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  1. #1
    Eruption ETRIGAN's Avatar
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    01.07.15 @ 01:55 PM
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    Donor

    Here are my eight point suggestions for Dave to get success. (Or at least not make his fans cringe in embarrassment.)

    1.Shut your fuckin mouth. Talking shit about anyoneís music should be the last of his worries. When he puts out some decent music on his own then we will see. If he really wants a reunion he should shut his fuckin pie hole!

    2.Do something with the hair. Comb overs should be illegal. You arenít fooling anyone. Pull it back in a pony tail, buzz it short or take Ted Nugentís suggestion and shave it bald and shine it up till the glare burns the eyes out of their socketís. No hats!!

    3.Burn anything you own that is spandex! It may have been a bold fashion statement in the 80ís but now (and especially on a man that is pushing 50) itís just embarrassing! Get some leather pants and a t-shirt or go the Robert Palmer route and get a suit! Get a shirt that covers that Stanley Steamer chest. A man of Daveís age looks ludicrous with a shirt that is split to the navel. You donít like seeing chicks with hip huggers and crop tops when they have done lop syndrome. (Like you see every time youíre in a Wal-Mart!)

    4.Listen to the Dave years catalog till the timing and melodies are burned in to your mind! I am sick of hearing Dave ďrapĒ on these songs. They have a melody and timing! If you get too winded from doing the splits and dancing around to sing, quit moving around so much!

    5.Give up on the old lines. Everyone has heard the ďIíll fuck your girlfriendĒ rap. It got old back then and it was funnier when that hot 25 year old with the nice rack and the short skirt and thong, wasnít possibly your daughter. Quit using a formula. Improvise or shut up and sing!

    6.If your not getting back in Van Halen, join or start a super group. Get someone that can write a good song. Get Schenker. Just write the vocal melody and the lyrics. Donít tell the guy that knows what a good song sounds like what he is doing wrong. NO COVER TUNES!!!!!

    7.Daveís range is not what it used to be. I suggest whether it is with Van Halen or someone else they consider tuning down a whole step instead of just a half.

    8.Lose the shtick. The midgets are old news and the hired hot chicks just look like beards. (Thatís all Iím going to say about that.)

    Iím sure you can add more to this (please do.) I just want to see Dave get some credibility so if there is a reunion it wonít be embarrassing. I hate to say it but at the Sammy/Dave press conference, he looked like a past their prime prostitute, that just canít admit their age.
    "Why behave in public if you're living on a playground?"

  2. #2
    Eruption
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    08.02.17 @ 01:39 PM
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    E FLAT BLUES...
    ..In 1984 Van Halen Jumped Panama
    Topped Jimmy & Dropped Dead Legs
    ..Ill Wait in this House of Pain with the
    Girl Gone Bad while I am really Hot for Teacher..


    ..Think it was easy ?..you stare at an album
    Cover that long..

  3. #3
    Atomic Punk MikeL's Avatar
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    03.03.15 @ 08:31 PM
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    Donor

    Dave just needs to start listening to Glenn and me.

  4. #4
    Romeo Delight
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    12.31.69 @ 04:00 PM
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    In the immortal words of one Ted "Theodore" Logan, he "needs to get Eddie Van Halen on guitar".
    "Ladies and Gentlemen, I'd like to introduce the KING of ten fingers and six strings, Mr. Edward Van Halen!!!"- DLR @the '83 US Festival<br /><br />"MY NAME IS FRANKENSTRAT!!"-Gene Wilder,1974-Young Frankenstrat

  5. #5
    Beloved Glenn's Avatar
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    02.13.15 @ 08:56 AM
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    Donor

    Originally posted by MikeL:
    Dave just needs to start listening to Glenn and me.
    I think I'd have to start every sentence with, "now Dave, don't take this the wrong way, but..."

    Providing it remains friendly [img]graemlins/thumb.gif[/img] I think this is a good topic for the Opinions forum, so I'm going to move it there now. [img]smile.gif[/img]

  6. #6
    Atomic Punk FORD's Avatar
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    10.22.17 @ 08:55 PM
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    Originally posted by Glenn:
    </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by MikeL:
    Dave just needs to start listening to Glenn and me.
    I think I'd have to start every sentence with, "now Dave, don't take this the wrong way, but..."

    Providing it remains friendly [img]graemlins/thumb.gif[/img] I think this is a good topic for the Opinions forum, so I'm going to move it there now. [img]smile.gif[/img]
    </font>[/QUOTE]Yeah, this post started off every bit as friendly as that "campfire" those guys wearing the bedsheets started the other night with a big ol' cross in the middle of it.

    I don't have time to properly address this kind of sheepshit right now, but this is certainly a lot closer to "mean spirited bashing" than a post that points out suspicious timing of EVH Inc/Brad $tark$ "official statements".
    Eat Us And Smile

    Welcome back, Van HALEN!!!!

    ...It's the BAND and Dave is really the cat that can front VH. He sang his ASS off and was really cool. No cheese here guys, this is filet Mignon! - Steve Lukather's comment after witnessing a Van HALEN 2007 rehearsal

    "What then is this bleating of sheep in my ears?"- 1 Samuel 15:14

  7. #7
    Beloved Glenn's Avatar
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    02.13.15 @ 08:56 AM
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    Donor

    Originally posted by FORD:
    Yeah, this post started off every bit as friendly as that "campfire" those guys wearing the bedsheets started the other night with a big ol' cross in the middle of it.
    Comparing criticism of DLR to a KKK rally??? FORD, you've just won the lead in the Links production of Drama Queen.

