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  1. #1
    Romeo Delight
    Join Date
    04.05.02
    Age
    40
    Location
    Washington, D.C.
    Posts
    90
    Favorite VH Album

    Eat Em and Smile
    Favorite VH Song

    Yankee Rose
    Last Online

    12.31.69 @ 04:00 PM
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    from my buddy Jay. Enjoy!

    steve,
    it's not often that an artist feels he has reached his full potential.
    however, today sees a realization of all my talent as a
    satirist....enjoy:

    My hip's gonna break, and I'm getting gas
    I got a gallstone that I can't seem to pass
    My left arm's numb and it won't move
    Well, baby, father time come and touched my groove again!
    Gonna tell people that I'm 25
    Though no one thinks that I'm still alive
    Liver spots, and all that jive
    I can turn 55!

    My cholesterol: five hundred twenty-four
    Yeah, the doctor said, Fatboy, just one more
    We're gonna throw your ass in the county morgue...
    Looked me in the eye said, "You're fifty-four!"
    I said Yea! Oh Yea!
    Gonna tell people that I'm 25
    Though no one thinks that I'm still alive
    grown-up diapers, and all that jive
    I can turn 55!

    When I walk so slow, you know it's speed I fear
    And I can't get this Beltone into my ear.
    What used to take two hours now takes all day!
    It took me sixteen hours to poop yesterday!
    Gonna tell people that I'm 25
    Though no one thinks that I'm still alive
    getting alzheimer's, and all that jive
    I can turn 55!

    jay

    [ June 04, 2002, 12:44 PM: Message edited by: Marion Barry ]
    ******************************<br />LIVE in front of your naked, steaming typefont - it's "STEVE" from the DLRARMY!

  2. #2
    Imperial Fascist Overlord Down In Flames's Avatar
    Join Date
    05.28.00
    Location
    Your Mother's Bedroom
    Posts
    14,285
    Favorite VH Album

    VH II
    Favorite VH Song

    D.O.A.
    Last Online

    @
    Likes
    0
    Liked 3 Times in 3 Posts

    It's as if HBO did a documentary of Sam's life...

    Funny as it is, I'm gonna move this to the Opinions/Speculations forum since this doesn't exactly pertain to the tour, itself.
    http://www.vhlinks.com/vbforums/images/avatars/michael3.jpg

    "You are the McCarthy of this board. The witch burner." - strungout, on yours truly

    "Only Eddymon would claim victory during a FOUR game losing streak." - OLO

    "Did I not say, 'I think we should shoot him!' I did. Double rainbow on this end. I require a high five. Out."- track 5, on the delicate art of banning

    "If you have a problem, if no one else can help, and if you can find them, maybe you can hire..."

  3. #3
    carpe damn diem billy007's Avatar
    Join Date
    04.19.00
    Age
    54
    Location
    On the wild card line...
    Posts
    28,679
    Favorite VH Song

    "Dance The Night Away"
    Last Online

    12.14.17 @ 06:29 PM
    Likes
    1,046
    Liked 1,348 Times in 925 Posts

    Can't forget this one, either:

    "One foot in the grave, and one on the gas - hey!
    Well I'm blockin' traffic, they can't pass - no!
    So I made a quick illegal turn
    And I left that doggone blinker on again

    You know I got my license back in '45
    Most my friends are barely alive
    I take these pills just to survive
    I can't drive, I'm 65!

    (Magoo: "Road hog!")

    So I'm tooling right along in my Oldsmobile - yeah!
    And I can't see over the steering wheel - no!
    I take a "Stop" sign out and a mailbox too
    At the railroad crossing I drive right through
    They say "wait"

    I don't go faster than 25
    Card in my wallet says "you shouldn't revive"
    Flunked my eyetest, gave them a bribe
    I can't drive, I'm 65!

    Oh yeah!
    I can't drive, I'm 65
    I can't drive, I'm 65
    I can't drive, I'm 65
    I can't drive...

    (Magoo: "Oh Magoo, you've done it again!")"

    - Bob Rivers

  4. #4
    On Fire
    Join Date
    09.04.00
    Location
    Omaha, NE, USA
    Posts
    341
    Favorite VH Album

    5150
    Favorite VH Song

    Hot for Teacher
    Last Online

    10.04.17 @ 08:41 PM
    Likes
    3
    Liked 13 Times in 8 Posts

    Originally posted by Marion Barry:
    from my buddy Jay. Enjoy!

    steve,
    it's not often that an artist feels he has reached his full potential.
    however, today sees a realization of all my talent as a
    satirist....enjoy:

    My hip's gonna break, and I'm getting gas
    I got a gallstone that I can't seem to pass
    My left arm's numb and it won't move
    Well, baby, father time come and touched my groove again!
    Gonna tell people that I'm 25
    Though no one thinks that I'm still alive
    Liver spots, and all that jive
    I can turn 55!

    My cholesterol: five hundred twenty-four
    Yeah, the doctor said, Fatboy, just one more
    We're gonna throw your ass in the county morgue...
    Looked me in the eye said, "You're fifty-four!"
    I said Yea! Oh Yea!
    Gonna tell people that I'm 25
    Though no one thinks that I'm still alive
    grown-up diapers, and all that jive
    I can turn 55!

    When I walk so slow, you know it's speed I fear
    And I can't get this Beltone into my ear.
    What used to take two hours now takes all day!
    It took me sixteen hours to poop yesterday!
    Gonna tell people that I'm 25
    Though no one thinks that I'm still alive
    getting alzheimer's, and all that jive
    I can turn 55!

    jay
    LMFAO
    Better use it up before it gets old!

  5. #5
    Atomic Punk Raldo's Avatar
    Join Date
    01.11.00
    Location
    Cromwell, CT USA
    Posts
    17,195
    Favorite VH Song

    Ain't Talkin' 'Bout Love
    Last Online

    12.15.17 @ 03:59 AM
    Likes
    1,833
    Liked 1,482 Times in 904 Posts

    [img]graemlins/thumb.gif[/img]
    Remember the Heroes - 9/11/01

    In 2012, the phoenix has risen!!

    "High speed, low drag."

    "Look at all the people here tonight!!!" - 10/5/07, 5/20/08 Mohegan Sun

    Congratulations to Van Halen as part of the Class of 2007 Rock and Roll Hall of Fame!

    Cinco de Cabo @ Foxwoods: "A giant party with live music" - S. Hagar

    got tequila?

    http://keepitaliveforever.com

 

 

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