Follow us on...
Follow us on Twitter Follow us on Facebook Watch us on YouTube
Register
Results 1 to 8 of 8
  1. #1
    Atomic Punk Rod Dangle's Avatar
    Join Date
    12.27.99
    Age
    46
    Location
    Detroit
    Posts
    7,871
    Favorite VH Album

    Fair Warning, ADKOT
    Last Online

    12.09.17 @ 10:25 PM
    Likes
    1,074
    Liked 444 Times in 246 Posts

    T’ was the night before Christmas - Old Santa was pissed

    He cussed out the elves and threw down his list

    Miserable little brats, ungrateful little jerks

    I have a good mind to scrap the whole works

    I’ve busted my ass for damn near a year,
    Instead of “Thanks Santa” - what do I hear?

    The old lady bitches cause I work late at night
    The elves want more money - The reindeer all fight

    Rudolph got drunk and goosed all the maids
    Donner is pregnant and Vixen has AIDS

    And just when I thought that things would get better, those assholes from IRS sent me a letter

    They say I owe taxes - if that ain’t damn funny

    Who the hell ever sent Santa Clause any money?

    And the kids these days - they all are the pits

    They want the impossible ...Those mean little shits

    I spent a whole year making wagons and sleds

    Assembling dolls...Their arms, legs and heads

    I made a ton of yo yo’s - No request for them

    They want computers and robots...they think I’m IBM!

    Flying through the air...dodging the trees

    Falling down chimneys and skinning my knees

    I’m quitting this job...there’s just no enjoyment

    I’ll sit on my fat ass and draw unemployment

    There’s no Christmas this year...now you know the reason

    I found me a blonde.. I’m going SOUTH for the season!!

    M*U*L*E

  2. #2
    Good Enough ScottRoberts's Avatar
    Join Date
    07.31.00
    Age
    45
    Location
    St. Louis, MO, U.S.A.
    Posts
    2,665
    Favorite VH Album

    Fair Warning
    Favorite VH Song

    "5150"
    Last Online

    04.05.12 @ 09:06 AM
    Likes
    0
    Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts


    Donor

    [img]graemlins/thumb.gif[/img]
    Scott Roberts
    The Official Scott Roberts Blog - http://www.scottrobertsweb.com
    FORMER owner of The VH Trade Site - http://www.vhtrading.com

  3. #3
    Atomic Punk Rod Dangle's Avatar
    Join Date
    12.27.99
    Age
    46
    Location
    Detroit
    Posts
    7,871
    Favorite VH Album

    Fair Warning, ADKOT
    Last Online

    12.09.17 @ 10:25 PM
    Likes
    1,074
    Liked 444 Times in 246 Posts

    <blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by ScottRoberts:
    [img]graemlins/thumb.gif[/img] <hr></blockquote>



    Here's another one.


    Twas the night before Christmas, and Geez it was neat

    The kids were both gone, and my wife was in heat

    The doors were all bolted, and the phone was off the hook

    It was time for some nooky, by hook or by crook.

    Momma in her teddy, and I am in the nude, We had just hit the bedroom and reached for the lube

    When out on the lawn there arose such a cry, That I lost my boner and poor momma went dry.

    Up to the window I sprang like an elf, Tore back the shade while she played with herself.

    The moon on the crest of the snowman we’d built, Showed a broom up his ass, clean up to the hilt

    When what to my wondering eyes should appear, But a rusty old sleigh and eight mangy reindeer.

    With a fat little driver, half out of his sled, A sock in his ear, and a bra on his head.

    Sure as I’m speaking, he was as high as a kite.

    And he yelled to his team, but it didn’t sound right.

    Whoa Shithead, whoa Asshole, whoa Stupid, whoa Putz, Either slow down this rig or I’ll cut off your nuts.

    Look out for the lamp post, and don’t hit the tree, Quit shaking the sleigh, ‘cause I gotta go pee.

    They cleared the old lamp post, the tree got a rub, Just as Santa leaned out and threw up on my shrub.

    And then from the roof we heard such a clatter, As each little reindeer now emptied his bladder.

    I was donning my jacket to cover my ass,
    When down the chimney, Santa came with a crash.

    His suit was all smelly with perfume galore, He looked like a bum and he smelled like a whore.

    “That was some brothel,” he said with a smile, “The reindeer are pooped, and I’ll just stay here awhile.

    He walked to the kitchen, poured himself a drink, Then whipped out his pecker and pissed in the sink.

    I started to laugh, my wife smiled with glee, The old boy was hung nearly down to his knee.

    Back in the den, Santa reached in his sack, But his toys were all gone, and some new things were packed.

    The first thing he found was a pair of false tits, The next was a handgun with a penis that spits.

    A box filled with condoms was Santa’s next find, And a six pair of panties, the edible kind.

    A cock ring, a G-string, and all types of oil, A dildo so long, it lay in a coil.

    “This stuff ain’t for kids, Mrs. Santa will shit, So I’ll leave ‘em here, and then I’ll just split.”

    He filled every stocking and then took his leave, With one tiny butt plug tucked under his sleeve.

    He sprang to his sleigh, but his feet were like lead, Thus he fell on his ass and broke wind instead.

    In time he was seated, took the reins of his hitch, Saying “Take me home Rudolph, this night’s been a bitch!”

    The sleigh was near gone when we heard Santa shout, “The best thing about sex is that it never wears out!”



    [ December 10, 2001 at 09:07 AM: Message edited by: Rod Dangle ]</p>
    M*U*L*E

  4. #4
    Sinner's Swing! AJW's Avatar
    Join Date
    01.23.00
    Age
    49
    Location
    Jersey
    Posts
    2,910
    Favorite VH Album

    All 7 with Dave
    Favorite VH Song

    Hear About It Later
    Last Online

    12.12.17 @ 03:30 AM
    Likes
    705
    Liked 147 Times in 87 Posts

    This needs to be bumped especially for today. Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays all fellow linkers.

  5. #5
    Baluchitherium sisca's Avatar
    Join Date
    03.26.04
    Age
    47
    Location
    Texas
    Posts
    5,186
    Favorite VH Album

    F.U.C.K.
    Favorite VH Song

    judgement day/ me wise magic
    Last Online

    06.12.16 @ 07:51 PM
    Likes
    1
    Liked 15 Times in 11 Posts


    Donor

    Default

    'Twas the night before christmas,and all thru the house,
    the whole damn family was drunk as a louse.
    with mom in a whorehouse, and dad home from jail,
    i'd just settled in for a nice piece of tail.

    when out on the lawn i heard such a clatter,
    i sprang off my girlfriend to see whats the matter.
    flew to the window, quick as a flash
    tripped on a broomstick, and busted my ass.

    upon my eyes, what should i see?
    a rusty old sleigh, and 8 mangy reindee'.
    i knew in a moment it must be st. nick,
    as the little ol man was flogging his dick.

    he went down the chimney like hell at a bash..
    i knew in a second the bastard would crash.

    he filled up the stockings with pretzels and beer,
    and a big rubber dick for my brother the queer.

    i heard what he said as he flew out of sight,
    "piss on you all , its been one hell of a night!"



    seriously though, MERRY CHRISTMAS, y'all!
    """"\//-/""""


    The Marines I have seen around the world have the cleanest bodies, the filthiest minds, the highest morale, and the lowest morals of any group of animals I have ever seen. Thank God for the United States Marine Corps!


    www.myspace.com/mikesisca

    "If ladies want Valentines Day so bad either make Superbowl Sunday an actual holiday or give guys Steak and Blowjob Day and we'll call it even." T.RYAN, sharing thoughts on valentine's day.

    " SHUT UP, FAGGOT." - Vinnie Velvet, showing off that sharp wit of his.

    DIRTY SANCHEZ- It's not just for breakfast anymore!



    Originally posted by FORD
    History tells us that oppressive nations build walls to keep people IN, not out.
    (See "Berlin Wall" and "Likud Israel" for examples) FORD- when i told him i'd build a wall between the US and Mexico.

    then ill build it from the mexican side. -my reply.

  6. #6
    Atomic Punk
    Join Date
    11.12.03
    Posts
    17,322
    Favorite VH Album

    1978-1996
    Favorite VH Song

    1978-1996
    Last Online

    12.23.16 @ 10:32 AM
    Likes
    4,364
    Liked 2,068 Times in 1,102 Posts


    Donor

    Default Get to bed kiddies..............


  7. #7
    Atomic Punk
    Join Date
    06.15.06
    Location
    Houston, TX
    Posts
    13,741
    Favorite VH Album

    VHIII/WACF/OU51BALUCK
    Last Online

    07.24.11 @ 04:36 PM
    Likes
    0
    Liked 1 Time in 1 Post

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Greenpaw View Post
    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!! Now THAT is fucking funny.

  8. #8
    Atomic Punk LLFHS's Avatar
    Join Date
    03.08.04
    Location
    Secret Witness Protection Location
    Posts
    31,731
    Favorite VH Album

    Anything Mike played on
    Favorite VH Song

    Anything Mike played on
    Last Online

    07.30.17 @ 08:59 PM
    Likes
    34
    Liked 60 Times in 35 Posts


    Donor

    Default

    SO many levels of wrong.



    LowLifeFlatHeadScum

    [sigpic][/sigpic]


    Your Hacked Nude Photo Here!

 

 

Similar Threads

  1. ‘Dancing In The Streets’ vs. ‘(Oh) Pretty Woman’
    By Rod Dangle in forum VH Songs/Albums/Videos
    Replies: 41
    Last Post: 03.30.10, 05:29 AM
  2. The Night Before Christmas..... VH style
    By redfire in forum Main VH Discussion
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 12.24.07, 12:51 PM
  3. "T'was the Night Before Christmas"....map57 style....
    By map57 in forum VH Fans Meeting Place (Non-Music)
    Replies: 5
    Last Post: 12.06.06, 06:42 AM
  4. T'was the night before Christmas - Old Santa was pissed
    By Gwen South in forum VH Fans Meeting Place (Non-Music)
    Replies: 5
    Last Post: 12.22.01, 11:25 AM
  5. Twas the Night before Christmas - Santa's Version
    By BigBadBrian in forum VH Fans Meeting Place (Non-Music)
    Replies: 3
    Last Post: 12.24.00, 07:31 PM

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •