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  1. #1
    Hot For Teacher
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    12.31.69 @ 04:00 PM
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    alright- lets place some bets... what is the next real van halen news going to be, and when are we going to hear it? where is nostradamus when we need him?

    lets have the predictions for the next 365 days in the world of van halen (this can include former VH vocalists too...- and play nice!!!!)

    lets get a pool going for who's is the closest prediction?

    keep it civilized kids, or you'll have to sit in time-out!

    the VHND's prediction back in january was almost exactly right!
    zach sanders<br /><br />"My boy, we are pilgrims in an unholy land"

  2. #2
    Little Dreamer
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    1984
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    04.24.06 @ 02:43 PM
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    I think the pool of remaining VH fans will be so diluted by next year that if something were to happen hardly anyone would care. They really should have rolled down the path that the Roth/Hagar tour blazed for them. I realize that they could not put out a new recording that quickly. But if they had a Hagar or Roth reunion in the works it would have made sense to atleast announce it to keep the level of interest in the group at a stir.

    I don't think they could sell out arenas. The VH 3 tour blanked and I don't see much of a change unless they can turn out a 'hit' loaded recording. My best guess is that they could sell out the arenas that Roth and Hagar played.

    Hagar 2003: Planet Us never materializes. Trip to 5150 turns out to be a bust as the former musical genius has nothing left in the tank that is good enough for Hagar to bother singing along to.

    Roth 2003:Returns to Vegas. Opens karate dojo. Quits smoking. Fires off a few mean spirited emails to Eddie Van Hasbeen. Marries Ms. Indiana 1981.

    Ed/Al 2003: Announce to press that Hagar is fired yet again. The reason being that he refuses to sing VH3 songs and he didn't send a case of Cabo Wabo tequila to Al for his birthday. Put a call in to Gene Simmons to reform Kiss with Ed and Al replacing Ace and Peter. Ed's only condition to wearing the makeup is that he gets to be the starchild character.

    Mike 2003:Joins the Who for one 'final' farewell tour. Then he creates a hot pepper sauce that outsells tabasco called 'rumblepunch' which he names after his bass sounds and the cover of his favorite VH record "Fair Warning".

    Valerie 2003: Joins the cast of Scrubs as the new hospital administrator. Back in a comedy and on a show that people not bound to nursing homes actually watch; her career gets a lift.
    "We don't act this way because we're in a rock band; we're in a rock band because we ARE this way." David Lee Roth - 1983

  3. #3
    Good Enough
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    12.31.69 @ 04:00 PM
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    Only news I expect is that Val and Ed do file for divorce. Val remarries. Ed's Cancer comes back and 5150 becomes the Graceland of LA.
    I hope I'm wrong!
    <a href="http://www.vhwalkathon.org" target="_blank">VHWalkathon - Project 316</a><br /><br />EVH: The music is first and foremost. That's the way it's always been and that's the way it will always be. Because without the music, what is there? Nothing. There's nothing without the music. You can't even cop an attitude without the music (laughs).

  4. #4
    no stinkin click! muffdiver's Avatar
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    all
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    strung out....
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    02.28.14 @ 07:54 PM
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    Premium Member

    Donor

    Originally posted by Fabulous Shadow aka VHL:
    Only news I expect is that Val and Ed do file for divorce. Val remarries. Ed's Cancer comes back and 5150 becomes the Graceland of LA.
    I hope I'm wrong!
    geez i hope yer wrong too.... [img]graemlins/wtf.gif[/img]

  5. #5
    Beloved Glenn's Avatar
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    02.13.15 @ 08:56 AM
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    Donor

    DATELINE September 2003

    VAN HALEN FANS FILE DOUBLE LAWSUIT

    In a bizarre twist on the standard fan/artist relationship, Van Halen fans have filed a global class action lawsuit against the airline industry and a similar case against Van Halen the band. Frustrated at the long wait for the band to announce something, fans of the band decided to get together in Los Angeles (home base of the group) for a solidarity rally. Here's where the trouble started.

