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  1. #1
    Atomic Punk
    Join Date
    dirtland, usa
    Favorite VH Album

    the classic 6 pack
    Favorite VH Song

    hmmm...everybody wants some
    Last Online

    05.21.18 @ 09:10 PM
    Liked 1,098 Times in 457 Posts

    haha! check these out!

    Rodney Dangerfield's 20 Best One-Liners
    > 1. I was so poor growing up ... if I wasn't a boy
    > ... I'd have had nothing to play with.
    > 2. A girl phoned me the other day and said, "Come on
    > over; nobody's home. "I went over. Nobody was
    > home".
    > 3. During sex, my girlfriend always wants to talk to
    > me. Just the
    > other night she called me from a hotel
    > 4. One day I came home early from work ... I saw a
    > guy jogging naked.
    > I said to the guy, "Hey buddy, why are you doing
    > that?" He said
    > "Because you came home early."
    > 5. It's been a rough day. I got up this morning ...
    > put a shirt on and
    > button fell off. I picked up my briefcase, and the
    > handle came off.
    > I'm afraid to go to the bathroom.
    > 6. I was such an ugly kid...When I played in the
    > sandbox, the cat kept
    > covering me up.
    > 7. I could tell my parents hated me. My bath toys
    > were a toaster and radio.
    > 8. I was such an ugly baby... My mother never
    > breastfed me. She
    > told me that she only liked me as a friend.
    > 9. I'm so ugly...My father carries around a picture
    > of the kid who
    > came with his wallet.
    > 10. When I was born, the doctor came into the
    > waiting room and said to
    > my father, "I'm sorry. We did everything we could,
    > but he pulled through."
    > 11. I'm so ugly...My mother had morning sickness...
    > AFTER I was born.
    > 12. I remember the time that I was kidnapped and
    > they sent a piece of
    > my finger to my father. He said he wanted more
    > proof.
    > 13. Once when I was lost, I saw a policeman, and
    > asked him to help me
    > find my parents. I said to him, "Do you think we'll
    > ever find them?"
    > He said,"I don't know kid. There's so many places
    > they can hide."
    > 14. My wife made me join a bridge club. I jump off
    > next Tuesday.
    > 15. I'm so ugly... I worked in a pet shop, and
    > people kept asking how
    > big I'd get.
    > 16. I went to see my doctor. "Doctor, every morning
    > when I get up and
    > I look in the mirror...I feel like throwing up;
    > what's wrong with me?" He said..."I don't know but
    > your eyesight is perfect."
    > 17. I went to the doctor because I'd swallowed a
    > bottle of sleeping
    > pills. My doctor told me to have a few drinks and
    > get some rest.
    > 18. With my old man I got no respect. I asked him,
    > "How can I get my
    > kite in the air?" He told me to run off a cliff.
    > 19.Some dog I got. We call him Egypt because in
    > every room he leaves a pyramid. His favorite bone is
    > in my arm. Last night he went on the paper four
    > times - three of those times I was reading it.
    > 20. One year they wanted to make me poster boy - for
    > birth control.

    "you can't change JMJ, it's legendary"- Brett Norton 9/24/07

    "It's the "JMJ" everyone had grown to love, man! Time to blow the roof off this place!"
    -Zachenfoot 2/23/10

    "The links just look a little better with JMJ. Always has, always will." -Hurricane Halen 2/24/10

    "I'm doin' the victory dance. Told ya I'd be back. Tell me ya missed me. Say it like ya mean it" - Blood and Fire. =VH= 2012. Welcome back boys :headband:

    "I don't give a flying fuck about Motley Crue. I give about a half a fuck about Rush. I like Van Halen and don't give a flying fuck how many tickets they all sell. Any questions?"- jimmyw

  2. #2
    Super Duper Frontman track 5's Avatar
    Join Date
    Last Online

    05.15.18 @ 06:08 PM
    Liked 669 Times in 353 Posts

    Premium Member
    "My wife's cooking is so bad, we pray after we eat!"


    You're a dick for putting ian on "ignore" DIF

    "You stupid fuck!" Seen

    "Well if you saw it, stats and scientific studies be damned!" Lovemachine 97 v. 2.

  3. #3
    Johnson Rod Pabs's Avatar
    Join Date
    Chicago, IL, USA
    Last Online

    10.29.09 @ 11:50 AM
    Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts


    "Boy, am I ugly? One time, my Dad took me to the zoo, and they thanked him for returning me."

    The Chicago White Sox (1901-present) - The Original SOX - Proof

    The Boston Americans (1901)
    The Boston Somersets (1902)
    The Boston Pilgrims (1903-1906)
    The Boston Red Sox (1907-present) - Proof

    The Pilgrims/Americans/Somersets whatever you want to call them, have NEVER displayed "SOX" anywhere on their caps, jerseys, or merchandise, therefore they shouldn't be referred to as such. However, the White Sox have used "SOX" since 1912.

    The SOX are in Chicago...we just allow the Pilgrims/Americans/Somersets to use the name.

    2007 Fantasy Football Champion

  4. #4
    Little Dreamer
    Join Date
    Favorite VH Album

    Van Halen 1
    Favorite VH Song

    All DAVE\'s
    Last Online

    12.31.69 @ 04:00 PM
    Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    My son is so stupid, I teach him to hitch hike and he comes home the first day, all beaten up, seems he used the wrong finger!
    Knowledge speaks, but wisdom listens." <br />- Jimi Hendrix



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