    0
    &gt; mph
    &gt; &gt; 41. Guys: No Shirt, No Service
    &gt; &gt; Gals: No Shirt, No Charge [Reported To Be Seen On A Restaurant]
    &gt; &gt; 42. If Walking Is So Good For You, Then Why Does My Mailman Look Lik=
    e
    &gt; &gt; Jabba
    &gt; &gt; The Hut?
    &gt; &gt;
    &gt; &gt; 43. Necrophilia: That Uncontrollable Urge To Crack Open A Cold One
    &gt; &gt;
    &gt; &gt; 44. Ax Me About Ebonics
    &gt; &gt;
    &gt; &gt; 45. Body By Nautilus; Brain By Mattel
    &gt; &gt;
    &gt; &gt; 46. Boldly Going Nowhere
    &gt; &gt;
    &gt; &gt; 47. Cat: The Other White Meat
    &gt; &gt;
    &gt; &gt; 48. Caution - Driver Legally Blonde!
    &gt; &gt;
    &gt; &gt; 49. Don't Be Sexist - Broads Hate That
    &gt; &gt;
    &gt; &gt; 50. Heart Attacks... God's Revenge For Eating His Animal Friends
    &gt; &gt;
    &gt; &gt; 51. Honk If You've Never Seen An Uzi Fired From A Car Window
    &gt; &gt;
    &gt; &gt; 52. How Many Roads Must A Man Travel Down Before He Admits He Is Los=
    t?
    &gt; &gt;
    &gt; &gt; 53. If You Can't Dazzle Them With Brilliance, Riddle Them With Bulle=
    ts
    &gt; &gt;
    &gt; &gt; 54. Money Isn't Everything, But It Sure Keeps The Kids In Touch
    &gt; &gt;
    &gt; &gt; 55. Saw It... Wanted It... Had A Fit... Got It!
    &gt; &gt;
    &gt; &gt; 56. Warning! Driver Only Carries $20.00 In Ammunition
    &gt; &gt;
    &gt; &gt; 57. What Has Four Legs And An Arm? A Happy Pit Bull

  15. #15
    Baluchitherium
    Join Date
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    12.31.69 @ 04:00 PM
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    Doesn't anyone else get any jokes sent to them?


    AN ALL TIME GREAT COMEBACK

    I was listening to the radio the other day, and I heard one of the
    all time
    best comeback lines in my life.

    Note: This is an exact replication of National Public Radio (NPR)
    interview between a female broadcaster, and US Army General Reinwald who

    was about to sponsor a Boy Scout Troop visiting his military
    installation.

    FEMALE INTERVIEWER: So, General Reinwald, what things are you going to
    teach these young boys when they visit your base?"

    GENERAL REINWALD: We're going to teach them climbing, canoeing,
    archery,
    and shooting."

    FEMALE INTERVIEWER: "Shooting! That's a bit irresponsible, isn't it?"

    GENERAL REINWALD: "I don't see why, they'll be properly supervised on
    the
    rifle range."

    FEMALE INTERVIEWER: "Don't you admit that this is a terribly dangerous
    activity to be teaching children?"

    GENERAL REINWALD: "I don't see how. We will be teaching them proper
    rifle
    discipline before they even touch a firearm."

    FEMALE INTERVIEWER: "But you're equipping them to become violent
    killers."

    GENERAL REINWALD: "Well, you're equipped to be a prostitute, but you're

    not one, are you?"

    The radio went silent and the interview ended.

    And all I could think was, "Go Army!"

 

 

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