    Seems that when the fans showed up at their respective airports, the airline companies, seeing how enormous the fans' asses had become from such an excessive wait, attempted to charge each individual for two seats. Clearly sensing discrimination (not to mention the scent of cash which sticks to such frivolous lawsuits), the fans of Van Halen have put aside their petty differences to rally under a common umbrella; namely, the right to be abused into fat ass-manship (legality still pending on the use of that hyphenated word) by a rock and roll band and STILL only have to pay for a single seat on an airliner.

    The legal suit got off to a rocky start when Van Halen Links honcho Brett Norton enraged the faithful by stating, "fuck, I'm barely cracking a hundred pounds and I started this whole thing, what's the matter with you people!" Harsh words indeed, but tempers were calmed when it was revealed that Brett Norton is not, in fact, though some in his administration deny this, Gary Cherone, so the fans lost their will to despise him just for breathing.

    But where this story really reaches the point of the unusual is that the fans of Van Halen have filed suit against the band. Negligence appears to be the key complaint, and while no money is being sought, it appears that the plaintiffs are demanding an immediate announcement from the famed rock and roll group.

    We reached out to get some key players in the dispute to get their reaction;

    Edward Van Halen-"I better not see any striped designs on any of these legal briefs or there'll be hell to pay!!"

    Alex Van Halen-"Shut that fuckin' door, can't you see I'm in hiding!! Stupid jackasses!!"

    Michael Anthony-"Eddie, can you spot me a fiver, I need some new strings for my bass?"

    David Lee Roth-"Cocaine keeps me thin, one airline ticket please, whatever is cheapest!"

    Sammy Hagar-"Norton weighs how much??? Damnit, I got that much in my neck alone!!"

    Gary Cherone-"Spitfire Records??? I'm fucked!!"

    [ September 18, 2002, 03:43 PM: Message edited by: Glenn ]

  6. #6
    Hang 'Em High Stuff No More's Avatar
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    01.08.05 @ 11:08 AM
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    Damn, I hate having to follow the yuk-fest above with a serious post

    Over the next year I expect the following:

    Sammy will release Not 4 Sale and tour on it over the winter and early spring months. Then will come a Planet Us album and they'll tour on that in the summer and fall.

    Dave will do... whatever the hell Dave does normally. The DVD will remain out of mass circulation, we'll occasionally get a cryptic remark in a radio interview about him possibly working on some new material. He'll play a few more all VH concerts.

    Ed and Val will file for divorce.

    There will be no announcement on the status of Van Halen, the search (or lack thereof) for a lead singer, or anything even remotely related to what a thriving, healthy band does.
    "Just once I'd like to do the right thing and not get punished for it."

  7. #7
    Top Of The World
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    10.15.08 @ 02:34 PM
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    Originally posted by Fabulous Shadow aka VHL:
    Ed's Cancer comes back and 5150 becomes the Graceland of LA.
    That's exactly what I think is happening now. I am expecting Ed to be dead in a year or two. That's the only reason VH would be out of the game this long with no news. Ed's still sick, very sick.

  8. #8
    Little Dreamer
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    "5150"
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    12.31.69 @ 04:00 PM
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    I certainly hope Ed does'nt read this board. He'd be deeply upset. I do agree he is still very sick but the last thing he would want is people predicting his death. Have a little respect. Remember, this guy has made some mistakes and I bet he regrets them, hell, we all do. He also gave us years of great music and great times. On a good note, if Ed does come through his ordeal and proves hes cancer free, maybe a anthology next year might happen, remember it is the 25th anniversary since VH1.

  9. #9
    Top Of The World
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    10.15.08 @ 02:34 PM
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    I'm not trying to be a downer. Someone asked me for my prediction. I think Ed is very sick, much sicker than anyone here knows. The fact that he hasn't stopped smoking ( nor probably drinking and drugs ) won't help his recovery. That's my prediction. I hope VH comes back with all guns blazing, but I think they're over.

