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  1. #1
    Master Bluesman Elwood P.'s Avatar
    Join Date
    01.11.02
    Location
    1060 W. Addison, Chicago
    Posts
    6,042
    Favorite VH Album

    ADKOT
    Favorite VH Song

    Soul Kitchen
    Last Online

    12.14.17 @ 09:58 AM
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    1,759
    Liked 1,083 Times in 725 Posts


    Premium Member
    More collected sayings from Al Bundy, the founder of NO MA' AM (National Organization of Men Against Amazonian Masterhood)

    "Once my kids are gone, I can finally do everything a man is supposed to do. I can watch TV, I can . . . well I dunno, but it doesn't matter. It's still better than having a screaming, crapping, money-sucking little vampire, bobsledding me to the cemetery.

    On Pregnancies,
    "There are no tri-mesters. There's actually just one long 40-year-mester. It just seems less painful if you break it into stages. There's the fat stage, the "I'll only eat ribs from a place 100 miles away" stage. And, Lord help us, the horny stage"

    "Dad had a dream, a dream that had been handed down from generation to generation of Bundy males. To build their own room and live separately from their wives. Sadly, they all failed."

    Jefferson to Al
    "I don't want to live with Marcy anymore. She wants sex all the time. And having sex with your pregnant wife is like putting gas into the tank of a car you already wrecked".
    AL: "Thank God my wife pulls into self-serve."

    Watching TV with neighbors
    Marcy: "Here's something we can all enjoy. A fine foreign film about a young Peruvian girl who lives in the rain forest and dreams of having a bicycle.
    Al: "Any Hooters"?
    Marcy: "It's a Francois Lu Mak film. He explores the mind".
    Al: "Well I prefer the Joe Zipper production of "They Exploded Out of their Bras" He explores the breast".

    Al on Evolution
    "Millions of years ago, man first emerged from the oceans and took his first steps on dry land. This was of course to escape from women and other bloodsucking creatures".

    "Fat women comes into the shoe store today and asks for something she'd be comfortable in. I suggest Wyoming".

    Women want us men to look at them like they were slabs of beef. Do you think they dress the way they do so another women can say, "Gee your thighs look succulent". Well some women do but they become gym teachers.

    When I was a kid I had two dreams. One was having a bathroom of my own. The other was to become an astronaut and land on the planet Jayne Mansfield. Unfortunately, Daddy got blown way off course and crashed on a much darker planet.
    "I'm the opposite of Bill Cosby. Diamond Dave always gets your approval." (DLR)

    "Kids, just say NO to marriage". (Al Bundy)

    Rawhide in "A"

    OAA

  2. #2
    Atomic Punk Raldo's Avatar
    Join Date
    01.11.00
    Location
    Cromwell, CT USA
    Posts
    17,191
    Favorite VH Song

    Ain't Talkin' 'Bout Love
    Last Online

    12.14.17 @ 10:24 AM
    Likes
    1,829
    Liked 1,481 Times in 903 Posts

    "Hooters. Hooters. Hooters. Yum, Yum Yum.
    Hooters. Hooters. Hooters, on a girls that's dumb"

    "Where the beers give you gas and the Bundy's kick ass, only at the nudie bar".

    Gotta love Al.
    Remember the Heroes - 9/11/01

    In 2012, the phoenix has risen!!

    "High speed, low drag."

    "Look at all the people here tonight!!!" - 10/5/07, 5/20/08 Mohegan Sun

    Congratulations to Van Halen as part of the Class of 2007 Rock and Roll Hall of Fame!

    Cinco de Cabo @ Foxwoods: "A giant party with live music" - S. Hagar

    got tequila?

    http://keepitaliveforever.com

  3. #3
    Top Of The World
    Join Date
    02.01.02
    Age
    41
    Location
    Saskatoon
    Posts
    152
    Favorite VH Album

    all of them
    Favorite VH Song

    Top Jimmy
    Last Online

    12.31.69 @ 04:00 PM
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    There is nothing like waking up on Christmas morning and opening up a 2-pack of hooters!

    words to live by...

  4. #4
    Good Enough Vince G.'s Avatar
    Join Date
    03.22.02
    Age
    51
    Location
    Nebraska
    Posts
    1,804
    Favorite VH Album

    "Fair Warning" & "OU812"
    Favorite VH Song

    "Romeo Delight" & "Cabo Wabo"
    Last Online

    09.21.15 @ 04:44 PM
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    "OH, LORD!!! Somebody shoot me!!"

  5. #5
    Good Enough T.RYAN's Avatar
    Join Date
    03.10.02
    Age
    41
    Location
    Boise,Idaho
    Posts
    2,063
    Favorite VH Album

    II
    Favorite VH Song

    Me Wise Magic
    Last Online

    11.23.15 @ 05:52 PM
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    0
    Liked 1 Time in 1 Post

    I got a tip for ya.........

    WHAM!!!!!!!!!

    Doors are hard.

    Long live Al.
    No president puts joy in my life, but Van Halen puts joy in my ears.

    Never pet a burning dog.

 

 

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