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  1. #1
    Baluchitherium
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    12.31.69 @ 04:00 PM
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    >> Two sisters, one blonde and one brunette, inherit the family ranch.
    >> Unfortunately, after just a few years, they are in financial trouble. In
    >> order to keep the bank from repossessing the ranch, they need to purchase
    >a
    >> bull so that they can breed their own stock.
    >> The brunette balances their checkbook, then takes their last $600 dollars
    >> out west to another ranch where a man has a prize bull for sale.
    >> Upon leaving, she tells her sister, "When I get there, if I decide to buy
    >> the bull, I'll contact you to drive out after me and haul it home."
    >> The brunette arrives at the man's ranch, inspects the bull, and decides
    >she
    >> does want to buy it. The man tells her that he can sell it for $599, no
    >> less. After paying him, she drives to the nearest town to send her sister
    >a
    >> telegram to tell her the news.
    >> She walks into the telegraph office, and says, "I want to send a telegram
    >to
    >> my sister telling her that I've bought a bull for our ranch. I need her
    to
    >> hitch the trailer to our pickup truck and drive out here so we can haul
    it
    >> home." The telegraph operator explains that he'll be glad to help
    >> her, then adds, "It's just 99 cents a word."
    >> Well, after paying for the bull, the brunette only has $1 left. She
    >realizes
    >> that she'll only be able to send her sister one word.
    >> After thinking for a few minutes, she nods, and says, "I want you to send
    >> her the word, 'comfortable.'"
    >> The telegraph operator shakes his head. "How is she ever going to know
    >that
    >> you want her to hitch the trailer to your pickup truck and drive out here
    >to
    >> haul that bull back to your ranch if you send her the word,
    >'comfortable'?"
    >> The brunette explains, "My sister's blonde."
    >> "She'll read it very slow."
    >
    >

  2. #2
    Good Enough
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    Call me stupid, but I really didn't get it.

    ------------------
    Eat Us And Smile!!!

  3. #3
    Eruption
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    12.31.69 @ 04:00 PM
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    Come for the bull....

    Read it....Com-for-ta-ble

    ------------------
    L.S.D. Radio is addicting! You won't be able to quit! Listen today!

  4. #4
    5150 Alchemy's Avatar
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    06.29.12 @ 01:03 AM
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    That's an old Cajun joke.

    ------------------
    "Honey, arn't you gonna catch a cold dressed like that?" - Dave
    "We're not in the music business, we're in the business of making music." - Edward
    "Yeah, I saw a yard gnome once...it didn't scare me." - Space Ghost

  5. #5
    Good Enough
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    <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Jerel:
    Come for the bull....

    Read it....Com-for-ta-ble

    <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>


    My native tongue isn't english, and since confortable is also a french word but pronounced VERY differently, that explains why I didn't get the joke.

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    Eat Us And Smile!!!

  6. #6
    Baluchitherium
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    There was a man who really took care of his body. He lifted weights and=20
    jogged six miles every day. One morning he looked into the mirror, admiring=20
    his body, and noticed that he was suntanned all over with the exception of=20
    his penis. So he decided to do something about that.=20
    He went to the beach, undressed completely, and buried himself i=
    n=20
    the sand, except for his penis, which he left sticking out of the sand.=20

    A bit later, two little old ladies came strolling along the=20
    beach, one using a cane to help her get along. Upon seeing the thing stickin=
    g=20
    out of the sand, the lady with the cane began to move the penis around with=20
    her cane.=20

    Remarking to the other little old lady, she said, "There really=20
    is no justice in the world."=20

    The other little old lady asked, "What do you mean by that?"=20

    The first little old lady replied, "Look at that.
    When I was 20, I was curious about it.
    When I was 30, I enjoyed it.
    When I was 40, I asked for it.
    When I was 50, I paid for it.
    When I was 60, I prayed for it.
    When I was 70, I forgot about it.
    Now that I'm 80, the damned things are growing wild, and I'm too=
    =20
    old to squat!"

