Follow us on...
Follow us on Twitter Follow us on Facebook Watch us on YouTube
Register
Page 1 of 4 1234 LastLast
Results 1 to 15 of 58
  1. #1
    carpe damn diem billy007's Avatar
    Join Date
    04.19.00
    Age
    54
    Location
    On the wild card line...
    Posts
    28,684
    Favorite VH Song

    "Dance The Night Away"
    Last Online

    12.17.17 @ 01:39 PM
    Likes
    1,046
    Liked 1,350 Times in 926 Posts

    This is what we really need to be worried about:

    http://www.weeklyworldnews.com/news/index.cfm

    BONN, Germany -- If we ever get rid of Satan, we may be jumping from the frying pan into the fire. That's because an up and coming young demon is waiting in the wings to take over -- and experts say he's even more evil than Lucifer!

    An eyes-only report prepared for the Pope by a panel of 12 top Vatican demonologists warns that the demon Asmodeus will be a far more vicious adversary than Hell's current ruler, and if he takes command, "Mankind's very survival may be imperiled. Asmodeus is Hell's 'mad dog' -- he makes Satan look like a pussycat," says German theologian and exorcist Father Johan Lutke, who has seen a leaked copy of the report.

    "Unlike Satan, he doesn't play by any rules and he doesn't take any prisoners. If Satan steps down or is ejected from power, Asmodeus is likely to unleash untold suffering on humanity. Legions of demonic entities will go on the rampage worldwide -- and literally billions of souls will be forcibly dragged down into Hell."

    Asmodeus, whose name comes from a Hebrew word meaning "Destroyer," is the demon of lust and also runs Hell's gambling operations. Referred to in the Talmud as the "King of the Demons," he is known for his ruthlessness and unbridled ambition.

    "Asmodeus first appears in the Book of Tobit, which describes how in a fit of jealousy he slew one husband after another of a young woman he fancied," says Fr. Lutke.

    "The Talmud also describes how he boldly usurped the throne of King Solomon. He's a power-crazed monster -- and he absolutely loathes humans."

    Asmodeus belongs to Hell's younger set, not the old guard who rebelled against God.

    "He is said to be the child of a fallen angel and a mortal woman," reveals Fr. Lutke. "Asmodeus has little patience for the 'old-fashioned' ap-proach, this idea of trying to win over humans one by one over the centuries. He considers Satan 'an old fogey.'

    "As the demon in charge of lust, Asmodeus has been us-ing modern-day technology like Internet porn to corrupt millions of humans every hour -- with frightening success."

    According to several turncoat devil-worshipers debriefed by the Vatican panel last August, Asmodeus makes no secret of his ambitions to rule Hell one day soon.

    Says Fr. Lutke, "He's told them, 'When I'm in charge, I will crush mankind like a bug.'"


    Discuss!

  2. #2
    Hang 'Em High Stuff No More's Avatar
    Join Date
    04.04.00
    Location
    Tropic of Capricorn
    Posts
    6,082
    Favorite VH Album

    5150
    Favorite VH Song

    Dreams
    Last Online

    01.08.05 @ 11:08 AM
    Likes
    0
    Liked 1 Time in 1 Post

    Bah! Everyone knows that as soon as Mephistopheles manages to wrestle power over the 7th level of hell from Baalzebub he will use his combined might to smash Asmodeus.

    Pshaw!
    "Just once I'd like to do the right thing and not get punished for it."

