Follow us on...
Follow us on Twitter Follow us on Facebook Watch us on YouTube
Register
Page 1 of 6 1234 ... LastLast
Results 1 to 15 of 80
  1. #1
    Good Enough
    Join Date
    02.21.00
    Location
    Canada
    Posts
    2,491
    Favorite VH Album

    Carnal Knowledge
    Last Online

    03.30.13 @ 09:28 AM
    Likes
    0
    Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Dear Wengie
    I've been a musician for 10 years, but I'm still having trouble achieving that "tone" I've been looking for. Can you help?
    Thanks, Bill.

    Well Bill, of course you're having trouble getting your tone. You're probably not playing fast enough. Haven't you listened to any of my albums? What's your problem, you little worm? You probably suck, suck, suck!!
    The secret, as anyone who isn't as stupid as you would know is in how fast you play. If you're playing extremely fast and your tone still isn't there, then play faster you idiot.
    Glad I could help.

  2. #2
    Banned!
    Join Date
    06.14.01
    Location
    New York
    Posts
    651
    Favorite VH Album

    MCMLXXXIV
    Favorite VH Song

    D.O.A.
    Last Online

    12.31.69 @ 04:00 PM
    Likes
    0
    Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    I used to be a shred fan and I lost interest after I saw how the shred "attitude" is. The shred attitude is that "my chops, my equipment, my skill, my technique, my taste and my compositions are extraordinary while your chops, equipment, skill, technique, taste and composition are absolute shit."

    They're so arrogant and rude it's amazing. EVH is nothing but a hack and talentless loser to them. Just for a little taste to see what I'm talking about... go to www.guitarworld.com, click on message board and go to "Let It Shred." Never I have I seen such stupidity and arrogance in an online message board than there. [img]smilies/sleep.gif[/img]

  3. #3
    XTC man! homeunit's Avatar
    Join Date
    01.08.00
    Location
    Vancouver, Canada
    Posts
    4,113
    Favorite VH Album

    Cover Bands from Pasadena
    Favorite VH Song

    Babe Don't leave Me Alone
    Last Online

    09.05.15 @ 12:20 PM
    Likes
    29
    Liked 9 Times in 7 Posts

    Dear Wengie

    My neck joint get in the way of my shredding, help!!

    Also I don't have enough frets
    My Band
    Baluchitherium

  4. #4
    Good Enough
    Join Date
    02.21.00
    Location
    Canada
    Posts
    2,491
    Favorite VH Album

    Carnal Knowledge
    Last Online

    03.30.13 @ 09:28 AM
    Likes
    0
    Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    AxeSlinger, thank you for those kind words. It warms my heart to see there are people out there, although much, much less talented than me, who still understand my brilliance.
    Now, next question.

    HomeUnit, "My neck joint get in the way of my shredding"
    What kind of grammar is that? My neck joint "get"? Were you born on a boat?
    The word is "gets".
    Of course it "gets" in your way. You, along with every one else simply don't have my talent. I could play with 3 neck joints and they wouldn't get in the way of my blistering speed. How can you play if you can't spell. You need more frets? Frets only get in the way. First, let's assume you had my talent...hahaha, what am I saying. Did you like my joke?
    I could play a banjo through a cheerio's box and you would still hear my brilliance and hauntingly beautiful fretwork come through.
    You however, are a pimple on my ass.
    I would recommend you take up the tuba.
    Have I helped? Of course I have.
    Next.

  5. #5
    Good Enough
    Join Date
    02.21.00
    Location
    Canada
    Posts
    2,491
    Favorite VH Album

    Carnal Knowledge
    Last Online

    03.30.13 @ 09:28 AM
    Likes
    0
    Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    A letter comes to us from Al in L.A.
    Dear Wengie
    Being a percussionist of some renown, I have played with a number of people, but have not had the pleasure of playing with you. I was just wondering how you form your melodies and vocal lines.
    Al

    Well Al,
    You being a drummer, I assume you would think that I would actually converse with someone who isn't a guitarist. Go play with your stick.
    Next.