  10. #10
    Unchained
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    03.04.06 @ 06:04 PM
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    Sammy, Eddie, Al, and Mike quietly head into Ed's studio early next year and see if they can work together again. Either there is a good musical climate and collaboration and they rejoin, or it's on to singer number 4. I believe Roth is now out of the picture.

  11. #11
    Eruption BigBadBrian's Avatar
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    08.12.10 @ 07:15 AM
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    Originally posted by muffdiver:
    </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Fabulous Shadow aka VHL:
    Only news I expect is that Val and Ed do file for divorce. Val remarries. Ed's Cancer comes back and 5150 becomes the Graceland of LA.
    I hope I'm wrong!
    geez i hope yer wrong too.... [img]graemlins/wtf.gif[/img] </font>[/QUOTE]No kidding. If Val left Ed while he was very sick, she'd get my vote for "Bitch/Cunt of the Year." I don't care how well her new stud is slappin' the meat to her. [img]graemlins/wtf.gif[/img]
    "Tardy? I don't feel tardy!"

    "I won't go down in history, but I will go down on your sister!" - DLR

    Pride and Glory - the Packer Story!

  12. #12
    Atomic Punk jrk5150's Avatar
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    12.15.17 @ 02:27 PM
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    I just don't think he'd release the "clean bill of health" statement if he was really sick, but who knows...

    I actually think at some point in 2003 we'll know what's up. I'm not going to try to predict what that is. Actually, I think we'll hear something before the end of the year, but I could be wrong.

    [ September 19, 2002, 11:43 AM: Message edited by: Incredible Edible Dude ]

  13. #13
    Atomic Punk
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    12.14.17 @ 09:52 PM
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    Originally posted by Fabulous Shadow aka VHL:
    Ed's Cancer comes back
    jesus christ fab...wtf [img]graemlins/wtf.gif[/img]

    JMJ
    "you can't change JMJ, it's legendary"- Brett Norton 9/24/07

    "It's the "JMJ" everyone had grown to love, man! Time to blow the roof off this place!"
    -Zachenfoot 2/23/10

    "The links just look a little better with JMJ. Always has, always will." -Hurricane Halen 2/24/10

    "I'm doin' the victory dance. Told ya I'd be back. Tell me ya missed me. Say it like ya mean it" - Blood and Fire. =VH= 2012. Welcome back boys :headband:

    "I don't give a flying fuck about Motley Crue. I give about a half a fuck about Rush. I like Van Halen and don't give a flying fuck how many tickets they all sell. Any questions?"- jimmyw

  14. #14
    Romeo Delight
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    12.31.69 @ 04:00 PM
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    Well this is a very stupid topic! Nothing will happen cause VH is done. Eddie already said if it didn't work with Gary the band was done. Seems he has stuck to that statement so stop chasing a ghost you will never catch. Enjoy the music they recorded during their career. Release the stress from your life as to which singer is coming back blah blah blah cause it ain't gonna happen.

  15. #15
    Good Enough
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    12.31.69 @ 04:00 PM
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    Do any of you remember what Val said when she left? It was in People magazine... She wasn't going to stand beside him while he killed himself. She isnt bitch of the year, he's the selfish asshole of the year! He had Cancer and beat it, started smoking again, it came back. Lost 1/3 of his tounge but got ANOTHER clean bill of health but STARTED SMOKING AGAIN! How many close calls does this guy need. IMO he's just plain suicidial with his health, his life his marriage and his career.
    You cant keep beating the odds. Ed does what ED wants and doesnt care who gets hurt along the way. I'm sure he doesnt need to read this board to see people predicting his death. I'm sure his Dr has already told him if he keeps up his lifstule he will die young. I love the guys music and I'd love to hear more of it but right now I truely think it's OVER!

    [ September 19, 2002, 03:18 PM: Message edited by: Fabulous Shadow aka VHL ]
    <a href="http://www.vhwalkathon.org" target="_blank">VHWalkathon - Project 316</a><br /><br />EVH: The music is first and foremost. That's the way it's always been and that's the way it will always be. Because without the music, what is there? Nothing. There's nothing without the music. You can't even cop an attitude without the music (laughs).

 

 

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