Guys it's dead in hear! What's the funniest/worst thing thats happened to you while playing a gig?

The worst for me was when I first blocked my trem. I wasn't into having my guitar sound like it got run over by a truck at a live show, so I did the paint stick trick. Well of course the first time you do something, you know that there is a colassal fuck-up coming. Anyway, we were playing in this hick club, (that was full), and my monitor mix was non-exsistant, and my bass player loved hearing himself, so no Home in the mix! I had my cab facing the wall, (cause I play a 5150 on 7) so I basically could'nt hear a fucking thing, (don't get me started about soundmen!!). The only way I could hear myself was if I giraffed my neck out to hear the house sound, and you can guess how stupid that looks, and therefore how often I did it. So I'm dealing with it, (solo's were tough), and sure as shit I blow a b string. Everythings alright cause Homey recently blocked his trem right? WRONG, I didn't set the tension right on my bar when I blocked it!!! And remember I'm playing deaf on stage. I was thinking I must look cool, to blow a string and not miss a beat. So after 10-15 seconds I'm thinking I'd better play girrafe boy again, just to make sure everything sounds OK. Well when I heard the noise that I was making, I just about puked, it was fucking horrible. Everything was out just enough to sound like complete shit. So what do you do? I had to stop cause my back-up is tuned differently.

What a nightmarehttp://www.vhlinks.com/vhlforum/smilies/biggrin.gif
The moral
pay for a good soundman, and make sure whatever you do to your guitar works!

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Baluchitherium

[This message has been edited by homeunit (edited March 22, 2000 at 11:58 AM).]

Homeunit
You wanna hear about nightmares, check this out. I still have bad dreams about this, and our singer cringes, even when we joke about it.
I play guitar in a van Halen tribute, and the summer before last we did a festival up north. About 1800 people, beer, the whole nine yards. Anyway at this time we wore makeup and wigs, and costumes, cause our hair was too short, and we thought the effect would be better. Well the night started off bad with the promoter banging on the bathroom door for us to get on stage, saying if we weren't out in 1 minute we weren't getting paid,etc...We didn't get our contracts on time so we thought we had more time.
20 minutes later, we walked on to find out the P.A. system we were promised got blown the night before by another tribute act, so we had no monitors(anyone whose ever done an outdoors venue know you've gotta have monitors), and the system they sent was for about a 150 seat room, instead of an outdoor field. We had no power, and the sound guy was someone that was just sent up to move the stuff, so he didn't have a clue. The stage was barely big enough for our drum riser, so there was hardly any room to move as well. My high point of the night came when I was up on the drum riser, and did a flying Eddie. As I jumped up, my wig got caught on a cross cable, and while it didn't rip right off, it came back down at an angle, so it was turned to the right.
I couldn't see properly, and almost did a belly flop off the riser. I caught my self and landed on my knees instead, and man that hurt. The audience was laughing cause my wig was turned around so only half my face was showing, and we couldn't stop the song cause we were right in the middle.
The guys in the band were laughing too, needless to say. If I had any ego that night it was gone when that song was over. The night ended with the audience screaming "louder" cause the P.A. was so shitty they couldn't hear the music. A punchout started, and we had to wait just to leave the stage, while the cops cleared it up.
We finally walked back to the dressing room while listening to" nice wig can my girlfriend borrow it", and other comments like that.
Let me tell you, that was the "last" time I put on a wig, and makeup. We've grown our hair, and know who our sound people are before we go on. And contracts in our hand way before the gig.
I've had the time I pulled out my cord in the middle of a solo. but that was nothing compared to that night, and now I'm wireless anyway. I know there's other stories like mine, and would like to hear them. C'mon people.

That's pretty fucking funny Tribb. What the hell were you thinking with wig and makeup?

I remember my buddy was soloing one night and he was standing on the drum riser doing the Pete Townsend thing, and on his second or third time around his hand hit the sharp end of a light pot and tore his fucking finger reaaaaaaaal good. That was it for that show and the Townsendhttp://www.vhlinks.com/vhlforum/smilies/biggrin.gif

What a mess, Yuck!