  6. #6
    Good Enough
    Join Date
    02.21.00
    Location
    Canada
    Posts
    2,491
    Favorite VH Album

    Carnal Knowledge
    Last Online

    03.30.13 @ 09:28 AM
    Likes
    0
    Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Dear Wengie
    I play with very good equipment so I don't think that's my problem. I use a Mesa Boogie amplifier, and a variety of guitars, including a Jem, Wolfgang, Tom Anderson, PRS, and others.
    For years I have studied the techniques of Vai, Satriani, Van halen, etc., and yet can't seem to get the sound I want.
    I need your advice.
    Luther

    Luther
    Mesa What?? There's no such amplifier. Do you think I'm stupid?
    You certainly won't get a good sound studying the hacks you mentioned, playing that cheap flea market equipment. Nowhere did I see my name on your list. I know they're hacks because none of them ever returns my calls. They're intimidated by my fierce prowess of the fingerboard. Those stupid court restraining orders only prove my point. And those guitars. Crap, every one.
    You need a strat, and it must be yellow, and it must be routed so most of the fretboard is missing.
    You must use the Marshall Wengie model amplifier, with the new Celestion Wengie high speed speakers. They vibrate much faster than a regular speaker and therefore sound much better. That's what the publicity people at celestion tell me and they wouldn't lie.
    You must also stand in front of the mirror when you play, with your legs spread, rocking your body from side to side, and your cheap headstock pointing straight up like your pecker, because in your case that's just an extention of what it really is anyway.
    Also, since it's well known that your tone travels through your hair, it must be teased and fluffy. If you meet all these criteria, and buy my Wengie home study course you'll be on the right track.
    You of course, being the talentless pond scum that you are, could never hope to achieve my greatness, or genius, but it will give you a goal you can at least dream about.

  7. #7
    Unchained
    Join Date
    03.31.01
    Location
    VHForums
    Posts
    462
    Favorite VH Album

    Fair Warning
    Favorite VH Song

    Humans Being
    Last Online

    12.31.69 @ 04:00 PM
    Likes
    0
    Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    I can't listen to shred guitar, I'd rather listen to a guitarist who is heartfelt then one who just plays fast because it's cool. [img]smilies/rolleyes.gif[/img] Their so unoriginal and copy themselves over and over again. Damned if you could hear an actual song by Weenie, well written and true.

    [ August 03, 2001 at 03:15 PM: Message edited by: Sleepless Nights ]
    "There's a time and place for everything- for everyone."

  8. #8
    Good Enough
    Join Date
    02.21.00
    Location
    Canada
    Posts
    2,491
    Favorite VH Album

    Carnal Knowledge
    Last Online

    03.30.13 @ 09:28 AM
    Likes
    0
    Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Well Sleepless, thanks for saying I'm cool, and yes, you're right. My songs are well written and true.
    Much better than those Wengie wannabe's, like Vai, and Van Halen and the others that aspire to my level.
    Unfortunately my fans like yourself can never hope to reach my level of greatness, but that's no reason not to keep dreaming, all the while understanding of course that it will never happen.
    Now excuse me. I was in the middle of teasing my hair when you rudely interupted me.

  9. #9
    Sinner's Swing! Rick S's Avatar
    Join Date
    09.29.99
    Location
    Wilmington ,Delaware
    Posts
    3,128
    Favorite VH Album

    fair warning
    Favorite VH Song

    mean street
    Last Online

    06.23.17 @ 09:49 PM
    Likes
    0
    Liked 1 Time in 1 Post

    dear wengie......1. what guage strings do you use ?i use super extra really very light: 3-25 s. 2 where do you get your puffy sleeved shirts at? thanks, you rule wengie. Rick.
    www.rickshick.tumblr.com

    1love4chi

    Deftones , now and forever and only second to VH.

    Dave or Sammy ?.........pffffft Eddie.

  10. #10
    XTC man! homeunit's Avatar
    Join Date
    01.08.00
    Location
    Vancouver, Canada
    Posts
    4,113
    Favorite VH Album

    Cover Bands from Pasadena
    Favorite VH Song

    Babe Don't leave Me Alone
    Last Online

    09.05.15 @ 12:20 PM
    Likes
    29
    Liked 9 Times in 7 Posts

    Eat shit and die Wengie
    My Band
    Baluchitherium

  11. #11
    Good Enough
    Join Date
    07.30.00
    Age
    44
    Location
    Indianapolis, Indiana.
    Posts
    1,746
    Last Online

    12.31.69 @ 04:00 PM
    Likes
    0
    Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Dear Wengie,

    When I go to try out new gear, I always play stuff like Nirvana's "Smells Like Tom Skeritt" or Lead Zipperin's "Fairway to Seven", but then some big mean guy grabs the guitar from me, bitch slaps me, and says that I need to learn some REAL music. Then he plays something by a band called Moat's Art and kicks me out of the store.

    This Moat's Art band plays really fast stuff. Have you ever heard of them?
    Don't bark at me...<b>I</b> didn't name ya.

