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  1. #1
    Romeo Delight
    Join Date
    07.05.01
    Posts
    95
    Favorite VH Album

    WACF
    Favorite VH Song

    In a Simple Rhyme
    Last Online

    12.31.69 @ 04:00 PM
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    Since there's absolutely no REAL news regarding the band....Here's some concocted information for your reading pleasure.

    As of Oct 2000, DLR was recording with Van Halen but things definitely went awry when Roth discovered that his penis was reducing in size at a rate faster than his hairline. Roth went on a strict Viagra diet and tried numerous methods of enlarging his companion's
    measurements to no avail. The band couldn't be reached for comment but sources close to the band say that Eddie could never go on the road with with a "Limp Bizkit"

    In other news, Sammy Hagar has reportedly been approached about a possible reunion with Van Halen in which Hagar neither confirms or denies. Sources close to Hagar cite Sammy's reluctance to rejoin the band as a fear of not being able to come up with any more songs with the word "love" in the title.

    Rumors abound about a Van Halen collaboration with David Coverdale actually
    hold some validity. Insiders in the VH camp report that Coverdale actually recorded an entire album with the VH boys but was suddenly released when the band realized that Coverdale was not married to
    Tawny Kitaen any longer. It seems that VH's
    interest in Coverdale was strictly reduced to filming some raunchy videos with Kitaan spread out on Ed's car.

    Insiders to the Van Halen camp reveal that the group has had recent sessions with one Theodore Nugent AKA Ted Nugent. The sessions were abrupted prior to completion due to Nugent's inability to tell the difference between a wild swine and Ray Daniels. Rumors abound that Mr. Daniels was admitted to a Los Angeles hospital with an arrow attached to his gludius maximimus.

    In other news, it has been reported that Van Halen is working on a multi-singer collaboration for a new project. The project contains singles produced by Van Halen with vocal efforts from such well-knowns as Madonna, Courtney Love, Jewel and Brittani Spears...When asked about the unusual lineup of vocalists, the band simply stated, "If we're gonna go down, we're gonna go down on some hot really pu$#y"

  2. #2
    Damage your reputation seenbad's Avatar
    Join Date
    02.24.00
    Age
    45
    Location
    Portland Oregon
    Posts
    26,946
    Favorite VH Album

    Halen 1
    Favorite VH Song

    I'm the one
    Last Online

    11.30.17 @ 06:15 PM
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    Liked 257 Times in 92 Posts


    Donor

    lmao! [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img]

    That was pretty good man. heh heh [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img]
    sheepa latta peepah dabba looka foh a moopy

    Gunter glieben glauchen globen

  3. #3
    Romeo Delight
    Join Date
    07.03.01
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    12.31.69 @ 04:00 PM
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    that was really funny!

    its like a new version at the end of hot for teacher video.

  4. #4
    Good Enough hellohawk's Avatar
    Join Date
    01.26.00
    Location
    The X
    Posts
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    08.10.15 @ 07:37 AM
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    Premium Member
    [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img] [img]smilies/scared.gif[/img] [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img]

    If only we got this much news, that was hilarious.
    VHLinks Fantasy Baseball Champions: 2004, 2009, 2011

  5. #5
    Good Enough
    Join Date
    02.21.00
    Location
    Canada
    Posts
    2,491
    Favorite VH Album

    Carnal Knowledge
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    03.30.13 @ 09:28 AM
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    LMAO [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img] [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img]

  6. #6
    Sinner's Swing! Darkstar's Avatar
    Join Date
    01.04.00
    Location
    New Hampshire
    Posts
    2,784
    Favorite VH Album

    Fair Warning
    Favorite VH Song

    Too Many!
    Last Online

    12.04.14 @ 11:23 PM
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    Well that's not what I heard [img]smilies/rolleyes.gif[/img] .............My sources in the medical community have informed me that the reason for this long period of inactivity has been because of Alex, not Eddie. It seems that at the end of the last tour, Alex's neck had deteriorated to the point that he was unable to hold his head upright any longer. Apparently this condition was brought on by having his head stuck up his ex-wifes ass for extended periods of time. It was determined by a panel of L.A.'s top physicians that the best approach to the problem was to surgically remove the neck and reattach the head directly to the shoulders. At this time Alex is without a neck and is unable to turn his head which has severely compromised his drumming ability as well as making him visually difficult to look at. Unfortunately, Alex will remain in this condition until a suitable donor neck can be found and then surgically implanted between Alex's head and shoulders. Until such a time, all tour plans will remain on hold.................
    Love should NOT be work, it should be as easy as breathing Dave's Dreidel

    My god, our government has less secrets than Van Halen. Emperor Brett

    I'm a Democrat and an Atheist, but I've yet to receive my ticket to Hell. Is this something I call Live Nation about or what? JakeK21

    I feel it takes far more energy to hate than love. Well outside of Obamacare, How Many Say I and Heineken beer. ziggysmalls

  7. #7
    Eruption
    Join Date
    10.20.01
    Location
    Somewhere in NJ
    Posts
    1,182
    Favorite VH Album

    1 thru Balance
    Favorite VH Song

    Little Guitars
    Last Online

    05.07.15 @ 12:27 AM
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    LMMFAO!!!!! That's too damn funny!
    The Pumpkinhead!

    "After three decades you still don't get the fact that VH the band was greater than the sum of all of its parts -- and those parts fit perfectly together, especially in the CVH lineup." - Delighted Romeo, Hit the nail right on the God Damn Head!!!

  8. #8
    On Fire VAVH's Avatar
    Join Date
    11.07.99
    Age
    47
    Location
    Colorado
    Posts
    420
    Favorite VH Album

    1984
    Favorite VH Song

    Drop Dead Legs
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    07.10.16 @ 08:46 AM
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    ???? [img]graemlins/bounce.gif[/img] [img]graemlins/bounce.gif[/img]
    Andrew -"People within the industry often have colorful descriptions when talking about Dave".
    Sammy- "He's wacky man…he's as wacky as a motherfucker…but at least you know what you get". Melodicrock interview with Sammy 08/2006

 

 

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