    I don't have time to properly address this kind of sheepshit right now, but this is certainly a lot closer to "mean spirited bashing" than a post that points out suspicious timing of EVH Inc/Brad $tark$ "official statements".
    Still whining huh FORD??? I see from the topic on homosexuality that you're also still refusing to stand behind your own words. Surprise surprise!

  8. #8
    Eruption ETRIGAN's Avatar
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    01.07.15 @ 01:55 PM
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    Donor

    Originally posted by FORD:
    </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Glenn:
    </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by MikeL:
    Dave just needs to start listening to Glenn and me.
    I think I'd have to start every sentence with, "now Dave, don't take this the wrong way, but..."

    Providing it remains friendly [img]graemlins/thumb.gif[/img] I think this is a good topic for the Opinions forum, so I'm going to move it there now. [img]smile.gif[/img]
    </font>[/QUOTE]Yeah, this post started off every bit as friendly as that "campfire" those guys wearing the bedsheets started the other night with a big ol' cross in the middle of it.

    I don't have time to properly address this kind of sheepshit right now, but this is certainly a lot closer to "mean spirited bashing" than a post that points out suspicious timing of EVH Inc/Brad $tark$ "official statements".
    </font>[/QUOTE]Sorry FORD. Call it mean spirited if you like. I just wish Dave would get his act into the year 2002. Someone needs to tell him to drop the bullshit and remember how to rock. Not that this post will do that. If you can't agree with some of my post then you are full of shit because you know it's true. But please, try to refrain from saying Lying Dutchman and sheep in your post. You roll those catch phrases out like your favorite politician, George Sr.
    "Why behave in public if you're living on a playground?"

  9. #9
    Eruption
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    05.18.12 @ 09:24 AM
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    [img]graemlins/sleep.gif[/img]

  10. #10
    Sinner's Swing! twonabomber's Avatar
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    12.08.16 @ 03:21 AM
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    Originally posted by ETRIGAN:
    Here are my eight point suggestions for Dave to get success...
    stick to what you know, be it flippin' burgers, moppin' floors, shovelin' shit, whatever it is you do with your pitiful existence. 'cause you don't know shit about Roth and Roll, baby...let's see your dopey ass get on stage and follow even two of your suggestions, and see what kind of crowd you draw...
    "is this a good show tonight, or fuckin' what?" - DLR, Montreal, 11/10/07

    Toronto 10/7...Cleveland 10/10...Toronto 10/12...Montreal 11/10

  11. #11
    Eruption ETRIGAN's Avatar
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    01.07.15 @ 01:55 PM
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    Donor

    Originally posted by twonabomber:
    </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by ETRIGAN:
    Here are my eight point suggestions for Dave to get success...
    stick to what you know, be it flippin' burgers, moppin' floors, shovelin' shit, whatever it is you do with your pitiful existence. 'cause you don't know shit about Roth and Roll, baby...let's see your dopey ass get on stage and follow even two of your suggestions, and see what kind of crowd you draw...</font>[/QUOTE]Am I addressing Robert Plant or James Brown?

    P.S. Don't call me "baby". I don't swing that way.

    [ May 13, 2002 at 09:40 PM: Message edited by: ETRIGAN ]</p>
    "Why behave in public if you're living on a playground?"

  12. #12
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    02.18.11 @ 08:09 PM
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    wow etrigan, you summed it up perfectly for me.

    what the brothers said i gues really IS true ... the Dave we know and love is no more.

    having a new well aged dave would be a great thing, and damned fun to watch.

    lol i love your comment about 'fans cringing'. honestly, i'm embarrased to say i'm a dave fan.

  13. #13
    Sinner's Swing! twonabomber's Avatar
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    12.08.16 @ 03:21 AM
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    Originally posted by ETRIGAN:
    </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by twonabomber:
    </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by ETRIGAN:
    Here are my eight point suggestions for Dave to get success...
    stick to what you know, be it flippin' burgers, moppin' floors, shovelin' shit, whatever it is you do with your pitiful existence. 'cause you don't know shit about Roth and Roll, baby...let's see your dopey ass get on stage and follow even two of your suggestions, and see what kind of crowd you draw...</font>[/QUOTE]Brilliant posts. I get this ^ from one genius and I get a [img]graemlins/sleep.gif[/img] from DJ88 who started a new thread that is in direct retaliation. I think I touched a nerve. You can disagree with my post, but at least do it intelligantly. I bet you guys have the same hair cut and the smae clothes you wore in 1985, right? </font>[/QUOTE]nope. my hair fell out. no more 80's style for me...
    "is this a good show tonight, or fuckin' what?" - DLR, Montreal, 11/10/07

    Toronto 10/7...Cleveland 10/10...Toronto 10/12...Montreal 11/10

  14. #14
    Eruption
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    05.18.12 @ 09:24 AM
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    Originally posted by ETRIGAN:
    Brilliant posts. I get this ^ from one genius and I get a [img]graemlins/sleep.gif[/img] from DJ88 who started a new thread that is in direct retaliation. I think I touched a nerve. You can disagree with my post, but at least do it intelligantly. I bet you guys have the same hair cut and the smae clothes you wore in 1985, right?
    You don't actually want a response to your bash fest. That's not why you started this thread. You started this thread with one purpose. To bash Dave.

    As far as touching a nerve you didn't. Glenn did.

  15. #15
    XTC man! homeunit's Avatar
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    09.05.15 @ 12:20 PM
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    Etrigan

    The hardcore Daveheads here are the true sheep. Reminds me of Jonestown. Reality just isn't part of their views when it comes to Roth. To them, they think that it's still 1982 and that DLR is doing something inovative and good. They're wrong on both counts.

    When asked to address some valid points you get these and [img]graemlins/sleep.gif[/img] but no actual response to questions, or comments.
    My Band
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