  12. #12
    Good Enough
    Join Date
    02.21.00
    Location
    Canada
    Posts
    2,491
    Favorite VH Album

    Carnal Knowledge
    Last Online

    03.30.13 @ 09:28 AM
    Likes
    0
    Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Rick
    I'm afraid you can't get my strings on the open market. They're made made expressly for me at a secret location in stockholm.
    They're all 4's except the two heavier gauge strings on top, which are 6's. As well my necks are made by Black and Decker. Normally I don't give secrets like that away, except you caught me in a jovial mood, and with those tree trunk strings you use you couldn't possibly hope to match my amazing dexterity. 3-25's..haha, are you for real? If you're going to make them that heavy why not just use barbed wire.
    For your information I don't wear puffy sleeved shirts. I have puffy arms. I suppose I should excercise more, but I just don't have time, what with having to deal with the masses of musical snails like yourself, and the uncountable thick headed fans always clamoring for autographs. Why, I can't walk down the street without someone yelling something at me, and if I bothered to pay attention to what they were saying I know they're bothering me for another autograph.

    Homeunit
    I'm afraid bowing and scraping won't do you any good.
    And now I'm getting angry at you for prematurely releasing the name of my up and coming album.
    It was supposed to be a surprise, but now you've let the cat out of my bag, and my publicity people won't like this one bit.
    In just a little while, right after I finish this moronic waste of time letter, I have an autograph signing at the local MacDonalds, where I'll be sharing the throne with Mayor MacCheese.
    My personal appearance was to announce my next album "Eat Shit and Die", but now you've ruined it for me. I shouldn't be angry at you though. At least you spelled it right this time.
    I know you're angry because you can't spell, being the mental midget you are, but that's not my fault, just as your inability to play at my awsome speed isn't my fault.
    Now, after I've scarfed down 6 or 7 big mac's, and I'm on the throne waiting to sign autographs for those idio..I mean for my fans, you'll have ruined the surprise.
    I know that if that no talent bum Satriani, or Eric Johnson, or even that clod fingered Jeff Beck were here they'd agree with me, although like everything else they'd do it more slowly that I ever could.
    I just can't believe the verbal cruelty of some people. Don't you ever think about the effect of your words on people's feelings you moron. How about if I send you a guitar neck with more frets. Then you could pretend you were me. Remember, I said "pretend".
    Wengie

    [ August 03, 2001 at 04:53 PM: Message edited by: tribb ]

  13. #13
    Good Enough
    Join Date
    02.21.00
    Location
    Canada
    Posts
    2,491
    Favorite VH Album

    Carnal Knowledge
    Last Online

    03.30.13 @ 09:28 AM
    Likes
    0
    Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Yes I have AVH, but I'll have to discuss that when I return. In the meantime sit down and have a bowl of cornflakes.
    Wengie

    [ August 03, 2001 at 04:52 PM: Message edited by: tribb ]

  14. #14
    Banned!
    Join Date
    06.14.01
    Location
    New York
    Posts
    651
    Favorite VH Album

    MCMLXXXIV
    Favorite VH Song

    D.O.A.
    Last Online

    12.31.69 @ 04:00 PM
    Likes
    0
    Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    I've noticed that when I learn one of your solos I basically have learned all of them. I learned your harmonic minor runs from "Black Star" (BTW, great song title and I'm sure it's not a Deep Purple ripoff) and noticed that it's basically the same thing you play in the rest of your songs but just in a different key. Also, the sweep picking arpeggios always fit the song and never are in there just for the sake of showing off. Wengie you are a true master and we all bow to your unearthly technique, 200 stratocasters and 4 Ferraris. You are the greatest of all time.

  15. #15
    XTC man! homeunit's Avatar
    Join Date
    01.08.00
    Location
    Vancouver, Canada
    Posts
    4,113
    Favorite VH Album

    Cover Bands from Pasadena
    Favorite VH Song

    Babe Don't leave Me Alone
    Last Online

    09.05.15 @ 12:20 PM
    Likes
    29
    Liked 9 Times in 7 Posts

    Wengie

    Jesus Joseph sun You have no telling you Mary such ships your rotten you fucking soft your horrible Fucking shit box mother Fokker Piece of crap toward He no good run PC should Carpentersfucking at Guide and the current slot edge Lord Your mothers and 40 fucking PC should crap Carpenters and The fucking offsetting the IBM PC shit Weatherford to go to Ellen this even over IP fucking cock sector Jesus Cray story flocking 2 Sheet
    My Band
    Baluchitherium

 

 

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •