Van_Heineken

What did the article lead you to believe? That she was dragged kicking and screaming to hire an expensive lawyer to represent her OR never in a million years would she accept such an outrageous settlement and will instead be giving the bulk of the monies to charity?

What she fought for and the terms she accepted is in black and white for everyone to see.

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The Artist Formerly Known as Van Heineken

It's Mike

from what i know - he filed for divorce. I would hope that considering the family assets that she hire a good lawyer.

it's not an outrageous settlement. it's very reasonable given the circumstances.

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VanHalenRules

I have to wonder what would have happened had this been the other way around and she was the one with the job and he was stay at home dad. I know two guys that were just that and the courts gave them the shaft even though they had essentially raised the children.

Sadly, not every mother is poster material for Mother's Day.

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Van_Heineken

Yeah, that's what I need. Pity from a guy on a message board.

There's plenty of people in this big ol' world of ours who were dealt a bad hand in the mother department. That doesn't make us a pity case. In fact, I would argue that much of the committment that has led to my success in career and marriage has resulted purely from my having to be independent at such an early age.

Back to the topic at hand. Women (at least the vast majority I hope) did not become mothers for the big payday it affords. Most, in fact, accept that doing so will actually limit their earnings. For Lori Nantz, motherhood in fact was very lucrative as long as she stayed married to Jim. Now that she's not, she should be compensated in terms equal to the rest of her maternal brethren. Why that seems so patently unfair to you is beyond me, but again I suspect your judgment is clouded by factors that are quite immaterial to the case at hand.

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The Artist Formerly Known as Van Heineken

It's Mike

and the courts would be wrong in those cases.

this is true. this does not appear to the case here though.

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billy007

is yours alimony, child support or both?

I guess that's what bothers me about this - only $52,000 a year is defined as child support. If it should be 1/3 (and that makes sense to me), then that should be more - but again, only until she turns 18. Plus assistance with post-high school education, if there is any. The ex-wife should get nothing going forward unless he was a philanderer or abuser or can be proven to have otherwise damaged their marriage. Her losing interest in his career doesn't count under the "otherwise damaged" heading. If she's unemployed, maybe the wife gets a reasonable x amount for a year as kind of an "unemployment" payment, but after that, she's on her own. That's more than generous as unemployment benefits for anyone else who loses their income don't extend for a year.

Anything else the wife and/or daughter gets should be out of the goodness of his heart, not court ordered.

Van_Heineken

And because the settlement is so heavily weighted in favor of the ex wife's alimony and not the child support, the message the ruling sends is: marry a rich guy and you'll have your financial hooks in him for life.

I doubt a prenup would've even helped him. Isn't that primarily asset protection? She still would've cleaned up on the alimony. $1 mil for the rest of her life. I hope for Jim's sake she was at least good in bed.

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The Artist Formerly Known as Van Heineken

It's Mike

Billy, my guess is that $1000 a week might be the state maximum limit for child support.

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It's Mike

here we go again - she didn't marry a rich guy. a prenump wouldn't haven't help since there was nothing to protect at the time.

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steve mcqueen

I pay only child support on 2 kids....no alimony....

My ex-wife didn't want to have to pay taxes on alimony since it is considered income where child support is not.....she would not have gotten any anyway due to our divorce was considered "no fault" and she has worked full time for the 10 years we were married....I could have easily shown the courts that I could not afford both......also, our divorce was done through mediation and I pay support based on time spent with the kids.....I usually spend 2 days a week with them.....if I spend 3 days, I pay less.....1 day more....it's on a sliding scale......and since the amounts are based on a mutually agreed upon amount, not by a judge, I can be a little more flexable with the payments....

I would like to add that I screwed myself.....I chose the amount I would pay each month.....and it is a little more than a third of my net salary.....I did that for my kids, because they were the one getting hurt the most.....and because, well....their my kids.....

don't feel bad for Nantz.....he's got plenty left over.....he filed, not her.....he knew what was coming......and I can hardly see how this woman was a gold-digger after 20+ years of marriage

billy007

I'm sure he will have plenty left over - it's the principle of the thing, though. I think "alimony" is an antiquated and obsolete concept in this day and age of the "liberated" woman. There might be exceptions where some kind of divorce "penalty" is welcome, but I think for two people that mutually agree that the marriage is over, split what they have now equitably; have the non-custodial parent be responsible for some sort of child support; but no future payment to the other spouse should be required.

Van_Heineken

The Nantz case aside, would most people on this board not agree that divorce settlements are typically weighted too heavily in favor of the wife (not just monetarily but custody-wise as well) and some precedents are needed to reset the balance?

Women complain about pay inequality in the workplace. I would argue that inequality is necessary especially for those poor bastards having to fight it out in divorce court. We pay during the courtship. If the women chooses not to work, we pay during the marriage. And now we pay after the marriage. Equality my ass.

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VanHalenRules

As a stay at home dad that has a marriage that is on rocky ground, I have to agree. Should I end up getting divorced, I'm pretty sure that the court will side heavily on my wife's side. I say that's total horseshit.

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Van_Heineken

It is one of the great ironies of this world that it was men who made the act of marriage legally binding so women of the day could be essentially construed as property. What the hell were they thinking?

Love and money are like oil and water.

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The Artist Formerly Known as Van Heineken

It's Mike

Custody wise yes they are. And that's likely the reason they are financially as well. With kids come greater financial responsibillity. My wife and I make basically equal amounts of money. If we were to split, a court would most likely give custody to my wife (as well they should). I can safely say that I would live a much more comfortable life on my salary on my end then she should would her equal salary with her and our son. To even our lifestyles I'd have to give her a pretty decent part of my salary.

as for the second part of your post, i think you are a f-ing caveman. "We need pay inequality to help the poor bastards fighting it out in divorce court?" Are you fucking kidding me?

Here's a thought, how bout "before you have kids" you talk to your wife about what you want to do. Whether or not she should go back to work or not. This talking concept leads to much fewer divorces I find. Women aren't the problem my friend, we are (well in this case you are). This isn't as hard as some men make it out to be.

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