  3. #3
    Banned!
    Join Date
    03.21.00
    Location
    Albany, NY
    Posts
    1,884
    Favorite VH Album

    BALANCE
    Favorite VH Song

    AFTERSHOCK
    Last Online

    03.20.07 @ 12:01 PM
    Likes
    0
    Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    What the.... [img]graemlins/scared.gif[/img] [img]graemlins/wtf.gif[/img]

  4. #4
    5150
    Join Date
    12.11.01
    Location
    Southern Cali
    Posts
    561
    Favorite VH Album

    Dave stuff
    Favorite VH Song

    Can\'t just have one...
    Last Online

    12.31.69 @ 04:00 PM
    Likes
    0
    Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Please tell me this is a joke. I think the Catholic Church has more pressing matters to worry about at the moment...
    "I read somewhere that 77 per cent of all the mentally ill live in poverty. Actually, I'm more intrigued by the 23 per cent who are apparently doing<br />quite well for themselves." - Jerry Garcia (Grateful Dead)

  5. #5
    Atomic Punk jrk5150's Avatar
    Join Date
    12.12.01
    Age
    48
    Location
    Massachusetts by way of the Great State of New Jersey
    Posts
    7,748
    Favorite VH Album

    5150
    Favorite VH Song

    Changes with the day
    Last Online

    12.17.17 @ 02:19 PM
    Likes
    30
    Liked 548 Times in 329 Posts


    Premium Member

    Donor

    No, this is what they'll invent as an excuse not to do anything about their more "pressing" matters.

    I feel like I just stumbled into a fucking D&D game.

    Not that there's anything wrong with that.

  6. #6
    PM Goo with your concerns OLO's Avatar
    Join Date
    12.13.99
    Age
    49
    Location
    Enumclaw, WA
    Posts
    18,055
    Favorite VH Album

    Fair Warning
    Favorite VH Song

    Unchained
    Last Online

    12.17.17 @ 10:54 AM
    Likes
    91
    Liked 84 Times in 35 Posts

    Were does the Vatican get there WEED!! [img]graemlins/drunk.gif[/img] [img]graemlins/thumb.gif[/img]
    ((Just My Two Cents))
    And thats about what its worth.

  7. #7
    Eruption
    Join Date
    12.27.01
    Location
    NEW YAWK CITAY
    Posts
    763
    Favorite VH Album

    fair warning
    Favorite VH Song

    Bottoms Up
    Last Online

    01.23.09 @ 11:26 AM
    Likes
    0
    Liked 1 Time in 1 Post

    HELLO!!?
    IT'S THE WEEKLY WORLD NEWS!
    If you believe the shit you read in that rag, then I have a bridge I'd like to sell you.. been in the family for generations... convienently located in Brooklyn, USA. Hate to part with it.. It would just KILL my great- great Grand-Pappy - Jebidiah Plstrcast.. But I need a new Les Paul.....
    [img]tongue.gif[/img]
    Plstrcast everywhere else, Smudge NYC here.. so kiss my arse!<br /><br /><a href="http://www.cdbaby.com/cd/smudgenyc" target="_blank">http://www.cdbaby.com/cd/smudgenyc</a>

  8. #8
    carpe damn diem billy007's Avatar
    Join Date
    04.19.00
    Age
    54
    Location
    On the wild card line...
    Posts
    28,684
    Favorite VH Song

    "Dance The Night Away"
    Last Online

    12.17.17 @ 01:39 PM
    Likes
    1,046
    Liked 1,350 Times in 926 Posts

    But no, wait, I posted weblinks and quotes from official sounding people and everything!!!

  9. #9
    Imperial Fascist Overlord Down In Flames's Avatar
    Join Date
    05.28.00
    Location
    Your Mother's Bedroom
    Posts
    14,285
    Favorite VH Album

    VH II
    Favorite VH Song

    D.O.A.
    Last Online

    @
    Likes
    0
    Liked 3 Times in 3 Posts

    Sometimes, parody can be high art.

    Rock on, billy!

    This cracked me up...

    Originally posted by Incredible Edible Dude:
    I feel like I just stumbled into a fucking D&D game.

    Not that there's anything wrong with that.
    http://www.vhlinks.com/vbforums/images/avatars/michael3.jpg

    "You are the McCarthy of this board. The witch burner." - strungout, on yours truly

    "Only Eddymon would claim victory during a FOUR game losing streak." - OLO

    "Did I not say, 'I think we should shoot him!' I did. Double rainbow on this end. I require a high five. Out."- track 5, on the delicate art of banning

    "If you have a problem, if no one else can help, and if you can find them, maybe you can hire..."