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Baluchitherium

This is a great subject!! I can go on!! Lets see....the usual stepping on a chord and unplugging yourself. I did this New Years 1996 in an Auditorium during the SECOND solo to "Crossroads"...the real cool solo! Umm...oh,I got one of those Satriani guitars. It was the shit JS100 model and I when we started our show,we opened with "Crazy Train" and when I pulled the bar up on it..the whole thing went out of tune bad!! Then the A string broke!! Right in the begining!!!! That sucks! When I first got the Peavey 5150 combo I played a show with it and a fuse blew in it. Luckily I know an electrician who was there and new to put Christmas tinsle in it and hold it down which he did the entire show! Great guy! Ummm.....in October my amp got cooked and someone had to drive back to my house to get a backup amp! What else....oh!! oh!!! one night we were playing on local tv and we were doing Hendrix's "Machine Gun" and I laid the Ernie Ball EVH model down on the floor of the stage and my bass player was stepping on the bar while I played the thing like a piano! In between sets that night,we had the neck of the thing and that guitar was beat to hell!! If anyone out there has it,it is serial number 86879 I believe. What else......While recording my cd,I was standing ther waiting to record and my Wolfgang unhooked from the strap and it fell face down on the floor!!! AHHHH!!! The toggle switch snapped right off right off!!! That sucks! Then I played so much with the volume and tone knobs on the Wolfgang that I killed them and had to get new ones. My Wolfgang is my Wolfgang. I had a striped 5150 guitar too. One morning my mom was waking me up for school and knocked it over and the neck snapped off! Holy shit!! That is a bummer. Oh!! OH !!! OH!!! Listen to this!!!! We were the house band in my home town. Anyway....during our break the asshole club owner was trying to be a hot shot and wanted to try the guitar out. Well anyway,he knocked it over instead...now this is the Wolfgang I am talking about,he knocked my Wolfgang over and now when you bend the high E string on the seventh fret or fifteenth fret you lose the sound! Isn't that bullshit?! No,you know what...that place is getting egged tonight for that! What else....oh,my cousin was fooling around with like WD40 and picked up a guitar at my house and the neck felt like shit! Like it was icey. The thing that locks the Trans Trem into place on the Steinberger,that little thing fell off and under my fridge. So now it was a regular trem.I always get my shirt caught on the drop D and it rips my shirts up on the cuff all the time! I have to go think...all this talk makes me wanna go play....I will look at a couple more posts and go. Bye guys!! This was a fun subject!

Princess,
I was crying reading your post. Partly from laughter, and partly for the grief your poor guitars endure!
Ok here's mine. Not too bad, but it shocked me. I went to a open stage blues jam with my trusty Kramer Pacer, waited my turn and scoped out the amp with the best tone. I get in line for that puppy, go on and rip some inspired solos so that the old black guy hosting it takes off his hat and waves it at me as if to cool me off! Then before the next song, he introduces it to the crowd and says since we got a hotshot up here, let's do Hendrix's Red House. They look at me to start this tune, which I may have heard once or twice in my life. I ask what key and someone says E. I do my best and get a few funny looks when the band kicks in, and the tune is grooving but feels too strange when I solo. I finally realize I am in the wrong freaking key! Everyone else is in A!! I was wayyy out there! Got some weird ass looks after the tune was over.

Only other strange gig was when we played at a AirForce club and I had no distortion at all ( it was an older crowd and they said keep it down with no fuzz shit or else you won't get paid). Hard to do rock solos with a clean jazz tone. Bizarre.
Peace
GH4L

Homeunit
We were trying to make the show as realistic as possible. Bad move. We actually have the whole night on video, but there's no way anyone's gonna see it. I could make a fortune with it on ebay bloopers...haha
Princess you got some bad mugumbo happening there. Your poor guitars. I'd be afraid to share the night with you guys. between the two of us we'd probably burn the place down..lol

Trib
I would pay $ to see that vidhttp://www.vhlinks.com/vhlforum/smilies/biggrin.gif

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Baluchitherium

Worst gig eh. Well, let's see. My band had been hired by this social club in school to play at one of their parties. It was at a state park and they had a cool stage and what not, so we were jazzed. This was an outdoor venue and it was early April and the weather had been awesome all week going in to the show. The day of the show, a hellacious cold front came through and by showtime the temp was like 21 degrees farenheight. My hands were so numb that I couldn't feel my strings, so I played awful. My drummer, was cutting the fingers out of some Jersey gloves with a razor blade, and he slipped and sliced his nose really badly. He bled like a stuck pig, so he tied this bandana around his head, kind of like what people used to do with a tooth ache, except it was around his nose. I broke a string on my main axe, then on my two backups. They happened to be the high E string on all of them, so I took a b string and put it on my main Kramer and tuned it up to E. I couldn't bend it for shit. The drummer also broke a spring on his kick drum pedal, the bassist fell off the fucking stage, and to top it all off, the singer forgot the words to two songs. I have never been so embarrassed in my life, but you know what, it's funny as hell now. I guess that is what they mean by paying your dues. Looks like we have all paid them and then some. lol Oh yeah, the drummer had to have 12 stitches in his nose, and to this day he still has a scar. I guess he'll never forget that gig.

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Really OnFire!!!

Eat Us And Smile!!!!!

"I won't go down in history, but I will go down on your sister!"...David Lee Roth

BrownSound, I would have paid to have been at that one..lol
You're right. It looks like a lot of us have paid our dues.

hmmm worst would have to be the gig in the Colorado foothills. Was an outdoor show and we used a bunch of pressboard we found for the lower stage (we had a very well built drum riser but need some kind of stage for this). It was foggy and as night fel we went on stage. We thought the light show was awsome in the fog. Well, that fog turned to rain and rain does not mix with press board very well, we started falling thought the stage (only about a foot high). we had to stand vrey still in fornt of our mics or we would punch another hole and get a foot stcuk. was pretty damn funny.

damn I hate this IBM keyboard, I type dislesic on it. look at all the words I missed typed and I am too lazy to go fix it.

Oh man I was cracking up reading all the posts, I can relate to all of you. Let's see I've got a bunch of good ones, here's two that come to mind that are more funny than being terrible situations because they're recent, but I've had PLENTY of those awful moments too.

A couple months ago, we were playing in a club in LA, and there's a song where I like to stand on the drum riser (if there's one) and then jump off when the song kicks in, as it starts mellow. So I'm up there, the lights are right in my face I can't see anything I'm totally blinded, so I don't notice the wood beam about 4 inches above my head, but of course the audience can see I'm in for it. So I jump, and "blammo!!!!" I of course bash the top of my head on the beam. Now it probably looked worse than it really was, but somehow I didn't fall down, only my teeth clanked together and my pride was a little hurt. Everyone said it looked rather funny.

The other situation acutally occurred last Saturday night. We were hired to play this little dive bar place. So we go in there, set up on the floor and start whipping out some covers, our own stuff, etc. So this huge guy is hanging around, he's totally wasted, and he keeps yelling out requests for music he can slam to. Well we're not really a thrash band, so who the hell knew what he wanted. Well we started to play some of our real fast stuff and he went nuts and was trying to get people to slam with him, he was so gone. Eventually he started to do that pacing crap and he was walking in between the four of us as we we playing, like I said we were set up on the floor. Eventually he starts to lose it and we can see he's out of control, he starts running around between us not bothering us and he slams one guy, eventually he somehow gets tangled in one of my cords, nearly pulls my Wolfie out of my hand, trips on the cord and falls flat on his face. Meanwhile, he's still stuck in my cord, so I blew my solo in the song 'cause he unplugged me. He got up, staggered away laughing, but man he fell hard. After that song, we figured it was a good time to take a break. http://www.vhlinks.com/vhlforum/smilies/smile.gif

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Webmaster
VHLinks.com - Your Van Halen Internet Resource Guide
http://www.vhlinks.com

It gets better and better. Brett, when you slammed your head at least you weren't wearing a wig...lol
There's gotta be more out there that have had nights like us.

we've got some new guys, so resurecting this might be funhttp://www.vhforums.com/vhlforum/smilies/biggrin.gif

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Guitar Room player files http://www.freedrive.com/
UN: vhlinks
PW: vhlinks

Baluchitherium
G4
"back to you, underpants" -Big Red Allan

OK,
So we're practicing like mad for our first real show. All week long, I've been having power supply troubles to my pedals, all of a sudden, my sound is gone, and I've got to rearrange etc, can't find the bad connection, just getting more and more mad all week. Finally, I find the trouble spot on the afternoon before our show, and fix it, sweet, I'm so jacked. We play for about an hour, everything is going really good, and then whammo, no sound. It's coming up to a spot where I've got a solo, and it's one of our cool originals, the band can see what's happening, holy shit, I'm freaking out scrambling around my pedal board looking for the bad connection for what seems like an eternity. So we skip my solo basically, and keep rolling through the rythm, we can't stop, everyone is still grooving, so it's working out OK, finally, some lady from the audience comes up and says, "hey, you unplugged yourself," sort of into the microphone so everybody can hear that I've just spent the better part of a song looking for a bad power connection, when I'd just unplugged myself. Rookie mistake I guess.

We took most of the summer off this year, but just before we did, we played a club one night during a lighning storm. Appart from our amps crackling constantly, during our first set part of the roof caved in at the club. We weren't getting wet so we just kept playing. I guess you had to be there.

My very first show with my first band was great. We met our singer twice, and had one rehearsal. We only had to do 3 songs, and we did all original music. Problem was, the singer knew he would need to read his lyrics form a page, as he hadn't had time to memorize them. That was fine; the gig was rather informal anyway.

When we left for the club, he grabbed his notebook, a lemon to suck on, and he was ready to rock.

Upon getting to the stage, he realized he hadn't grabbed his lyric notebook--->he instead grabbed his Organic Chemistry notebook.

Being a real trooper, though, he sang what he read, which was usually something like this: 2 C O 3 + CH 4 yields....

Onstage, we thought it was funny.

The audience? Well, the PA was so bad, they couldn't understand him anyway. One girl even said (while caressing his manhood under a table) 'wow--your lyrics are like, so deep'

And he DIDN'T nail her. What a gentleman!

My very first show with my first band was great. We met our singer twice, and had one rehearsal. We only had to do 3 songs, and we did all original music. Problem was, the singer knew he would need to read his lyrics form a page, as he hadn't had time to memorize them. That was fine; the gig was rather informal anyway.

When we left for the club, he grabbed his notebook, a lemon to suck on, and he was ready to rock.

Upon getting to the stage, he realized he hadn't grabbed his lyric notebook--->he instead grabbed his Organic Chemistry notebook.

Being a real trooper, though, he sang what he read, which was usually something like this: 2 C O 3 + CH 4 yields....

Onstage, we thought it was funny.

The audience? Well, the PA was so bad, they couldn't understand him anyway. One girl even said (while caressing his manhood under a table) 'wow--your lyrics are like, so deep'

And he DIDN'T nail her. What a gentleman!

Cool, stories everyone!! LOLhttp://www.vhforums.com/vhlforum/smilies/smile.gif

This isn't meant to be racist at all - I actually got a really cool vibe out of it happening. Kinda felt like some racial barriers came down, actually.

We're playing a gig a few years ago and I'm doing "Eruption", OK? Just as I get done, and get ready to kick into the first chords of "You Really Got Me", I look up because everyone's going nuts (they always liked when I did that one - go figure http://www.vhforums.com/vhlforum/smilies/biggrin.gif ) - Well, the ONLY black guy in the place has positioned himself two inches from my nose and is screaming "YEEEEEEAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!"
Thought that was just cool as shit.

Same gig - my wife (who sang lead for us) is doing "Piece Of My Heart", and just belting the shit out of it. I see everybody on stage cracking up, and look over - some 50-ish nasty old burnout of a redneck is pullin his shirt up and pinching his nips while he flicked his tounge at her. She started to forget the words and had turn around to finish the song with her back to the crowd, she was laughing so hard. The guy got the boot by management soon after. Absolute classic moment. http://www.vhforums.com/vhlforum/smilies/biggrin.gif


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*gulp* - Down In Flames

"...like falling down the stairs and landing on your feet." - Edward Van Halen describing his solos.

"I'm not scared of you punk - I got chunks of guys like you in my stools!" - "Sinatra" to "Billy Idol" on SNL

Sorry, double-post.

[This message has been edited by Wolfman (edited September 24, 2000 at 05:27 PM).]

Ah, fuck me - triple-post. http://www.vhforums.com/vhlforum/smilies/biggrin.gif

[This message has been edited by Wolfman (edited September 24, 2000 at 05:28 PM).]

These stories are great.

I don't play in a band yet, still a newbie here. but have a funny story.

I was a this little club here in LA and the guitarist and drummer were acting really weird as they walked on stage.
One of my friends came over and said he was just in the bathroom with those guys and they are really bombed!!!!!!!!

They start to play and alls well so far and all of a sudden the drummer is playing so hard he falls off his seat and hits his head on the ground...They stop and pick him up and get him back on the chair and start to play again.

a few minutes later the guitarist is jumping around and wailing away when he just stops in mid song and PUKES right on his pedal board.

Needless to say, that was the last of thier set.....funny stuff. That's what you get...

Brett, where do you play in LA??????

Hope to have some of my own stories real soon...

peace,

kurt

These stories are great.

I don't play in a band yet, still a newbie here. but have a funny story.

I was a this little club here in LA and the guitarist and drummer were acting really weird as they walked on stage.
One of my friends came over and said he was just in the bathroom with those guys and they are really bombed!!!!!!!!

They start to play and alls well so far and all of a sudden the drummer is playing so hard he falls off his seat and hits his head on the ground...They stop and pick him up and get him back on the chair and start to play again.

a few minutes later the guitarist is jumping around and wailing away when he just stops in mid song and PUKES right on his pedal board.

Needless to say, that was the last of thier set.....funny stuff. That's what you get...

Brett, where do you play in LA??????

Hope to have some of my own stories real soon...

peace,

kurt

These stories are great.

I don't play in a band yet, still a newbie here. but have a funny story.

I was a this little club here in LA and the guitarist and drummer were acting really weird as they walked on stage.
One of my friends came over and said he was just in the bathroom with those guys and they are really bombed!!!!!!!!

They start to play and alls well so far and all of a sudden the drummer is playing so hard he falls off his seat and hits his head on the ground...They stop and pick him up and get him back on the chair and start to play again.

a few minutes later the guitarist is jumping around and wailing away when he just stops in mid song and PUKES right on his pedal board.

Needless to say, that was the last of thier set.....funny stuff. That's what you get...

Brett, where do you play in LA??????

Hope to have some of my own stories real soon...

peace,

kurt

These stories are great.

I don't play in a band yet, still a newbie here. but have a funny story.

I was a this little club here in LA and the guitarist and drummer were acting really weird as they walked on stage.
One of my friends came over and said he was just in the bathroom with those guys and they are really bombed!!!!!!!!

They start to play and alls well so far and all of a sudden the drummer is playing so hard he falls off his seat and hits his head on the ground...They stop and pick him up and get him back on the chair and start to play again.

a few minutes later the guitarist is jumping around and wailing away when he just stops in mid song and PUKES right on his pedal board.

Needless to say, that was the last of thier set.....funny stuff. That's what you get...

Brett, where do you play in LA??????

Hope to have some of my own stories real soon...

peace,

kurt

When in the middle of Unchained I did a Flying Eddie and didn't land on my feet

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"Alot of people think song without lyrics isn't a song at all. Tell that to Beethoven and he'll kick your ass" -Edward Van Halen

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Frankenstrat:
When in the middle of Unchained I did a Flying Eddie and didn't land on my feet

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>


Where did you land? http://www.vhforums.com/vhlforum/smilies/smile.gif


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"Fuck you, I give you my ass" -Down In Flames' mom as interpreted by Everyone.


"Take it off, Take it off, Yeah!"

E.B.A.S

Double post oops

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"Fuck you, I give you my ass" -Down In Flames' mom as interpreted by Everyone.


"Take it off, Take it off, Yeah!"

E.B.A.S

[This message has been edited by Unchained Wolfie (edited September 25, 2000 at 03:13 PM).]

Triple post this thread is F*%ked up!

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"Fuck you, I give you my ass" -Down In Flames' mom as interpreted by Everyone.


"Take it off, Take it off, Yeah!"

E.B.A.S

[This message has been edited by Unchained Wolfie (edited September 25, 2000 at 03:14 PM).]

sorry about the 4 posts guys.

The thing kept saying "internal server error" so I didn't think they were posted...

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOPPPPPPPPPPPPPPSSSSSSS !!!!!!!

kurt

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by kujo:
sorry about the 4 posts guys.

The thing kept saying "internal server error" so I didn't think they were posted...

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOPPPPPPPPPPPPPPSSSSSSS !!!!!!!

kurt<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Same for me