  7. #7
    Baluchitherium
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    Subject: Baby Quiz


    &gt; Q: Should I have a baby after 35?
    &gt; A: No, 35 children is enough.
    &gt;
    &gt; Q: I'm two months pregnant now. When will my baby move?
    &gt; A: With any luck, right after he finishes college.
    &gt;
    &gt; Q: How will I know if my vomiting is morning sickness or the flu?
    &gt; A: If it's the flu, you'll get better.
    &gt;
    &gt; Q: What is the most common pregnancy craving?
    &gt; A: For men to be the ones who get pregnant.
    &gt;
    &gt; Q: What is the most reliable method to determine a baby's sex?
    &gt; A: Childbirth.
    &gt;
    &gt; Q: The more pregnant I get, the more often strangers smile at me. Why?
    &gt; A: 'Cause you're fatter than they are.
    &gt;
    &gt; Q: My wife is five months pregnant and so moody that sometimes she's
    &gt; borderline irrational.
    &gt; A: So what's your question?
    &gt;
    &gt; Q: What's the difference between a nine-month pregnant woman and a
    &gt; model?
    &gt; A: Nothing (if the pregnant woman's husband knows what's good for him).
    &gt;
    &gt; Q: How long is the average woman in labor?
    &gt; A: Whatever she says divided by two.
    &gt;
    &gt; Q: My childbirth instructor says it's not pain I'll feel during labor, but
    &gt; pressure. Is she right?
    &gt; A: Yes, in the same way that a tornado might be called an air current.
    &gt;
    &gt; Q: When is the best time to get an epidural?
    &gt; A: Right after you find out you're pregnant.
    &gt;
    &gt; Q: Is there any reason I have to be in the delivery room while my wife
    &gt; is in labor?
    &gt; A: Not unless the word "alimony" means anything to you.
    &gt;
    &gt; Q: Is there anything I should avoid while recovering from childbirth?
    &gt; A: Yes, pregnancy.
    &gt;
    &gt; Q: Does pregnancy cause hemorrhoids?
    &gt; A: Pregnancy causes anything you want to blame it for.
    &gt;
    &gt; Q: What does it mean when a baby is born with teeth?
    &gt; A: It means that the baby's mother may want to rethink her plans to
    &gt; nurse.
    &gt;
    &gt; Q: What is the best time to wean the baby from nursing?
    &gt; A: When you see teeth marks.
    &gt;
    &gt; Q: Do I have to have a baby shower?
    &gt; A: Not if you change the baby's diaper very quickly.
    &gt;
    &gt; Q: Our baby was born last week. When will my wife begin to feel and act
    &gt; normal again?
    &gt; A: When the kids are in college.
    &gt;

  8. #8
    Sinner's Swing! Rick S's Avatar
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    06.23.17 @ 09:49 PM
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    the perfect woman: a midget with no teeth, and a flat head so you can rest your drink on it....

    ------------------
    eddie vanhalen , there is no substitute. member of the G4 and proud member of the moron thread!

  9. #9
    Baluchitherium
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    A man went into the proctologist's office for his first exam. The doctor
    &gt;told
    &gt; him to have a seat in the examination room and that he would be with him
    in
    &gt;
    &gt;just a few minutes. When the man sat down and began observing the tools, he
    &gt;noticed there were 3 items on a stand next to the doctor's desk.
    &gt;
    &gt; 1. A tube of K-Y jelly
    &gt; 2. A rubber glove
    &gt; 3. A beer
    &gt;
    &gt;When the doctor finally came in, the man said "Look Doc, I'm a little
    &gt;confused. This is my first exam. I know what the K-Y is for, and I know
    what
    &gt;
    &gt;the glove is for, but can you tell me what the BEER is for?"
    &gt;
    &gt;At that the doctor became noticeably outraged and stormed over to the door.
    &gt;The doc flung the door open and yelled to his nurse........
    &gt;
    &gt;Dammit, nurse! I said A BUTT LIGHT

 

 

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