  10. #10
    Atomic Punk MikeL's Avatar
    Join Date
    02.17.00
    Posts
    11,536
    Last Online

    03.03.15 @ 08:31 PM
    Likes
    0
    Liked 2 Times in 1 Post


    Donor

    Maybe it's true? Who knows for sure? I've got an open mind to all possibilities. I think our government needs to launch a public investigation into this. If they don't, who knows what could happen... right?

  11. #11
    Good Enough
    Join Date
    05.25.00
    Location
    IL
    Posts
    2,044
    Last Online

    08.17.07 @ 05:09 PM
    Likes
    0
    Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Guys! Have you ever seen the Weekly World News???? Nothing credible about THAT publication!

    For example, one of their infamous headlines declared, "Hillary Clinton: Caught in the Arms of her Lover" and showed her in an embrace with an alien... [img]graemlins/thumb.gif[/img] Okay... well... but STILL!

    Not to worry... that's not from the Vatican. They may say it is... but... it's really not.
    "May you die at age 128, in bed, shot to death by a jealous lover" DLR 2002

  12. #12
    5150
    Join Date
    12.11.01
    Location
    Southern Cali
    Posts
    561
    Favorite VH Album

    Dave stuff
    Favorite VH Song

    Can\'t just have one...
    Last Online

    12.31.69 @ 04:00 PM
    Likes
    0
    Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Damn, just when I thought we had figured out who really blew up the Twin Towers...
    "I read somewhere that 77 per cent of all the mentally ill live in poverty. Actually, I'm more intrigued by the 23 per cent who are apparently doing<br />quite well for themselves." - Jerry Garcia (Grateful Dead)

  13. #13
    Sinner's Swing!
    Join Date
    06.04.01
    Location
    NJ
    Posts
    3,193
    Favorite VH Album

    Fair Warning, and the rest of the first 6 albums!
    Favorite VH Song

    Everthing off of the first 6 albums!
    Last Online

    01.10.09 @ 01:07 PM
    Likes
    0
    Liked 1 Time in 1 Post

    Weekly World News is a tabloid.

  14. #14
    Good Enough
    Join Date
    05.25.00
    Location
    IL
    Posts
    2,044
    Last Online

    08.17.07 @ 05:09 PM
    Likes
    0
    Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Here's a link to the Vatican for inquiring minds!

    This will take you directly to their news page, date April 10, 2002. Anyway... no mention of this new demon [img]graemlins/devil.gif[/img]

    Vatican

    and here's one to their daily bulletin... I hope it's in English!

    Vatican Daily Bulletin

    [ April 12, 2002 at 02:21 PM: Message edited by: LA ]</p>
    "May you die at age 128, in bed, shot to death by a jealous lover" DLR 2002

  15. #15
    Atomic Punk MikeL's Avatar
    Join Date
    02.17.00
    Posts
    11,536
    Last Online

    03.03.15 @ 08:31 PM
    Likes
    0
    Liked 2 Times in 1 Post


    Donor

    Yeah, but what if the Vatican is keeping it a secret? They've been known to do that now and then. This is too critical to the people of Earth (and hell, too!) for it to just be dismissed.

 

 

Similar Threads

  1. Screamin Demon Pickups???
    By RockGod5150 in forum Guitar Room
    Replies: 15
    Last Post: 05.02.05, 04:09 PM
  2. White smoke from the vatican!
    By Bigdaddy_14 in forum VH Fans Meeting Place (Non-Music)
    Replies: 33
    Last Post: 04.20.05, 12:01 PM
  3. Let Us Worship, Fellow Children Of King David's Unholy Demon Seed...
    By theodore templeman in forum Main VH Discussion
    Replies: 5
    Last Post: 09.11.02, 10:01 AM
  4. The ACLU supports Satan
    By Van Gully in forum VH Fans Meeting Place (Non-Music)
    Replies: 64
    Last Post: 02.04.02, 03:13 AM

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •